Once Rory got over the main shock of her mother's news, she went to Lane's house to get some advice. After being interrogated by Mrs. Kim, she was grudgingly allowed to see Lane for half an hour. She ran up the stairs to Lane's bedroom, entered quickly, and shut the door firmly behind her. Whirling around, she discovered Lane lying on her bed, headphones over her ears, blissfully unaware of the world around her. Rory knew that the quickest way to get Lane's attention was to cut off her drug at its source, so she stopped the CD. As expected, Lane's eyes opened, and she re-entered the world of Stars Hollow.
"Rory! How did you get in here?"
"Lane, I could have brought the entire South Korean soccer team in here, and you wouldn't have noticed. What are you listening to? Cuz if your mom ever catches you…"
"Hey, whoa. One question at a time. I'm listening to White Stripes, but in case Mom ever wants to know, I piggyback one CD on top of the other. It's always a Korean Bible song CD on top of the one I'm listening to. She never actually listens, she just wants to see. It always works."
"If she ever asks to listen, you know you're in the deep stuff."
"Nope. I have backup plans, one involving my CD player mysteriously breaking down."
"Well, that's good. Um, could we talk?"
"Sure." Lane reached up to turn her CD player off, but Rory stopped her.
"Actually, Lane, could you put on one of your Korean Bible CDs, and play it kindof loudly? I don't want your mom to overhear any of this." Lane looked confused, and then concerned, but she did what Rory asked. She also put a pillow over her register so that her mom couldn't listen via the ductwork in the lower level of the house. Once all these precautions had been taken, Rory and Lane sat down on the bed, and Rory launched into her story.
"Ok, Lane, you have to promise me that you'll listen to the end, no interruptions. Swear on Binky the Blanket."
"Rory, you haven't made me swear on Binky since we were eight."
"I know. But it's that important that you listen right to the end."
"Ok. I do solemnly swear on Binky the Blanket, that I will not say a word until you say that you're finished your story."
"Thank you." Rory took a deep breath and started talking. "Last night, before the wedding, Jess found me. He's moved back to Stars Hollow forever. And I kissed him." Lane's eyes opened wide and she made an 'eep' noise, but apart from that, didn't do anything. "That's why I was so anxious during the reception. I needed to talk to Jess, to try and figure out why I'd done that. When I did eventually find him, we talked, and I kissed him again." Subconsciously, Rory wondered if Lane's eyes could get any bigger. "Then, this morning, Dean came over to surprise me by leaving flowers on my doorstep, but I was awake, so I sortof surprised him, and he went to kiss me, but I stepped away. I just couldn't kiss him Lane! Not after I kissed Jess! And then, to top it all off, this morning Mom told me that Dad's almost ex-girlfriend is pregnant, and he's moving in with her again instead of moving here." Lane's eyes couldn't possibly get any wider without doing serious damage to her vision. "The end." Rory added. Lane let out a huge breath.
"Wow."
"Yep. Oh, and Paris and I won the class election, so I leave for Washington on Saturday."
"Wow." Lane was obviously floored. She collected herself quickly, though, and responded with a plan.
"How long are we allowed to talk?"
"Your mom gave me half an hour. We still have 20 minutes."
"Great! It's Monday, right?"
"Yes…"
"And Dean works afternoons on Mondays, right?"
"Yes…"
"Ok." Lane turned off her CD, grabbed Rory by the wrist, and tromped down the stairs. She found her mother sanding a small wooden jewelry box. After a quick conversation in Korean, Rory and Lane were headed towards Doose's Market.
"I told mom that I need tampons. Here's the plan: We're going to buy enough breakfast foods and microwave dinners to get you through this week. You can tell everyone that you're busy planning and packing for Washington. You'll never have to come into town, so you won't have to see Jess or Dean, and while you're away, you can evealuate your priorities. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that. Whoever you're fonder of at the end of your time, and please let it be Dean, you come back and everything is fine. You don't tell Dean what happened, and he won't be any wiser. Maybe the guilty knowledge of what you've done will keep it from happening again."
Rory was more shocked by Lane's diatribe than she had been when her mom announced Sherry's pregnancy. She stopped walking, right in the middle of the street. Lane jerked to a stop as well. It was a full minute before Rory could speak.
"Who are you, and what have you done with my best friend?"
"What? Rory, in spite of everything that you've been through, I refuse to believe that your brain has stopped working. I'm Lane Kim, your best friend. We're in Stars-"
"No. That whole speech I just heard was not Lane Kim. It was like Paris Gellar in Lane Kim's body."
"Well, kissing Jess was not something that Rory Gilmore would do, so we're even."
"Lane! Kissing Jess was not a premeditated action on my part!"
"What?" At the sound of a highly shocked male voice behind them, Lane and Rory spun around. The looks on their faces were identical. Rory spoke first.
"Oh my God. Dean…"
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Author's note: Bwahahaha. I am so evil. I may just stop writing this story now, so that you will never know what happens. The blatant suspense will kill you all.
But wait. Then I would never get another review. Never mind. I guess I'll keep going. :) Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. I'm writing all of your names down, and when I receive my first award for excellence in journalism, I'll thank you all publicly.