WELCOME BACK TO THE Théâtre de Sailor Scouts! It has been a long break since anything this stupid ha taken place here—We've mostly just had tea parties and sewing conventions for the past three months! Returning to the stage are the wonderful actors named the Sailor Scout Troupe who also recently saved the world several times

Rei: GET ON WITH THE STORY DAMMIT!

Okay okay. Today you shall see The Giant Wolf That Ate Los Angeles!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Act One, Scene One

Rei: Is this a real play? *offstage*

Ami: No, it's a Mina Original. *also offstage*

Mina: Damn straight. *lying on a lounge chair in her bathing suit, offstage*

Naruru: So I'm the narrator?

Ami: Yes.

Naruru: ALL RIGHT! *walks onstage* Ehem. In his secret laboratory, Dr. Pickle works on a potion that is supposed to turn the drinker into the most handsome person in the world, but probably won't seeing as it's just some water with green food dye in it!

Ami: *hangs her head*

Darien: *walks onstage wearing a scientist's white lab coat, holding a test tube with said green water in it* I must be the greatest genius in the world! Hahahahahaha! I will test the potion on myself! *drinks it and starts screaming and running around*

Rei: Isn't this sort-of like that Doctor Shmeshafesha and Mr. Hiding or something?

Ami: Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde?

Rei: That's what I said.

Ami:

Darien: *runs offstage and puts on the wolf costume then runs back on* ROAR!

Rei: Do wolves roar?

Ami: Not that I know of.

Naruru. Oh no. Now the wolf is going to destroy Los Angeles.

Darien: *starts ripping up cheap cardboard buildings*

Bunny: Oh no! A despicable evildoer doing despicable, evil deeds! I must stop it!

Ami: The show must go on

Bunny: SILVER MOON CRYSTAL POWER!!!

Ami: Just once I wanted to do a real play just once

Eternal Sailor Moon: Stop right there, evildoer!

Darien: Bunny?

ESM: ARGH! *jumps on Darien and starts biting him*

Naruru: Um Eternal Sailor Moon has come to the rescue! Will she be able to save the city?

Ami: *lying on the floor, sprawled out with her eyes closed, humming a Bach musette in a minor*

Rei: *pokes Ami's head* Ami? This is actually turning out to be pretty good. Sailor Moon has to save the city from a mad scientist who accidentally turned himself into a giant wolf. Not a bad original play, if I do say so myself.

Ami: *stops singing and opens her eyes* Really?

Darien: FUUUUUUUCKK!!!

Rei: Really.

Ami: Well you know what I always say. The show must go on!

Andy: That's the spirit!!

Ami: Where did you come from?

Andy: I've been here the entire time but this story/script never mentioned me.

Ami: Oh okay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Act One, Scene Two

Naruru: Eternal Sailor Moon does battle with the despicable evildoer who is destroying Los Angeles!

Darien: Roar!

ESM: The sun high above may forgive your evil deeds, but I do not!

Rei: She got that one from The Slayers that's a great show by the way. You (the reader) should watch it. SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES WILL BRAINWASH YOU! GO BUY A RUBBER CHICKEN!

Darien: You cannot stop me, Eternal Sailor Moon! I'm a big bad wolf!

Naruru: Yeah, sure

Darien: Bwahahahaha! *starts ripping up more cardboard buildings*

ESM: MOON ATTACK THINGY THAT LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF PLAYING-CARD ACES FLYING THROUGH THE AIR IN A SPIRAL!

Darien: Oh no! Not the Moon Attack Thingy That Looks Like A Bunch Of Playing-Card Aces Flying Through The Air In A Spiral!!! AAAAAAARGH!!! *runs offstage*

ESM: I have defeated the villain!

*massive burst of applause from the audience*

Ami: I I don't believe it. The play was a hit. The audience liked it.

Rei: Yeah. Who would've guessed an airhead with big blond balls on her head dressed in a sports bra and a really colorful short skirt with a big stick with a heart on one end could save the show?

Mina: I didn't.

Ami: You were sleeping.

Mina: So?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Act Two, Scene One

Ami: This story has a moral.

Mina: If at first you don't succeed

Naruru: Try try again?

Ami: No. Even Bunny is useful sometimes.