MKR Parody
Chapter 4
Christine and Natasha finally catch up with Suzie and Yoko-ona.
Natasha: Suzie! What did you do that for?
Suzie: What?
Natasha: You Kicked Yoko-ona.
pic of Yoko-ona with swirley eyes and a boot mark in it.
Suzie (shruggs): meh.
Christine: Hey, Jiggly puff, are you ok?
Yoko-ona: (still swilrey) Puhhhhhhhhhhh!
(Shakes head, clears up, blows out cheeks)
Yoko-ona (angry): Puhhhhhh!!
(Goes up to Suzie)
Suzie: huh?
Yoko-ona: PUH!!!
(SMACK, slaps Suzie. Tash and Chris look on with sweat drops as Yoko-ona dusts off his hands and Suzie lies on the ground with swirley eyes)
Chris: She had that coming.
Tash: Yep!
Chris goes to Suzie, Tash talks to Yoko-ona.
Tash: Sorry. She won't do that again. Right Suzie?
Suzie: ...(swirl swirl)...
Tash: So, which way is it to Eterna?
Yoko-ona looks at her with blank eyes.
Tash: You know, the fountain of eterna, where we're supposed to get the escudo?
Still blank staring. Chris comes up.
Chris: You do know what we're talking about? Don't you?
Yoko-ona shakes head.
Suzie: WHAT!! YOUmmmfffff..
Chris covers her mouth, both of them hold her back. Yoko-ona runs away.
Tash: Wait!
Suzie: mmmmmfff!!
Tash follows Yoko-ona, Chris holds Suzie back still. After a few seconds Suzie stops mummbling.
Christine: You done?
Suzie: nods
Christine: then lets go!
They run after Tash + Yoko-ona. Tash follows Yoko-ona into some bushes. Suddenly Yoko-ona comes running back into her armes. Tash looks up and sees...
Tash: AHHHHHHHH!!! A GIANT BUG!!!
giant bug...
GIANT BUG!!!!
Her yelling of course attracts the bug, which is about the size of a bus.
Christine + Suzie run up.
Christine: Tash? (you yelled?)
Suzie: What the hell is that!?
Christine: It looks sort of like a giant black fly.
Suzie: I know that, what's it doing here?
Christine: I don't know. Why don't you ask it?
Suzie: (evil glare) You're mocking me.
Tash: Would you just shut up and draw your weapons.
C+S: oh yeah, right...AHHHH!
Bug dive bombs them. They draw.
Chris: And remember, don't yell!
They charge with battle whispers again. Chris takes out an eye. The bug falls on it's back. Suzie Cuts off legs at random. Tash goes for the forhead. After a few minutes the bug is dead
Tash: Whew, That was scary!
They sit collapsed against each other in the clearing. Others, nod and pant. Yoko-ona comes up.
Yoko-ona: Puh! :)
Suzie and Yoko-ona look at each other. Yoko-ona looks scared all of a sudden.
Suzie: What're you looking at? I'm still too tired. Go bug somebody else.
Yoko-ona: PUHH!!!
(runs away. Seconds later, a shadow falls over the three.)
All: Huh?
(A Giant spider, the size of a another bus, has spotted them. )
All: eek!!
(The spider comes towards them. They run. A swish sound is heard, then a roar, and finally a thunk. They stop, and look back. The spider has been decapitated. )
All: Woah!
Voice: THAT'S how you kill a spider!
They look up. Some guy with sprite-bottle green hair and a scar under his right eye is sitting in a tree holding a long bladed battle axe. His name is Perrier. Tash and Suzie Blush.
Tash: tee hee
Suzie: I have to go to my locker...
Tash sweat drops
Tash: Suzie, you don't have a locker.
Suzie: I oh, well then give me an excuse to go to the stupid tree. Ah I know. Yoko-ona.
Christine is behind the other two. She looks, blushes a tiny bit, then shakes her head vigorously. Suize is just about to punt Yoko-ona to the tree when the green haired guy jumps down and walks up to them. He looks at Tash.
Perrier: Hmmm, not bad, not bad.
(Then at Suzie, while Tash gives him a strange look.)
Perrier: Whoa, what a babe!
(Suzie arches her eyebrows and turns red.)
Perrier: Now if only…
(He stops and looks at Chris with the most disappointed face ever.)
Chris: What?
(She looks herself over to see if something's wrong.)
Perrier: Why did I have to get stuck with the broad?
(Suzie and Tash get shocked faces. A vein pops out of Chris's head.)
Chris: Excuse me?
Perrier: Well, she's cute (points to Tash) and she's gorgeous, (points to Suzie) but you, you're…well…you know.
Chris: I'm sorry I'm afraid I have no clue what you're talking about.
Perrier: Of course you do! You're the green Magic Understudy, (points to Chris) and you're supposed to fall for the handsome swordsman (takes a bow) you meet in the forest of Overwhelming Noise. (He waves his arm around to show the forest.)
Perrier: So you see why I'd be disappointed.
(Suzie and Tash storm up to him.)
Suzie: Hey! That's my friend you're talking about! She may not look it, but Chris can be damn pretty when she wants to be.
Tash: Yeah! Where do you get off saying things like that about people anyway! It's downright rude!
Chris: Magic Understudies?
(Everyone turns to her)
Chris: I'm afraid I don't know who or what you're talking about.
All: ?
Chris (innocently): We're just innocent Cefirian ...uh... Girl Guides. We have to make it through the forest in order to earn our…survival badge. We don't know anything about Magic Understudies.
All: Huh?
Perrier: So, you're not the Magic Understudies?
Chris: I'm afraid not, but I guess it means you have nothing to worry about right?
Perrier: Uh, yeah I guess.
Chris: (Smiling) Well, I guess we'll be on our way then. Come on Suzie, Tash…
Suzie to Tash: Wow, I didn't know Chris was such a good liar.
Tash to Suzie: Or a good actor for that matter. She'd normally have punched his lights out by now!
Chris: Tash, Suzie?
(She waves at them to hurry up. They run over to her as she turns to go. The second her back it turned to Perrier, she grits her teeth in rage.)
Chris: (Muttering) that stupid, rude, arrogant JERK!!!!! I'll kill him, I'll kill him!!
Perrier: Wait a minute!
(Chris stops gritting and smiles pleasantly as she turns to him again.)
Chris: Yes Mr. Woodsman?
(Perrier steps towards them a bit.)
Perrier: Girl Guides huh?
Chris: That's right.
Perrier: And you plan to go through this forest?
(Chris nodds, and Perrier sighs.)
Perrier: You poor, poor girls. There's no way I can let you go through there by yourselves. It's way too dangerous! Allow me to accompany you as your bodyguard.
(Chris looks horror struck.)
Chris: umm, ahh, you can't...because…then we can't get our badge…
Perrier: Oh, who's going to know?
Suzie: Yeah, who's going to know?
Chris: SUZIE!!
Suzie: Awe, but Chris…(He's really, really cute!)
Chris: Uh…but…he.…
Tash: …we probably could use the help…
(Chris stares at the ground, defeated.)
Perrier: So it's settled then. By the way, I'm Perrier.
Suzie: (brightly) I'm Suzie!
Tash: I'm Natasha.
Chris: (Glaring) Call me Chris-san…
Perrier: Well then, let's get going.
(They start walking, following Yoko-ona. After a few minutes of hiking, Perrier suddenly thinks of something.)
Perrier: Hey…Aren't girl guides supposed to sing hiking songs while they walk?
(Chris looks flustered)
Chris: I…uh…guess so.
(Suzie rolls her eyes.)
Suzie: (aside sarcastically) ...Great cover Chris.
Chris: (Suddenly changes subject) Oh look, a bug…
(Runs off to kill it…)
*~*~*~*~*