Disclaimer: I don't own linkin park and I forgot to put the song title in
the last chapter. It was "One Step Closer" the song used in this chapter is
"Papercut" ok. I don't own it. There. Ok?
*~*
Nini watched Satine from the shadows. She was practicing the new routine.
Nini glared and fell back against a wall. She was tired of being one of many that were considered second best. She was fed up with Satine being higher and worth more than her. Satine was always the center of attention. Satine was the star.
Nini walked along the wall and to a door that opened out into the garden. She slipped through and found herself in the warm noon sun.
Even though the day was warm and bright, her heart was cold and dark.
She began to sing softly to herself, expressing all the inner insecurities and fears. "Why does it feel like night today? Something in here's not right today."
She held her hand over her heart and sat by a small pond in the garden.
"Why am I so uptight today? Paranoia's all I got left. I don't know what stressed me first, or how the pressure was fed. But I know just what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my head."
She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she thought of all the times she had tried to sabotage Satine only to feel bad about it later.
It's like a face that I hold inside. A face that awakes when I close my eyes."
She realized that every time she was near failure she found some way to sabotage whoever was keeping her from succeeding.
"A face that watches every time I lie. A face that laughs every time I fall. And watches everything. So I know that when it's time to sink or swim, that the face inside is hearing me right underneath my skin."
She felt a few more tears slide down her cheek at her recent self evaluation.
She stood up and began to walk along a small path that wound around the elephant and into some trees. "It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back. It's like a whirlwind inside of my head. It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within it's like the face inside is right beneath my skin."
She doubled back on the path, leading her to a window that looked into the main hall. "I know I've got a face in me, points out all my mistakes to me." She looked up at Satine for a moment and considered the pressures she was envying. "You've got a face on the inside too. You're paranoia's probably worse."
Nini turned and fell against the wall. "I don't know what set me off first, but I know what I can't stand. Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is I can't add up to what you can."
She looked around at everyone walking by her. Just continuing on with their meaningless lives. "But everybody has a face that they hold inside. A face that awakes when they close their eyes. A face that watches every time they lie. A face that laughs every time they fall and watches everything."
She looked back into the window. "So you know that when it's time to sink or swim, that the face inside is watching you too, right inside your skin."
She turned, her back against the wall, and sank to the ground. "The sun goes down, I feel the light betray me. It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin." She let her head fall into her hands as she gave in to her venerability and began to cry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
AN: how was this chapter sweeties? I'm tryin to explain WHY Nini did the things she did to Satine and Christian in MR without completely going out of character for her. And I believe that everyone is basically good, it just depends on what you let others see. So tell me whacha think. :-D
*~*
Nini watched Satine from the shadows. She was practicing the new routine.
Nini glared and fell back against a wall. She was tired of being one of many that were considered second best. She was fed up with Satine being higher and worth more than her. Satine was always the center of attention. Satine was the star.
Nini walked along the wall and to a door that opened out into the garden. She slipped through and found herself in the warm noon sun.
Even though the day was warm and bright, her heart was cold and dark.
She began to sing softly to herself, expressing all the inner insecurities and fears. "Why does it feel like night today? Something in here's not right today."
She held her hand over her heart and sat by a small pond in the garden.
"Why am I so uptight today? Paranoia's all I got left. I don't know what stressed me first, or how the pressure was fed. But I know just what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my head."
She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she thought of all the times she had tried to sabotage Satine only to feel bad about it later.
It's like a face that I hold inside. A face that awakes when I close my eyes."
She realized that every time she was near failure she found some way to sabotage whoever was keeping her from succeeding.
"A face that watches every time I lie. A face that laughs every time I fall. And watches everything. So I know that when it's time to sink or swim, that the face inside is hearing me right underneath my skin."
She felt a few more tears slide down her cheek at her recent self evaluation.
She stood up and began to walk along a small path that wound around the elephant and into some trees. "It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back. It's like a whirlwind inside of my head. It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within it's like the face inside is right beneath my skin."
She doubled back on the path, leading her to a window that looked into the main hall. "I know I've got a face in me, points out all my mistakes to me." She looked up at Satine for a moment and considered the pressures she was envying. "You've got a face on the inside too. You're paranoia's probably worse."
Nini turned and fell against the wall. "I don't know what set me off first, but I know what I can't stand. Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is I can't add up to what you can."
She looked around at everyone walking by her. Just continuing on with their meaningless lives. "But everybody has a face that they hold inside. A face that awakes when they close their eyes. A face that watches every time they lie. A face that laughs every time they fall and watches everything."
She looked back into the window. "So you know that when it's time to sink or swim, that the face inside is watching you too, right inside your skin."
She turned, her back against the wall, and sank to the ground. "The sun goes down, I feel the light betray me. It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin." She let her head fall into her hands as she gave in to her venerability and began to cry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
AN: how was this chapter sweeties? I'm tryin to explain WHY Nini did the things she did to Satine and Christian in MR without completely going out of character for her. And I believe that everyone is basically good, it just depends on what you let others see. So tell me whacha think. :-D