The Ghost in the Machine
Chapter Ten
All These Days Undone
And disorder must come
And disorder must reign
"God gives us dreadful gifts. The most dreadful of all is memory." Ray Bradbury, "The Wish" in Long After Midnight.
Six months ago…
"You're just leaving?" Kai threw her attaché case to the floor in a fit of rage. "You're just going to pick up your shit and leave on a moment's notice? Who the fuck do you think you are?"
"You're very observant." Michael turned and reluctantly took his hand off the doorknob. "I'm not staying here any longer. You need to understand that it's not going to work. I appreciate all that you've done for me, but we're not going to do this."
"You've lost your mind," she pointed her finger up at him. "You think I don't see your paranoia? I'm not stupid. I know about that book with the torn cover you read all the time. You're losing your grasp on reality and it's not going help things if you run off with Howie."
"No, Kai, I'm getting a grasp on reality."
"You're abandoning me." Her expression changed and her voice softened.
"You can't understand it. There's no place for you in my life. I'm sorry. I wish we could coexist, but Kai it will never work. We are too different."
"I did you a favor. I've saved your ass a thousand times and this is how you repay me. On your own you'd be dead already. You can't survive on your own out there." Michael shook his head resolutely, fury rose in her cheeks. "Shit, you just walk out," she yanked the door open for him and grabbed his arm violently. Despite her small size, he tensed with fear. "If you leave me you won't get very far. You'll be back begging—"
"Not any more," he whispered. "I'm tired of begging," Michael pulled away from her and shut the door.
"You're abandoning me." A single tear rolled defiantly down her pale cheek.
For two hours she stood immobile staring at the closed door. She allowed herself to become lost in the wood grain as she tried to decipher its shapes and patterns. The lifeless knots and curves grew into three winged serpents encircling the peephole. The illusion grew more convincing the longer she stared at it and the less attention she paid to room around her. Their bodies became green, graceful and perfect, but the wings seemed out of place. The wings appeared artificial, as if Daedalus had not quite perfected the invention for his flying son. One of the serpents turned its head and smiled. Mechanically, she reached out and opened the door for the three men in dark suits and glasses.
They had not knocked.
"Ms. Thoreau," the tall flashed his credentials and put a search warrant in her hands. "We require your assistance in a security investigation. Is Michael Kelly here?"
"He's gone." The finality of the statement struck her.
She looked at the crisp paper and stepped aside to let the agents enter. The shortest of the three smiled at her as he passed. "Kai," he nodded. The other two turned on him viciously and she was surprised not that he knew her name, but by his familiarity. .
"I'll try to help," she ran her hands through her hair and settled them on her hips. Her normal demeanor returned. "Can I get you coffee, tea, Ovaltine and Everclear on the rocks?" Their deadpan expressions were adequate answers.
"Ms. Thoreau, we need information concerning the whereabouts of Michael Kelly."
"What do you want with Michael?"
"He as been implicated in several plots to destabilize the government. He is very dangerous," the man in the center frowned and the shorter one motioned for her to sit down. She did not comply.
"Michael is a fuck. Michael is a dork. Michael is a horse's ass. But, Michael is not a terrorist. I've been living with the bastard off and on for nearly ten years and I would have to be a complete idiot not to notice a terrorist sharing my bathroom. You've got the wrong man."
"No, we have the correct suspect," the tallest of the three corrected her like she was a confused child.
"No," she folded her arms and squared off at the trio. "You're saying that I couldn't notice a terrorist under my nose. I know what a terrorist is and I would know if I was living with one," she became agitated, not for the accusation levied at Michael, but the one against her.
The man with the auburn hair and the angular face straightened his cuffs. "Ms. Thoreau, we are going to take the hard drive from the desk top you share with Mr. Kelly." The other two men obediently started towards the computer leaving them alone. He looked past her—through her—to the bookcase. She turned to see what drew his attention and then looked back at her reflection in his mirrored glasses. The old photograph of her and Michael at the seashore produced a disdainful sneer on the agent's face. He set his jaw. "When was the last time you saw him?"
"He left with a friend this morning. He's not coming back. We had a fight," the finality no longer stung. Inexplicably, she was more concerned with what this man thought of her. "Look, I'm not an idiot. I would know," she sighed. "I would know if I was living with a terrorist. I'm not stupid and blind like the rest of this world. I'm not like them."
The men finished with the computer and started for the door. The visit was over. She reached out and seized the agent's arm. Dizziness washed over her, her head throbbed and the bright light hurt her eyes. "Why is it this way? What's happening?" More than anything, she desired for the stranger to promise her that everything was going to be all right. "I don't want for it to be like this," she choked.
He took her hand off his arm and turned towards the door.
"No!" she came alive and grabbed at him, but the shorter one pulled her away. "You will not abandon me!" He did not turn around.
"Kai," the agent with the soft voice did not disguise his familiarity, despite the earlier reaction of his colleagues, and smiled openly as their backs were turned. "You are dreaming. This is all just a dream. Nothing happened here today and you've not been abandoned."
The door closed.
***
Three months ago…
Twenty minutes past the hour, she looked at her watch and made a mad dash for the elevator, reaching it just in time. The rubber soles of her black boots squeaked and she dropped her satchel. Pleased with her speed and dexterity, she bent down and happily scooped up her possessions. She smiled broadly at the man in the black suit and pressed her number on the keypad. The security of the elevator made her relax, but the silence always bothered her. "What do you call a skydiving lawyer?" She looked over her shoulder.
"I do not know," the voice sounded unimpressed.
"Skeet." She laughed at her own joke and turned to face the agent standing behind her. "Sorry," she shrugged and blushed. "I'm Kai. I'm in Mass Comm.," she extended her hand.
"Smith," a brief smile surfaced and he took her hand. "Enforcement." The elevator chimed at his floor and he stepped out, but then stopped and held the door.
"What do you call an agent assigned to Antarctica?"
"I don't know, Smith."
"A penguin," he let the door close.
***
6 hours ago…
The mirror broke and she screamed as she clutched her bloody hand. "Relax, Kai," she threatened herself and yanked a roll of gauze out of the medicine cabinet. "Just settle down, right?" she clenched one end of the bandage in her teeth and tied it. It was too quiet; she turned the on the water for noise. The room became unbearably hot; she felt the walls closing in and her heart pounded against her chest. Her mind wandered.
The prison enveloped her and she tasted saline. She pressed her hands to her eyes and tried to push away the image of the red room suffocating her. Using all of her strength, she fought against the chains binding her and for but a brief moment the red room turned green.
The broken mirror and steamy bathroom rematerialized.
With shaking hands, she rummaged through medicine cabinet, knocking its contents into the sink and on to the floor. She fought with the child protective cap on the bottle of Thorazine and slammed it against the edge of the sink. "Shit!" she threw it at the shower.
"You will never find me," she threatened the empty house, as she dressed.
"I'm going to disappear and you'll never see me again." She picked up the two photographs lying on the floor in front of the bookcase. She smiled at the memory of the beach and frowned at the other. Intently, she grabbed a piece of newsprint and wrapped it around the frames and snatched up her keys.
"You fucking blue eyed bastard…" She slid the gun off the kitchen counter and shoved it in the back of her pants. For a moment she thought about taking the copy of Engines of Creation with her, but she already knew how the story ended.
***
Alsace pushed her up the stairs. She stumbled and struck her knee against the concrete. "You remember this place, Kai?" He hauled her to her feet and shoved her into wall. "I sure as hell do," he pulled her back and slammed her into the wall again. Blood dripped from her nose. Punch drunk she held up the weapon and clicked it in Alsace's face. He laughed and pushed the barrel away, "Oh, how the mighty have fallen."
***
Operating File 70858.01. Site Interrogation Protocol 1.001 preceding ENF Extermination Protocol 12.40. Location 772.421-111 60606.
Subject identified as Informant Class 2 012-85-4329USM (Michael D. Kelly) in compliance with ENF Extermination Protocol 12.44. Informant reclassified as a Subversive Class 3 following Status and Functional Reclassification in compliance with SPOO General Protocol 210.6 and Evaluation Protocol 31.87 initiated by SPOO 70858.04 (defunct) and completed by SPOO 43902.01 under ENF Unit Authorization 70858.01. 012-85-4329USM transferred to Questioning (Query) status.
Interrogation Record 012-85-4329USM in compliance with Site Interrogation Protocol 1.002.
Pitch and resonance recording, speech modulation and vocal subroutine 100.00 Am1M. ENF 70858.01, "We have been attempting to locate you, Mr. Kelly, for quite some time. This sudden disappearance is a deviation from your normal behavioral patterns."
Pitch and resonance recording, Query, speech pattern 54.2AmM uneven and inconsistent, "I didn't know I was supposed to be at your beck and call all the damn time. I've got a life to live and I figured you were watching me well enough anyway."
Pitch and resonance recording, speech modulation and vocal subroutine 100.00 Am1M. ENF 70858.01, "Mr. Kelly, you have been engaged in a series of deceptive practices that have lead us to question the sincerity of your loyalty."
Pitch and resonance recording, Query, speech pattern 54.2AmM uneven and inconsistent, "I'm a goddamn informant, Smith. My job is to play around with the resistos and report it back to you. If you question the sincerity of my loyalty it's because I'm doing a good job. You watch me close enough to know that I'm not screwing you around."
Pitch and resonance recording, speech modulation and vocal subroutine 100.0 Am1M. ENF 70858.01, "Mr. Kelly, your extended association with an individual referred to as Howie, failure to report regularly, secretive behavior and possession of an unauthorized access code has lead us to believe that are you are indeed attempting to, as you so poignantly put it, 'screw around.'"
Pitch and resonance recording, Query, speech pattern 54.2Am1M uneven and inconsistent, "It's my job to associate with Howie and I don't know what code you're talking about."
Pitch and resonance recording, speech modulation with correction and adjusted vocal subroutine 100.0Am1M. ENF 70858.01, "Your objective is to transfer information to us about the activities of subversive cells operating in the 606060 area. Your objective does not entail the transfer of sensitive information to such subversive cells as you have done on seven occasions in the past year. The code of which I refer is ED.09IN, a level two energy code, a type quite commonly sought by Voids."
Pitch and resonance recording, Query, agitation, "I don't screw around with fucking fusion vampires. I am smarter than that, Smith. They're dangerous and unpredictable. Only a fool screws around with those bastards."
Pitch and resonance recording, speech modulation with correction and adjusted vocal subroutine 100.0Am1M. ENF 70858.01, "Mr. Kelly, you have a history of collaboration with Voids. It was your association with a Void calling himself Alsace that first brought you to our attention for use as an informant. Additionally, the outcome of that association brought you to my—" Possessive Error 404, "our attention as a potential source of difficulty."
Pitch and resonance recording, Query, panic, "Shit, Smith, I've been cleared for my role in that. I got you guys the code for that portable pinch. You got an upgrade out of the deal and I got a protected file. This can't be about that. I fucking paid my price for that. Damnit, I've had to live under the nose of the fucking angel of death. Every day for ten years I've lived in fear that she's going to wake up one morning and put a steak knife through my forehead. I've been imprisoned with a monster that makes a fusion vampire look like a puppy. I'm cleared of that." Time lapse interval 00:00:43:02. "Smith, I don't know what you guys have for her, but you can't exterminate me for it."
Pitch and resonance recording, speech modulation and vocal subroutine 100.0Am1M. ENF 70858.01, "Mr. Kelly, your possession of a level two energy code is a terminal offense as is the questionable nature of your association with a known subversive. Stand up."
Pitch and resonance recording, Query, fear, "I'll give you anything you want."
Pitch and resonance recording, speech modulation with correction and adjusted vocal subroutine 100.0Am1M. ENF 70858.01, "Very well. I want you to stand up."
Pitch and resonance recording, Query, fear, "You unholy inanimate bastard. You're the fucking devil."
Pitch and resonance recording, speech modulation with correction and adjusted vocal subroutine 100.0Am1M. ENF 70858.01, "No, I am only the messenger, Mr. Kelly."
Cling Pitch and resonance recording metal on wood composition flooring from height of 1.12 meters. Weapon IMIDE ENF 70858.01 ejects shell cartridge. Projectile enters Query 5 centimeters below Extermination Procedural Protocol Point Thoracic 1.00...
A black car pulled up outside the hotel and two men got out.
I am the bullet in your gun—and I control you.
I am the truth from which you run—and I control you.
I am the silencing machine—and I control you.
I am the end of all your dreams—and I control.
From Mr. Self Destruct (NIN, Halo 8)