"Cook! Cooks?" Kuzco was walking the halls near the kitchen in the middle of the night. "Coo-oooks, I'm huuungry..! Where are youuuuou? You should be heeeeeerrre, serving me fooooood!"
When there was no answer, probably because it was the middle of the night, Kuzco decided to go for a stroll into the kitchen area. He walked around the corner and gasped at the state one of the kitchen rooms was in. There were foamy piles of white bubbles scattered around, slimy entrails to be found at intervals and some tufts of grey fur here and there. Kuzco took a step back. Ugh, mess was beneath him. Surveying the mess, he noticed a note laying on the ground. He tiptoed towards it, careful not to get anything on him, and bent to pick it up. A misplaced foot caused a slippery piece of whatever-it-is-you-don't-want-to-know to slide from under him and Kuzco fell, landing face first in the gunk. Grumbling and muttering to himself, Kuzco grabbed the letter and sat up. He unscrunched in his hands and read it. It said, "Dear Cooks, My deepest apologies about the slight mess. Had a little cooking accident in here. Could you please clean it up before anyone notices and I get in trouble. Thankyou very much, Kaylan; Emperors Advisor."
Kuzco's face turned red as he scrambled to stand up, his feet sliding in every direction. "Kaylaaaaaaan!" He yelled, but there was no reply, her quarters were on the other side of the palace. Kuzco stormed out of the kitchens fuming, leaving a sticky messy trail of footprints behind him.
"Kaylan!" He said, entering her room. "Kaylan!"
Kaylan, who was sleeping in her four poster bed, sat bolt upright and not quite awake. "Kuzco?..." She asked sleepily. "What're you doing here."
A piece of entrail dripped off of the end of Kuzco's nose, falling splat on the floor. "Kaylan... Massiela... Roeschan... Viracocha." He said. "You are responsible for this."
"Huh?" Replied Kaylan. "I dint do anything. Howd you get so messy?"
"The kitchen... and your note."
This comment woke Kaylan up completely. "Oh my god. Oshitoshitoshitoshitoshit." She said, half-smiling in terror. "You found that, eh?"
"Yes." Said Kuzco. "Yes, I did, May I ask when the hell that was?"
"Oh sure. It'll most certainly make you less angry... I think."
"Continue."
"You, Kuzco the Emperor, are covered in the gory remains of your old advisor."
"Huh?" Kuzco's jaw dropped.
"Heh heh, now you're the one who's not quite awake." Continued Kaylan. "Yup, I kinda exploded Yzma-Kitty. You don't mind you?"
"Ummm... No."
"Well that's good. I was afraid you'd have me killed for getting revenge of her."
"For killing Yzma?"
"Yeah, I couldn't let her live. She made you distrust me."
"Well... I did give no another chance."
"Look how far that went. You stormed in here ready to call armageddon down upon me."
"True, but look at this mess you've gotten all over me."
"I'm truly sorry about that. It was nescessary to explode her that way."
"Why?"
"If you'd seen the look on her face when she realized what was going to happen, you would know what."
"You suprise me Kaylan." Said Kuzco. "When you come here, to the palace, you are humble and resigned to be a... how did you put it... a toy poodle?"
"I think I said that."
"Yeah, but then you show a fiery side, when you storm out, and your intelligence when you try to act like a servant. Alot of the other girls would have acted snobbish and said they were royalty. So then after that, you prove yourself hard working and with a good mind for money at the fish market, and fiercely loyal when you return to the palace."
"And ridiculously stupid when Yzma knocks me out."
"That too. But then you're forgiving when you take care of Yzma-Kitty and you show signs of being gullible when you're under alot of stress form work. When you yourself are wronged, you prove to be very creative, vengerful and non-chalant about murder."
"She would have murdered you."
"Yes, fiecely loyal again. Your personality is more complex than any worker, farmer, servant or indeed nobility, that I have ever met."
"Really?" Kyalan was not sure where this was going. "I don't think I understand what you're trying to say."
"Ummm... Okay, now I don't understand how to say what I am trying. Okay, here goes." Said Kuzco. "You fascinate me, Kaylan, I would be honoured if you would be my bride."
Moments passed as realization did across Kaylan's face.
"Oh no. Uh-uh, no way." She shook her head. "You're standing here covered head to toe in Yzma's guts saying you want to marry me because I fascinate you."
"Well... yeah."
"That's no reason to marry someone." Kaylan said indignantly. "Besides that, this is all way to fast."
"You're saying no... to an Emperor?"
"Yup. So fire me." Said Kaylan. "But that won't make me marry you either."
"So... what will?"
"First, you'd have to NOT be covered in Yzma-goop." Kaylan begain. "You would have to prove that you love me for other reasons, that we're compatible, that you like me as a person, that we share the same interests."
"Well, don't we?"
"I don't know. You would also have to sign a piece of paper stating that in no way am I a trophy wife and you would thus have not right to treat me as a prize you have won, no showing me off to your friends and no belittling me in front of visitors. No killing me because I show affections to others either. That one goes double. It would have to be more than a business deal or a curiousity." Said Kaylan. "I... can tell that you are already quite attracted to me physically, as such you may dispense witht he vantity. Puffing your chest out does not make you any more good looking."
"Anything else?"
"Apart from you loving me... I would have to love you back." Said Kaylan. "And making me love you would be one hard task."
"I'll do it. All of it." Proclaimed Kuzco. "Starting with the bath. Eeew! Yzma entrails STINK!"
"Then buh-bye now." Finished Kaylan. "I need to sleep or I'll be VERY cranky in the morning."
"Right." Said Kuzco. "Okay, I'm going. Goodbye."
Kuzco walked out of the door, but turned, sticking his head back through the door. "I love you..." He whispered, before walking away, down the hall and back to his side to the palace to get a bath.
******
Yzma's death was announced the next day.
"And so... it is with great sadness that we mourn the departure of our beloved crone... NOT!" Said Kuzco, in the announcing room. "Guys, Yzma is dead and I declare today to be a national party."
Kuzco fell silent for a moment, thinking.
"I would also like to introduce you to the new Emperor's Advisor, if you haven't already met her." He continued. "May I present to you, Kaylan Massiela Roeschan Viracocha, the new second in command."
Rula gave Kaylan in the wings an push, forcing her to stumble out in front of the crowd.
"Umm... Hi." Said Kaylan. "I'm Kaylan... long live Kuzco."
Overcome by stage fright, Kaylan ran off the stage.
"I hate doing that." She whispered to Rula. "I hate crowds.
Meanwhile Kuzco continued talking to the gathering.
"A national party, and as such, the feasting will begin for ALL at Seven tonight and..."
Kuzco was cut short by a wailing from the middle of the crowd.
"Ohh... huh huh huh. Wahhhhhh." Kronk grieved for Yzma. "Oh, *sniff* sorry, don't... wahhhh... don't mind me... huh huh huh... please continue."
"Someone get him." Said Kuzcom and this was Rula's cue. She hurried out and led Kronk away.
"Shhh, now now, It's okay. Shhh shhh, she's in a better place now... shhh..." Rula rocked Kronk in her arms, as hard as that seemed. "Shhhh, the pain is normal. Everything will be okay..."
"Ooohhh... but ohhh wahhhh... It hurts so bad... huh huh huh." Kronk wept. "She... didn't even say goodbye..."
"Don't you worry... I'll take care of you." Rula comforted. "I'm her for you."
"Thank you... Miss..."
"I'm Arula Perencho... and come now, you need to rest. Sleep will help."
Rula smiled, feeling a tender spot for Kronk as she led him to a place he could rest.
When there was no answer, probably because it was the middle of the night, Kuzco decided to go for a stroll into the kitchen area. He walked around the corner and gasped at the state one of the kitchen rooms was in. There were foamy piles of white bubbles scattered around, slimy entrails to be found at intervals and some tufts of grey fur here and there. Kuzco took a step back. Ugh, mess was beneath him. Surveying the mess, he noticed a note laying on the ground. He tiptoed towards it, careful not to get anything on him, and bent to pick it up. A misplaced foot caused a slippery piece of whatever-it-is-you-don't-want-to-know to slide from under him and Kuzco fell, landing face first in the gunk. Grumbling and muttering to himself, Kuzco grabbed the letter and sat up. He unscrunched in his hands and read it. It said, "Dear Cooks, My deepest apologies about the slight mess. Had a little cooking accident in here. Could you please clean it up before anyone notices and I get in trouble. Thankyou very much, Kaylan; Emperors Advisor."
Kuzco's face turned red as he scrambled to stand up, his feet sliding in every direction. "Kaylaaaaaaan!" He yelled, but there was no reply, her quarters were on the other side of the palace. Kuzco stormed out of the kitchens fuming, leaving a sticky messy trail of footprints behind him.
"Kaylan!" He said, entering her room. "Kaylan!"
Kaylan, who was sleeping in her four poster bed, sat bolt upright and not quite awake. "Kuzco?..." She asked sleepily. "What're you doing here."
A piece of entrail dripped off of the end of Kuzco's nose, falling splat on the floor. "Kaylan... Massiela... Roeschan... Viracocha." He said. "You are responsible for this."
"Huh?" Replied Kaylan. "I dint do anything. Howd you get so messy?"
"The kitchen... and your note."
This comment woke Kaylan up completely. "Oh my god. Oshitoshitoshitoshitoshit." She said, half-smiling in terror. "You found that, eh?"
"Yes." Said Kuzco. "Yes, I did, May I ask when the hell that was?"
"Oh sure. It'll most certainly make you less angry... I think."
"Continue."
"You, Kuzco the Emperor, are covered in the gory remains of your old advisor."
"Huh?" Kuzco's jaw dropped.
"Heh heh, now you're the one who's not quite awake." Continued Kaylan. "Yup, I kinda exploded Yzma-Kitty. You don't mind you?"
"Ummm... No."
"Well that's good. I was afraid you'd have me killed for getting revenge of her."
"For killing Yzma?"
"Yeah, I couldn't let her live. She made you distrust me."
"Well... I did give no another chance."
"Look how far that went. You stormed in here ready to call armageddon down upon me."
"True, but look at this mess you've gotten all over me."
"I'm truly sorry about that. It was nescessary to explode her that way."
"Why?"
"If you'd seen the look on her face when she realized what was going to happen, you would know what."
"You suprise me Kaylan." Said Kuzco. "When you come here, to the palace, you are humble and resigned to be a... how did you put it... a toy poodle?"
"I think I said that."
"Yeah, but then you show a fiery side, when you storm out, and your intelligence when you try to act like a servant. Alot of the other girls would have acted snobbish and said they were royalty. So then after that, you prove yourself hard working and with a good mind for money at the fish market, and fiercely loyal when you return to the palace."
"And ridiculously stupid when Yzma knocks me out."
"That too. But then you're forgiving when you take care of Yzma-Kitty and you show signs of being gullible when you're under alot of stress form work. When you yourself are wronged, you prove to be very creative, vengerful and non-chalant about murder."
"She would have murdered you."
"Yes, fiecely loyal again. Your personality is more complex than any worker, farmer, servant or indeed nobility, that I have ever met."
"Really?" Kyalan was not sure where this was going. "I don't think I understand what you're trying to say."
"Ummm... Okay, now I don't understand how to say what I am trying. Okay, here goes." Said Kuzco. "You fascinate me, Kaylan, I would be honoured if you would be my bride."
Moments passed as realization did across Kaylan's face.
"Oh no. Uh-uh, no way." She shook her head. "You're standing here covered head to toe in Yzma's guts saying you want to marry me because I fascinate you."
"Well... yeah."
"That's no reason to marry someone." Kaylan said indignantly. "Besides that, this is all way to fast."
"You're saying no... to an Emperor?"
"Yup. So fire me." Said Kaylan. "But that won't make me marry you either."
"So... what will?"
"First, you'd have to NOT be covered in Yzma-goop." Kaylan begain. "You would have to prove that you love me for other reasons, that we're compatible, that you like me as a person, that we share the same interests."
"Well, don't we?"
"I don't know. You would also have to sign a piece of paper stating that in no way am I a trophy wife and you would thus have not right to treat me as a prize you have won, no showing me off to your friends and no belittling me in front of visitors. No killing me because I show affections to others either. That one goes double. It would have to be more than a business deal or a curiousity." Said Kaylan. "I... can tell that you are already quite attracted to me physically, as such you may dispense witht he vantity. Puffing your chest out does not make you any more good looking."
"Anything else?"
"Apart from you loving me... I would have to love you back." Said Kaylan. "And making me love you would be one hard task."
"I'll do it. All of it." Proclaimed Kuzco. "Starting with the bath. Eeew! Yzma entrails STINK!"
"Then buh-bye now." Finished Kaylan. "I need to sleep or I'll be VERY cranky in the morning."
"Right." Said Kuzco. "Okay, I'm going. Goodbye."
Kuzco walked out of the door, but turned, sticking his head back through the door. "I love you..." He whispered, before walking away, down the hall and back to his side to the palace to get a bath.
******
Yzma's death was announced the next day.
"And so... it is with great sadness that we mourn the departure of our beloved crone... NOT!" Said Kuzco, in the announcing room. "Guys, Yzma is dead and I declare today to be a national party."
Kuzco fell silent for a moment, thinking.
"I would also like to introduce you to the new Emperor's Advisor, if you haven't already met her." He continued. "May I present to you, Kaylan Massiela Roeschan Viracocha, the new second in command."
Rula gave Kaylan in the wings an push, forcing her to stumble out in front of the crowd.
"Umm... Hi." Said Kaylan. "I'm Kaylan... long live Kuzco."
Overcome by stage fright, Kaylan ran off the stage.
"I hate doing that." She whispered to Rula. "I hate crowds.
Meanwhile Kuzco continued talking to the gathering.
"A national party, and as such, the feasting will begin for ALL at Seven tonight and..."
Kuzco was cut short by a wailing from the middle of the crowd.
"Ohh... huh huh huh. Wahhhhhh." Kronk grieved for Yzma. "Oh, *sniff* sorry, don't... wahhhh... don't mind me... huh huh huh... please continue."
"Someone get him." Said Kuzcom and this was Rula's cue. She hurried out and led Kronk away.
"Shhh, now now, It's okay. Shhh shhh, she's in a better place now... shhh..." Rula rocked Kronk in her arms, as hard as that seemed. "Shhhh, the pain is normal. Everything will be okay..."
"Ooohhh... but ohhh wahhhh... It hurts so bad... huh huh huh." Kronk wept. "She... didn't even say goodbye..."
"Don't you worry... I'll take care of you." Rula comforted. "I'm her for you."
"Thank you... Miss..."
"I'm Arula Perencho... and come now, you need to rest. Sleep will help."
Rula smiled, feeling a tender spot for Kronk as she led him to a place he could rest.