((A/N: Don't take me seriously on this. I am actually totally awake, which is rather odd and very scary, and I mean you no harm in writing this. If something pops out of the screen and hurts you, it is time to get a CAT-Scan. All HP characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and not me *pout*. But now that you can't sue me, I can be as demented as I want, and you can feel all helpless if you want to do anything about it. Wana know why? 'CUZ YA CAN'T!!!!!!!!1 *laughs insanely* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...HEHEHE...hehehehahaha...))
Canabalistic Monkeys And Flying VIPs:
Hermione is staying after potions class, because Snape has a problem with her incesantly raising her hand. She walks up to his desk.
Hermione: What is it you wanted to talk to me about, Proffesor?
Snape: I... I must confess.... I LOVE YOU, HERMIONE GRANGER!!!!!!
Hermione: EEEEEWWWWW!!!! gross!! Get away from me, you slime ball!
Snape traps Hermione under him, and starts kissing her passionately, when Pansy Parkinson walks in.
Pansy: AAAAAAAA!!!!! Snape's MY boyfriend!!!!! What are you doing, you silly whore??!!
Hermione manages to push Snape off of her, and runs to the other side of the room.
Snape: (in the wicked witch of the west voice) I'll get you, my pretty! And your little freind, too!! Bwahahahahah!!!
Pansy: Snape, you wanker! (runs over to him, and they kiss passionately.)
Hermione: EW! (cuddles her "little friend", which is an empty Mountain Dew bottle, close to her.) Don't look, little friend, don't look!
At this, Harry bursts in, and scoops up Hermione, and walks to the door.
Harry: EW! (clutching Hermione safely in his arms) Don't look, my little friends, don't look!!
Pansy and Snape are rolling around on the floor, doing rather disgusting, and X-rated things to eachother. Ron bursts in the room, with a canabalistic monkey!
Ron: Here, my Canablaistic Monkey named "Snillwigger" will stop them! (as is traditional, the theme song to Mighty Mouse plays, and everyone, even Snape and Pansy, cheers.)
Everyone: YAY!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!! CHEER!!!!!!
Snillwigger the canabalistic monkey, eats Snape's.. um... wand.. and Pansy's.. um.... *ahem*... tennis balls? ((I'm thinking of a size comparison, leemeelone.))
Harry is suddenly picked up by the flying canabalistic monkey named Snillwigger, and, being a Very Important Person, was carried to the Hospital Wing to make sure he was okay. Once they got there, everyone was cured, and their "little friend" (AKA: The empty Mountain Dew bottle) was pronounced dead!
Hermione: I will miss you so, little friend!!
Ron: I will miss you forever, lttlie friend!!
Harry: I shall miss you so, little friend!!!!
Everyone(for little friend was EVERYBODY's little friend): WE SHALL MISS YOU FOREVER, LITTLE FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Purple Blob in the middle of the room: I'm a sausage!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone looks at the blob oddly, and Dumbledore sqaushes it into oblivian. Everyone cheers, and Snape keels over, because Pansy slipped him a poison. It was actually a BIG bottle with a BIG sign on it that had the SKULL AND CROSS BONES on it. And of course, Snape being the potions master and all, he didn't notice A THING, the wanker, and drank it all down.
Everyone: YAY!!!! HOORAY!!!!!! CHEER!!!!!!!1
They all celebrated Snape's death, and mourned the loss of Little Friend. Malfoy sauntered into the room, and me, being the crazy fanfic author that I am, made him confess his undying love to... DUN DUN DA DUN!!!... RON WEASELY!!!!!!!
Malfoy: I love you Ron!! Will you mary me???!!!
Ron punches him in the nose.
Ron: DON'T CALL HERMIONE A MUDBLOOD!!
Malfoy falls on the floor, knocked out, and a slithy tove wanders into the room, and everybody runs around screaming, because noone knows what the hell it is.
Everybody: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!!!??????
Sirius Black skips in and points his wand at it.
Sirius: AVADA KEDAVRA!!!
Sirius is named King Of The Universe, and Moldy Voldie becomes his He-Bitch-Man-Whore-Wannabe-Man-Servant.
THE END
((A/N: Um... Just by reding this, you have automaticaly signed a contract that states "I, __________(your name there.) will not sue the writer of this Fan Fiction story for any and all mental problems that it may have induced or caused." So, um... THERE! Giveth me cheese, and thou shalt recieveth more story... eth...))
Canabalistic Monkeys And Flying VIPs:
Hermione is staying after potions class, because Snape has a problem with her incesantly raising her hand. She walks up to his desk.
Hermione: What is it you wanted to talk to me about, Proffesor?
Snape: I... I must confess.... I LOVE YOU, HERMIONE GRANGER!!!!!!
Hermione: EEEEEWWWWW!!!! gross!! Get away from me, you slime ball!
Snape traps Hermione under him, and starts kissing her passionately, when Pansy Parkinson walks in.
Pansy: AAAAAAAA!!!!! Snape's MY boyfriend!!!!! What are you doing, you silly whore??!!
Hermione manages to push Snape off of her, and runs to the other side of the room.
Snape: (in the wicked witch of the west voice) I'll get you, my pretty! And your little freind, too!! Bwahahahahah!!!
Pansy: Snape, you wanker! (runs over to him, and they kiss passionately.)
Hermione: EW! (cuddles her "little friend", which is an empty Mountain Dew bottle, close to her.) Don't look, little friend, don't look!
At this, Harry bursts in, and scoops up Hermione, and walks to the door.
Harry: EW! (clutching Hermione safely in his arms) Don't look, my little friends, don't look!!
Pansy and Snape are rolling around on the floor, doing rather disgusting, and X-rated things to eachother. Ron bursts in the room, with a canabalistic monkey!
Ron: Here, my Canablaistic Monkey named "Snillwigger" will stop them! (as is traditional, the theme song to Mighty Mouse plays, and everyone, even Snape and Pansy, cheers.)
Everyone: YAY!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!! CHEER!!!!!!
Snillwigger the canabalistic monkey, eats Snape's.. um... wand.. and Pansy's.. um.... *ahem*... tennis balls? ((I'm thinking of a size comparison, leemeelone.))
Harry is suddenly picked up by the flying canabalistic monkey named Snillwigger, and, being a Very Important Person, was carried to the Hospital Wing to make sure he was okay. Once they got there, everyone was cured, and their "little friend" (AKA: The empty Mountain Dew bottle) was pronounced dead!
Hermione: I will miss you so, little friend!!
Ron: I will miss you forever, lttlie friend!!
Harry: I shall miss you so, little friend!!!!
Everyone(for little friend was EVERYBODY's little friend): WE SHALL MISS YOU FOREVER, LITTLE FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Purple Blob in the middle of the room: I'm a sausage!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone looks at the blob oddly, and Dumbledore sqaushes it into oblivian. Everyone cheers, and Snape keels over, because Pansy slipped him a poison. It was actually a BIG bottle with a BIG sign on it that had the SKULL AND CROSS BONES on it. And of course, Snape being the potions master and all, he didn't notice A THING, the wanker, and drank it all down.
Everyone: YAY!!!! HOORAY!!!!!! CHEER!!!!!!!1
They all celebrated Snape's death, and mourned the loss of Little Friend. Malfoy sauntered into the room, and me, being the crazy fanfic author that I am, made him confess his undying love to... DUN DUN DA DUN!!!... RON WEASELY!!!!!!!
Malfoy: I love you Ron!! Will you mary me???!!!
Ron punches him in the nose.
Ron: DON'T CALL HERMIONE A MUDBLOOD!!
Malfoy falls on the floor, knocked out, and a slithy tove wanders into the room, and everybody runs around screaming, because noone knows what the hell it is.
Everybody: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!!!??????
Sirius Black skips in and points his wand at it.
Sirius: AVADA KEDAVRA!!!
Sirius is named King Of The Universe, and Moldy Voldie becomes his He-Bitch-Man-Whore-Wannabe-Man-Servant.
THE END
((A/N: Um... Just by reding this, you have automaticaly signed a contract that states "I, __________(your name there.) will not sue the writer of this Fan Fiction story for any and all mental problems that it may have induced or caused." So, um... THERE! Giveth me cheese, and thou shalt recieveth more story... eth...))