3.
With a sigh, Tammy pushed herself into a sitting position and finally climbed out of bed. She padded across the room in her pyjamas and bare feet to open the curtains. Although she had anxiously awaited Terry's return, she could not help feeling, as she stared blindly out of the window, that she should be happier. This was the day she had been waiting for the whole time Terry had been away - she felt she should be excited, overjoyed, but she had to admit that she was more nervous than anything else.
Just then, the sound of the phone ringing broke through her reverie and she hurried to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Tamara. It's Mom."
"Oh, hey, Mom - how are you?"
"I think I should be the one asking you that, but I'm fine. How are you feeling?" she asked anxiously.
"Okay, I guess." she answered, sitting down on the edge of the bed, "But then I only just got up."
"I feel awful going off on holiday and leaving you on your own, you know, dear? Are you sure you'll be all right?"
"Of course, Mom; I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself. And besides, I won't be on my own - Terry comes home today, remember? Then we're going to Auntie Sue's and some of the others are joining us next week ....."
"Well, yes." fussed her mother, "But it won't be the same as having family around ....."
"Please, Mom," Tammy interrupted wearily, "I see where this is headed. I know we're not married, but Terry is family just the same - don't start today."
"I'm sorry, dear, I won't say anything more. But I have to ask - have you had that little talk with Terry yet?"
"No, Mom, I haven't. Not yet."
"Don't you think you should?"
"I will, soon." she said, beginning to feel a little impatient.
"Well, okay. Anyway, your dad wants to talk to you. You make sure you look after yourself, Tamara."
"I will." she said obediently, "Have a nice time."
"Thank you, dear. Here's your dad."
"Hello, sweetie - how's my little girl?"
"Hi, Daddy. I'm fine." she said, smiling in spite of herself.
"Good, good. Looking after yourself?"
"Don't you start - you're as bad as Mom!" she exclaimed, hearing his deep answering laugh.
"She just worries, Tammy. We both do. I know you want to spend time with Terry, but you should spend more time with us when he's away. I don't like to think of you rattling around that place on your own."
"I just needed some time to think, Daddy. We'll come visit when you get back, okay?" she promised.
"Okay, it's a deal. Princess, I've got to go now - your mother's panicking about where she left the tickets. I'll talk to you soon though - we'll call when we get settled in at the hotel."
"Okay. Have a nice time."
"Oh, we'll definitely try! You take care, you hear?"
"I hear ya! Bye, Daddy."
Tammy hung up the receiver and tilted her head back, drawing in a long, slow breath before making her way towards the bathroom. Stretching slightly, she caught sight of her reflection in the full length mirror of the wardrobe and stopped in her tracks. She had been wondering if she could put off her 'little talk' with Terry, as her mom had put it, at least until after Valentine's Day, but she was not going to be able to pull that off. If she knew Terry, they wouldn't be out of the airport before he'd be asking questions. She could see from the mirror that the changes would be enough for him to notice - she was slightly paler than usual and was beginning to show signs of tiredness. However, it was not these details which had forced her to lean against the wall for support as her knees suddenly became weak and a few tears escaped and ran down her cheeks. As she had stretched her arms above her head, her pyjama top had risen up revealing a couple of inches of her stomach which, through its slight swell, served as a reminder of her cause for concern.
She had not been feeling well for a few days before Terry had left and he had made her promise to go to see the doctor if she didn't get any better. She had duly promised and so, after holding out for a few weeks as her symptoms were sporadic and had not seemed serious, she went to the doctor who had told her she was pregnant. She had been stunned, but not as stunned as when he had told her she was almost two months along. At first she had just stared at him in disbelieving silence, but when he had gently asked if it was unplanned, she had laughed and then burst into tears. At twenty-four, she wasn't a naive school-girl, but she still felt that she wasn't ready to have a child; there was so much she still wanted to do. When she had recovered from the initial shock, she had felt excited, but her anxiety about how Terry would react had quickly taken over.
While she knew he had a right to know, Tammy didn't think it was something she could tell him over the phone as it was not a subject which they had discussed with any seriousness and she had no idea how he would feel about it. Since she had found out, her rationality also seemed to have abandoned her. She had almost managed to convince herself that Terry would be horrified and would want nothing to do with her, even though deep down she knew he would never do that to her. Nonetheless, for two months she had been subjected to an emotional rollercoaster, alternately wishing she could talk to Terry in person and feeling terrified by the thought. As a result of going unanswered, her fears had escalated and she had found herself confiding in her parents as she had desperately needed to talk to someone. While they had offered support, making her feel a little better, Tammy could sense her mother was somewhat disappointed that she had not gotten married first. This, coupled with the fact that her mother also was not exactly approving of Terry and his job and subsequent travelling, had only served to increase her worries.
As she leaned against the wall, Tammy slid slowly to the floor and buried her face in her hands.
"What am I going to do?" she sobbed.
She remained in that position for a few minutes, until her tears slowed and finally stopped. As she tried to get her breathing back under control, a wave of nausea washed over her and she groaned, struggling to her feet and only just making it to the bathroom in time.
Having showered and dressed in loose fitting navy combat pants, a white T-shirt and baby blue v-neck sweater; Tammy felt a little better. Her stomach had stopped doing backflips and she had pulled herself together as much as she could. She was just pulling her long hair into a loose ponytail when the phone rang again.
*****