11.
Eventually Tammy's tears subsided and she realised that she must be hurting Terry. She tried to carefully sit up, but he held her back.
"Stay." said Terry simply.
"I don't want to hurt you." she explained.
"You couldn't." he answered, though the truth was that he had never suffered so much pain in his life before. However, not for anything in the world would have had her move now. "How long?" he asked, looking at her stomach in wonder.
Following his gaze, she knew what he meant and covered his hand with hers, "I'm three months pregnant."
His eyes widened and he seemed lost for words for a moment.
"Did ..... did you know?" he asked.
Tammy shook her head, "I had no idea. I only found out a few weeks ago - I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't on the phone ....."
"It's okay," he soothed, "I understand." He gave a shaky sigh and closed his eyes, his own despair showing through. "I can't believe I could have ..... I could have been a d-dad ....."
"You ARE." said Tammy firmly, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek with trembling lips.
"But I won't get to s-see ..... my ..... OUR baby." he said in disconsolation, "Or know if it's ...... a girl or a b-boy."
He turned away, trying to hide his grief, and it was Tammy's turn to try to be the strong one. She wrapped gentle arms around him and just held him; she knew she had no words to comfort him and could only hope he knew she would be there for him, no matter what happened.
"I love you so much, Terry." she whispered, "I'll always love you."
Suddenly, a light tap came at the door and the doctor peeked into the room.
"Sorry to interrupt, but another doctor would like to take a look at Terry and then the police would like a word."
"The police!" exclaimed Tammy, standing up, "An interrogation is hardly what he needs ....."
"It's o-okay, Tammy." he said placatingly, before wearily replacing his mask.
"No, it's not!" she argued.
"Under normal circumstances, we would not allow it." informed the doctor, "However, they are hoping to press charges against the other party involved in the crash - he failed a breathilizer test."
"He was drunk!" gasped Tammy, "And he wasn't injured?"
"Broken arm, minor injuries - he got off lightly." said the doctor in disgust, "Doesn't seem fair, does it?"
"It isn't." Tammy shook her head, "It's not fair."
The doctor came and took her arm, "Come on, dear, lets go get you a nice cup of coffee." she advised, "And you'll be back here in no time."
Tammy allowed herself to be led from the room, before turning to the doctor.
"Doctor ....." she began.
"Matthews." supplied the woman.
"Doctor Matthews, are you sure Terry is as badly hurt as you said? He was talking to me and he seemed ..... well, he didn't seem like he would ..... you know?"
The doctor heard the note of desperation in the redhead's voice and tried to explain gently. "He is a strong guy and, if you don't mind me saying so, quite stubborn! He doesn't like to admit he's in pain, but the surgery did take a lot out of him. Like I said, the test is the next day or so. I don't mean to upset you, I just don't want to raise your hopes too high too soon. Don't give up hope, but don't be under any false illusions about how serious his condition is."
"I understand." nodded Tammy sadly, "I just never thought I'd have to tell him like that."
"Tell him what?" Doctor Matthews asked, having seen how upset both her patient and this young woman had been.
"He's been away for two months, working, and while he was gone I found out I'm pregnant." Tammy explained.
Unsure of how to respond under the circumstances, the doctor made no immediate reply. After a long pause, she placed a comforting hand on the young woman's arm.
"I'm sorry this accident had to happen at a time when the two of you should be celebrating, but I'd still like to offer you both my congratulations."
With mixed emotions, Tammy thanked the doctor, but her attention was quickly diverted by an angry outburst in the reception area. Glancing in the direction the noise was coming from, Tammy saw a young man in a dark and obviously expensive suit, his tie loosened, shirt sleeves rolled up and his jacket swung over one shoulder, arguing with two police officers in uniform.
"Lemme go!" he was shouting, "You probably rigged that test!"
Tammy realised from the way he was swaying from side to side and slurring his words that he was drunk and, suddenly suspicious, she moved closer to get a better look. Then she saw the cast on his arm which had not even fully set and cast her mind back to the words of the doctor, a shadow crossing her face.
"That's him, isn't it?" she asked the doctor, "The one who's responsible for all this?"
"I don't think you should ....."
But the doctor's reluctance to answer told Tammy everything she needed to know and she headed straight for the cause of the disturbance.
"I hope you can live with yourself." she stated, interrupting one of the police officers mid-speech.
"Who the hell are you?" he exclaimed in surprise, his gaze roving warily over the now fiery redhead in front of him whose eyes, although a little red and swollen, were blazing with anger.
However, before she could reply, he turned away and adressed the police officers again.
"Listen, you don't understand ..... surely I can't have been that far over the limit? ..... I swear it'll never happen again. If I get charged, I'll lose my license, my JOB, everything ....."
"EVERYTHING!" Tammy laughed bitterly, "You have no idea, do you? So what if you lose your job? Doesn't look like you'll starve any time soon. So what if you lose your license? Take the bus!"
"You have no right to judge me - this has nothing to do with you!" he snapped.
"I WISH!" Tammy yelled, making him actually take a step back. "I'm sorry if I seem unsympathetic, but if anyone's entitled to judge you, it sure as hell is ME! It's thanks to you my boyfriend ....." she broke off and then quickly corrected herself, "..... my fiancé is lying in a hospital bed. He could DIE because of you ....."
"What?" the man looked stunned, "Someone ..... someone else was hurt? I didn't know ..... I swear I didn't know ....."
"You're complaining about losing a job - I could lose something far more important than ANY job; I could lose the person I LOVE." she said, her voice wavering a little.
She noticed an expression which mixed disbelief and fear with shock cross the young man's face and he began to shake. Awkwardly due to the cast on his arm, he tried to find his packet of cigarettes in his jacket pocket. With great difficulty, he managed to finally place a cigarette between his trembling lips and, after many attempts, he lit it. No sooner had he done so, however, than Tammy reached out and plucked it from his mouth, dropping it to the floor and crushing it violently beneath her foot.
"Don't smoke that in here!" she exclaimed in disgust, "Haven't you done enough damage without trying to give my baby cancer too?"
"Baby?" he frowned hesitantly, glancing around; but even as he did so, the sparkle of her engagement ring caught his attention as her left hand drifted to her stomach protectively and he shook his head. "Oh, God, no ....."
Tammy bit her lip and nodded, "Yes; so I may not only lose the man I love, but the father of my child." She could no longer hold back her tears and the man looked on in horror as she broke down. "Something for you to think about when you're scanning the job ads." she managed wryly as Doctor Matthews, who had allowed her to get some of her pent-up emotion off her chest, now hurried to her side.
"You must wish it was me - in that bed." the man said, covering his face with his hands, "I know I do."
Tammy pulled away from the doctor for a second and shook her head, tears staining her cheeks, "No, I don't really. I wish it wasn't Terry, but I couldn't wish anyone else there. I know that sounds like a load of crap, but I'm not trying to look like a 'good' person - right now, I hate you; make no mistake about it, I hate you, I can't help it. But no matter what, you're someone's boyfriend, father, son, brother, whatever ..... I know how awful I feel, how sick to my stomach, and I couldn't wish this on my worst enemy."
Even though she had shown him a certain degree of compassion in her sincere answer, in not wishing him harm, Tammy could not have said anything else which would have crushed him so effectively, even though that was not her intention. With nothing else to say, she simply turned and left him with the two somewhat shocked police officers, to whom he offered no further resistence, instead slumping against the wall and tilting his head back in despair.
*****