Mergirl: Callista's Story
By Ambassador Cara Jade
Part 3: Walk Away
Papa didn't like it. That much I could tell by the tone of his voice, audible
through the wall. He and Master Altis sat in the office, performing a careful dance
of words over my fate, as if I was a business deal:
"Mister Nogati, your daughter has a great talent for the Force. If she was
trained, she could become a powerful Jedi who would protect the people--what
greater calling is there?"
"I understand your intentions, Master Altis. Unfortunately, I cannot allow it
to happen. Right now, our planet's economy is at an all-time low, and we herders
are taking the brunt of it. I need every hand I can get right now. I am not as
young as I once was, nor is her uncle. Her brother will be enlisting in the
Republic Navy next year. If she leaves as well, there will be no one to shoulder
our business, which has been our lifeblood for ten years. You understand, I'm
sure."
I sighed and dropped my arms between my legs. When I'd introduced
Master Altis in the bay, Papa had been reserved, at best. I'd always known that
he wanted me to stay, but it had never been my intention to actually do it. His
dream for me was to keep Uncle Claine's business alive and kicking until my kids
could do the same.
Djinn paused. "Mister Nogati, how old is Callista?"
"Seventeen last month."
"And she's had a very troubled childhood, yes?"
I inhaled sharply. How in the world?
"She told you that?" Papa said, a tone of resentment threading his words.
"In a way. I could see it."
"Using your little mind tricks, I bet." A pause.
"Perhaps it's for Callista to choose her own path."
There was a silence, rescued only by Papa's squeaking chair. After
several seconds, the squeaking stopped. "My daughter is old enough to choose
for herself. But I doubt she will go with you."
Like hell I won't, I thought.
"She may see things differently." Djinn replied.
"Master Altis...I don't think you understand. I don't want Callista to be a
Jedi. It just isn't the plan I have in mind for her."
I thumped my head against the wall and groaned inwardly. Papa knew
how much I wanted this, and he knew how slim my chances were of actually
being able to.
"Let me speak with Callista about this tonight. Come back tomorrow
morning, and we will have your answer."
I sighed again. Great. He was going to take tonight to try and talk me out
of it, and he was going to play the guilt card. Remember your dream I thought to
myself. Don't let him sway you.
I heard the sound of standing up. Djinn Altis said, "Very well. I will call on
you in the morning." Footsteps, then the door slid open. Djinn stepped out, and
walked past me, his head high. I stared up at him, and he flicked his gaze
downward to meet mine. Don't worry I heard his voice say in my head.
Everything will turn out as it should.
I smiled tightly and nodded. Djinn walked past me, and I returned my gaze
to the office door. Papa stood with one hand on the frame, staring after the Jedi.
He looked at me. "Don't for a moment think that I'm going to let you leave with
that lunatic." He said.
"He said it's my choice." I countered evenly.
"He's not your father."
I sighed, growing tired of his desire to control my life.
"Come in here," he said. "We'll be fair and civil about this."
I stood up and followed him into the office. He sat behind the desk and I
sat in front of him. He cleared his throat. "Callista, I know that you and I have
grown apart since your mother died. And I regret that, I really do. I wish I could
give you the freedom that I once promised you, but with the Chancellor's tariffs,
and business failing, I really have no choice but to keep you here."
"Papa," I said, leaning forward. "This is everything I've ever wanted since I
was a little girl."
"I know, Callie. But if you leave everything we've worked so hard for the
last ten years..." He waved his hand and clicked his tongue, at a loss for words.
"Callie, I need you here."
"I know this is the right path for me. A week ago, I felt the Force inside me.
It saved my life. Last night, I had a dream about Djinn Altis. Do you really think
that all this is just coincidence?"
He was silent, his eyes downcast. I reached out and took his had. "I love
you, Papa, but I know that this is my destiny."
He looked at his and under mine, and withdrew it. Sighing, he stood up.
"Fine. You want to go, go. But, if you leave here, if you walk out on this family,
you do it for good. If you leave with that man, I don't want you coming back.
Ever." He walked out, adding, "Make your decision on that ultimatum."
I didn't sleep that night. I sat at the bow of the ark, looking out over the
sea. The guardrail post was cool against the side of my face. The stars reflected
on the water, distorted by the restless ripples. I was lost in thought--would Papa
really kick me out? And would I have the heart to go through with what I knew
had to be done? Memories flowed through me, pain and bittersweet joys and
dreams. I remembered a better time, before Mama had died, when everyone had
been happy. It was amazing to think of a young girl on a beach and to realize that
we were the same person. It was amazing to know that my father now was the
same father that had helped me with my homework before we'd left for the sea,
and that my brother and I used to wrestle in the surf and that my sisters would
always be around. They were all the same people.
But not really.
At four hours past midnight, I made my decision. I went to my room and
started packing a bag.
I was still packing when Josef knocked on my door. I didn't look up as he
entered. "Did I wake you?" I asked, swallowing.
Josef shrugged. "It's okay." He looked at my bag. "You're leaving." He
said.
I nodded. "Djinn Altis is a Jedi, and he wants to train me." I looked at Josef
and forced a smile.
He nodded. "When do you come back?"
I felt the fake smile melt and slide off my face, and I turned away. Maybe if
it dripped into my bag, I could take it with me. I touched my hair to surreptitiously
brush tears from my eyes. "Um...I don't. I'm not coming back." I looked back at
him and saw the surprise in his face. Before he could ask, I explained: "Papa
says that if I leave, he won't take me back." I laughed ruefully. "He's kicking me
out."
Josef sat on the bed next to me. "You're kidding. You're really doing it? I
don't think I could."
I close my bag and rested my head on his shoulder. "I wasn't sure I could,
either, but I cant turn away from this if it's what I'm meant to be. Everything that's
happened for the last week has happened for a reason, and it's all been leading
up to this. If I turn my back now--" I sighed. I couldn't finish that sentence.
Unexpectedly, Josef turned and hugged me. "Promise me you won't
disappear. At least write, or call." I heard a sudden waver in his voice, a new fear
that he didn't know how to cope with.
"Okay," I said, allowing the embrace to last just a few more breaths before
pulling away. I stood up. "Okay, um...I don't know if I can face Papa. I'm just
going to leave a note and go." Even as I said it, despair flooded through me, so
much that I felt weighted down every time I breathed. My eyes stung with
emotion. I grabbed a sheet of flimsiplast and a stylus. As my brother watched, I
wrote only a few words, but self-explanatory:
Papa, I've made my decision. I love you. Lissy.
"Come on," Josef said. "You should leave before he's awake to object."
We crept through the ark as quietly as possible, masking our movements
behind the creaks of the ark as it released yesterday's heat like a saturated
sponge. Shadows played on the walls with the reflections of the water's ripples.
Josef swung himself over the railing of the hold's skeletal stairs. He
reached his arms up for my bag. I tossed it down to him and followed him over
the rail. I landed steadily on the deck and jumped into the speeder. Josef
punched the door release. Before us, the wall disappeared like the destruction of
my final barrier between me and my destiny.
The engine kicked in, lathering the water behind us. Josef threw the
speeder into hear and we streaked through the water, away from my home. I
didn't dare look back, or I would change my mind. I hung my head and squeezed
my eyes shut, brushing my cheeks to wipe away the sea spray that dotted my
cheeks. Perhaps it wasn't the sea touching my face after all.
We drove for only a few minutes, but it seemed like hours to me. Djinn
Altis had parked his boat in the cove we'd been shearing the kelp in. Josef killed
the engine and we idled softly to the side of the boat. I tossed my bag over my
shoulder and stood up. Josef stood too, and turned to face me. I looked at him
for an instant before throwing my arms around him. He hugged me tightly, but
only for the briefest of moments. He looked at me and sniffed. I stared back at
him. "I'll be back. I promise. Without another word, I turned and climbed up the
ladder and onto the deck of Master Altis' ship.
Josef watched me ascend, then sat down in the speeder. I watched as he
drove away, until all I could see was the spray of his wake.
"Glad you could make it."
I swung around. Djinn Altis stood behind me, hands folded.
We docked in the port city of Geramlia an hour later, leaving the boat
behind. "Where are we going?" I asked.
Djinn looked up into the early morning sky. "Into the stars,"
I raised my eyes and looked up as well, at the fading diamonds dotting the
waning darkness. I'd never been higher than the cliffs near our old beach house.
The sudden idea of being among the stars enchanted me. A smile spread across
my face. The streets of Geramlia only trickled with the flow of people in the
early morning. It was, after all, only four and a half hours into the day. We made
our way quietly, keeping to ourselves. I followed Djinn like an obedient pet, and
he led me to a docking bay in the center of town.
There, I saw the most beautiful ship I'd ever laid eyes on.
Small, sleek and streamlined, like a cy'een calf, the little ship stood like a
deity before me, the sunlight cresting over the skyline and bouncing off the silver
curves. "Wow," I breathed in awe. Never before had I seen a ship like that, at
least up close.
"You like it?" Djinn said, striding towards it and keying the hatch open. I
reached up and stroked the hull. The metal was smooth, cool under my hand.
"It's beautiful," I said. What kind is it?"
"Just a lander. We're going up to a larger ship. The Chu'unthor."
"Chu'unthor? I repeated.
"Yes. Your new home." He said, and disappeared up the ramp into the
lander.
My new home. Suddenly I felt an infinite sadness, at the thought that my
oceans would no longer be home to me. I looked through the alcove that led out
of the docking bay, at the meager view of the sea afforded between buildings and
pedestrians.
Let it go, I thought, and turned away before I could convince myself to
change my mind.
We lifted off ten minutes later. Djinn guided the ship over the ocean, still
dark at daybreak. I sat in the copilot's seat, my hands clenching the arms of the
chair.
"Do you see this, Callista?" Djinn gestured to the wide ocean before us.
"All you're life you've been surrounded by life and death in the Force. This entire
planet is alive. The cy'een, the coral, the fish...it all has its place in the Force. It's
my lot in life to make young people like yourself learn to see, hear, feel, smell,
taste it." He glanced at me. "In time, you will learn to feel the life in everything.
You will be a Jedi."
I felt like I'd been yanked into the air to a higher altitude than I'd ever been
before. It was breathtaking, exhilarating. I sat forward, closer to the viewport, to
see, to sense, to know the ocean, my home, in a way I'd never imagined. I
strained, tried to find that place I'd been at a week ago, that place where I had
moved the ice.
"Close your eyes," Djinn said.
I looked at him, confused. "But how can I..." I closed my mouth,
reconsidering, and turned back tot he viewport, and closed my eyes.
"Now breathe. You're tense. Release that tension. You can't grasp one
thing if you're holding too tightly to another."
I took a deep breath, so deep that its wind swept up all my doubt and
demons, and expelled them in a long sigh.
"Now reach." he urged. "Send your mind into the water. Become the
water."
I pictured diving into the water, disappearing and transforming.
LifeDeathExistenceSymbianceSurvival
I felt them all...all at once! Something I'd only dreamed of, but for the first
time, I knew the sea was alive. The last traces of atmosphere melted behind the
ship, leaving us to the cold infinity of space. I had to hold my breath to retain my
surprise, but it soon bubbled over. Djinn looked over at me and chuckled. He'd
seen my reaction, no doubt the same one he'd seen a dozen times before.
"You've never seen space before," he observed.
"Not without my feet on the sand," I replied. "That's nothing compared to
this." I looked all around me, and every angle was dotted with stars--everywhere,
like someone had shattered ice over a black blanket. What had once been my
entire existence was now only a tiny sliver of blue light along the edge of the
viewport, insignificant in the vast expanse. The moons glowed ominously like
mystical orbs. Directly ahead of us, a long, flat craft hovered, almost invisible. It
was huge--it looked for all the world like a row of tall skyscrapers laid on their
sides. Lights glowed all throughout it, signs of life. I sat forward in awe. "Is that--"
"--the Chu'unthor." Djinn finished. "The wanderer. A ship with no
destination." He nodded towards it. "There you will learn the way of the Jedi."
We touched down in one of the docking bays. As I looked out the
viewport, I saw two figures waiting on the platform, a man and a woman.
"The young woman down there is my padawan." Djinn said. "She'll show
you around."
"Padawan?" I repeated. I'd never heard the word before.
"A student of mine that has been with me a very long while. There are
many masters here, and many padawans, but even more students. One day you
may become a padawan yourself." He powered down the lander and stood up.
"Well, let's go."
I shouldered my bag and followed him to the hatch. My stomach fluttered;
I was both nervous and excited. Djinn glanced at me. "Fear leads to the dark
side, Callista." He said.
I took a deep breath. "Okay."
"Another thing--from now on, it would be better if you said 'Yes, Master.'"
I nodded. "Yes, Master."
He keyed open the hatch and the ramp lowered. We walked down and
met the two Jedi students.
The woman was shorter, and looked a few years older than I was. Her hair
was long, straight and brown, shot through with acid streaks of blond. Blue eyes
sparkled from a clear freckled face.
The man beside her was human as well, at least at first glance. He was
tall, his hair black and spiky. his expression was calm, yet open and friendly. But
his eyes were very strange. The violet irises, rather than circling his pupils,
radiated outward like animal stripes across the whites of his eyes. I wondered if
he was part alien or if it was due to some birth defect.
"Welcome home, Master." The man said. His voice was a low tenor, full of
respect. He and the woman half-bowed, and Djinn returned the gesture.
"Thank you, Soonta." He turned to me. "This is my new student, Callista
Nogati. Callista, I'd like you to meet Kasidy Ostin and Soonta Ley'n."
I stuck my hand out and shook with each of them. "Hi. It's great to meet
you."
"Likewise, Callista." Kasidy said. Though shorter than I was, she carried
herself in such a way that she seemed my height. She seemed very confident,
very sure of herself. I was aware of how I looked next to this well-kept, pretty
woman in my ragged homespuns and sun-baked hair.
"Master," Soonta said. "Captain Graim wished to speak with you as soon
as you returned."
Djinn nodded. "We can't keep the good captain waiting. Kasidy, take
Callista on the grand tour, and to the meal hall for breakfast."
"Yes, Master." She smiled warmly at me and took my arm. "Let's go."
Kasidy showed me to the starboard wing of the leviathan ship first, where
the students were quartered. "You'll need to be careful for a while. It's very easy
to get lost here."
"I can imagine," I replied, keeping in step beside her. "How long should it
take me to learn my way around?"
I don't know, how's your sense of direction?" She asked in return.
"Not too shabby."
"A couple of days, maybe a week, tops. You'll do fine."
We strode through the corridors o the starboard wing, Kasidy explaining
things as we went. "Classes begin at oh-six-hundred hours. I recommend you
wake up and hour or so early so you don't fall asleep during lectures. Since you
have no prior training, they'll probably start you in the beginning courses, which
help you feel out your place in the Force and find what your specialties are."
"Specialties?" I asked.
"Every Jedi has an aspect of the Force which they master particularly well.
Telepathy, telekinesis, healing...there are many."
The outer hall was a floor-to-ceiling viewport. I looked outside to the vista
of Chad and the glimmer of Icari behind her. Papa was probably just waking up
and finding me gone. "What's your specialty?" I asked.
"I can sense people's emotions," she said. And as a stared out the
viewport, she appeared outside, seeming to stand on the North Pole of the
planet. And I'm learning projection under Master Altis.
"Whoa," I took a step back from the viewport and looked at Kasidy as she
looked right next to me. She stood very still, her eyes half-closed. "Weird." I said.
Kasidy opened her eyes. "But it can be done. That's what you're here to
learn." She made a gesture with one hand. "Let's keep walking. More play can
come later."
We kept walking, and Kasidy continued in her tour. Looking around, I was
surprised at how few people I actually saw. "Where is everyone?" I finally asked.
"Most everyone is in the mess hall, or in their quarters meditating. It's early
yet." Kasidy answered. I glanced at my wrist chronometer and was surprised to
see that it was only five hours past midnight.
"Here's your room," Kasidy said, indicating a door with the number 51516
etched on its face. She keyed the door open and ushered me inside. The room
was small, but accommodating, with a bedroom and adjacent refresher station.
Dimly set glowbulbs hovered in each corner, outbrightened by the light from the
viewport. The furnishings were all uniform gray or black. The bed rested in a low
alcove, perpendicular to the window. I set my bag on the dresser and sat on the
edge of the bed.
" I said, clutching the sideboard and taking in my surroundings.
Kasidy leaned against the wall and folded her arms, casting her eyes
about as if inspecting the room. "This is your place. You can do whatever you like
with it." She tossed her hair over her shoulder. I'm just a few doors down, in
51513. I spend a lot of time in there, or in the lounge if you need me for
anything." She looked at me and straightened. "Come on, there's more to see.
Leave your bag here."
Before breakfast, Kasidy showed me the lounge and the bridge, and
introduced me to Graim Starrunner, native to Tatooine and the captain of the
Chu'unthor. I had never heard of Tatooine, but "Captain Graim," as he liked to be
called, was nice enough. He was tall, dark, in his mid-forties, and carried a
distinguished air about him that suggested military. When he shook my hand, his
grip was strong and confident.
After that, Kasidy showed me to the mess hall for breakfast. Other
students began filing in to join the people already there. I had never seen so
many alien species in one place. I was familiar with the handful of Chadra-Fan,
some of whom looked as lost as I felt. But there we countless others whose
names I couldn't place or begin to imagine where they came from.
Kasidy took my arm. "Come on," she said. "I'll introduce you to some of
the other students."
We lined up for our food, behind a red twi'lek woman who smiled as we
approached. Her face was sharp, angled and beautiful, especially with her large
black eyes contrasting her crimson skin. "Hey, Kass," she said, then glanced at
me. "New student?"
Kasidy nodded. "This is Callista Nogati, from Chad Three. Callista, I'd like
you to meet Zara Guyenn."
Zara nodded, then pushed back the long sleeves of her robe. "Nice to
meet you," she said, and frowned. "You seem a little old to be beginning training.
Have you had any other instruction?"
I shook my head. "No, I'm just starting."
Zara shrugged. "Well, you seem smart. I bet you'll catch up quickly." She
flashed a brilliantly white smile. "Let's all sit together at breakfast. I want to learn
all about you, Callista."
Kasidy dropped me off at my first ever Jedi class. It was a little strange,
because even though I couldn't hope to guess the ages of the alien students, I
felt like the oldest person there. The human students were all under ten years
old.
But halfway through the class, a teenage boy about my age stumbled in,
and everyone turned and looked at him, including Master Altis. The boy stood
motionless for a moment, looking back at all the faces that stared at him. Then
his face cracked in a grin and he shrugged. "What?" and he flopped into the chair
beside me.
The students all returned their attention to Master Altis, who continued his
lecture, seemingly unconcerned with having been interrupted.
The boy leaned over to me. "So, do you think I was too conspicuous?"
I glanced at him briefly. "Oh, um...no. Not at all."
He laughed quietly. "I'm Ilios. You're new, aren't you?"
I nodded. "Callista. This is my first day." Turning my head, I got my first
good look at the newcomer, Ilios. He was blond with green eyes that flashed with
electric vibrancy. He smiled a row of straight white teeth.
"Welcome to the Chu'unthor, then." He said.
I smiled. "Thanks."
We sat in silence and listened to the lesson for a good hour. I was
surprised that the younger kids sat still, but they did, listening quietly as Master
Altis spoke about "the basics:" The living Force versus the unifying Force. I
wasn't aware of different parts of the Force; I'd thought it had been one big
power, one-dimensional. I was very naive, then, to think that anything about the
Force was that simple.
Ilios walked with me to the next class, which we shared. I learned more
about him, then. Ilios Larptiwa was 18, and native to Alderaan. He had been here
a month, so he was just past my level.
As we talked, somebody plowed into us from behind, knocking Ilios to the
ground. "Hey!" Ilios grunted. I grabbed his arm to help him up, but he waved me
away. "Watch where you're going, Cerante!"
The kid turned and offered a snide smirk. "Right of way, street rat. You
were right in my way." Then he turned and kept walking.
"Who was that?" I asked.
Ilios shook his head. "Cerante Getufsko. He comes from the upper crust of
Alderaan society. I don't. He hates me for it."
"That doesn't make any sense." I said as we resumed walking.
"Don't worry about it. It's my problem." He said, waving a dismissive hand.
By Ambassador Cara Jade
Part 3: Walk Away
Papa didn't like it. That much I could tell by the tone of his voice, audible
through the wall. He and Master Altis sat in the office, performing a careful dance
of words over my fate, as if I was a business deal:
"Mister Nogati, your daughter has a great talent for the Force. If she was
trained, she could become a powerful Jedi who would protect the people--what
greater calling is there?"
"I understand your intentions, Master Altis. Unfortunately, I cannot allow it
to happen. Right now, our planet's economy is at an all-time low, and we herders
are taking the brunt of it. I need every hand I can get right now. I am not as
young as I once was, nor is her uncle. Her brother will be enlisting in the
Republic Navy next year. If she leaves as well, there will be no one to shoulder
our business, which has been our lifeblood for ten years. You understand, I'm
sure."
I sighed and dropped my arms between my legs. When I'd introduced
Master Altis in the bay, Papa had been reserved, at best. I'd always known that
he wanted me to stay, but it had never been my intention to actually do it. His
dream for me was to keep Uncle Claine's business alive and kicking until my kids
could do the same.
Djinn paused. "Mister Nogati, how old is Callista?"
"Seventeen last month."
"And she's had a very troubled childhood, yes?"
I inhaled sharply. How in the world?
"She told you that?" Papa said, a tone of resentment threading his words.
"In a way. I could see it."
"Using your little mind tricks, I bet." A pause.
"Perhaps it's for Callista to choose her own path."
There was a silence, rescued only by Papa's squeaking chair. After
several seconds, the squeaking stopped. "My daughter is old enough to choose
for herself. But I doubt she will go with you."
Like hell I won't, I thought.
"She may see things differently." Djinn replied.
"Master Altis...I don't think you understand. I don't want Callista to be a
Jedi. It just isn't the plan I have in mind for her."
I thumped my head against the wall and groaned inwardly. Papa knew
how much I wanted this, and he knew how slim my chances were of actually
being able to.
"Let me speak with Callista about this tonight. Come back tomorrow
morning, and we will have your answer."
I sighed again. Great. He was going to take tonight to try and talk me out
of it, and he was going to play the guilt card. Remember your dream I thought to
myself. Don't let him sway you.
I heard the sound of standing up. Djinn Altis said, "Very well. I will call on
you in the morning." Footsteps, then the door slid open. Djinn stepped out, and
walked past me, his head high. I stared up at him, and he flicked his gaze
downward to meet mine. Don't worry I heard his voice say in my head.
Everything will turn out as it should.
I smiled tightly and nodded. Djinn walked past me, and I returned my gaze
to the office door. Papa stood with one hand on the frame, staring after the Jedi.
He looked at me. "Don't for a moment think that I'm going to let you leave with
that lunatic." He said.
"He said it's my choice." I countered evenly.
"He's not your father."
I sighed, growing tired of his desire to control my life.
"Come in here," he said. "We'll be fair and civil about this."
I stood up and followed him into the office. He sat behind the desk and I
sat in front of him. He cleared his throat. "Callista, I know that you and I have
grown apart since your mother died. And I regret that, I really do. I wish I could
give you the freedom that I once promised you, but with the Chancellor's tariffs,
and business failing, I really have no choice but to keep you here."
"Papa," I said, leaning forward. "This is everything I've ever wanted since I
was a little girl."
"I know, Callie. But if you leave everything we've worked so hard for the
last ten years..." He waved his hand and clicked his tongue, at a loss for words.
"Callie, I need you here."
"I know this is the right path for me. A week ago, I felt the Force inside me.
It saved my life. Last night, I had a dream about Djinn Altis. Do you really think
that all this is just coincidence?"
He was silent, his eyes downcast. I reached out and took his had. "I love
you, Papa, but I know that this is my destiny."
He looked at his and under mine, and withdrew it. Sighing, he stood up.
"Fine. You want to go, go. But, if you leave here, if you walk out on this family,
you do it for good. If you leave with that man, I don't want you coming back.
Ever." He walked out, adding, "Make your decision on that ultimatum."
I didn't sleep that night. I sat at the bow of the ark, looking out over the
sea. The guardrail post was cool against the side of my face. The stars reflected
on the water, distorted by the restless ripples. I was lost in thought--would Papa
really kick me out? And would I have the heart to go through with what I knew
had to be done? Memories flowed through me, pain and bittersweet joys and
dreams. I remembered a better time, before Mama had died, when everyone had
been happy. It was amazing to think of a young girl on a beach and to realize that
we were the same person. It was amazing to know that my father now was the
same father that had helped me with my homework before we'd left for the sea,
and that my brother and I used to wrestle in the surf and that my sisters would
always be around. They were all the same people.
But not really.
At four hours past midnight, I made my decision. I went to my room and
started packing a bag.
I was still packing when Josef knocked on my door. I didn't look up as he
entered. "Did I wake you?" I asked, swallowing.
Josef shrugged. "It's okay." He looked at my bag. "You're leaving." He
said.
I nodded. "Djinn Altis is a Jedi, and he wants to train me." I looked at Josef
and forced a smile.
He nodded. "When do you come back?"
I felt the fake smile melt and slide off my face, and I turned away. Maybe if
it dripped into my bag, I could take it with me. I touched my hair to surreptitiously
brush tears from my eyes. "Um...I don't. I'm not coming back." I looked back at
him and saw the surprise in his face. Before he could ask, I explained: "Papa
says that if I leave, he won't take me back." I laughed ruefully. "He's kicking me
out."
Josef sat on the bed next to me. "You're kidding. You're really doing it? I
don't think I could."
I close my bag and rested my head on his shoulder. "I wasn't sure I could,
either, but I cant turn away from this if it's what I'm meant to be. Everything that's
happened for the last week has happened for a reason, and it's all been leading
up to this. If I turn my back now--" I sighed. I couldn't finish that sentence.
Unexpectedly, Josef turned and hugged me. "Promise me you won't
disappear. At least write, or call." I heard a sudden waver in his voice, a new fear
that he didn't know how to cope with.
"Okay," I said, allowing the embrace to last just a few more breaths before
pulling away. I stood up. "Okay, um...I don't know if I can face Papa. I'm just
going to leave a note and go." Even as I said it, despair flooded through me, so
much that I felt weighted down every time I breathed. My eyes stung with
emotion. I grabbed a sheet of flimsiplast and a stylus. As my brother watched, I
wrote only a few words, but self-explanatory:
Papa, I've made my decision. I love you. Lissy.
"Come on," Josef said. "You should leave before he's awake to object."
We crept through the ark as quietly as possible, masking our movements
behind the creaks of the ark as it released yesterday's heat like a saturated
sponge. Shadows played on the walls with the reflections of the water's ripples.
Josef swung himself over the railing of the hold's skeletal stairs. He
reached his arms up for my bag. I tossed it down to him and followed him over
the rail. I landed steadily on the deck and jumped into the speeder. Josef
punched the door release. Before us, the wall disappeared like the destruction of
my final barrier between me and my destiny.
The engine kicked in, lathering the water behind us. Josef threw the
speeder into hear and we streaked through the water, away from my home. I
didn't dare look back, or I would change my mind. I hung my head and squeezed
my eyes shut, brushing my cheeks to wipe away the sea spray that dotted my
cheeks. Perhaps it wasn't the sea touching my face after all.
We drove for only a few minutes, but it seemed like hours to me. Djinn
Altis had parked his boat in the cove we'd been shearing the kelp in. Josef killed
the engine and we idled softly to the side of the boat. I tossed my bag over my
shoulder and stood up. Josef stood too, and turned to face me. I looked at him
for an instant before throwing my arms around him. He hugged me tightly, but
only for the briefest of moments. He looked at me and sniffed. I stared back at
him. "I'll be back. I promise. Without another word, I turned and climbed up the
ladder and onto the deck of Master Altis' ship.
Josef watched me ascend, then sat down in the speeder. I watched as he
drove away, until all I could see was the spray of his wake.
"Glad you could make it."
I swung around. Djinn Altis stood behind me, hands folded.
We docked in the port city of Geramlia an hour later, leaving the boat
behind. "Where are we going?" I asked.
Djinn looked up into the early morning sky. "Into the stars,"
I raised my eyes and looked up as well, at the fading diamonds dotting the
waning darkness. I'd never been higher than the cliffs near our old beach house.
The sudden idea of being among the stars enchanted me. A smile spread across
my face. The streets of Geramlia only trickled with the flow of people in the
early morning. It was, after all, only four and a half hours into the day. We made
our way quietly, keeping to ourselves. I followed Djinn like an obedient pet, and
he led me to a docking bay in the center of town.
There, I saw the most beautiful ship I'd ever laid eyes on.
Small, sleek and streamlined, like a cy'een calf, the little ship stood like a
deity before me, the sunlight cresting over the skyline and bouncing off the silver
curves. "Wow," I breathed in awe. Never before had I seen a ship like that, at
least up close.
"You like it?" Djinn said, striding towards it and keying the hatch open. I
reached up and stroked the hull. The metal was smooth, cool under my hand.
"It's beautiful," I said. What kind is it?"
"Just a lander. We're going up to a larger ship. The Chu'unthor."
"Chu'unthor? I repeated.
"Yes. Your new home." He said, and disappeared up the ramp into the
lander.
My new home. Suddenly I felt an infinite sadness, at the thought that my
oceans would no longer be home to me. I looked through the alcove that led out
of the docking bay, at the meager view of the sea afforded between buildings and
pedestrians.
Let it go, I thought, and turned away before I could convince myself to
change my mind.
We lifted off ten minutes later. Djinn guided the ship over the ocean, still
dark at daybreak. I sat in the copilot's seat, my hands clenching the arms of the
chair.
"Do you see this, Callista?" Djinn gestured to the wide ocean before us.
"All you're life you've been surrounded by life and death in the Force. This entire
planet is alive. The cy'een, the coral, the fish...it all has its place in the Force. It's
my lot in life to make young people like yourself learn to see, hear, feel, smell,
taste it." He glanced at me. "In time, you will learn to feel the life in everything.
You will be a Jedi."
I felt like I'd been yanked into the air to a higher altitude than I'd ever been
before. It was breathtaking, exhilarating. I sat forward, closer to the viewport, to
see, to sense, to know the ocean, my home, in a way I'd never imagined. I
strained, tried to find that place I'd been at a week ago, that place where I had
moved the ice.
"Close your eyes," Djinn said.
I looked at him, confused. "But how can I..." I closed my mouth,
reconsidering, and turned back tot he viewport, and closed my eyes.
"Now breathe. You're tense. Release that tension. You can't grasp one
thing if you're holding too tightly to another."
I took a deep breath, so deep that its wind swept up all my doubt and
demons, and expelled them in a long sigh.
"Now reach." he urged. "Send your mind into the water. Become the
water."
I pictured diving into the water, disappearing and transforming.
LifeDeathExistenceSymbianceSurvival
I felt them all...all at once! Something I'd only dreamed of, but for the first
time, I knew the sea was alive. The last traces of atmosphere melted behind the
ship, leaving us to the cold infinity of space. I had to hold my breath to retain my
surprise, but it soon bubbled over. Djinn looked over at me and chuckled. He'd
seen my reaction, no doubt the same one he'd seen a dozen times before.
"You've never seen space before," he observed.
"Not without my feet on the sand," I replied. "That's nothing compared to
this." I looked all around me, and every angle was dotted with stars--everywhere,
like someone had shattered ice over a black blanket. What had once been my
entire existence was now only a tiny sliver of blue light along the edge of the
viewport, insignificant in the vast expanse. The moons glowed ominously like
mystical orbs. Directly ahead of us, a long, flat craft hovered, almost invisible. It
was huge--it looked for all the world like a row of tall skyscrapers laid on their
sides. Lights glowed all throughout it, signs of life. I sat forward in awe. "Is that--"
"--the Chu'unthor." Djinn finished. "The wanderer. A ship with no
destination." He nodded towards it. "There you will learn the way of the Jedi."
We touched down in one of the docking bays. As I looked out the
viewport, I saw two figures waiting on the platform, a man and a woman.
"The young woman down there is my padawan." Djinn said. "She'll show
you around."
"Padawan?" I repeated. I'd never heard the word before.
"A student of mine that has been with me a very long while. There are
many masters here, and many padawans, but even more students. One day you
may become a padawan yourself." He powered down the lander and stood up.
"Well, let's go."
I shouldered my bag and followed him to the hatch. My stomach fluttered;
I was both nervous and excited. Djinn glanced at me. "Fear leads to the dark
side, Callista." He said.
I took a deep breath. "Okay."
"Another thing--from now on, it would be better if you said 'Yes, Master.'"
I nodded. "Yes, Master."
He keyed open the hatch and the ramp lowered. We walked down and
met the two Jedi students.
The woman was shorter, and looked a few years older than I was. Her hair
was long, straight and brown, shot through with acid streaks of blond. Blue eyes
sparkled from a clear freckled face.
The man beside her was human as well, at least at first glance. He was
tall, his hair black and spiky. his expression was calm, yet open and friendly. But
his eyes were very strange. The violet irises, rather than circling his pupils,
radiated outward like animal stripes across the whites of his eyes. I wondered if
he was part alien or if it was due to some birth defect.
"Welcome home, Master." The man said. His voice was a low tenor, full of
respect. He and the woman half-bowed, and Djinn returned the gesture.
"Thank you, Soonta." He turned to me. "This is my new student, Callista
Nogati. Callista, I'd like you to meet Kasidy Ostin and Soonta Ley'n."
I stuck my hand out and shook with each of them. "Hi. It's great to meet
you."
"Likewise, Callista." Kasidy said. Though shorter than I was, she carried
herself in such a way that she seemed my height. She seemed very confident,
very sure of herself. I was aware of how I looked next to this well-kept, pretty
woman in my ragged homespuns and sun-baked hair.
"Master," Soonta said. "Captain Graim wished to speak with you as soon
as you returned."
Djinn nodded. "We can't keep the good captain waiting. Kasidy, take
Callista on the grand tour, and to the meal hall for breakfast."
"Yes, Master." She smiled warmly at me and took my arm. "Let's go."
Kasidy showed me to the starboard wing of the leviathan ship first, where
the students were quartered. "You'll need to be careful for a while. It's very easy
to get lost here."
"I can imagine," I replied, keeping in step beside her. "How long should it
take me to learn my way around?"
I don't know, how's your sense of direction?" She asked in return.
"Not too shabby."
"A couple of days, maybe a week, tops. You'll do fine."
We strode through the corridors o the starboard wing, Kasidy explaining
things as we went. "Classes begin at oh-six-hundred hours. I recommend you
wake up and hour or so early so you don't fall asleep during lectures. Since you
have no prior training, they'll probably start you in the beginning courses, which
help you feel out your place in the Force and find what your specialties are."
"Specialties?" I asked.
"Every Jedi has an aspect of the Force which they master particularly well.
Telepathy, telekinesis, healing...there are many."
The outer hall was a floor-to-ceiling viewport. I looked outside to the vista
of Chad and the glimmer of Icari behind her. Papa was probably just waking up
and finding me gone. "What's your specialty?" I asked.
"I can sense people's emotions," she said. And as a stared out the
viewport, she appeared outside, seeming to stand on the North Pole of the
planet. And I'm learning projection under Master Altis.
"Whoa," I took a step back from the viewport and looked at Kasidy as she
looked right next to me. She stood very still, her eyes half-closed. "Weird." I said.
Kasidy opened her eyes. "But it can be done. That's what you're here to
learn." She made a gesture with one hand. "Let's keep walking. More play can
come later."
We kept walking, and Kasidy continued in her tour. Looking around, I was
surprised at how few people I actually saw. "Where is everyone?" I finally asked.
"Most everyone is in the mess hall, or in their quarters meditating. It's early
yet." Kasidy answered. I glanced at my wrist chronometer and was surprised to
see that it was only five hours past midnight.
"Here's your room," Kasidy said, indicating a door with the number 51516
etched on its face. She keyed the door open and ushered me inside. The room
was small, but accommodating, with a bedroom and adjacent refresher station.
Dimly set glowbulbs hovered in each corner, outbrightened by the light from the
viewport. The furnishings were all uniform gray or black. The bed rested in a low
alcove, perpendicular to the window. I set my bag on the dresser and sat on the
edge of the bed.
" I said, clutching the sideboard and taking in my surroundings.
Kasidy leaned against the wall and folded her arms, casting her eyes
about as if inspecting the room. "This is your place. You can do whatever you like
with it." She tossed her hair over her shoulder. I'm just a few doors down, in
51513. I spend a lot of time in there, or in the lounge if you need me for
anything." She looked at me and straightened. "Come on, there's more to see.
Leave your bag here."
Before breakfast, Kasidy showed me the lounge and the bridge, and
introduced me to Graim Starrunner, native to Tatooine and the captain of the
Chu'unthor. I had never heard of Tatooine, but "Captain Graim," as he liked to be
called, was nice enough. He was tall, dark, in his mid-forties, and carried a
distinguished air about him that suggested military. When he shook my hand, his
grip was strong and confident.
After that, Kasidy showed me to the mess hall for breakfast. Other
students began filing in to join the people already there. I had never seen so
many alien species in one place. I was familiar with the handful of Chadra-Fan,
some of whom looked as lost as I felt. But there we countless others whose
names I couldn't place or begin to imagine where they came from.
Kasidy took my arm. "Come on," she said. "I'll introduce you to some of
the other students."
We lined up for our food, behind a red twi'lek woman who smiled as we
approached. Her face was sharp, angled and beautiful, especially with her large
black eyes contrasting her crimson skin. "Hey, Kass," she said, then glanced at
me. "New student?"
Kasidy nodded. "This is Callista Nogati, from Chad Three. Callista, I'd like
you to meet Zara Guyenn."
Zara nodded, then pushed back the long sleeves of her robe. "Nice to
meet you," she said, and frowned. "You seem a little old to be beginning training.
Have you had any other instruction?"
I shook my head. "No, I'm just starting."
Zara shrugged. "Well, you seem smart. I bet you'll catch up quickly." She
flashed a brilliantly white smile. "Let's all sit together at breakfast. I want to learn
all about you, Callista."
Kasidy dropped me off at my first ever Jedi class. It was a little strange,
because even though I couldn't hope to guess the ages of the alien students, I
felt like the oldest person there. The human students were all under ten years
old.
But halfway through the class, a teenage boy about my age stumbled in,
and everyone turned and looked at him, including Master Altis. The boy stood
motionless for a moment, looking back at all the faces that stared at him. Then
his face cracked in a grin and he shrugged. "What?" and he flopped into the chair
beside me.
The students all returned their attention to Master Altis, who continued his
lecture, seemingly unconcerned with having been interrupted.
The boy leaned over to me. "So, do you think I was too conspicuous?"
I glanced at him briefly. "Oh, um...no. Not at all."
He laughed quietly. "I'm Ilios. You're new, aren't you?"
I nodded. "Callista. This is my first day." Turning my head, I got my first
good look at the newcomer, Ilios. He was blond with green eyes that flashed with
electric vibrancy. He smiled a row of straight white teeth.
"Welcome to the Chu'unthor, then." He said.
I smiled. "Thanks."
We sat in silence and listened to the lesson for a good hour. I was
surprised that the younger kids sat still, but they did, listening quietly as Master
Altis spoke about "the basics:" The living Force versus the unifying Force. I
wasn't aware of different parts of the Force; I'd thought it had been one big
power, one-dimensional. I was very naive, then, to think that anything about the
Force was that simple.
Ilios walked with me to the next class, which we shared. I learned more
about him, then. Ilios Larptiwa was 18, and native to Alderaan. He had been here
a month, so he was just past my level.
As we talked, somebody plowed into us from behind, knocking Ilios to the
ground. "Hey!" Ilios grunted. I grabbed his arm to help him up, but he waved me
away. "Watch where you're going, Cerante!"
The kid turned and offered a snide smirk. "Right of way, street rat. You
were right in my way." Then he turned and kept walking.
"Who was that?" I asked.
Ilios shook his head. "Cerante Getufsko. He comes from the upper crust of
Alderaan society. I don't. He hates me for it."
"That doesn't make any sense." I said as we resumed walking.
"Don't worry about it. It's my problem." He said, waving a dismissive hand.