Two hours later, we loaded our belongings into the same shuttle we had come in on. Obi-Wan helped us load the cargo, while Padmé stood off to the side, watching with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Once everything was loaded, Obi-Wan and Padmé boarded the shuttle. Geith followed them, but Master Altis held me back for a moment.
"Now, Callista, be sure to report in every so often, on a secure channel."
I nodded. "We will." I looked at all the trainees and knights watching from the viewports and door, trying to catch a glimpse of the wife of Darth Vader and the famous Obi-Wan Kenobi. "What will happen," I asked, returning my gaze to Master Altis. "if Vader finds them?"
He shook his head grimly. "Then the galaxy will be doomed, and the Jedi will all be lost."
I licked my lips. "I won't let it happen," I said. "I won't fail you."
Master Altis smiled warmly. "Do not fail the Jedi, Callista, and you will never fail me."
Most of our trip passed in silence. Kenobi and Padmé kept mainly to themselves, secluded in the passenger cabins. Geith and I spent most of our time in the cockpit.
"Have you ever even heard of Belsavis?" I asked, scanning the charts as we made yet another random jump to throw off anyone following us.
Geith shook his head. "Nope."
"What do you think it's like?"
"I don't know," he shrugged, and yawned. "I'm too tired to imagine."
I stood up and kissed his three-day stubble. "I'll get us some coffeine. Back in a few minutes."
"Hurry, baby," Geith said with a tired laugh. "I can only last so long..."
I laughed and closed the cockpit door. With a yawn, I stretched my arms and stumbled wearily to the coffeine maker. I was halfway there when I saw Padmé sitting alone at the table, breathing heavily.
"You okay?" I asked, stepping closer.
She looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes and pallid face. "Yes," she said. "Just...morning sickness." She frowned. "It is morning, isn't it?"
"Yeah, something like that," I said. "It's early, or late, enough to need coffeine. Can I make you a cup?"
When she shook her head, I filled Geith's cup. "One of my brother's shipmates made a great brew. Much better than this." I set my cup down and walked around behind the kitchen area. "I think I know something that'll help, though, if we have the stuff on this understocked tub."
"Oh, no, I don't want to trouble you-"
I waved a hand. "No, really. It's no trouble. My stepmom taught me how to make it. She drank it all the time when she had morning sickness, before she had her miscarriage-" I stopped, thought better of it. "Maybe I'll just make you some warm milk instead." I quickly warmed one of the carton units of milk and set it in front of her. Her face had relaxed immensely from the wide-eyed, shock that had registered there when I 'd mentioned Anela's miscarriage.
"Thank you," said Padmé, sipping at the milk with a two-handed grip. I sat across from her to finish my coffeine. "Do you have any children, Callista?" she asked suddenly.
I shook my head. "No, I haven't had the time. I suppose Geith and I will give it a shot, when things start cooling down here. The Masters want us to, but I don't know."
"How long have you two been together?"
I paused, counting off the time in my head. "About two years, take a month or two."
"Are you engaged?"
Again, I shook my head. "No. I don't think he's big on the idea"
Padmé smiled. "Anakin-he was nine when we first met. Even then, he knew we'd get married. He told me that, but I didn't believe him." She smiled ruefully, remembering easier, happier times. "It would be ten years before we saw each other again, and we got married mere weeks later." She shrugged, and rubbed her still-flat stomach. "I suppose each case is different, though."
I nodded. "Did you love him?"
"I still do."
I set down my empty cup. "I'm sorry. Forgive me for prying."
"No, don't worry at all. It's okay." She winced. "Oh."
"What?" I asked. "Do you want me to get Obi-Wan?"
"No, he's asleep. I think I just felt one of the babies kick."
I frowned. "That's early, isn't it?"
She smiled. "You forget, these are the children of Anakin Skywalker." She looked up at me. "Would you like to feel?"
I smiled. "Really?"
Padmé nodded, and gingerly, I reached out and rested a hand against her stomach. There was, indeed, a tiny life moving around in there. I reached out through the Force, touching the life I felt moving-string, very powerful in the Force. "It's the boy," I said. "I can feel his mind."
The little being reached back to me, knowing I was not his mother, but still, latching on nonetheless.
"Obi-Wan told me I'll have a boy and a girl."
"Wow," I breathed, overwhelmed. I looked up into her eyes. "Padmé, you know that if you ever need anything at all, I'll always be willing to help."
"Just help me protect my babies," she said, determined. "That's all I ask. You know they're special."
I nodded. "I know."
A moment of uncomfortable silence.
"Well," I said. I promised Geith a cup of coffeine. I'd better get it to him before he falls asleep at the controls."
"I suppose so," Padmé said. "Thank you for the milk."
"Oh, anytime." I refilled my cup and started back to the cockpit. "I hope you feel better."
"Yes, thank you."
Back in the cockpit, I handed Geith his cup. "There you go," I said.
"Ah, bless you, my love." He gratefully took the cup and swallowed a large gulp. "I almost gave up on you."
"Padmé was feeling sick," I said. "I made her something to help her feel better." I settled into his lap and rested the back of my head against his shoulder, propping my feet on the control panel. "How much longer, do you think?"
Geith kissed my temple. "Maybe an hour or so."
I sat forward and studied the diagnostics. "An hour and a half," I confirmed.
Geith ran his hands through my hair. "We'd best get into character."
As part of our undercover job, we were supposed to radically change our appearance. My disguise consisted of blue hair dye, intense makeup, a nose ring and three visible tattoos. In addition, I also was supplied with a new wardrobe-clothes I had only seen on girls whose professions I did not envy. Supposedly the effect was to help me blend in, so I had to ask, blend in where?
Geith's costume was much less wild. He only blacked his hair and put on a couple of tattoos, and didn't alter his wardrobe at all.
It took several packages of color crawlers to change my hair from dark brown to blue-black. When I was finished, I looked at my reflection and couldn't help laughing. Leaning against the wall behind me, Padmé smiled. "It suits you," she offered.
I snorted, and that sent her into fits of laughter as well. She helped me braid my hair into eight long, thick ropes, and reached for the makeup bag.
"I was just going to ignore that," I protested.
Padmé shook her head. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." As she painted my face with deep reds, blues and blacks, I started pounding on the leather and silver jewelry I'd also been given.
It took Padmé less time to finish.
Clip-on hoops spiraled up both my ears, plus another in my nose and one more in my exposed navel. We put one of my fake tattoos (a flower guaranteed to last for months) on the back of my shoulder, a dragon on my hip and a thorny spiral around my bicep.
Finally finished, I stood in front of the mirror again. "I look ridiculous," I said.
"That's the point," Padmé pointed out. "Jedi never look ridiculous."
"Better go," I said, and bounded up to the cockpit. I paused in the doorway until he turned around. When he did, his eyes bulged and his mouth dropped open. I smiled and raised my arms above my head. "Well?"
Geith shook his head. "Whoa..." he said. "I don't know whether to be turned on or terrified."
I kissed the top of his head. "Everything in it's time, darling."
An alarm beeped, signaling our arrival at Belsavis.
When the former Queen of Naboo stepped off the shuttle and set foot on Belsavis, only two people came to meet her. No entourage, no deadly fanfare, just two human men dressed in Jedi robes. They whisked her and her escort away quickly, and they were gone before any farewells or thank-yous could be uttered.
"Well, Geith said, wrapping an arm around my waist from behind. "Ord Mantell, here we come."
Geith and I took the opportunity to sleep during hyperspace. We laid in each other's arms in silence, Geith stroking my arm and tracing tiny circles on my back. His hand slowed as he drifted off to sleep. Finally, it stopped altogether.
"What did you think?" he asked, surprising me.
"Think of what?"
"What Djinn said. About having a baby."
I tightened my hold around his chest. "I don't know," I said. "You know my reasoning. What do you think?"
He shrugged, displacing my head. "I think-I want to be a father, some day. Whether we do it now, or later, or whatever, that doesn't matter to me. But I would like it to happen." He paused. "I mean, I've imagined all these things, and ever since I met you, I've imagined them with you, you know? Really, what have you seen for us?"
I sighed. "Well, I've just always thought-whatever is in the future, I see it with you." I sat up and leaned against the wall of the bed alcove. "But it scares me. I don't know how to be a mother. And anyway," I looked at him pointedly. "Do we really want to bring a child-a Jedi child, no less-into this world? She'd always be in danger. And add on top of that, we'd have the worries of normal parents. For instance, we have no money."
Geith got up and pressed a finger to my lips. "At least think about it. And know that I think it's a good idea." He kissed me. "Let's not talk about this anymore," he said, lying down and pulling me down with him. With and exasperated sigh, I sank into the welcome respite of his arms, and eventually drifted off to sleep.
Ord Mantell swarmed with activity. We landed at the Spread Legs docking station and gathered our belongings. Everything we had brought fit in four large duffels that slung easily over our shoulders. Our apartment was furnished, and for the mast part paid for the Council.
"Have you ever been here before?" I asked Geith as he flagged down a speeder cab.
"Yeah, once," he replied. "But only in passing."
A bony hand grasped my arm. I looked down into the wide, toothless face of a ragged old man. "Come with me," he said, leaning closer. "I have things to show you." His eyebrows bobbed suggestively as his gnarled fingers snaked up to my shoulder. I pulled away in disgust, and Geith put himself between the two of us.
"What was that?" he asked.
The old man's ghoulish face paled, and he backpedaled several steps. "Uh, my mistake, lovely. Thought you were someone else." He shrank back into the crowds and disappeared.
"Welcome to Ord Mantell," I muttered as a speeder cab pulled up beside us. Geith and I stuffed our duffels in the cargo locker and climbed into the passenger seats.
"Where to?" the driver asked.
Geith told him the address, and the driver pulled onto the street and started driving. I laid down and put my head in Geith's lap. I was exhausted from our journey. I felt like I'd been walking on a wire high above the ground and I'd had to be alert the whole time. Now, finally, I'd been let down and I could rest.
"So where're ye folks from?" The driver asked suddenly.
"We just moved here from Coruscant," Geith said, in keeping with the alibi we'd cooked up. "We were getting tired of being woken up in the middle of the night by all the Jedi hunting going on in our block."
"Ah, I see," he said. "S'a pity, really, these purges. Mean, I'm no Jedi friendly, but I dunna like 'em killin' th' kids."
Geith nodded. "What's it like here? Much hunting going on?"
The driver snorted. "Ah, no. Any Jedi'd 'ave t'be crazy to set foot in this nest o' bounty 'unters. Every'un 'ere's got a big quarry goin'."
Geith nodded and stroked my blue hair. Change the subject, I thought urgently at him. People would get suspicious if we asked too many questions.
"So how about those Jazzy Mutants?" Geith asked, naming a particularly bad smashball team.
The rest of the conversation idled in sports until we got to our apartment block. "Hee ya'a," the driver said, turning around.
"Thanks," Geith said, paying him. We climbed out of the speeder and unloaded our bags. The cab pulled away and left us alone.
Our apartment was on the first floor of six. There was no landlord; rent was paid to some big company on Coruscant.
"Charming little place, isn't it?" Geith asked.
I nodded. "It does exude that hominess I've always wanted." I said.
Geith laughed as I set over of my duffels down and fished the keycard out of my leather pants. I waved it over the lock and dragged the bag I set down iside after the door opened.
The apartment smelled damp and musty. When Geith turned on the lights we scanned the room. Truth be told, it wasn't that bad. Clean, furnished, I couldn't complain.
"Better than I thought it'd be," Geith said, tossing his bags on the couch.
I made a noise of assent and set my other bag down. Geith shut the door. "Well," he said, turning around and slipping his arms around my waist. He kissed my neck.
"Hmmm...we need to unpack," I protested lamely.
"That can wait."
Luckily for us, our neighbors weren't exactly neighborly. They kept to themselves, and so did we. I got a job in one of the cantinas downtown, under the name Ellara Li. Geith started working in a garage. We were in contact with a lot of people, just like the Masters had wanted. Especially in the cantina, when people got drunk and didn't mind their words. It didn't take us very long to assess that not many people liked the Jedi anymore. The damage Palpatine had done was irreparable; now all we could do was pick up the pieces and hope that what we made was something even remotely resembling the old Order.
And there was still the troubling issue of a baby. Offhand, I knew it needed to be done, but it was like admitting you made a wrong turn: you had to, but doing so made you look stupid and that alone paralyzed your tongue. In the end, there was only one choice.
I usually worked later than Geith, but that night I feigned sickness and went home early. When Geith got home an hour later, I was sitting in the darkness, folded into a chair. Of course, he was surprised to see me there waiting for him. "What're you doing home so early?" he asked.
I shrugged and sat up, swinging my legs over the edge. "I made a decision," I said, reaching out to take his hand. He looked at me with something of a confused expression on his face.
"About what?"
I sighed. "About the baby." I watched his reaction as I said. "I want to do it."
His face changed six times: from confusion to surprise to amazement to excitement to disbelief and back to excitement. "Really?" he asked.
I smiled and nodded. "Yeah."
He bent over and kissed me. Thank you, I hear his thoughts. I stood up on the chair, and he picked me up and carried my into our bedroom. "Now?" he asked as I touched his scratchy face.
"Yes," I said, kissing him again. He laid me on the bed and fumbled with the closures of my outrageous costume.
That night, Geith held me more gently than he'd ever done when we made love. He cupped my head in one hand, and pressed me to him with his other hand against the small of my back. I felt his sweaty skin pressed against mine, his fingers intertwined with mine, his lips against mine before roving elsewhere. I tried to disregard the emotions surging through me and focus. The only way I could make sure I would get pregnant would be to use the Force, and so I did. Geith did the same. We were like two balls of light circling around each other, drawing closer and closer until finally we met and joined in one flash of brilliant light, blinding and powerful.
I sat on the bed with my back against the wall. My legs were pulled tight against my chest. My attention was focused inward, searching for any sign of a tiny life, growing inside me. Geith still slept beside me, on his back with one arm flopped over the side of the bed. The sheet gathered around his ribs, rising and falling with his breath. I knew how much he wanted this-he never would have asked me to do something I feared so much if he didn't want it so badly. I think I did it more for him than for the Jedi.
I reached out again, praying to feel the little baby that I wanted to be there. Still, I found nothing. I sighed in frustration and dropped my head to my knees. My motion woke Geith, and he reached out and stroked my thigh. "It's all right," he murmured, opening his eyes. He rolled on his stomach and examined my knee. "We'll keep trying."
I sighed and slid underneath him, seeking his warmth and comfort. "I don't understand it, Geith. I thought using the Force would make it happen."
Geith drew circles on my skin with a finger. "I think that it will make it happen. Just not today."
The cantina was incredibly busy that night. The word was that Nubblyk the Slyte was leaving on an extended run for new hideout zones, so his associates here were throwing him a huge going-away party.
"Ellara! Toss me the Saintly Sin!" Sugar, the old-but-young-looking owner, yelled to me. I grabbed the sculpted bottle and tossed it to her.
"Hey, beauty, what does it take to get a drink around here?"
I turned and faced the bar, where a loudly dressed old man sat leering at me. His oily skin glistened in the half light as his eyebrows rose and fell suggestively. Rolling my eyes, I leaned forward. "What'll it be?"
He smiled. "Hardest stuff you got, with a piece of you on the side." His eyes lowered just a little.
Please, I thought, but said, "Well, since I am the hardest thing we got, and I'm not a drink, you'll settle for some of the Saintly Sin. It's on special today, and cheaper than me anyway." I surreptitiously waved my hand in front of him as I spoke, subtly implanting the thought in his mind.
"On second thought, gimme some of the Saintly Sin. It's on special today, isn't it?"
I nodded, pouring him a shot. "Yep.'
"Cheaper than you, I bet," he added condescendingly, gulping down his shot. "Keep 'em coming."
I poured him another shot and walked away, surveying the patrons in their reveling.
"Hey!" Sugar shrieked, bringing me back to the matter at hand. I looked up to see her leaping up on top of the bar. Two men were circling and throwing punches. I jumped over the counter and pushed through the crowds. One of the men, I saw was the oily man I'd just served the Saintly Sin to. And whoever was fighting him was totally kicking his-
"Geith!" I shouted, as he punched the oily man again. I climbed up on the bar so I could jump between them, then remembered he had an alias. "Evin, stop it!"
"I'll teach you to hit on my girlfriend!"
"Evin! Leave him alone! He's not-" I was cut off by a sudden dizzy spell. I wobbled on my stiletto-heeled boots. Sugar grabbed my arm.
"Ell, you okay?"
Geith's face swam before my eyes. Heat erupted in my veins and seeped through my skin. Then my knees buckled under me, and my feet failed.
The next thing I knew, I was lying back in the break room, with Geith and Sugar watching me worriedly.
"Elly, you okay?" Geith asked, touching my face.
I groaned. "What happened?"
"You passed out," Sugar told me. "I think you hit your head on the bar when you went down. Do you feel okay?"
Then an idea struck me.
"I'm fine," I said. "Who's watching the bar?"
"I pulled Killian off his break," she said. "Tell you what, why don't you go home? Killian and I can manage fine. Evin, go ahead and take her home, honey."
Geith nodded. "Thanks, Sugar."
Sugar smiled and disappeared out into the bar. Geith helped me to sit up. "What happened?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I don't know, I just...got...really dizzy." I looked up. "Geith, I think..."
"You think what?"
I grabbed his hand and pressed it against my stomach. "You do it. I'm afraid to."
He looked at me with a spark of hope in his eyes. He looked at my stomach, closed his eyes and reached out through the Force. I could feel him probing me, searching for the tiny life growing inside my presence. A slow smile lifted the corners of his mouth. He squeezed my hand and I smiled and laughed.
"Now, Callista, be sure to report in every so often, on a secure channel."
I nodded. "We will." I looked at all the trainees and knights watching from the viewports and door, trying to catch a glimpse of the wife of Darth Vader and the famous Obi-Wan Kenobi. "What will happen," I asked, returning my gaze to Master Altis. "if Vader finds them?"
He shook his head grimly. "Then the galaxy will be doomed, and the Jedi will all be lost."
I licked my lips. "I won't let it happen," I said. "I won't fail you."
Master Altis smiled warmly. "Do not fail the Jedi, Callista, and you will never fail me."
Most of our trip passed in silence. Kenobi and Padmé kept mainly to themselves, secluded in the passenger cabins. Geith and I spent most of our time in the cockpit.
"Have you ever even heard of Belsavis?" I asked, scanning the charts as we made yet another random jump to throw off anyone following us.
Geith shook his head. "Nope."
"What do you think it's like?"
"I don't know," he shrugged, and yawned. "I'm too tired to imagine."
I stood up and kissed his three-day stubble. "I'll get us some coffeine. Back in a few minutes."
"Hurry, baby," Geith said with a tired laugh. "I can only last so long..."
I laughed and closed the cockpit door. With a yawn, I stretched my arms and stumbled wearily to the coffeine maker. I was halfway there when I saw Padmé sitting alone at the table, breathing heavily.
"You okay?" I asked, stepping closer.
She looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes and pallid face. "Yes," she said. "Just...morning sickness." She frowned. "It is morning, isn't it?"
"Yeah, something like that," I said. "It's early, or late, enough to need coffeine. Can I make you a cup?"
When she shook her head, I filled Geith's cup. "One of my brother's shipmates made a great brew. Much better than this." I set my cup down and walked around behind the kitchen area. "I think I know something that'll help, though, if we have the stuff on this understocked tub."
"Oh, no, I don't want to trouble you-"
I waved a hand. "No, really. It's no trouble. My stepmom taught me how to make it. She drank it all the time when she had morning sickness, before she had her miscarriage-" I stopped, thought better of it. "Maybe I'll just make you some warm milk instead." I quickly warmed one of the carton units of milk and set it in front of her. Her face had relaxed immensely from the wide-eyed, shock that had registered there when I 'd mentioned Anela's miscarriage.
"Thank you," said Padmé, sipping at the milk with a two-handed grip. I sat across from her to finish my coffeine. "Do you have any children, Callista?" she asked suddenly.
I shook my head. "No, I haven't had the time. I suppose Geith and I will give it a shot, when things start cooling down here. The Masters want us to, but I don't know."
"How long have you two been together?"
I paused, counting off the time in my head. "About two years, take a month or two."
"Are you engaged?"
Again, I shook my head. "No. I don't think he's big on the idea"
Padmé smiled. "Anakin-he was nine when we first met. Even then, he knew we'd get married. He told me that, but I didn't believe him." She smiled ruefully, remembering easier, happier times. "It would be ten years before we saw each other again, and we got married mere weeks later." She shrugged, and rubbed her still-flat stomach. "I suppose each case is different, though."
I nodded. "Did you love him?"
"I still do."
I set down my empty cup. "I'm sorry. Forgive me for prying."
"No, don't worry at all. It's okay." She winced. "Oh."
"What?" I asked. "Do you want me to get Obi-Wan?"
"No, he's asleep. I think I just felt one of the babies kick."
I frowned. "That's early, isn't it?"
She smiled. "You forget, these are the children of Anakin Skywalker." She looked up at me. "Would you like to feel?"
I smiled. "Really?"
Padmé nodded, and gingerly, I reached out and rested a hand against her stomach. There was, indeed, a tiny life moving around in there. I reached out through the Force, touching the life I felt moving-string, very powerful in the Force. "It's the boy," I said. "I can feel his mind."
The little being reached back to me, knowing I was not his mother, but still, latching on nonetheless.
"Obi-Wan told me I'll have a boy and a girl."
"Wow," I breathed, overwhelmed. I looked up into her eyes. "Padmé, you know that if you ever need anything at all, I'll always be willing to help."
"Just help me protect my babies," she said, determined. "That's all I ask. You know they're special."
I nodded. "I know."
A moment of uncomfortable silence.
"Well," I said. I promised Geith a cup of coffeine. I'd better get it to him before he falls asleep at the controls."
"I suppose so," Padmé said. "Thank you for the milk."
"Oh, anytime." I refilled my cup and started back to the cockpit. "I hope you feel better."
"Yes, thank you."
Back in the cockpit, I handed Geith his cup. "There you go," I said.
"Ah, bless you, my love." He gratefully took the cup and swallowed a large gulp. "I almost gave up on you."
"Padmé was feeling sick," I said. "I made her something to help her feel better." I settled into his lap and rested the back of my head against his shoulder, propping my feet on the control panel. "How much longer, do you think?"
Geith kissed my temple. "Maybe an hour or so."
I sat forward and studied the diagnostics. "An hour and a half," I confirmed.
Geith ran his hands through my hair. "We'd best get into character."
As part of our undercover job, we were supposed to radically change our appearance. My disguise consisted of blue hair dye, intense makeup, a nose ring and three visible tattoos. In addition, I also was supplied with a new wardrobe-clothes I had only seen on girls whose professions I did not envy. Supposedly the effect was to help me blend in, so I had to ask, blend in where?
Geith's costume was much less wild. He only blacked his hair and put on a couple of tattoos, and didn't alter his wardrobe at all.
It took several packages of color crawlers to change my hair from dark brown to blue-black. When I was finished, I looked at my reflection and couldn't help laughing. Leaning against the wall behind me, Padmé smiled. "It suits you," she offered.
I snorted, and that sent her into fits of laughter as well. She helped me braid my hair into eight long, thick ropes, and reached for the makeup bag.
"I was just going to ignore that," I protested.
Padmé shook her head. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." As she painted my face with deep reds, blues and blacks, I started pounding on the leather and silver jewelry I'd also been given.
It took Padmé less time to finish.
Clip-on hoops spiraled up both my ears, plus another in my nose and one more in my exposed navel. We put one of my fake tattoos (a flower guaranteed to last for months) on the back of my shoulder, a dragon on my hip and a thorny spiral around my bicep.
Finally finished, I stood in front of the mirror again. "I look ridiculous," I said.
"That's the point," Padmé pointed out. "Jedi never look ridiculous."
"Better go," I said, and bounded up to the cockpit. I paused in the doorway until he turned around. When he did, his eyes bulged and his mouth dropped open. I smiled and raised my arms above my head. "Well?"
Geith shook his head. "Whoa..." he said. "I don't know whether to be turned on or terrified."
I kissed the top of his head. "Everything in it's time, darling."
An alarm beeped, signaling our arrival at Belsavis.
When the former Queen of Naboo stepped off the shuttle and set foot on Belsavis, only two people came to meet her. No entourage, no deadly fanfare, just two human men dressed in Jedi robes. They whisked her and her escort away quickly, and they were gone before any farewells or thank-yous could be uttered.
"Well, Geith said, wrapping an arm around my waist from behind. "Ord Mantell, here we come."
Geith and I took the opportunity to sleep during hyperspace. We laid in each other's arms in silence, Geith stroking my arm and tracing tiny circles on my back. His hand slowed as he drifted off to sleep. Finally, it stopped altogether.
"What did you think?" he asked, surprising me.
"Think of what?"
"What Djinn said. About having a baby."
I tightened my hold around his chest. "I don't know," I said. "You know my reasoning. What do you think?"
He shrugged, displacing my head. "I think-I want to be a father, some day. Whether we do it now, or later, or whatever, that doesn't matter to me. But I would like it to happen." He paused. "I mean, I've imagined all these things, and ever since I met you, I've imagined them with you, you know? Really, what have you seen for us?"
I sighed. "Well, I've just always thought-whatever is in the future, I see it with you." I sat up and leaned against the wall of the bed alcove. "But it scares me. I don't know how to be a mother. And anyway," I looked at him pointedly. "Do we really want to bring a child-a Jedi child, no less-into this world? She'd always be in danger. And add on top of that, we'd have the worries of normal parents. For instance, we have no money."
Geith got up and pressed a finger to my lips. "At least think about it. And know that I think it's a good idea." He kissed me. "Let's not talk about this anymore," he said, lying down and pulling me down with him. With and exasperated sigh, I sank into the welcome respite of his arms, and eventually drifted off to sleep.
Ord Mantell swarmed with activity. We landed at the Spread Legs docking station and gathered our belongings. Everything we had brought fit in four large duffels that slung easily over our shoulders. Our apartment was furnished, and for the mast part paid for the Council.
"Have you ever been here before?" I asked Geith as he flagged down a speeder cab.
"Yeah, once," he replied. "But only in passing."
A bony hand grasped my arm. I looked down into the wide, toothless face of a ragged old man. "Come with me," he said, leaning closer. "I have things to show you." His eyebrows bobbed suggestively as his gnarled fingers snaked up to my shoulder. I pulled away in disgust, and Geith put himself between the two of us.
"What was that?" he asked.
The old man's ghoulish face paled, and he backpedaled several steps. "Uh, my mistake, lovely. Thought you were someone else." He shrank back into the crowds and disappeared.
"Welcome to Ord Mantell," I muttered as a speeder cab pulled up beside us. Geith and I stuffed our duffels in the cargo locker and climbed into the passenger seats.
"Where to?" the driver asked.
Geith told him the address, and the driver pulled onto the street and started driving. I laid down and put my head in Geith's lap. I was exhausted from our journey. I felt like I'd been walking on a wire high above the ground and I'd had to be alert the whole time. Now, finally, I'd been let down and I could rest.
"So where're ye folks from?" The driver asked suddenly.
"We just moved here from Coruscant," Geith said, in keeping with the alibi we'd cooked up. "We were getting tired of being woken up in the middle of the night by all the Jedi hunting going on in our block."
"Ah, I see," he said. "S'a pity, really, these purges. Mean, I'm no Jedi friendly, but I dunna like 'em killin' th' kids."
Geith nodded. "What's it like here? Much hunting going on?"
The driver snorted. "Ah, no. Any Jedi'd 'ave t'be crazy to set foot in this nest o' bounty 'unters. Every'un 'ere's got a big quarry goin'."
Geith nodded and stroked my blue hair. Change the subject, I thought urgently at him. People would get suspicious if we asked too many questions.
"So how about those Jazzy Mutants?" Geith asked, naming a particularly bad smashball team.
The rest of the conversation idled in sports until we got to our apartment block. "Hee ya'a," the driver said, turning around.
"Thanks," Geith said, paying him. We climbed out of the speeder and unloaded our bags. The cab pulled away and left us alone.
Our apartment was on the first floor of six. There was no landlord; rent was paid to some big company on Coruscant.
"Charming little place, isn't it?" Geith asked.
I nodded. "It does exude that hominess I've always wanted." I said.
Geith laughed as I set over of my duffels down and fished the keycard out of my leather pants. I waved it over the lock and dragged the bag I set down iside after the door opened.
The apartment smelled damp and musty. When Geith turned on the lights we scanned the room. Truth be told, it wasn't that bad. Clean, furnished, I couldn't complain.
"Better than I thought it'd be," Geith said, tossing his bags on the couch.
I made a noise of assent and set my other bag down. Geith shut the door. "Well," he said, turning around and slipping his arms around my waist. He kissed my neck.
"Hmmm...we need to unpack," I protested lamely.
"That can wait."
Luckily for us, our neighbors weren't exactly neighborly. They kept to themselves, and so did we. I got a job in one of the cantinas downtown, under the name Ellara Li. Geith started working in a garage. We were in contact with a lot of people, just like the Masters had wanted. Especially in the cantina, when people got drunk and didn't mind their words. It didn't take us very long to assess that not many people liked the Jedi anymore. The damage Palpatine had done was irreparable; now all we could do was pick up the pieces and hope that what we made was something even remotely resembling the old Order.
And there was still the troubling issue of a baby. Offhand, I knew it needed to be done, but it was like admitting you made a wrong turn: you had to, but doing so made you look stupid and that alone paralyzed your tongue. In the end, there was only one choice.
I usually worked later than Geith, but that night I feigned sickness and went home early. When Geith got home an hour later, I was sitting in the darkness, folded into a chair. Of course, he was surprised to see me there waiting for him. "What're you doing home so early?" he asked.
I shrugged and sat up, swinging my legs over the edge. "I made a decision," I said, reaching out to take his hand. He looked at me with something of a confused expression on his face.
"About what?"
I sighed. "About the baby." I watched his reaction as I said. "I want to do it."
His face changed six times: from confusion to surprise to amazement to excitement to disbelief and back to excitement. "Really?" he asked.
I smiled and nodded. "Yeah."
He bent over and kissed me. Thank you, I hear his thoughts. I stood up on the chair, and he picked me up and carried my into our bedroom. "Now?" he asked as I touched his scratchy face.
"Yes," I said, kissing him again. He laid me on the bed and fumbled with the closures of my outrageous costume.
That night, Geith held me more gently than he'd ever done when we made love. He cupped my head in one hand, and pressed me to him with his other hand against the small of my back. I felt his sweaty skin pressed against mine, his fingers intertwined with mine, his lips against mine before roving elsewhere. I tried to disregard the emotions surging through me and focus. The only way I could make sure I would get pregnant would be to use the Force, and so I did. Geith did the same. We were like two balls of light circling around each other, drawing closer and closer until finally we met and joined in one flash of brilliant light, blinding and powerful.
I sat on the bed with my back against the wall. My legs were pulled tight against my chest. My attention was focused inward, searching for any sign of a tiny life, growing inside me. Geith still slept beside me, on his back with one arm flopped over the side of the bed. The sheet gathered around his ribs, rising and falling with his breath. I knew how much he wanted this-he never would have asked me to do something I feared so much if he didn't want it so badly. I think I did it more for him than for the Jedi.
I reached out again, praying to feel the little baby that I wanted to be there. Still, I found nothing. I sighed in frustration and dropped my head to my knees. My motion woke Geith, and he reached out and stroked my thigh. "It's all right," he murmured, opening his eyes. He rolled on his stomach and examined my knee. "We'll keep trying."
I sighed and slid underneath him, seeking his warmth and comfort. "I don't understand it, Geith. I thought using the Force would make it happen."
Geith drew circles on my skin with a finger. "I think that it will make it happen. Just not today."
The cantina was incredibly busy that night. The word was that Nubblyk the Slyte was leaving on an extended run for new hideout zones, so his associates here were throwing him a huge going-away party.
"Ellara! Toss me the Saintly Sin!" Sugar, the old-but-young-looking owner, yelled to me. I grabbed the sculpted bottle and tossed it to her.
"Hey, beauty, what does it take to get a drink around here?"
I turned and faced the bar, where a loudly dressed old man sat leering at me. His oily skin glistened in the half light as his eyebrows rose and fell suggestively. Rolling my eyes, I leaned forward. "What'll it be?"
He smiled. "Hardest stuff you got, with a piece of you on the side." His eyes lowered just a little.
Please, I thought, but said, "Well, since I am the hardest thing we got, and I'm not a drink, you'll settle for some of the Saintly Sin. It's on special today, and cheaper than me anyway." I surreptitiously waved my hand in front of him as I spoke, subtly implanting the thought in his mind.
"On second thought, gimme some of the Saintly Sin. It's on special today, isn't it?"
I nodded, pouring him a shot. "Yep.'
"Cheaper than you, I bet," he added condescendingly, gulping down his shot. "Keep 'em coming."
I poured him another shot and walked away, surveying the patrons in their reveling.
"Hey!" Sugar shrieked, bringing me back to the matter at hand. I looked up to see her leaping up on top of the bar. Two men were circling and throwing punches. I jumped over the counter and pushed through the crowds. One of the men, I saw was the oily man I'd just served the Saintly Sin to. And whoever was fighting him was totally kicking his-
"Geith!" I shouted, as he punched the oily man again. I climbed up on the bar so I could jump between them, then remembered he had an alias. "Evin, stop it!"
"I'll teach you to hit on my girlfriend!"
"Evin! Leave him alone! He's not-" I was cut off by a sudden dizzy spell. I wobbled on my stiletto-heeled boots. Sugar grabbed my arm.
"Ell, you okay?"
Geith's face swam before my eyes. Heat erupted in my veins and seeped through my skin. Then my knees buckled under me, and my feet failed.
The next thing I knew, I was lying back in the break room, with Geith and Sugar watching me worriedly.
"Elly, you okay?" Geith asked, touching my face.
I groaned. "What happened?"
"You passed out," Sugar told me. "I think you hit your head on the bar when you went down. Do you feel okay?"
Then an idea struck me.
"I'm fine," I said. "Who's watching the bar?"
"I pulled Killian off his break," she said. "Tell you what, why don't you go home? Killian and I can manage fine. Evin, go ahead and take her home, honey."
Geith nodded. "Thanks, Sugar."
Sugar smiled and disappeared out into the bar. Geith helped me to sit up. "What happened?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I don't know, I just...got...really dizzy." I looked up. "Geith, I think..."
"You think what?"
I grabbed his hand and pressed it against my stomach. "You do it. I'm afraid to."
He looked at me with a spark of hope in his eyes. He looked at my stomach, closed his eyes and reached out through the Force. I could feel him probing me, searching for the tiny life growing inside my presence. A slow smile lifted the corners of his mouth. He squeezed my hand and I smiled and laughed.