Chapter Four: Shadows and the Sky
Obi-wan stepped into the corridor and made his way over to the shower room. His muscles ached more than ever and he felt exhausted as he hung his cloak up and proceeded to divest himself of his sticky tunic. He shook his head and wiped away the sweat that was threatening to run into his eyes. His mind was blank but at the same time he was utterly angry with himself.
The water came pouring down over his head and he merely let it run down his body. He reached out with his senses and searched for his master's presence. Qui-gon was nowhere nearby, which reassured his Padawan, for of all times, this was not the best to have a chat with his strict master. It would probably bring him more reprimands. What was he supposed to do now? Physically exhausting himself obviously didn't take his mind off of matters; it only served to emphasize his weakness. Obi-wan sighed and turned off the water. Perhaps it would be nice to just wander around the aerial city for a time.
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The light from Coruscant's suns shone down on the bustling city, and it was blinding, reflected off of every metallic surface. Obi-wan hopped into a vacant speeder and looked over the edge at the rows and rows of traffic. Maybe it would be interesting to see if he could get down to the bottom of the city. The real surface of the planet. He doubted anyone had ever decided to venture down so far. Just as he was leaning over the edge of the speeder, though, someone spoke to him.
"Don't fall. That would be a mess to clean up."
Obi-wan pulled himself up and looked at the speaker, more certain that he knew who it was than anything else he had ever felt certain about. "Fine day, isn't it, Miss Parell?" His voice carried as much sarcasm as hers had.
"A bit bright. I never cared for this city anyway." His eyes cast over her and he noticed she had discarded her Jedi clothing and was instead clothed in the garb of the civilians. She was wearing a white, sleeveless tunic and black pants, but she still wore the black Jedi boots. Her hair was down for the first time he had ever seen, most probably to conceal the Padawan braid tucked behind her ear. He smiled inwardly and then looked down at his own telltale Jedi clothing. He just realized he probably didn't want to be singled out in a crowd. Obi-wan considered it at first a point of pride, but after a while the awed looks from people and, usually, children, became trite. He reproved himself for not remembering to disguise himself.
Obi-wan looked back up at her. If she had just been passing and saying hello, she would have already been gone. But she wasn't. The cold shower had nearly made him forget about her, so immersed was he in his own anger at himself. He realized she was waiting for something.
"You seem to follow me everywhere."
"You disappeared and I followed you when I found you walking towards the speeder platform. Our training isn't over yet, partner."
He looked indifferent. "I felt I should take a break. I've done enough training already."
Akura shook her head and suddenly hopped into the passenger side of the speeder.
"What are you doing?"
"Going with you."
"Why? And why did you follow me in the first place?" Obi-wan scrutinized her cheerful face as she gazed around at her surroundings, and then looked up as a speeder grazed overhead, leaving a blast of warm wind. She gazed up for a few more moments, her eyes searching the speeder-ridden sky. She suddenly turned to him.
"I…um…sorry. I mean, I want to apologize, for what I said to you. And you can't deny that it bothered you."
Great, she's being gracious again. Apologize for what? For showing me that I'm nothing more than an arrogant fool who can be beaten by anyone? "Don't apologize."
"Why not? You certainly didn't take it well. And it's my fault, really, for…well, rubbing it in, I suppose." He could see the guilt in her eyes.
She was being so nice he wanted to scream. "What were you going to do? Let me win? That would be just the same. I can't deny that you're better than me."
"I'm not." He brought his gaze back from the lively city to her face then, and saw that the look in her eyes said she was completely sincere. "I know now, that, believe it or not, I was trying to help you. You're amazing. Everyone has heard about you and envied you in some way or another. You're possibly the best and most talented Padawan to come along since…well, it's been a long time."
Obi-wan was taken by surprise. She was being utterly genuine and she wasn't mocking him at all. And she wasn't going to follow that up like the previous time with a blunt censure. That's a first. He shook his head angrily. "Best? Talented? Only what you would say, because you don't know me. What makes you care? If helping me is what you call telling me I'm hopeless and then proving it to me to make me feel worthless, then you're probably right. You aren't coming along with me."
"Where are you going, then?" He avoided looking at her because he knew she was offended although she hid the hurt inflection in her voice very well.
"To the bottom of the city." Why did he answer her question truthfully? Maybe involuntarily, he thought, he wanted her to come along anyway. She was, of course, a very interesting person. And she talked to him on equal terms, much the opposite of those timid conversations he held with the other younger Padawans, their eyes brimmed with awe. That reminded him, suddenly, that he had been wondering how young she really was. She was just a few inches shorter than him but there was unmistakable youth in her features.
"The bottom?" she was saying with a laugh, "why would you want to go to the bottom? It would take you hours to navigate through all this traffic for miles until you finally reached the surface of Coruscant. And then it wouldn't have been worth it once you reached it because it's just a litter-ridden place hidden in the shadows of everything above. Nothing lives down there but shadows. Even the people of the slums live almost a mile above the bottom."
Obi-wan knew she was right, but he knew there was something else that propelled him to reach the bottom. He knew it was foolish but he explained anyway, because when he had seen her look up at the speeder passing overhead he saw her eyes searching the sky like his had many times before.
"I want to go down there because even if I know there's nothing but darkness, something in me wants to search out the beauty of lush greenery. Something natural. A forest, a plain, a meadow, anything natural. And when I look up, I want to see the blue clear sky like I've seen it on other planets when I went with Qui-gon." He felt embarrassed at his words and wanted to hit himself for forgetting that he still hated her. She was such an odd person, really. And that was why he didn't hate her—in fact, he was beginning to like her.
"Maybe it's inherent in us, a preference for natural beauty rather than the common crudeness we make ourselves. I've never seen it, though."
"Seen what?" He finally brought himself to look at her and saw that she was slouched in the seat, her gaze directed up at the multitude of traffic again.
"What you talk about. The sky."
Obi-wan felt a smile play across his face. He looked at her and couldn't help thinking that there was an extremely unusual but somehow natural beauty in her too. "You've never seen it? Do you mean, you have never seen another planet since you were brought here to be trained as a Jedi?"
She nodded and he noted the yearning in her features to escape. "I was brought here before I was even a year old and I don't remember anything else. Except for this huge bright aerial city."
"That reminds me," he brought up suddenly, "I had been wondering where you were from. Your voice carries a strange accent. How long ago were you brought here?"
"About fifteen years ago. I don't know where I'm from. I can never quite get rid of my accent no matter how long I stay around others." She was grimacing.
Obi-wan smiled again. She looked at him questioningly. "You're…different than I thought you were," he said haltingly.
Akura smiled and shook her head. He noticed she was blushing slightly. He had completely forgotten about his desire to reach the surface of the planet after talking with her. She was a very strange but intriguing person, to put it simply, and he couldn't deny that he felt attracted to her. Of all people, I end up liking her? Sometimes I don't even understand myself.
He looked away and gazed around for a few moments then glanced at her again. She was smiling at him, surprisingly. "I thought you to be a conceited fool," she admitted. "I was wrong, of course, just as you were wrong about me."
"But you're right--" He hesitated. "You're right, of course. I am conceited and arrogant."
"The fact that you can recognize it means you aren't."
"No…I…"
"I pointed that out to you because I wanted to help you. Most people hate themselves if someone tells them something that's unpleasant, and true."
"I do hate myself."
"Not anymore, I don't think." She was looking at him knowingly and he suddenly felt himself blushing. He inwardly cursed at himself. "If you can accept it then you can change it. And I think you already have."
Obi-wan shrugged. It was true, though, he didn't feel angry at himself any longer. He sighed and then looked down at his hands resting in his lap. "Strange place to be, sitting in a speeder and not going anywhere in this city where everyone goes places in a hurry." He felt her eyes on him and suddenly grinned at her. And then he did something he had not even known how to do, and something he wouldn't have done had he given himself the chance to think about it first. He leaned over and kissed her.
To his shock, she didn't pull back or protest. Instead, she kissed him back. But then she drew back and he could see that she looked flustered. "I…um, I…need to…go," she stuttered, and he watched her jump out of the speeder and onto the platform. But she stopped there and stood looking at him. He felt like he was floating as he followed her out of the speeder. Just when he reached the platform he felt her hands on the sides of his face and her lips against his again.
She drew back again but this time her eyes were confused as they stared at him and her brow furrowed in the effort of what he knew was an inner argument, for he felt the same. But a reckless abandon was upon him and he was lost in the throes of youthful passion. He felt immune to everything and on top of the world.
"No, Obi-wan, you know that—well, we both know that…that…"
"I don't care," he heard himself whispering. He felt only a need to be touching her again. But she stepped back again.
"We can't do this. What if someone is watching? What if Yoda finds out?! Or Qui-gon? Or—" She suddenly fell silent. "Strange things happen at the strangest times, in the strangest places," she remarked. She laughed.
Obi-wan's heart did a flip when he heard her laughter. He grinned at her again. "And to the strangest two people. Unusual circumstances, are they not?" He felt foolish but he felt suddenly happy and every other notion was completely wiped out of his mind. "We have more training to do, right?" he asked quietly.
"Uhm, yes. Yes, we do. But I'm tired, I think. This evening, maybe?" Obi-wan nodded and, with a shy smile, she disappeared into the building. A smile touched his lips and remained there while he walked back through the winding corridor.
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Obi-wan approached his small room but suddenly was taken aback. He halted and swallowed in dread. Qui-gon was knocking on his room door. He must have been knocking for a while, for he turned away in annoyance and upon looking up, saw his Padawan standing in the hallway with an unmistakable expression of bliss written on his face.
"Where have you been, my young Padawan? It is well into the afternoon. You should be training."
"I…" He cast about hastily for an excuse. "I was showering, master. After training I felt rather uncomfortable." Well, at least that was true, just not the entire truth. Obi-wan shot up his mind barriers and prayed that Qui-gon wouldn't notice.
This time his prayers were answered. Qui-gon looked reprovingly at his apprentice and then shrugged. "Very well, then. I was coming to tell you that I'm leaving for Darruin upon the Council's orders. I trust you will be all right here?" From the look on his face, Obi-wan could tell Qui-gon was waiting for an exclamation of protest.
"Yes, master. Isn't it against regulations or something of the sort?"
"What?"
"I always thought the master and the apprentice were not separated."
"Well, that is true, but Yoda permitted it. You are, of course, not mentally unstable or anything, and we believe it would be for the best to stay here, anyhow."
"Yes, master." Obi-wan tried not to smile at the look of surprise on his master's face.
"Very well then. I shall be back in several days. Be wary and patient with yourself, mindful of the future but keep your mind in the present." Qui-gon nodded at Obi-wan and began strolling down the hall.
"May the Force be with you, master."
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"Convenient for you, wasn't it?" Anakin was asking. Obi-wan grinned mischievously at the memory.
"Why, yes, it was. But, young Anakin, my story is not finished yet and the things I tell you about are things you still should not do. And--" he added, for Anakin was on the verge of offering an argument, "my doing these things as a reckless fool of a Padawan does not justify in any way that you follow in my shadow."
"Yes, master. Of course not."
But Obi-wan heard that listless reply and saw the beginnings of a grin on his apprentice's face. "Why do you think I would tell you a story if it did not serve my own teaching purposes?"
"Oh, of course. This ends in tragedy, just to tell me that following your heart is not what you should do because it leads you to do rash and foolish things and can set an imbalance to the Force…"
"Anakin!" Obi-wan exclaimed. "You do not jest with these matters. Perhaps you know my point already, but you have not yet heard the story."
Anakin smiled to himself. Yes, master, I know. And do not worry, even if I jest or make fun at you and your moral-ridden stories, this one involves something I already know too well.
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