Title: Volva a Scelus
Author: Katu Backwards
Author email: katubish@hotmail.com
Rating: R (ish)
Summary: When a new boy begins school at Hogwarts, everything goes splodey. Sex, Voldemort, arguments, secrets, heroism, blood, and fluffy kittens named Foofkins.
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and so on, do not belong to me. As you might have guessed. Chaos Aberidge is mine, Jupiter is mine, so on and so forth. Use 'em if you want, just link me. By link me I mean give me the link.
The normal rule goes, if you want to know when I update, leave your e-mail in a review and tell me so. I can think of nothing to disprove this.
Constructive criticism welcome and encouraged.
Various mild ideas including but not limited to; humour style, beginning-of-chapter information, ending-of-chapter summary, and some random information (ie - Draco's middle name being Thomas, etc), borrowed from the oh-so-talented, charmingly bohemian, tragically impoverish writer Cassandra Claire.
And now we return you to your regularly scheduled fic.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day began rather normally. Jupiter got up reluctantly, cursing at the sun in her eyes. She had woken up early again, not something that generally happened to her. But then, she'd fallen asleep rather early the previous day, so it was to be expected. She dressed lazily, in her normal white, button-up shirt, Slytherin tie, and long skirt. Over them, her school robes. She languished for the moment in her tidy room. Her bed was the centrepiece, with three large cathedral windows above it. On the wall opposite the door was her mirror and vanity, and adjacent to that, her large chest of drawers. Her floor was covered in a plush green carpeting that was soft to the eye and to the foot.
Ah, feet, right. Jupiter rummaged around in her drawers and found her favorite socks, a pair of over-the-knee socks with thick black and white stripes. She'd gotten them from Draco, years ago. Jupiter sighed and put on some shoes. She wandered down to the common room, where there was only one person.
"Lady," came a familiar voice across the room. Jupiter started - it was Chaos. Of all the people she didn't want to see at six in the morning...
"I've got to go," said Jupiter briskly, edging past him on the other side of the room from him. But it was of no use, he followed her. "Look, Chaos..." Jupiter sighed. "In all honesty, you creep the living hell out of me. You follow me, you stare at me, you SMELL ME, and you're just generally making me nervous. Please, leave me alone."
"I wanted to see the Lady," Chaos Grinned, and grabbed Jupiter's wrist. She cried out, and tried to tug her arm away, but to no avail. Then she saw it. In Chaos's other hand was a glint of silver - a knife.
***
Harry chuckled. "You know, I never thought of you as a human."
Draco nodded. "Me neither. Not me, I mean. You. Forget it." Harry laughed again.
"It's so weird, you know? Like, I always assumed-"
"Harry, don't bother telling me. I know." Draco said, and Harry nodded.
"Jupiter, on the other hand, I don't know if I can stand," he added, with a touch of annoyance. Draco smiled.
"She's like that. Kind of hard to get used to. But when you can tell she's joking, which she generally is, she's really funny."
"Funny," Harry repeated, as if he didn't think Jupiter's dry sarcasm was the least bit humourous.
"Well," said Draco, "I didn't ask you to like her."
"I won't, then," said Harry.
***
"Get the hell away from me!" Jupiter cried, and jerked hard, like a fish caught on a hook. But Chaos wouldn't let go. She was going to die, she knew it. She was going to die at the hands of this - she fell backwards into the door, his grip had slipped. She wasted no time in bolting out of the common room and down to the Great Hall. She searched around the Slytherin table for Draco, with no sign of him.
She cursed and made her way slowly, cautiously around the school. After an hour or so of nervous wandering, she ended back at the common room. She inched the door open a bit, and found, to her delight, that the room was full of Slytherins, and not one of them was Chaos.
***
"Mhhmm..."
"Draco! Get your big nose out of that note and talk to me!" Jupiter shouted, and ripped the note from Draco's hands. He glared up at her.
"I was listening, don't worry."
"Well?!"
"I think you're overreacting. Now, can I have my note from Champagne back?" he asked indignantly, trying to take the paper from Jupiter.
"Draco, I'm serious. He's trying to kill me!" she said, and Draco laughed.
"Jupiter, come on. You're freaking out."
"No, Draco...He had a knife! He was going to kill me!"
"Yes, yes, Jupiter. We've established that. I just think you're making too big a deal out of it."
"Making too big a deal out of it?! Draco, my life's in danger! Now stop acting like I'm delusional or I'll read this letter out loud!" she cried, holding up the letter threateningly.
"You wouldn't..." Draco glared at her.
"Want to bet that I wouldn't?" she asked, looking at him angrily.
"Yes..." Draco said, but his voice sounded uncertain.
"Attention everyone!" Jupiter shouted, and the room turned to look, "'Dear Draco,' writes Champange, that stupid tart, 'I find myself more and more drawn to your manly attr...'"
"All right! All right! I take it back! Give that here!" Draco interrupted, grabbing the sheet from Jupiter's fingers. The common room returned to what they were doing, reluctantly. "I'm sorry I made light of your situation, Jupiter. But what do you want me to do about it?"
Jupiter sat quiet for a moment. "I don't know..."
***
Jupiter spent the rest of her week avoiding Chaos at all costs. She would skip the classes she had with him, and eat in her room, often accompanied by Draco, or by Deviancy. She rarely hung out in the common room any more, and feared wandering around the corridors by herself. She was incredibly paranoid, always expecting Chaos to be around every corner, behind every door. What didn't help was the fact that he tended to be in exactly those places about a third of the time.
***
It was Defense Against the Dark Arts class, and Jupiter was skipping, to avoid Chaos. Jupiter was an over-achiever, but that never stopped her from breaking rules. She was devoted to her job, yes, and to her school, but the person she was most of all devoted to was herself, something all too rare these days.
She was irked, that she had to hide like this, she thought, playing with a pigtail absently. She didn't want to live the rest of her time at school hiding from a madman. She would have to talk to someone about it. Perhaps even get him expelled. In any case, she would get her way. She always got her way.
And currently, she was getting her way across a stream outside of Hogsmeade. She was hopping from stone to stone quietly, while she thought of Severus. He'd had to leave again, and they had a substitute, a crotchety old woman who was very nice, but she smelled of eggs and Jupiter despised her. She missed Snape a lot, and she was just thinking of how nice it would be to hug him when she fell into the stream.
She cursed and looked down spitefully at her clothes. She'd taken off her school robes at the end of this small forest and hidden them under a rock. Instead, she was wearing her undershirt and a pair of pants (yes, even purebloods wear pants). Now from the knees down on those pants were soaked. She'd have to change before her next class.
She climbed out of the shallow brook and continued walking, slightly miffed. Still, the sun was warm and the leaves were bright reds, oranges, and yellows. Jupiter was content. She'd never been into this forest before, and had been surprised at the amount of magical creatures in held. A wild puffskein had bounced up to her, squishing madly. She'd patted it, and it squeaked and bounced away. She was searching the forest for any neat creatures, scanning the bushes and trees.
She was so happy, in fact, to be rid of Chaos, that she didn't notice him perched in the tree before her. His knees were up by either side of his head, his hands gripping the branch below him. He looked like a grasshopper, or a frog. Jupiter, however, didn't know this until she turned her head to the side and looked up, having heard a rustling.
The boy was shirtless, but he was wearing long, flowing black robes, and had his hood up so far that she could barely see his face. But the glint of the sun of his teeth, bared in a strange rictus of a grin that he employed so often, Jupiter recognized him instantly.
She shrieked, and took off at a run. Chaos pounced down from the tree and began chasing her with effortless bounds.
As Jupiter ran around a clump of oaks, she felt her lungs give a warning twinge. "Oh please," she thought hopelessly, "Not now, not now... I don't have my wand, I left it in the clearing..." But it was to no avail. She could feel her chest tightening, could feel her airways swell and contract. She turned around and saw Chaos pursuing her like a fox chasing after a wounded bird, lazy, carefree, and deadly.
He was much better equipped for this exertion than Jupiter was, and Jupiter was so focused on getting away from Chaos while maintaining oxygen intake, that she totally failed to wonder what he was doing hiding in a tree in a forest. She also failed to notice the lack of ground below her until she began falling.
Her arms flailed wildly until she grabbed hold of a jutting rock. She scrabbled for purchase, and it wasn't until she felt safe that she would not fall yet that she looked down. It was a mistake. It was a long way down, at least a hundred feet, and Jupiter didn't feel as secure with her foot and handholds. She didn't dare risk screaming, lest the filling of her lungs shove her off the cliff face. Not that she could fill her lungs properly anyway, in her state.
She could only stare around herself furiously, looking for a safe way to climb up. There didn't seem to be one. And that wasn't her most pressing problem. Her chest was so tight with her illness that she didn't think her fingers could cling to the rough stone anymore. She closed her eyes, but willed herself not to pass out.
Her eyes burned at the edges, she was going to die. All because she'd been stupid, and had skipped class. It was all her fault. Why, why did she have to fail at everything she did? It was hard enough to deal with having your best not being good enough, but now she was going to die of it. She cursed her asthma, cursed herself, and cursed Chaos.
But she didn't have much time to curse anything else before her eyelids began to flutter as she let go of consciousness.
The next moment was mostly a blur. She remembered Chaos peering over the edge. He was surely going to watch her fall, make sure she died. But then he didn't. Then everything went black, and she felt her weak fingers let go of the cliff face. She remembered the feeling of flying through the air, the feeling of landing heavily somewhere soft.
She remembered flicking her eyes open and seeing Chaos's concerned face above her. Then she passed out for a good long time.
***
When she awaoke, it was like waking up from a well-needed sleep. She stretched luxuriously as the bright yellow morning sun brushed across her pale face. She rubbed her face hard, as if trying to wake it up. Then she groaned and sat up.
She was in the Hospital Wing. She was also alone. She was about to stand when she heard voices outside the curtain.
"-going to be all right." came Madam Pomfrey's voice. "She just needed her lungs to be re-opened. All though I must say, it's lucky we caught her when we did. She might not have been alive had he brought her in ten minutes late."
"Well, then let us be grateful he did." Jupiter's heart jumped - Severus! He had come to check on her! "And not dwell on what might have been," he added, coldly. "However, I did come with the intention of seeing her." Jupiter smiled.
"Well," said Madam Pomfrey, "If she's awake, possibly. I'll go check."
Jupiter tried to look perky, though she didn't feel particularly energetic. Pomfrey looked surprised, but not in a bad way. "I see you are awake. Are you all right?"
Jupiter nodded. "I'm great! And if you please, miss, I would like to see Se - Professor Snape."
Pomfrey looked stern but nodded after a moment. Then she left. Within moment, Snape rushed into Jupiter's curtained area, looking concerned but happy.
"Jupiter!" he cried, and hugged her. Jupiter was happily shocked at this sudden display of affection, but it appeared Snape had noticed it, too, and had brought himself back down to normal. He patted Jupiter comfortingly on the head, and Jupiter kissed his shoulder.
Despite himself, Severus felt his mouth twitch up at the corners. Jupiter may have been a lot of trouble, and rude, sarcastic, and annoying while she was at it, but she could be awfully endearing sometimes.
"Jupiter," he said quietly, "What happened?"
Jupiter told him everything, and when she finally finished, Snape looked genuinely shocked.
"The first thing that comes to mind to say is, 'I didn't know you had asthma'," Snape said, rather lamely. Jupiter laughed.
"Well I do."
"And the second things is, I'm at a loss towards whether or not we should speak to Dumbledore about Chaos. He did, after all, bring you in to us. It appears, actually, that he saved your life."
Jupiter looked accepting of it. She wasn't sure she liked the boy, but she wouldn't be quite so scared of him anymore. She got off the bed and stood, shakily.
"I have to get my wand," she stated simply, and Severus looked at her, concerned. Jupiter hugged him tightly, and Severus could do naught but hug her back. When she finally let go of him, she poked him and said, "I love you, Severus. Thank you for visiting me."
And with that, she left. Severus sat down heavily and sighed. She was an odd girl.
***
Jupiter went to the clearing she'd left her wand in. It was probably about lunchtime, and Jupiter hoped she wouldn't be missing it. She was starving. Aha, her wand. She picked it up and pocketed it. She began heading back towards the school when a shadow crept out of the foliage before her.
Jupiter didn't scream, she recognized the gangly sort of way the creature moved.
"Chaos," she said, "What are you doing out here?"
Chaos smiled and said nothing.
"Chaos, why are you here? Were you following me?"
"Perhaps."
Jupiter was surprised. It was almost a sane sentence.
"Look, let's go back to school. I know you saved me, I know you're not trying to kill me, let's just go inside, and you can stop acting like a maniac."
Chaos's smile faded instantly and instead, he looked inquisitive in the same way a parrot might look inquisitive. Jupiter shook her head, grabbed the boy's wrist, and dragged him back to school.
***
Title: Volva a Scelus
Author: Katu Backwards
Author email: katubish@hotmail.com
Rating: R (ish)
Summary: When a new boy begins school at Hogwarts, everything goes splodey. Sex, Voldemort, arguments, secrets, heroism, blood, and fluffy kittens named Foofkins.
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and so on, do not belong to me. As you might have guessed. Chaos Aberidge is mine, Jupiter is mine, so on and so forth. Use 'em if you want, just link me. By link me I mean give me the link.
The normal rule goes, if you want to know when I update, leave your e-mail in a review and tell me so. I can think of nothing to disprove this.
Constructive criticism welcome and encouraged.
Various mild ideas including but not limited to; humour style, beginning-of-chapter information, ending-of-chapter summary, and some random information (ie - Draco's middle name being Thomas, etc), borrowed from the oh-so-talented, charmingly bohemian, tragically impoverish writer Cassandra Claire.
And now we return you to your regularly scheduled fic.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Draco spied Jupiter and Chaos re-entering the building together and his eyes widened.
"Off shagging in the forest, were you?" he said. Jupiter gave him a glare and then looked at Chaos to see if Draco had embarrassed him (something Draco was tops at). Instead of the normal blush, Chaos just grinned, as if he hadn't heard it. Jupiter shrugged and looked at Draco.
"So, I thought you were scared to death of him," Draco said, a little bitterly.
"Well, I was. And then he sort of saved my life."
"He what? How did he do that?" Draco cried.
"Well, I was running through a forest and I fell off a cliff and he saved me. Honestly, Draco, does it matter that much?"
"So are you making marriage plans or what?" he scowled, definitely looking sour.
"Jesus, Draco, what crawled up your arse and died? Potter been teasing you again?"
"Shut up, Jupiter. No one asked you."
"Ah, so it IS boyfriend troubles. What'd he do now?" Jupiter asked, and Draco blushed fiercely.
"Oh shut up. It's not Potter, it's Champagne," he whispered harshly, glaring into Jupiter's face.
"Why," asked Jupiter, pouting, "Did she not owl you today?"
Draco looked angry, and Jupiter looked back at him in amusement, but didn't tease him.
"Don't worry, your next issue of Sex Weekly is probably in the mail. Coincedentally, is it lunchtime yet?"
"No, it's not. Anyway, I have to go."
Jupiter nodded, and Draco made his way down the hallway. Jupiter turned to tell Chaos that she had to go, but he was gone. She shrugged and walked towards her next class.
***
Jupiter flopped down in the seat next to Harry Potter in Arithmancy, after apologizing to the teacher for being late. She leaned over to Potter and began talking in hushed tones, totally drowned out by the chatter of students as they worked on their homework.
"Hey, Potter. Where's Ron?" she asked him, smiling.
"I love the way you call me Potter, but him Ron. Not that it's any of your business, but Ron's in the hospital wing. Now bugger off, you pesky Slytherin," he said coldly, looking down to his book. But Jupiter would not relent.
"Why's he there?" she asked.
"Because he and I got into a fight and I broke his nose! Now go away!"
"Why'd you hit him?"
"GODS! Jupiter, GO AWAY!" he shouted, and the class turned to look at him. He blushed, and sat silent while the chatter started up again.
"All right, all right. No more questions about Ron," Jupiter said, pretending to wave a white flag, "But tell me, what's up with you and Draco?"
"What about us?"
"You're friends, right?"
Harry nodded. "I guess."
Jupiter smiled at him. "Well, I tell you what. If you turn him into a pansy Gryffindork, you'll have taken away one of my best friends, and I will personally strangle you."
Harry glared at her, and they remained silent for the rest of the class.
***
She made her way to the attic for Advanced Divination, and ran into Chaos halfway up. She smiled at him warily and he came up to her. She noted with pleasure the incredulous looks they got as they walked up the stairs together.
"Lady is good?"
"I'm fine, thank you, Chaos. How are you?"
"I'm very well. I'm excited about Divination."
"Why's this?" Jupiter found herself being amazed that Chaos could feel anything, much less express it. She felt bad for thinking of him as stupid, when he was probably just a little unstable.
"Because Ms. Trelawney says I have the most interesting aura she's ever seen."
Jupiter wasn't sure she wanted to tell him of Trelawney's often misguided dramatics. She decided not to. They arrived in class, and Harry was sitting on the opposite side of the room, with Draco. Odd, Draco wasn't in this class. Jupiter looked around as children came in and sat down. Then her eyes traveled back to Draco and Harry. They were talking animatedly about something, and then Harry gave the Slytherin a playful shove.
Jupiter blinked, and did a mental double take. She was sure she'd just seen Draco and Harry messing around in public. She was positive. She looked at Harry, who was laughing. So was Draco, actually. Good gods, they were almost flirting! She knew she should be happy for him, but she couldn't help but think that she had nothing to hold over Draco's head now. Nothing but his limited (im)moral code was keeping her and Severus's secret from the world. In short, she was worried.
Chaos seemed to notice her distress, and laid one of his huge, long-fingered hands on hers. Her hands were still riddled with long, sweeping scars from the Hall of Shadow, she noted. She'd learned to ignore them recently, but she remembered them when Chaos touched her. She shuddered to feel the boy's hand on hers, and pulled it away. She looked up into his face, which was, for once, not twisted into his strange rictus of a smile. It was a little concerned, but it mostly looked devoid of any emotion. He was rather attractive like this, with his thin, strong jaw line and his longish nose. His good eye was a startling shade of green, and it glittered with a sparkle that contrived to look maniacal in a pleasant way.
Just then, class started. Trelawney floated out into the classroom, dabbing at her eyes with a pink handkerchief.
"Good afternoon, class," she breathed, with a tragic smile. She glanced with something akin to hope at Harry, "I wish that your wounds heal soon, poor dear." Harry rolled his eyes, but allowed the comment. Trelawney had better people to pick on, now. Harry's heart went out to the poor new sap. This 'new sap' happened to be Chaos.
"Oh dear!" Trelawney cried, rather overdramatically, "Jason, I've just had a vision!"
Jupiter rolled her eyes. This was a new one. Chaos looked intrigued.
"It was of you, standing in a clearing, with many others, dressed all in black! No faces can be seen, it appears to be some sort of funeral, with everyone standing in a circle around a grave of some sort!"
Jupiter snapped to attention when she heard the part about the circle, and then became so deeply involved in thought that she didn't listen to another word. She knew what that sounded like. She'd been familiar with it since she was very young. It was the only circle in the world you never wanted to be on the inside of. Still, Trelawney was probably making it up.
After a long period of tea leaves and picking on Chaos, Trelawney dismissed the class. Jupiter looked over at Chaos, who'd been forecasted to die, kill, and download ICQ within the next couple of days. He looked pleased as punch. Jupiter shook her head, laughing. Chaos probably didn't even know what Trelawney was talking about. She gathered her bag, and waited for Chaos at the door. They walked to the common room together.
***
"Hullo, Draco, darling. How are you?" Jupiter called in a sing-song voice, dropping her bag on the Slytherin coffee table and plopping down next to her blonde-haired friend.
"I'm great!" Draco exclaimed, looking sincerely enthusiastic for once.
"I guessed. Was that hug to Harry a we're-such-good-friends hug, or a let's-shag-in-the-bathrooms-after-class hug?" she joked, poking Draco in the ribs. She didn't want to admit it, but she was a little jealous. She didn't have anyone to hug her.
Draco blushed, "So how are you?"
"Nice avoidance. I'm all right. I just wanted to stop by to threaten your life."
"Why? What'd I do now?"
"Well, since your secret's out, I have no means of keeping my secret from popping out your mouth every five seconds. So I just wanted to let you know that if you tell anyone, I'll kill you," she said airily, with a grin.
Draco smiled and nodded. Then he stood up and began to leave.
"Where the hell are you going, my dear Malfoy?"
Draco gave Jupiter a sardonic look over his shoulder. "I'm off to shag Potter in the bathroom, of course."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Coming up next: What's going on with Harry? Can Draco keep Jupiter's secret? Is Draco really going to shag Potter? In the bathroom, of all places? Tune in next time for Volva a Scelus, which continues to sound obscene. It really isn't, though. Even though it sounds like some sort of weird body part, like that bit between your vagina and your...nevermind.
Coming up next on the Katu Channel, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood!
Author: Katu Backwards
Author email: katubish@hotmail.com
Rating: R (ish)
Summary: When a new boy begins school at Hogwarts, everything goes splodey. Sex, Voldemort, arguments, secrets, heroism, blood, and fluffy kittens named Foofkins.
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and so on, do not belong to me. As you might have guessed. Chaos Aberidge is mine, Jupiter is mine, so on and so forth. Use 'em if you want, just link me. By link me I mean give me the link.
The normal rule goes, if you want to know when I update, leave your e-mail in a review and tell me so. I can think of nothing to disprove this.
Constructive criticism welcome and encouraged.
Various mild ideas including but not limited to; humour style, beginning-of-chapter information, ending-of-chapter summary, and some random information (ie - Draco's middle name being Thomas, etc), borrowed from the oh-so-talented, charmingly bohemian, tragically impoverish writer Cassandra Claire.
And now we return you to your regularly scheduled fic.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day began rather normally. Jupiter got up reluctantly, cursing at the sun in her eyes. She had woken up early again, not something that generally happened to her. But then, she'd fallen asleep rather early the previous day, so it was to be expected. She dressed lazily, in her normal white, button-up shirt, Slytherin tie, and long skirt. Over them, her school robes. She languished for the moment in her tidy room. Her bed was the centrepiece, with three large cathedral windows above it. On the wall opposite the door was her mirror and vanity, and adjacent to that, her large chest of drawers. Her floor was covered in a plush green carpeting that was soft to the eye and to the foot.
Ah, feet, right. Jupiter rummaged around in her drawers and found her favorite socks, a pair of over-the-knee socks with thick black and white stripes. She'd gotten them from Draco, years ago. Jupiter sighed and put on some shoes. She wandered down to the common room, where there was only one person.
"Lady," came a familiar voice across the room. Jupiter started - it was Chaos. Of all the people she didn't want to see at six in the morning...
"I've got to go," said Jupiter briskly, edging past him on the other side of the room from him. But it was of no use, he followed her. "Look, Chaos..." Jupiter sighed. "In all honesty, you creep the living hell out of me. You follow me, you stare at me, you SMELL ME, and you're just generally making me nervous. Please, leave me alone."
"I wanted to see the Lady," Chaos Grinned, and grabbed Jupiter's wrist. She cried out, and tried to tug her arm away, but to no avail. Then she saw it. In Chaos's other hand was a glint of silver - a knife.
***
Harry chuckled. "You know, I never thought of you as a human."
Draco nodded. "Me neither. Not me, I mean. You. Forget it." Harry laughed again.
"It's so weird, you know? Like, I always assumed-"
"Harry, don't bother telling me. I know." Draco said, and Harry nodded.
"Jupiter, on the other hand, I don't know if I can stand," he added, with a touch of annoyance. Draco smiled.
"She's like that. Kind of hard to get used to. But when you can tell she's joking, which she generally is, she's really funny."
"Funny," Harry repeated, as if he didn't think Jupiter's dry sarcasm was the least bit humourous.
"Well," said Draco, "I didn't ask you to like her."
"I won't, then," said Harry.
***
"Get the hell away from me!" Jupiter cried, and jerked hard, like a fish caught on a hook. But Chaos wouldn't let go. She was going to die, she knew it. She was going to die at the hands of this - she fell backwards into the door, his grip had slipped. She wasted no time in bolting out of the common room and down to the Great Hall. She searched around the Slytherin table for Draco, with no sign of him.
She cursed and made her way slowly, cautiously around the school. After an hour or so of nervous wandering, she ended back at the common room. She inched the door open a bit, and found, to her delight, that the room was full of Slytherins, and not one of them was Chaos.
***
"Mhhmm..."
"Draco! Get your big nose out of that note and talk to me!" Jupiter shouted, and ripped the note from Draco's hands. He glared up at her.
"I was listening, don't worry."
"Well?!"
"I think you're overreacting. Now, can I have my note from Champagne back?" he asked indignantly, trying to take the paper from Jupiter.
"Draco, I'm serious. He's trying to kill me!" she said, and Draco laughed.
"Jupiter, come on. You're freaking out."
"No, Draco...He had a knife! He was going to kill me!"
"Yes, yes, Jupiter. We've established that. I just think you're making too big a deal out of it."
"Making too big a deal out of it?! Draco, my life's in danger! Now stop acting like I'm delusional or I'll read this letter out loud!" she cried, holding up the letter threateningly.
"You wouldn't..." Draco glared at her.
"Want to bet that I wouldn't?" she asked, looking at him angrily.
"Yes..." Draco said, but his voice sounded uncertain.
"Attention everyone!" Jupiter shouted, and the room turned to look, "'Dear Draco,' writes Champange, that stupid tart, 'I find myself more and more drawn to your manly attr...'"
"All right! All right! I take it back! Give that here!" Draco interrupted, grabbing the sheet from Jupiter's fingers. The common room returned to what they were doing, reluctantly. "I'm sorry I made light of your situation, Jupiter. But what do you want me to do about it?"
Jupiter sat quiet for a moment. "I don't know..."
***
Jupiter spent the rest of her week avoiding Chaos at all costs. She would skip the classes she had with him, and eat in her room, often accompanied by Draco, or by Deviancy. She rarely hung out in the common room any more, and feared wandering around the corridors by herself. She was incredibly paranoid, always expecting Chaos to be around every corner, behind every door. What didn't help was the fact that he tended to be in exactly those places about a third of the time.
***
It was Defense Against the Dark Arts class, and Jupiter was skipping, to avoid Chaos. Jupiter was an over-achiever, but that never stopped her from breaking rules. She was devoted to her job, yes, and to her school, but the person she was most of all devoted to was herself, something all too rare these days.
She was irked, that she had to hide like this, she thought, playing with a pigtail absently. She didn't want to live the rest of her time at school hiding from a madman. She would have to talk to someone about it. Perhaps even get him expelled. In any case, she would get her way. She always got her way.
And currently, she was getting her way across a stream outside of Hogsmeade. She was hopping from stone to stone quietly, while she thought of Severus. He'd had to leave again, and they had a substitute, a crotchety old woman who was very nice, but she smelled of eggs and Jupiter despised her. She missed Snape a lot, and she was just thinking of how nice it would be to hug him when she fell into the stream.
She cursed and looked down spitefully at her clothes. She'd taken off her school robes at the end of this small forest and hidden them under a rock. Instead, she was wearing her undershirt and a pair of pants (yes, even purebloods wear pants). Now from the knees down on those pants were soaked. She'd have to change before her next class.
She climbed out of the shallow brook and continued walking, slightly miffed. Still, the sun was warm and the leaves were bright reds, oranges, and yellows. Jupiter was content. She'd never been into this forest before, and had been surprised at the amount of magical creatures in held. A wild puffskein had bounced up to her, squishing madly. She'd patted it, and it squeaked and bounced away. She was searching the forest for any neat creatures, scanning the bushes and trees.
She was so happy, in fact, to be rid of Chaos, that she didn't notice him perched in the tree before her. His knees were up by either side of his head, his hands gripping the branch below him. He looked like a grasshopper, or a frog. Jupiter, however, didn't know this until she turned her head to the side and looked up, having heard a rustling.
The boy was shirtless, but he was wearing long, flowing black robes, and had his hood up so far that she could barely see his face. But the glint of the sun of his teeth, bared in a strange rictus of a grin that he employed so often, Jupiter recognized him instantly.
She shrieked, and took off at a run. Chaos pounced down from the tree and began chasing her with effortless bounds.
As Jupiter ran around a clump of oaks, she felt her lungs give a warning twinge. "Oh please," she thought hopelessly, "Not now, not now... I don't have my wand, I left it in the clearing..." But it was to no avail. She could feel her chest tightening, could feel her airways swell and contract. She turned around and saw Chaos pursuing her like a fox chasing after a wounded bird, lazy, carefree, and deadly.
He was much better equipped for this exertion than Jupiter was, and Jupiter was so focused on getting away from Chaos while maintaining oxygen intake, that she totally failed to wonder what he was doing hiding in a tree in a forest. She also failed to notice the lack of ground below her until she began falling.
Her arms flailed wildly until she grabbed hold of a jutting rock. She scrabbled for purchase, and it wasn't until she felt safe that she would not fall yet that she looked down. It was a mistake. It was a long way down, at least a hundred feet, and Jupiter didn't feel as secure with her foot and handholds. She didn't dare risk screaming, lest the filling of her lungs shove her off the cliff face. Not that she could fill her lungs properly anyway, in her state.
She could only stare around herself furiously, looking for a safe way to climb up. There didn't seem to be one. And that wasn't her most pressing problem. Her chest was so tight with her illness that she didn't think her fingers could cling to the rough stone anymore. She closed her eyes, but willed herself not to pass out.
Her eyes burned at the edges, she was going to die. All because she'd been stupid, and had skipped class. It was all her fault. Why, why did she have to fail at everything she did? It was hard enough to deal with having your best not being good enough, but now she was going to die of it. She cursed her asthma, cursed herself, and cursed Chaos.
But she didn't have much time to curse anything else before her eyelids began to flutter as she let go of consciousness.
The next moment was mostly a blur. She remembered Chaos peering over the edge. He was surely going to watch her fall, make sure she died. But then he didn't. Then everything went black, and she felt her weak fingers let go of the cliff face. She remembered the feeling of flying through the air, the feeling of landing heavily somewhere soft.
She remembered flicking her eyes open and seeing Chaos's concerned face above her. Then she passed out for a good long time.
***
When she awaoke, it was like waking up from a well-needed sleep. She stretched luxuriously as the bright yellow morning sun brushed across her pale face. She rubbed her face hard, as if trying to wake it up. Then she groaned and sat up.
She was in the Hospital Wing. She was also alone. She was about to stand when she heard voices outside the curtain.
"-going to be all right." came Madam Pomfrey's voice. "She just needed her lungs to be re-opened. All though I must say, it's lucky we caught her when we did. She might not have been alive had he brought her in ten minutes late."
"Well, then let us be grateful he did." Jupiter's heart jumped - Severus! He had come to check on her! "And not dwell on what might have been," he added, coldly. "However, I did come with the intention of seeing her." Jupiter smiled.
"Well," said Madam Pomfrey, "If she's awake, possibly. I'll go check."
Jupiter tried to look perky, though she didn't feel particularly energetic. Pomfrey looked surprised, but not in a bad way. "I see you are awake. Are you all right?"
Jupiter nodded. "I'm great! And if you please, miss, I would like to see Se - Professor Snape."
Pomfrey looked stern but nodded after a moment. Then she left. Within moment, Snape rushed into Jupiter's curtained area, looking concerned but happy.
"Jupiter!" he cried, and hugged her. Jupiter was happily shocked at this sudden display of affection, but it appeared Snape had noticed it, too, and had brought himself back down to normal. He patted Jupiter comfortingly on the head, and Jupiter kissed his shoulder.
Despite himself, Severus felt his mouth twitch up at the corners. Jupiter may have been a lot of trouble, and rude, sarcastic, and annoying while she was at it, but she could be awfully endearing sometimes.
"Jupiter," he said quietly, "What happened?"
Jupiter told him everything, and when she finally finished, Snape looked genuinely shocked.
"The first thing that comes to mind to say is, 'I didn't know you had asthma'," Snape said, rather lamely. Jupiter laughed.
"Well I do."
"And the second things is, I'm at a loss towards whether or not we should speak to Dumbledore about Chaos. He did, after all, bring you in to us. It appears, actually, that he saved your life."
Jupiter looked accepting of it. She wasn't sure she liked the boy, but she wouldn't be quite so scared of him anymore. She got off the bed and stood, shakily.
"I have to get my wand," she stated simply, and Severus looked at her, concerned. Jupiter hugged him tightly, and Severus could do naught but hug her back. When she finally let go of him, she poked him and said, "I love you, Severus. Thank you for visiting me."
And with that, she left. Severus sat down heavily and sighed. She was an odd girl.
***
Jupiter went to the clearing she'd left her wand in. It was probably about lunchtime, and Jupiter hoped she wouldn't be missing it. She was starving. Aha, her wand. She picked it up and pocketed it. She began heading back towards the school when a shadow crept out of the foliage before her.
Jupiter didn't scream, she recognized the gangly sort of way the creature moved.
"Chaos," she said, "What are you doing out here?"
Chaos smiled and said nothing.
"Chaos, why are you here? Were you following me?"
"Perhaps."
Jupiter was surprised. It was almost a sane sentence.
"Look, let's go back to school. I know you saved me, I know you're not trying to kill me, let's just go inside, and you can stop acting like a maniac."
Chaos's smile faded instantly and instead, he looked inquisitive in the same way a parrot might look inquisitive. Jupiter shook her head, grabbed the boy's wrist, and dragged him back to school.
***
Title: Volva a Scelus
Author: Katu Backwards
Author email: katubish@hotmail.com
Rating: R (ish)
Summary: When a new boy begins school at Hogwarts, everything goes splodey. Sex, Voldemort, arguments, secrets, heroism, blood, and fluffy kittens named Foofkins.
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and so on, do not belong to me. As you might have guessed. Chaos Aberidge is mine, Jupiter is mine, so on and so forth. Use 'em if you want, just link me. By link me I mean give me the link.
The normal rule goes, if you want to know when I update, leave your e-mail in a review and tell me so. I can think of nothing to disprove this.
Constructive criticism welcome and encouraged.
Various mild ideas including but not limited to; humour style, beginning-of-chapter information, ending-of-chapter summary, and some random information (ie - Draco's middle name being Thomas, etc), borrowed from the oh-so-talented, charmingly bohemian, tragically impoverish writer Cassandra Claire.
And now we return you to your regularly scheduled fic.
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Draco spied Jupiter and Chaos re-entering the building together and his eyes widened.
"Off shagging in the forest, were you?" he said. Jupiter gave him a glare and then looked at Chaos to see if Draco had embarrassed him (something Draco was tops at). Instead of the normal blush, Chaos just grinned, as if he hadn't heard it. Jupiter shrugged and looked at Draco.
"So, I thought you were scared to death of him," Draco said, a little bitterly.
"Well, I was. And then he sort of saved my life."
"He what? How did he do that?" Draco cried.
"Well, I was running through a forest and I fell off a cliff and he saved me. Honestly, Draco, does it matter that much?"
"So are you making marriage plans or what?" he scowled, definitely looking sour.
"Jesus, Draco, what crawled up your arse and died? Potter been teasing you again?"
"Shut up, Jupiter. No one asked you."
"Ah, so it IS boyfriend troubles. What'd he do now?" Jupiter asked, and Draco blushed fiercely.
"Oh shut up. It's not Potter, it's Champagne," he whispered harshly, glaring into Jupiter's face.
"Why," asked Jupiter, pouting, "Did she not owl you today?"
Draco looked angry, and Jupiter looked back at him in amusement, but didn't tease him.
"Don't worry, your next issue of Sex Weekly is probably in the mail. Coincedentally, is it lunchtime yet?"
"No, it's not. Anyway, I have to go."
Jupiter nodded, and Draco made his way down the hallway. Jupiter turned to tell Chaos that she had to go, but he was gone. She shrugged and walked towards her next class.
***
Jupiter flopped down in the seat next to Harry Potter in Arithmancy, after apologizing to the teacher for being late. She leaned over to Potter and began talking in hushed tones, totally drowned out by the chatter of students as they worked on their homework.
"Hey, Potter. Where's Ron?" she asked him, smiling.
"I love the way you call me Potter, but him Ron. Not that it's any of your business, but Ron's in the hospital wing. Now bugger off, you pesky Slytherin," he said coldly, looking down to his book. But Jupiter would not relent.
"Why's he there?" she asked.
"Because he and I got into a fight and I broke his nose! Now go away!"
"Why'd you hit him?"
"GODS! Jupiter, GO AWAY!" he shouted, and the class turned to look at him. He blushed, and sat silent while the chatter started up again.
"All right, all right. No more questions about Ron," Jupiter said, pretending to wave a white flag, "But tell me, what's up with you and Draco?"
"What about us?"
"You're friends, right?"
Harry nodded. "I guess."
Jupiter smiled at him. "Well, I tell you what. If you turn him into a pansy Gryffindork, you'll have taken away one of my best friends, and I will personally strangle you."
Harry glared at her, and they remained silent for the rest of the class.
***
She made her way to the attic for Advanced Divination, and ran into Chaos halfway up. She smiled at him warily and he came up to her. She noted with pleasure the incredulous looks they got as they walked up the stairs together.
"Lady is good?"
"I'm fine, thank you, Chaos. How are you?"
"I'm very well. I'm excited about Divination."
"Why's this?" Jupiter found herself being amazed that Chaos could feel anything, much less express it. She felt bad for thinking of him as stupid, when he was probably just a little unstable.
"Because Ms. Trelawney says I have the most interesting aura she's ever seen."
Jupiter wasn't sure she wanted to tell him of Trelawney's often misguided dramatics. She decided not to. They arrived in class, and Harry was sitting on the opposite side of the room, with Draco. Odd, Draco wasn't in this class. Jupiter looked around as children came in and sat down. Then her eyes traveled back to Draco and Harry. They were talking animatedly about something, and then Harry gave the Slytherin a playful shove.
Jupiter blinked, and did a mental double take. She was sure she'd just seen Draco and Harry messing around in public. She was positive. She looked at Harry, who was laughing. So was Draco, actually. Good gods, they were almost flirting! She knew she should be happy for him, but she couldn't help but think that she had nothing to hold over Draco's head now. Nothing but his limited (im)moral code was keeping her and Severus's secret from the world. In short, she was worried.
Chaos seemed to notice her distress, and laid one of his huge, long-fingered hands on hers. Her hands were still riddled with long, sweeping scars from the Hall of Shadow, she noted. She'd learned to ignore them recently, but she remembered them when Chaos touched her. She shuddered to feel the boy's hand on hers, and pulled it away. She looked up into his face, which was, for once, not twisted into his strange rictus of a smile. It was a little concerned, but it mostly looked devoid of any emotion. He was rather attractive like this, with his thin, strong jaw line and his longish nose. His good eye was a startling shade of green, and it glittered with a sparkle that contrived to look maniacal in a pleasant way.
Just then, class started. Trelawney floated out into the classroom, dabbing at her eyes with a pink handkerchief.
"Good afternoon, class," she breathed, with a tragic smile. She glanced with something akin to hope at Harry, "I wish that your wounds heal soon, poor dear." Harry rolled his eyes, but allowed the comment. Trelawney had better people to pick on, now. Harry's heart went out to the poor new sap. This 'new sap' happened to be Chaos.
"Oh dear!" Trelawney cried, rather overdramatically, "Jason, I've just had a vision!"
Jupiter rolled her eyes. This was a new one. Chaos looked intrigued.
"It was of you, standing in a clearing, with many others, dressed all in black! No faces can be seen, it appears to be some sort of funeral, with everyone standing in a circle around a grave of some sort!"
Jupiter snapped to attention when she heard the part about the circle, and then became so deeply involved in thought that she didn't listen to another word. She knew what that sounded like. She'd been familiar with it since she was very young. It was the only circle in the world you never wanted to be on the inside of. Still, Trelawney was probably making it up.
After a long period of tea leaves and picking on Chaos, Trelawney dismissed the class. Jupiter looked over at Chaos, who'd been forecasted to die, kill, and download ICQ within the next couple of days. He looked pleased as punch. Jupiter shook her head, laughing. Chaos probably didn't even know what Trelawney was talking about. She gathered her bag, and waited for Chaos at the door. They walked to the common room together.
***
"Hullo, Draco, darling. How are you?" Jupiter called in a sing-song voice, dropping her bag on the Slytherin coffee table and plopping down next to her blonde-haired friend.
"I'm great!" Draco exclaimed, looking sincerely enthusiastic for once.
"I guessed. Was that hug to Harry a we're-such-good-friends hug, or a let's-shag-in-the-bathrooms-after-class hug?" she joked, poking Draco in the ribs. She didn't want to admit it, but she was a little jealous. She didn't have anyone to hug her.
Draco blushed, "So how are you?"
"Nice avoidance. I'm all right. I just wanted to stop by to threaten your life."
"Why? What'd I do now?"
"Well, since your secret's out, I have no means of keeping my secret from popping out your mouth every five seconds. So I just wanted to let you know that if you tell anyone, I'll kill you," she said airily, with a grin.
Draco smiled and nodded. Then he stood up and began to leave.
"Where the hell are you going, my dear Malfoy?"
Draco gave Jupiter a sardonic look over his shoulder. "I'm off to shag Potter in the bathroom, of course."
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Coming up next: What's going on with Harry? Can Draco keep Jupiter's secret? Is Draco really going to shag Potter? In the bathroom, of all places? Tune in next time for Volva a Scelus, which continues to sound obscene. It really isn't, though. Even though it sounds like some sort of weird body part, like that bit between your vagina and your...nevermind.
Coming up next on the Katu Channel, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood!