Title:
Father Figures
Author:
aegean
E-mail:
aegean11@hotmail.com
Genre:
Angst, Angst, Romance, Action-- shippery
Rating:
R
Summary:
This is the sequel to Design. This
takes place 4 months after the events in Design.
Disclaimer: Dark Angel is a Fox /Cameron/Eglee
vehicle. I get no money. I do it for fun/practice Please don't sue me.
Notes: This is the sequel to Design. You really have to read that first to really
understand where this story is coming from. Again I have planned for 5 chapters plus the Prologue—hopefully I'll be
able to post one a week but don't hold me to that. I really hope you like this. I've been working on it for a while. Please R&R. Good/Bad
whatever. Advice. Anything works for me.
Chapter 1
Changes
"Pass
the popcorn Logan."
"Here
you go," Logan replied handing the bowl to Samantha.
It
was movie night at the Cale residence and all the usual suspects were gathered
around the TV thoroughly entertained by the story unfolding before them. The night had been instituted two months
earlier as a way for everyone to regroup and spend time with each other. Samantha, or Sam as everyone called her, had
been the only new face in the mix. She
and Bling had met in the lobby of Logan's building. She was hobbling to the elevator on her new crutches with great
difficulty when Bling saw her and tried to help with her things. Sam had been headstrong and told him she
could manage. She struggled almost
dropping her bags several times, but eventually made it to the door. Bling knew he would have to introduce such a
stubborn woman to Max—they'd get along perfectly. When they reached her door, he offered to help with physical
therapy if she wanted it figuring it would be alright since Logan was needing
him less and less. After some
hesitation, Sam accepted his offer and one week into therapy they began to date
and had been an item ever since.
Original
Cindy and Lana had also become regulars at the penthouse and their relationship
was still going strong. When Max left
Jam Pony to do Eyes Only work full time, Cindy pulled double duty and
eventually ran the place when Normal finally did succumb to disease after
contracting mono while at a dental appointment. She hated being the 'boss woman', but people seemed to respect
her because she had paid her dues just like them. Thanks to her efforts, Jam Pony was running more smoothly and the
messengers were a little happier, although, Lana was probably the
happiest. She had left Jam Pony to pick
up a gig at a technology surveillance company and as it turned out she had
Logan's fine gift for the hack. In
fact, that's how she found out about Logan's alter ego. She had her suspicions for some time, but it
wasn't until she hacked into one of his data transfers, that she knew for
sure. When she finally confronted
Logan, he tried to deny it, but after rattling off some information she had
seen in the transfer, he caved. To make
Logan feel more secure about the exposure, she threw a disk of surveillance
information that she had acquired from work into his lap. It showed some high-ranking officials
exchanging large sums of cash. After
that, a bond quickly formed between the two and she became an informant for Eyes
Only. Cindy frequently wondered what
they worked on together, but just assumed it was a bond between computer geeks
that would never be fully understood. On the few nights that Max hadn't been involved with Eyes Only work, she
and Cindy would go out leaving Lana and Logan to compile data for the cable
hacks.
As
for Max and Logan, they had been so busy trying to get Seattle back under
control after the damage her fathers had done that they hardly saw anyone, let
alone each other. The utilities had
fallen in the wake of CFT's interference and Seattle had become the poster
child for third world cities post-Pulse. Eyes Only figured it was better to help put control back into the hands
of Seatel. It may not have been the
best company, but at least they knew how to keep things functioning. So, for four months Max had worked to stop the
vultures who were trying to take control of the broken remnants of both the
power and phone companies. They had
been so pre-occupied with the city that they hadn't gotten around to finding
the whereabouts of her fathers. The
now infamous men of CFT had been MIA for four months and Max was beginning to
worry that no news from them was bad news. Knowing how they were when they were making noise, she could only
imagine what they were up to when they were quiet. She hated only being able to anticipate the threat.
So,
movie night was established every Tuesday for everyone to just relax and hang
out. The ability to just take it easy
had been an all too rare commodity for the group. The rules of the night were simple, each couple got to choose two
movies for the evening. It was Max and
Logan's night to select the movie. She migrated toward anything that had chicks
kickin' ass and takin' names and he liked sci-fi. The last time they chose, it was Thelma and Louise and Jurassic
Park. However, Logan had lost a bet
earlier in the month and Max won the right to pick both movies for their
following chance to choose. She opted
for Charlie's Angel's and Tomb Raider, knowing that Logan would like both of
them for obvious reasons.
--
"Think
you can pull yourself away from your biz-ness tomorrow so you can hit Crash
with the gang, " Cindy asked as she made her way to the front door. The movies ended at around eleven-thirty and
those who did not reside in the apartment were leaving.
"I
think I can drop by for a cameo appearance and play some pool for a while," she
replied to Cindy who was now standing at the door while the elevator was being
held for her.
"Cool,
lata suga." Max closed the door and
walked back to the family room to help Logan straighten up.
"So
you're gonna hit Crash tomorrow," Logan asked when Max re-entered.
"Yeah…it's
been pretty calm lately. I think most
things are under control." Logan smiled
at her need to justify her actions. He
reached over and found her hands pulling her into a gentle kiss.
"I'm
glad you're going you haven't seen Sketchy or Herbal lately. I'm sure they miss you. Seattle's coming back into it's own again
and your family situation seems to have settled down." Logan began to kiss her again but stopped
abruptly. "Or perhaps I spoke too
soon." Max turned in the direction
Logan was looking to see what the problem was. When she did, no further explanation was needed. Looming in the corner was a figure both Max
and Logan knew too well. "Zack, it's
always a pleasure…and its nice to know you're still exercising impeccable
timing. I assume you're here to whisk
Max away." Zack stepped out of the
shadows completely ignoring Logan's statements. Just then the doorbell rang and Logan moved to open it. Moments later, Original Cindy came down the
hall mentioning that she had forgotten her scarf.
"How
in the hell did he get in here," Cindy exclaimed stopping dead in her tracks
when she noticed Zack.
Max
immediately located the missing scarf and took Cindy's arm to walk her back to
the door. "Let's just say that like
me-"
"Mmhmm,
explain no further. So revved up people
really don't use doors."
"Not
if we can avoid it," Max said with a slight laugh.
"Whateva,
Call Original Cindy lata."
"Aiight,
bye." Max closed the door again and
prepared herself to face Zack. When she
got back to the room she avoided eye contact with her brother and began to pick
up the room.
"I
had a little run in with someone I think you know," Zack began.
"Who,"
Max inquired nonchalantly as though pretending the confrontation wasn't
happening could actually make it so. .
"Tisch,"
Zack replied from his perch against the windowsill as he watched her mess with
some glasses on the table. He was
briefly amused by her passive attempt at avoidance.
'Damn!'
she thought letting out a sigh. She
searched for Logan's presence in the room, but to no avail. He had inconspicuously disappeared into the
kitchen. She felt abandoned for a
moment but ultimately realized he had made the right choice. This situation she needed to handle on her
own.
"He
said some things." Zack continued.
"I'll
bet," she mumbled, and slowly inhaling, she turned to face her brother. "Look, I was hoping to get to you before
they did." She sat down on the couch
not really knowing what to say next.
"He
made a lot of sense Max—not about saving the world, but about us. We should be together, side by side, its
part of who we are." Max shook her head
and stared at some imperceptible point in the wall unable to look at her brother.
"There're
a lot of things that are a part of us that we don't give in to." Her eyes searched for his. "Zack…look I know this isn't fair but I've
had more time to think about everything and-"
"This
isn't just about you Maxie. This
affects the both of us and I'm not letting you out of it so easily
anymore. I love you." The declaration was made through a solid
mask of frustration. He waited for her
to respond but she remained expressionless. "God," he seethed with anger and exasperation, "why can't you just say
it back? Why do you keep fighting
me?"
"Because
I'm more than just what Manticore did to me and I thought you were too." The anger rising within her forced her to
stand up. "I mean we all act a little
messed when the little soldier boy and girl slips out but that's to be
expected--except apparently, you're willing to take it further. You're gonna let them get away with fucking
with your emotions. You barely have
them as it is ninety percent of the time thanks to them, accept of course when
it suits your purposes, then you tell me you love me. You're only saying it now because you've been given an excuse to
have the emotion. How could you
possibly love me? You don't even know
who I am anymore, you said so yourself." She swept the hair away from her face. "So your gonna try to manipulate me with phony sentimentality…it's true,
you are Manticore through and through." The blinding rage that had been driving her tirade inexplicably subsided
for a moment, but it was enough for her to see its affects. She couldn't believe she had used her own
fathers words against him. "Oh. God
Zack I'm sorry." She never ceased to go
for the jugular when backed into an emotional argument. She did it with Logan and now she was honing
her skills on Zack. And when she looked
at him standing there like a wounded animal, she knew that her words that night
could possibly be the most regretted words to cross her lips. Max saw how truly weary he was and it made
her want to buckle under the pressure of having hurt one of the people closest
to her. Perhaps the only man who had
the capacity to eventually fully understand her. Logan knew of her past but he never lived it. Zack lived her past but didn't seem to
understand her present, but there had to be at least some hope that one day he
would.
Zack
looked as though a knife had lodged itself in his chest. Max's outburst had rendered him speechless
in a way that nothing else could have. He turned and walked to the door. 'I really do love you,' were his only parting words.
Max
turned to walk back toward the family room just as Logan was returning from the
kitchen. He looked around the room but
only found Max and threw her a questioning glance. "He's gone," she said catching his meaning.
"Really,
and he actually used the door." Logan was trying to lighten the mood, but when
he saw Max's forced half-smile he knew it was a pointless endeavor. "I'm sorry."
"Don't
apologize. It's a tough situation"
"I
just don't understand why he keeps coming back to get his heart broken." Logan placed his fingers over the bridge of
his nose and closed his eyes. It was an
unfortunate verbalized errant thought and Logan knew it the instant he said it.
"I
don't wanna talk about Zack with you right now. This is just one of those things that's only between he and I--
and I think it needs to stay that way." And there she went, attempting to atone for her treatment of Zack by
evening the score by shutting Logan out. He was used to her fiery temper, but this time her manner had been
eerily calm and emotionless, as though she hadn't the energy to fight a
fly. She knew that particular reaction
disturbed Logan, but she couldn't really think about him at the moment.
In
these situations Max would wonder if her reactions were those of the
well-adjusted person she tried to be. Oftentimes she convinced herself that they weren't but in the back of
her mind, she knew that a lack of emotional control was all too normal. Logan acted the same way on occasion and
frankly the only thing that kept their relationship going was their
inexhaustible ability to love and forgive each other. However, adding to the severity of her reaction toward Logan was
the fact that she also didn't want to admit she'd become very confused over the
past few months as to where her life was leading her. She always assumed that her feelings of loss over Zack were
because he had been out of her life for so long, but now she knew it was
something more. It was true that she
had more time to think about everything her fathers had said but she never got
around to it, choosing to pour her energy into Eyes Only work rather than deal
with a new set of family problems and the finer points of her connection to
Zack. In fact, the only thing she
managed to come up with was that the idea of living her life with unexpressed
feelings for Zack, and realizing that any life she had away from him would hurt
him, was completely unacceptable. A lot
of things were going to have to change.
--
Max
went to Crash as planned the next evening. She knew the distraction of the gang would help take her mind off of
things. The diversion was working until
Cindy pulled her aside and asked about Zack. After that, Max decided that alone time at the Space Needle would be
more therapeutic.
Logan
spent the afternoon with Bling updating the Informant Net. Now that things had settled down in town,
Logan felt the pull to follow up on all the other information that had been
streaming in. He and Bling were just
finishing up when they heard the door close. Assuming it was Max, they were both surprised to find Zack walking up
behind them.
"Where
is she," the chimera demanded skipping past all formalities of a greeting.
"I'll
be in the kitchen," Bling walked away, not feeling the need to be crushed by
the palpable tension in the room.
"Using
the door twice in as many days--it boggles the mind." Logan figured his off-handed remark would get a rise out of
Zack. He wanted desperately to be angry
at him, to go a few rounds, or at least one for the grief he caused Max. Logan stood glaring at Zack, but the chimera
had far more experience at it. And just
when Logan was about to fire off another smart-assed comment, he noticed
something in Zack's eyes that changed everything. For one instant, he experienced a glimpse of the mans existence
and was forced into the sobering realization that Zack's life was always going
to be a series of impossible choices that no one should have to make. So, taking pity on the chimera, he decided
to cut him one break. "She's probably
up in the one place she goes to really think." /The one place I can't get to but you can./ The information was all Zack needed and he left without a word.
When
Logan heard the door close again he almost felt like chuckling at Zack's
newfound predictability--almost. He
circled the room for a minute taking in what he had done. He had just given the exact location of his
girlfriend to the man whose sole mission at that moment was to convince her to
run with him. Logan knew it was a tactical
error on his part, and all he could do at that point was rely on his faith in
Max. He was so absorbed in thought he
didn't realize that he had stopped pacing in front of the wood paneled wall in
the room. He often found himself pulled
toward the drawing that now resided there. It helped get him through many worry filled nights when he knew Max was
in precarious situations. It was the
drawing that he had been working on the day she returned to him after rejecting
the offer her fathers had made. The
morning after they had made love and he woke to find her gone and unsure that
she would return, he began to sketch her eyes. By the time she had returned to him in the evening, he had nearly
finished. And when he told her that she
would always be with him and he showed her what he had created, she cried. It was then he knew that he would always
have to simply trust that she would return to him.
When
Bling finally walked back into the room and saw Logan staring at the drawing
again, he knew things were going to be rough for awhile. "You o-kay man?"
"Yeah,"
Logan said as he shook off the daze he had fallen into and turned to Bling,
"trust is just a very unnerving concept."
"Yeah,
but this time you've picked a trustworthy woman to love." Bling patted Logan on the shoulder and then
turned back into the kitchen giving Logan more time alone with his thoughts.
--
The
wind whipped through Zack's hair as he climbed to the top of the Needle. The cold rush of air that passed over his
body was helping to clear his head. He
didn't know what he was going to say to Max yet, but he knew he was not going
to try to coerce or manipulate her in any way. She had been right in her criticism of him and his tactics and he never
wanted her to think that about him again. So, when he reached the graffiti covered top and he saw her sitting out
near the edge, he paused before approaching in order to choose his first words
wisely.
"I
love you too ya know." Max felt the
presence behind her and knew that it could only be Zack. She figured it was safest to get that
statement out in the open before she said anything else. Apparently Zack understood because he
remained quiet as he sat down beside her. "And I really am sorry about last night," she continued.
"I
know," he replied gently suddenly wondering whether it had been her suffering
or his own that had made his voice so soft. In the end it didn't matter.
"Lately
I've been thinking about how I really feel." She stood up and walked around for a few minutes musing on her next
words. "And yes, despite my feelings
for Logan, there has always been an inexplicable draw to you and now I know
why." She sat next to Zack and traced
her finger along some graffiti markings. "I love you in a way that I could love no other man—not even Logan. We share a connection that I now fully
understand." Her hand moved above his
and she squeezed it tightly. "You'll
never be without me and I'll never be without you. You'll always be my CO and I'll always be your second. But," she turned to face him, "…that doesn't
mean that we should be together. Don't get me wrong, for a while now I've wondered what it would be like
to just step outside the moment and into...I guess you could say another time
…to see what it would've been like…but we can't. I don't know, maybe if we'd never escaped things would be
different. But we did escape…we escaped
it all changing both our paths. And,
given the givens," she began, "if we were to get together now, I would drive
you completely insane and you know it." If she didn't know better, she would have thought her last words had
made Zack emit a bemused sort of scoff, but she did know better. He wasn't Logan, so lightening the mood was
not going to happen. Max sighed heavily
and leaned back into the darkness..
"Have
you ever really thought about why you love me outside of just feeling it." She couldn't stand the silence any longer
and had to speak. "I know you love me
but do you really believe you're in love with me or do you just miss the
companionship?" She noticed that Zack
had fallen into deep contemplation. "You look out for everybody, but who looks out for you? That used to be my role. I watched your back and you watched
mine. We had a safety and trust between
us that was taken in a matter of minutes. Now you've been wandering for a decade with no home and no people around
while I've got a life with friends and people who've got my back. Obviously we love each other in that
unconditional sort of way, and yes there is more to that for us because of how
we were supposed to function together, but isn't it possible that its so much
stronger for you because your life forces you to stay alone?"
"Don't
think I'm lonely. I choose to be
alone. It's the only way I can do my
job."
"And
that would be to watch over all of us. Zack," his name passed her lips with an exaggerated sigh, "you can't do
that for the rest of your life--our lives. As we leave Manticore as far behind us as possible, you'll
still be right in the thick of it. We'll end up resenting you for forcing us to remember what we
were."
"What
we are," he interjected. She ignored
him continuing her train of thought.
"No,"
she shook her head, "its time things change. This arrangement isn't going to work for anyone much longer. We x-5's need to start taking responsibility
for ourselves and each other. Hell, at
the very least, its what we were trained to do."
"Sort
of hypocritical of you to bring up a lack of responsibility don't you think?"
"I'll
admit I've not been a paragon of responsibility when it comes to keeping myself
on the DL and I'll even go so far as to admit that at times I've taken your
help for granted…but, I am willing to try to be better." She looked at him. "Understand that to mean I'll make better choices not that I'll
follow all orders you give." Zack
grunted and left Max waiting for more of a response, but it didn't come and
once again silence invaded their conversation.
"Its
hard to let go of something that's been a part of you for so long." On the surface, it seemed like he was
speaking to no person in particular, however, underneath Max knew he was
talking to her, and about her, and him, and all the crap they had accepted as
dogma. If there was one compliment you
could pay Zack, it was that his knack for expressing a lifetime of emotion into
one simple statement was unparalleled.
"You're
telling me." It was the only response
she could muster at the moment and its succinctness complimented Zack's
blatantly obvious yet all too unexpressed sentiment.
Silence
had become the third participant in their conversation as Max and Zack again
sat without saying a word. It wasn't
until the darkness of the night had begun to break that either of them spoke
again.
"I'm
not saying that I don't still have feelings," Zack continued, revisiting the
conversation started hours ago. It had
been hard for him to finally accept that his feelings for Max were somewhat
normal. Now he was being asked to give
them up.
"Letting
go of something doesn't mean it ceases to exist." /Especially not emotion./ "It just means you stop letting it eat away at you." Only another chimera could have followed his
train of thought let alone maintain the flow of the conversation. Two hours of silence had passed before he
was able to figure out his emotions and even then Zack was only able to produce
a fragmented semblance of a thought. Manticore really had produced a bunch of emotionally retarded children. /Whoever thought it would be a good idea to
manipulate the genes of children and then train them to be killers, should have
been shot. Of course they're all gonna
be fucked up. I'm surprised were not
complete sociopaths./
Zack
nodded and Max noted the slight difference in him. Nothing substantial, but it was the hopeful beginning to a new
understanding between them. So, why Max
did what she did was going to be another one of lifes' little mysteries. As they watched the sun rise, Zack decided
it was time to go in and he began to stand offering Max his hand. She took it and he pulled her off her feet
with more force than she had expected and she came slamming into him. He caught her in his arms and stopped her
only centimeters from his face. They
looked into each others eyes, and before he knew what was happening, she was
kissing him.
The
kiss itself only lasted about twenty seconds, but each one of them was
intense. It began hesitantly but grew
into a frenzied expression of emotion. In those moments, both Max and Zack needed to know what their life would
have been like if things had been different. For Max the kiss made much of her wondering
subside. She would later classify it as
one of the most memorable moments of her life along with her first day of
freedom, the first time she cried, and the first time she knew she wanted to
spend her life with Logan. When they
finally broke the embrace, they were rendered temporarily speechless until Zack
found his voice again.
"We
stepped outside the moment I take it." He had become flush and she was still breathing heavily.
"You're
not the only one who needed to let go," she replied. Zack nodded in understanding.
"Let's
just call that the mutual actualization of a moment of weakness and leave it at
that." She smiled. They both new it was the only unguarded kiss
they would ever share with each other. It had been enough for Zack because it answered the biggest question in
his emotionally repressed heart. He now
knew for certain that Max would never be with him, but it was not an issue of
her being unable to ever love him in that way anymore. He knew she could, she just simply didn't
and that sudden knowledge had altered Zack's perception of everything.
Max
turned and descended the Space Needle with Zack following closely behind. When they reached the ground she hugged him,
but as she pulled away the expression on her face fell.
"What
is it?"
"This
all could've ended very badly," she began. "In fact, it still could."
Zack's
face registered her meaning. "Jace."
"They
threatened to get to you and they did. They'll go after her too."
"We've
gotta warn her before that happens."
"Come
by the penthouse tomorrow—we'll figure it out then." She released a heavy sigh. "Right now I just need to be at home with Logan." They looked at each
other one last time and then she turned her sights toward Foggle Towers. Zack watched the night envelop her, and when
her figure had fully disappeared in to the darkness and he could no longer
discern her presence, he put his hands in his pockets and turned to go himself.