Kiley opened her eyes, then blinked, confused. It had seemed to her like hours had passed, but the tableau before her was very similar to the one she had left. Everyone had clustered around Ace, and the girl still wasn't moving. Dimly, she was aware of this being a bad thing, but true discomfort could not break through the haze that surrounded her.
Ah, she thought. I'm in shock.
Feeling absurdly proud that she could make that diagnosis, she closed her eyes, hoping that some black force would take her away from here again. And maybe this time they wouldn't let her come back. She sat that way for a good minute or two, then gave it up as a lost cause.
As she opened her eyes once more, she saw no change in the positions of the people before her. They were all still completely absorbed in whatever had befallen Ace. Her heart panged. She had been shot, hadn't she? She dimly remembered that… the pain, the healing… what they said when they thought she couldn't hear. Why did no one care to see how she was doing? She thought these things, but there was no malice or pain in them. She was merely acknowledging facts. No one cared about her. That was clear.
She wondered what they would say if they knew she was a plant. Would they ignore her then? Probably not. They would probably be torn, torn between worrying about her or about Ace. But since she was human, or thought to be, or at least close enough, she was not worthy of their care.
She thought on that for a while. She would be lying if she said that it didn't bother her. Why should her value lie in something she had no control over? So what if she wasn't human. Why should that make anyone treat her differently? Right then she resolved to not tell anyone what she had just found out. They didn't deserve to know.
She had spent too many years forcing people to interact with her based on her own merits, and not on what body she had happened to be born into. If they felt that ignoring her was what she deserved, then who was she to argue? Vash and Meryl didn't know her, Knives was too entirely species centered, and Ace… well, she was hurt too. But she was getting to be as bad as Knives. No reason to tell her, either.
She smiled a bit, then, a smile that held nothing of humor, and everything of pain. Pheromones. It explained so much, like how she could have been attracted to him in the first place. If pressed, she was unsure she could come up with anything about him that she liked, anything that she respected, anything that she could point to and say, yes, I like him for this. And likely he could not find any reason to like her, either. Biology. It was nothing she could change, but it wasn't something she had to be a slave to, either. Just looking at him now twisted something deep inside her. It was a feeling not unlike a sinking stomach, but it involved much more pain.
Gradually, she grew aware of a pressing thirst. It didn't surprise her; she had lost a great deal of blood. She could still feel it, sticky and half-dried against her back. She sat up a little straighter, then pushed herself to her feet, slowly pushing her back against the spire until she stood more or less erect. Her head swam as she almost blacked out; she had too little blood left in her for much physical activity.
Grimly, she set her jaw and shuffled off toward the spring. If willpower alone could make her reach it, then she would be fine. But the weakness of her body worried her. If she fell before reaching the water she wasn't sure that she could make herself get up again.
So, she just wouldn't fall. Her eyes focused on her goal. If anyone looked over and saw her as she made her slow, painstaking way along, she neither saw them, nor did they feel the need to help her along. It was as if whatever drama was playing out with Ace, it was taking place in a dimension slightly removed from the one she inhabited. They could not see her, or they refused to care.
And so did she. Either Ace would be ok or she would not, but at the moment there was nothing that Kiley could do for her. She was spent, physically, and although she would not admit it, emotionally as well. The water drew her, enticing her. Even when the world grew gray around the edges, still the water beckoned. She let it be the entire focus of her existence, her sole reason for being. She was alive only to travel the last few feet to the water.
Then she was there, and all thought fled as she collapsed, her knees giving out at the water's edge. She dunked her head in the water, immersing it, drawing it in through her pores as much as through her mouth. She took in as much as she could before the need to breathe forced her head out.
She blinked as the water poured off her face. It felt like tears as it dripped down, but strangely her heart was empty. After regaining her breath, she dropped her face to the water once more. This time she had enough control to immerse only her face.
The water was cool and comforting, a blessing against her too tight skin. She could feel the water tension against her face, and she wished that it would accept her. Even such a thin barrier as this seemed to much to her. Nothing accepted her; she belonged nowhere.
Despondent, she kept her face immersed. He lungs began to complain, but she ignored them. Nothing really mattered. No one would miss her if she was gone.
Then a hand roughly grabbed her hair and hauled her out of the pool.