Summary: A new conflict surfaces in Rory and Jess's relationship, manifested as they struggle to define themselves as adults.
Rating: PG-13 for language and sexual innuendo. Nothing graphic.
Feedback: Greatly appreciated. I won't withhold writing for feedback, but it certainly makes it feel more worthwhile. I'd love to hear anything, a sentence you liked, a piece of the story, your general thoughts. Anything.
Author's Notes: Rory's POV. This is a bit of a departure from my usual style. I hope you guys like it. I was trying for a more realistic feel than some stuff. Let me know what you think. The stuff about college: the majors are correct, I'm not so sure about the timing of graduation, etc. Bombay Club is a real restaurant. I used as many facts as I could but obviously, some stuff is made up. The main titles and chapter titles are e.e. cummings quotes.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the other creators of the Gilmore Girls universe.
Ch. 5: oh but you'll be very proud and my little sister and i will take hands
Dad raised his hand and waved to me. I grinned and hurried down the University steps as quickly as I could, careful not to trip in my high heels. When I reached the sidewalk, he swept me into a hug. I'm so proud of you, he said, squeezing me once before releasing me. Where's your mom?
She went with Grandma and Grandpa to get a table. I told her I'd meet you guys and walk. I smiled at my six year old half-sister Camille. Hi, Cami!
Cami took Dad's hand and stepped behind him. Her hello was barely audible.
She's feeling a little shy, Dad informed me. Isn't that right, Cam? He pulled her back out to his side as we started walking. Where are we eating again?
Bombay Club. I grinned as he grimaced. Don't tell me you have the same thing as Mom about the smell.
We're going to have to burn our clothes, that's all. Dad laughed. What, Cam? Cami was tugging on his hand, and he bent down to listen. Yes, I'm sure you'll find something you like to eat there.
It's a great restaurant, I told her, smiling. She nodded seriously and raised her other hand to brush hair out of her face. The last time I'd seen her she'd informed me that she was growing out her bangs.
Dad asked quietly as we walked. I didn't see Jess earlier, is he coming?
A summer breeze blew my skirt sideways. He's meeting us at the restaurant. His immersion course ended today, so he had to take a later train up.
Immersion course? Dad raised an eyebrow at me.
Oh, didn't I tell you? I pushed a loose strand of hair out of my eyes, trying to keep my tone light. Jess is working for AYA next year, in Afghanistan? He had to take a crash course in language, culture, stuff like that. I wasn't allowed to talk to him for two weeks while he learned Persian.
Dad chuckled. But you speak Persian.
I know, but apparently a lot of people say that. They didn't believe me.
Cami peered around Dad. Jess is coming? she asked softly, looking hopeful. I nodded, grinning, and she matched my smile with a more tentative one of her own. She adored Jess, and he was great with her, as much her older brother as I was her older sister.
My senior year of high school, when Dad had gone back to Sherry and the expected baby, he and I had gone through a tough time. He was stressed about repairing things with Sherry and torn between his two children; I resented what I considered his final betrayal, leaving right after promising to stay. As a peace offering, maybe to let me know he still considered me an equal part of his life, he and Sherry had extended the offer to let me name their unborn daughter.
What no one knew, what I'd never told, was that it had been Jess who actually suggested the name Camille. Daunted as well as delighted with my new responsibility, I'd checked out dozens of name books from the library, spent hours poring over them, making lists. Jess had come over one afternoon, taken one look at the alphabetized charts I was agonizing over, and suggested the name Camille from Jack Kerouac's On the Road.
In my most honest moments I could admit to myself the real attraction behind the name. It was not the name itself, but the fact that Jess had chosen it. It had a nice sound, good nickname possibilities, and a great literary reference, but what really gave me shivers was the idea of naming a baby with Jess. It resounded somewhere deep within me, touched upon the hidden fantasy that someday I'd have children with him.
There it is. I pointed across the street. As we stepped off the sidewalk, Cami dropped Dad's hand and took my hand instead, gripping my fingers tightly. We entered the restaurant and spotted Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa sitting at a table set for seven. I took the seat across from Mom and Cami immediately sat next to me. Dad sat between her and Mom.
Can I get you some appetizers? A waiter had appeared.
Mom looked to me. I nodded. Go ahead. Order. If he hasn't shown before we're done, I'll wait for my entrée till he arrives.
As I listened to everyone order, I settled the pale pink linen napkin in my lap and leaned towards Cami. Do you like chicken soup? I asked her. She considered the question for a moment, then nodded. We'll share the Mulligatawny Soup, I told the waiter, then looked at Cami. You can have all the chicken. She smiled. Hey you lost a tooth! When did that happen?
She reached carefully for the glass of ice water and lifted it with both hands to drink.
Show Rory what you got, Dad said.
Cami smiled again and reached into the pocket of her sun-dress. She offered me a look at a five dollar bill before shyly hiding it again.
Wow, five dollars! I only got a penny for my first tooth! I winked at Mom; our budget had been a little tight back then. She smiled back and toasted me subtly with her water glass.
Some sixth sense prickled my senses, and I looked towards the front of the restaurant in time to see Jess hastily tying his tie by the door. He saw me watching him and winked.
Hey, look who's here! Mom said cheerfully, as he half jogged across the room.
The whole table stood to welcome him. Grandpa and Dad shook his hand, and Cami turned around and kneeled on her chair, watching him silently. As everyone resettled in their seats, Jess kissed my cheek and whispered I'm sorry I'm late.
You're not, I whispered back. We shared a brief smile, and he started to sit in the empty chair beside me.
I want Jess to sit here, Cami announced.
We can switch, I offered. Jess took my seat and I took the empty chair beside him. The appetizers arrived momentarily, and I sat comfortably with my hand on his back, playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck.
Guess what, Cami said to Jess. She'd been staring at him wide-eyed for the past five minutes.
Jess turned to face her, grinning.
We have the same middle name.
What? You and me? He faked a look of surprise. Your middle name is Alexander too?!
Cami giggled. Mine's Leigh.
You're kidding! That's Rory's middle name too!
She chortled, That's what I'm saying! Jess could always make her laugh.
Jess shot a proud smile back at me. It was true; Dad had insisted that Camille have the same middle name as me. I would have been more pleased at the connection had it not been a sore point for Sherry. She understood, but on a certain level she resented Dad's continued involvement in my life, because it meant continued involvement with Mom. I was pretty sure her business trip this weekend was actually made up to avoid dinner with us.
So, Jess, Grandpa said, once the entrées were served. I hear you're going to Afghanistan.
Yeah, that's right. Jess smiled and resettled his napkin in his lap. I was the only one who could see he was nervous.
And what are you going to be doing there? Grandpa was in a good mood about my graduation, so his tone was only mildly interrogatory.
Well, at this point I think I'm going to be helping run a school.
A school, Grandma repeated.
Yeah, the literacy rate is still only at about 41%. We're going to try and change that.
And what will you be teaching? Grandpa asked.
English, I think. Jess looked at me and shrugged. Probably everything, realistically. There's twenty of us teachers and hundreds of kids without schooling.
Grandma looked doubtful. With that kind of student to faculty ratio, don't you think discipline will be a problem?
Nope. You see, that's the difference with American schools. Jess reached over and stole a shrimp off my plate. The kids take their education for granted and resent it. When you've had no education, as some of these children have, you don't do anything to jeopardize your learning.
Mom was watching Jess pensively, and I knew what was going through her head. When I stepped back and thought about it, sometimes I felt the same way. It was hard to believe that this eloquent, well-adjusted young man was the same sullen teenager who had swaggered into our lives eight years ago. What I knew that she didn't was that he was the same person all along; his interior and exterior attitudes had just reversed themselves. He had always been this verbal and considerate with me, and I had seen, when provoked, that he could still be just as nasty and sarcastic. But it was gratifying to see the difference in how he faced the world.
I'm so sorry Sherry couldn't come, Dad was saying. She really wanted to be here, but that meeting—she sends her congratulations, Rory. I nodded and gave Dad the accepting smile he wanted. It wouldn't do anyone any good to point out how Sherry was avoiding me and Mom.
Where is your significant other this evening, Lorelai? Grandma asked.
He had to work. Mom looked embarrassed.
He runs a diner, not a country, Grandma said. Couldn't he have closed for one day?
It wasn't necessary, Mom said, shooting me a get-me-out-of-this look. It brought back the memory of a hundred Friday night dinners, all containing arguments like this one.
It's okay, Grandma, I assured her, ever the peacemaker. Luke offered, but it sounded like it would be inconvenient, so I told him it was okay if he didn't come.
Grandma sniffed, and dinner continued peacefully after that. Before I knew it, we were standing to leave, thanking our waiter and making our way to the front of the building. Cami was dozing on Dad's shoulder, so he excused himself from the group as we stood on the sidewalk, promising he'd call me later.
Jess, you're leaving tomorrow? Grandpa asked. When Jess nodded, Grandpa took his hand and shook it. Good luck. He hugged me then. Your grandmother and I are very proud of you, Rory.
Mom was studying her parents. Dad, why don't you and Mom take a cab back to the hotel? I'll catch up. They nodded, said their goodbyes, and within a minute they were gone.
You know, I think I left something behind, Jess said awkwardly. I'll be right back. He ducked inside, giving me a minute alone with my mother.
Mom faced me. What time is his flight tomorrow?
Ten o'clock from Logan. I tried to smile, but it felt false. You're still picking me up afterwards? The plan was for us to spend the weekend at Grandma and Grandpa's house on Martha's Vineyard. It would give me an escape from the new loneliness I'd be facing.
Not until two o'clock. Mom brushed hair back from my face. She sounded teary. Hey, babe, I know it's been said several times before, but at the risk of sounding like a broken record I have to repeat it: I am so proud of you.
Thank you. I hugged her fiercely. The words seemed far too small for everything I wanted to express: thank you for raising me, thank you for believing in me, thank you for understanding that I'd need time to cry after Jess left. Thank you for being my best friend for most of my life.
Until now.