TITLE: Family
AUTHOR: Aset
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*~* The morning after *~* Cordelia's POV*~*
Waking up, surrendering to the day. I always hate that; leaving my dreams behind. What a dream a had tonight! Angel was there, and he had told me he loved me… A wonderful, beautiful dream! A noise downstairs, a voice, silently cursing. Fred, in the kitchen, probably broke a cup or so. *sigh*. Hopefully she doesn't wake up Connor… Connor? Connor! Oh, no! Connor was really gone, dead. Sadness took over. But wait a minute…Fred? Connor? Oh God! I'm still at the Hyperion. It hadn't been a dream! I'm...No…in Angel's… No! Shit!
A heavy weight on my chest; Angel's arm. He seems still asleep…and still Angel, soulful! Relief. No Angelus, no grr-guy, just my sweet Angel.
Thinking over last night… too much. The news of Connor, and Wes, then Angel… too much, too quick maybe too. I do love him, no doubt about that; no denial here! I didn't even really regret Groo taking off with the blonde bitch. He knew, he had known it all along, but I was still in denial, to blind to see. Loving Angel.
But he's still Angel… It made me think of Sunnydale, and Buffy. Sad. I never really liked the Slayer; maybe it was because I was jealous of her, mostly because of Angel.
I thought he loved me…doubt, pain.
He's just like all the others…only after me for my looks, the money, the prestige, only after the sex.
'Come on, Delia!' 'Ow, baby' 'Now that's what I call working!'
Thoughts of formal lovers crossed her mind. She didn't really love any of them, just played along. Xander had seemed different, and she'd let him into her heart, love him. The pain she'd felt when she saw him kiss Willow had been worse than being run through with that piece of wood moments later as she fell through the stairs. A broken heart was the worst, 'cause it hurts from the inside. She decided then not to fall in love again, no longer let men play with her feelings; no more pain! Then LA, Angel, best friends, parents (Well yeah! I am Connor's mom! Connor was my kid too! IS! IS! Positive thinking, Cordelia! He isn't dead! He's just lost in some dimension with some freaky guy! He isn't dead!), and now lovers.
The night had been wonderful; just as she had imagined it, no, almost as she's imagined it over and over again. But Angel had been sweet, and loving… He'd told her he loved her, and she'd believed him. They'd loved away the night, and she didn't know if she should regret it or not.
Connor crossed her mind again, his sweet little face, smiling at her. It hurt, and she knew Angel suffered too…
She'd thought is was because he didn't love her, then she thought it was because she was his seer, or because of the demon-thing, maybe that the PTB had something to do with it, but now she knew. It was Connor. Angel did love her, but he loved his son, and he could never reach his moment of perfect happiness while his son was missing. A little smile crossed her face. He loved her! A tear too, loving him, missing their son.
AUTHOR: Aset
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*~* The morning after *~* Cordelia's POV*~*
Waking up, surrendering to the day. I always hate that; leaving my dreams behind. What a dream a had tonight! Angel was there, and he had told me he loved me… A wonderful, beautiful dream! A noise downstairs, a voice, silently cursing. Fred, in the kitchen, probably broke a cup or so. *sigh*. Hopefully she doesn't wake up Connor… Connor? Connor! Oh, no! Connor was really gone, dead. Sadness took over. But wait a minute…Fred? Connor? Oh God! I'm still at the Hyperion. It hadn't been a dream! I'm...No…in Angel's… No! Shit!
A heavy weight on my chest; Angel's arm. He seems still asleep…and still Angel, soulful! Relief. No Angelus, no grr-guy, just my sweet Angel.
Thinking over last night… too much. The news of Connor, and Wes, then Angel… too much, too quick maybe too. I do love him, no doubt about that; no denial here! I didn't even really regret Groo taking off with the blonde bitch. He knew, he had known it all along, but I was still in denial, to blind to see. Loving Angel.
But he's still Angel… It made me think of Sunnydale, and Buffy. Sad. I never really liked the Slayer; maybe it was because I was jealous of her, mostly because of Angel.
I thought he loved me…doubt, pain.
He's just like all the others…only after me for my looks, the money, the prestige, only after the sex.
'Come on, Delia!' 'Ow, baby' 'Now that's what I call working!'
Thoughts of formal lovers crossed her mind. She didn't really love any of them, just played along. Xander had seemed different, and she'd let him into her heart, love him. The pain she'd felt when she saw him kiss Willow had been worse than being run through with that piece of wood moments later as she fell through the stairs. A broken heart was the worst, 'cause it hurts from the inside. She decided then not to fall in love again, no longer let men play with her feelings; no more pain! Then LA, Angel, best friends, parents (Well yeah! I am Connor's mom! Connor was my kid too! IS! IS! Positive thinking, Cordelia! He isn't dead! He's just lost in some dimension with some freaky guy! He isn't dead!), and now lovers.
The night had been wonderful; just as she had imagined it, no, almost as she's imagined it over and over again. But Angel had been sweet, and loving… He'd told her he loved her, and she'd believed him. They'd loved away the night, and she didn't know if she should regret it or not.
Connor crossed her mind again, his sweet little face, smiling at her. It hurt, and she knew Angel suffered too…
She'd thought is was because he didn't love her, then she thought it was because she was his seer, or because of the demon-thing, maybe that the PTB had something to do with it, but now she knew. It was Connor. Angel did love her, but he loved his son, and he could never reach his moment of perfect happiness while his son was missing. A little smile crossed her face. He loved her! A tear too, loving him, missing their son.