Chaos Incarnate, fueled by Sonic's semen, unleashes a host of small Sonic-chaos out of it's netherrealms. The streets are flooded with cars, the sewers are flooded with chao, and minds are flooded with dread. Sonic has fallen, and cannot get up.

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, home to such glorious inventions as the popcorninator, the chaos incarnator, and the televisionator. All important devices to one Doctor Doofenshmirtz, who is laughing over the tallest peak in the Tri-State Area. "I have finally done it! I have taken over the Tri-State Area, and… yet, what of Perry the Platypus…" Doofensmirtz rubbed his hands evily and cracked a maniacal laugh. He glances over the Tri-State Area, knowing he will soon control every aspect of the area. Yet, there's one area that the evil doctor didn't want to cover… the criminal underworld. Alas, that was his sidekick's plan…

Tails was freezing in the rain. "So much for a fur coat… I'm freezing here… God, why did you do this to me?" Tails shivered, pleading to God. "Oh, what's the use! Everyone's gone mad around these parts… including you…" Tails spat out his chewing tobacco and lit up a cigarette. Too bad the wind speeds are over 9000, thanks to Chaos Incarnate. Tails stood there for a second, shivering, praying gibberish. Nothing. "So much for the biblical notion of moral values in a modern world… Doofenshmirtz was right about you..." He took a golden coin and walked up to an alley in between the smoothie shack and the convenience store. He was in the right place. He slotted the coin into the glory hole, and he peeped through the hole. A black glove-bearing hand appeared and grabbed out a magnet wire, which attracted the coin into their palm. Then, the figure kneeled down to the glory hole and spoke.

"Where?" The figure whispered.

"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated." Tails replied.

"Who?"

"This…" Tails slotted a photo of his target through the glory hole.

The figure pulled out his magnetic wire and dragged the photo into his hand. He flipped it open. Tails could hear a gasp. The figure's mouth came back and whispered, "Alright. My client requires housing, weapons, and proper attire for the job. Can you provide it?"

"Yes."

"Alright. He'll be there soon."

"Don't worry. I can fly him to the location quickly and discreetly."

After a few seconds, Tails heard rapid thuds. "Must be my guy…" Tails whispered. Then, from two stories above, glass shatters, and two men fall before the fox's eyes. One man, with his jet black mullet and a matching suit, held the other in place. He didn't look at his target with pity or hate or even with a sense of brutality in mind; rather, he needed a cushion for the fall. He held onto his victim tightly and employed a devilish use of the Laws of Physics to smash the man onto the floor first, absorbing most of the velocity from the fall. In a split second, the pushback from ths normal force was perfect enough for the killer to backflip off his corpse and land perfectly on his feet. Blood, tissue, and organs painted the floor and left a few stains on the hitman's shirt. Tails, agasap at this man's skill, applauded the beautiful display of physics. "Holy crap, if it isn't John Wick. I've heard things but…"

John Wick spat out a single "Don't." He grabbed Tails by the leg as the two-tailed fox flew up towards the rainy clouds. Unfortunately, a horde of flying Sonichaos honed in on the two, ready to kill them in the stratosphere. The first Sonichao bit Tails' left leg. John, supporting himself with one hand, grabs out a holstered pistol and shoots the chao dead. John shot more and more of the chao with his perfect gunshots. A few more dashed from above: John jumped up and anchored himself onto Tails' shoulder to get a better aim at the suckers. One by one, the children fell to the ground and splattered all over. A devilish chao, eyes set towards Tails' heart, flew straight at the fox with an intense velocity. Tails stopped the kid in his tracks with a clenched fist and tore through the chao's membrane, harvesting a slimy spherical sample in the process.

In this exposed position, a chao flew in towards Tails' groin and started biting. Shocked, Tails dropped the membrane. John, without a second to spare, commanded Tails: "Drop down. Catch me." John did a sick backflip off Tails, and as the fox descended, the chao itself was exposed to the internationally renowned assassin. Instantly he tore the Chao off Tails' pleasure zone and started pummeling his face while dropping free fall. John tore the chao in half, then he flipped around and started shooting the remaining hordes of Sonichaos with dual wielding pistols. Meanwhile, our fox was struggling to descend- the blood loss fatigued him. But the familiar chime of his boss' evil lair rang through his ears, and he had just barely enough energy to pick John up and crash through Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.

"Well well well, if it isn't Doctor Doofenshmirtz… long time no see…" John Wick said, blood shining off every fiber off his suit. "So, you got a platypus problem?"

Tails, in a state of intense fatigue, coughed hyper realistic blood and pointed at Doofenshmirtz, confused. "Doof… those chao… why are they after me? And what's up with this?" Tails pulled out the chao membrane.

Doofensmirtz stumbled for a second before confessing. "Well, this is complicated. Remember that sperm extractinator I built all those years ago? Well, I thought I'd never had a use for them, until I discovered my son Victor," Doofensmirtz confessed. His sonichao pet Victor crawled up to Doof and cracked a smile. "Victor, he's special. He came to me when you turned off the machine at first. I was first gonna kill it then I realized, this is Sonic the Hedgehog's DNA. I figured that if I had my hands on both the powers of chaos and speed, then we could REALLY rule the Tri-State area."

Victor started hugging Doof's legs. Doof cracked a smile and said, "Looks like you're a hungry one. Here, have a chili dog, on me!" Doof grabbed a chili dog from the kitchen and fed it to Victor.

Tails interrupted, "Doof, don't you think Sonic's DNA passed any memories onto the chao? Like, maybe they think I'm the bad guy, a threat to their evolutionary stability!"

The mad scientist gave Tails a Kubrick Stare. "You're smarter than you appear, Tails. But this is quite a conundrum we got ourselves into…"

John Wick stood between the two and interrupted Doofenshmirtz. "Doof, you have to turn off that machine."

"Well, mister John Wick, what do you think you're here for, to protect the Tri-State Area, or to protect me from Perry the Platypus?!"

"Well, I sure don't see a platypus anywhere around these parts… Turn off the machine Doofensmirtz… or else…"

John Wick proceeds to reload his pistol and point it at Victor.

Doofensmirtz gasps, "You wouldn't kill Victor, he's precious!"

"Well I killed hundreds of them on the way here, what's a name gonna do to make this one special?"

Tails, lying on the floor, coughing blood, chimes in, gasping onto life. "What about your dog, John?"

John wipes off a single tear as he puts away his gun. Victor jumps onto Doofenshmirtz, licking his face. Doof looks at John, who is stuck in deep thought, and speaks. "I used to think you fought for good, or at least against evil. But now I understand you abide by morals, and morals don't take kindly to good or bad. By fighting with morale, you fight for order. And I provide order to this cruel world. Yes, there were some unintended consequences to my experimentation, but in order to find out what works best for humanity, you must be willing to experiment and work out the kinks. Good, evil, order. There's not enough room for three metaphysical concepts in the American soul, so choose the proper one, and you'll live. I'll provide you clothes, weapons, anonymity, anything you want. As long as you kill that platypus, and keep this operation going, I can assure you will get what you want most- order. Let's heal Tails and get you ready for the most intense fight of your life."

John froze in place. Tails coughed one liter of blood too many and fainted. But with Sonic out of the picture and Perry MIA, Doof was ready to plan his next course of action.