A lanky, shivering right hand hovers over a phone handset interface before pressing its palm calmly on it's owner's hands. Finally, its nerves chant, some warmth in this dank, corrupt chamber known as the Quahog Police Department. After a few seconds of contemplation, the hand gifts its control back to his rightful owner- Cashew Disguisey. And for just a second, the young adult pretended that his seat wasn't torn to shreds by convicts past, that his job didn't consist of playing second fiddle to an alcoholic hypocrite, and that monitoring a floating island wasn't out of the ordinary. He heard the front doors of the prison swing wide open, followed by the familiar sounds of chains cackling, and then a single pair of footsteps. The blue hedgehog strutted past Cashew, begging for help. Cashew did nothing but stare at the poor bastard as he was thrown into a cell. Then, he heard Joe's sounds echo through his office: "as the defenders of our community, we will respond to any threat accordingly. In the meantime, we can't have you barging into hotels in the name of vigilante justice." Then, he heard a SLAM!

The poor assistant slouched back on his uncomfortable torn-up seat, waiting for his domineer to explain to him anything. Yet, the officer just wheeled past his office without a word. Tired, he rests his head on the security monitors, unaware that all the screens started dimming a neon shade of green. Out of nowhere, his right hand unconsciously slaps him across the face with a force so aggressive it may as well be considered "intense". The chair recoils from the slap, tearing clean in half, and Cashew slams to the ground. Stunned, the man looks at his hand and mutters, "what… what's going on?" Suddenly, Cashew's voice grows lighter and his hand begins mimicking a mouth.

The hand hauntingly confesses, "it is I, your father, Pistachio Disguisey!"

Cashew's eyes expand as he suddenly feels his pulse rise. Tears begin to form as the familiar voice of his father massages his ears, yet a streak of confusion melts his mind. Cashew stutters, "no… this can't be! You were killed back in Pakistan…"

"That's true, but I've been sent here to help you carry on the family tradition… I'm here to make you the next Master of Disguise…" his father-trapped-in-a-hand gracefully declared, all before nibbling bits of tears off his son's face.

Cashew grows a dumb fucking smirk and looks back at his hand. His father resumes, "good, good, let the drape flow through you…"

The son's dumb fucking smirk intensifies. Little does he know that his left hand is out of his control. It drags a drape over his entire body. Soon, he regains control over himself, and he pulls off the cloth. His right hand resumes, "good good great, look in the mirror, tell me what you see."

Cashew looks to his right and sees Joe staring right back. His dumb fucking smirk cools off into a reserved mighty Joe Swanson smirk. He stands up and looks at the mirror, pointing his left hand at his right hand. He asks, "is this… wait, my voice! It sounds immaculate… And my legs… They're stiff… What did you do?"

Pistachio's ghost confesses, "son, I imbued you with the powers bestowed upon me, my father, my father's father, and my father's father's father."

"And what about your father's father's father's father?"

"I'm not too sure about it, though your father's father's father's father's father was a master, I know that much is true. Anyway, our disguises are so powerful we can even fool our own body into thinking our legs don't work. It's like a reverse phantom pain."

"Reverse Phantom Pain, huh? That's something you don't learn in medical school."

"Trust me, you'll learn so much about the human body you can manipulate just about anything, including your sausage biscuits."

"Quit talking about food, I'm still recovering from last night. Taco Bell-" Cashew's funny fart joke was prematurely flushed down the toilet, as the sounds of a familiar face skirts down, grabbing two neon-haired bandits by their necks. This police officer comes up to Joe and asks him, "Hey Joe, sorry to interrupt your fart joke, but I found those Team Rocket traffickers."

The two criminals, bonded with handcuffs, look right at Cashew, and in a fit of rage, the purple-haired woman screams, "we're not traffickers, we're Jessie and James, no need to fear!"

James, the blue haired oaf, reads Joe's gritty face. He sighs, then cackles. With a sweat forming on his forehead, and with a 90% stupid face, he comfortly speaks, "yeah, we were just gonna grab the most powerful Pokemon and use them to shape the world in our-"

Jessie's instincts kick in, just as her leg kicks James' balls in. She triumphantly sighs, then looks back at Cashew, and qualifies, "actually, we have every reason to believe the universe needs saving, that's why we need Palkia and Dialga. To help Thanos."

Cashew remembers the video feed of Angel Island. The purple glowing lights resembled the aura emitted from the Power Stone. He sets the female police officer aside and says bluntly, "look, these guys are clearly delusional. Let me deal with them." The officer nodded out of respect and walked off. Then, Cashew looks at the two criminals and leads them into his office.

Sonic was thrown into a dank prison cell. The first thing he felt was a few thrown fists, directly at his head. He opens his eyes to find a young male, no older than 19, wearing the torn remains of a red mask scarred with ash. Sonic dashes past him and knocks over his concrete bed. The teen looks at Sonic with bloodshot eyes then wields his fist. Suddenly, he smashes it into a wall, tearing a wide hole in it. He looks back at the hedgehog, flips him off, and grunts, "CONSIDER THIS MERCY, SONIC."

The hedgehog stutters, "wait, you know me? That's impossible! I have never seen you before in my life! And just so you know, I'm not scared of your fists, you may swing fast, but not fast enough for Sonic."

The teenager mumbles, "STOP TALKING IN THE THIRD TENSE," but alas, the threat flies over the hedgehog's ears. He then screams, "ALRIGHT, I'LL TURN YOU TO PAST TENSE."

Sonic asks solemnly, "who are you?"

Holland spits in his face and pouts, "Fuck You."

The hedgehog chuckles, "you're great at first impressions."

"AND YOU'RE GREAT AT LAST IMPRESSIONS."

Sonic facepalms and sighs. After an extended pause, he finally utters something resembling a reasonable response. He asks, "wait, what does it mean when words come out of your mouth? You're a little bitch ass punk, but I know you know Thanos, and any help can be-"

The man with spider-like characteristics finally decompresses slightly. Slouching against the wall he punched, he interrogates, "you want help from Thanos now, huh? After all you've done for him, all the lives you sacrificed to achieve your goals, you're here… with me… You sold me out, Sonic. But more importantly, you sold out the universe."

Sonic gulps. He kneels down to Spider-Man as he confesses the darkest secret of all: "yes, I worked with Thanos to steal the Rose Quartz… but I didn't expect things to go this way. But I also didn't expect Angel Island to crash, and for my friends to perish. Spider-Man, I'm so sorry for your losses. But if we team up, we could get revenge and restore the universe together. It would be us, Sonic and Spider-Man: A Platonic Resurrection. Imagine that!"

Spider-Man's eyebrows peeve a bit, and his sound isolates on the rolling wheels of a wheelchair. He smiles as he swishes his arm towards the cell door and shoots a web into the police officer's pants. He pulls them down, revealing perfectly fine legs. Both prisoners, and the officer, appear equally shocked. The superhero asks, "wait, your legs are awfully normal for a handicapped man…" before swooping the key into his hands.

The officer's eyes raise. He then takes off his disguise and stands up, revealing himself to be Cashew. He stammers, "look, I'm just a guard here, but I believe Thanos…"

"is evil!" Spider-Man and Sonic jinxed.

"is protecting Angel Island," Cashew finishes. He then looks at the confused races radiating from the prisoners, then he scratches his neck, and states, "well, I mean, Angel Island's still floating thanks to the Power Stone…"

Spider-Man and Sonic look at each other and gleefully remorse, "which is channeled by Thanos."

Cashews then affirms, "well, we were thinking- well Jessie, James, and I that is- that we can harness the power of the Sinnoh legends themselves in order to preserve the island. Then Thanos can…"

"What? Destroy more of the galaxy?" Spider-Man pouts.

Cashews sighs, "well, we don't know. But if he's so willing to go out of his way to protect the Echidnas then who's to say he doesn't have a new heart for mortality? It's clear he's motivated to fight not a species but a few select targets, but who are these targets? We may not know, and the department doesn't care. But I do. Now, if we team up, we could stabilize the threat and maybe, just maybe, we can restore peace to humanity. Who's in?"

Spider-Man unlocks the key to the cell and walks out. Sonic joins the suite. As a group of 5, they walk to Cashew's office. There, he shows everyone the Angel Island footage. Sonic points at the video, taking notice of the golden blob on the bottom right corner of the frame. He taps on the screen and asks Cashew, "hey, can you zoom and enhance right here?" The frame zooms in and enhances. There, Thanos' gauntlet is revealed to be shining purple. Sonic smiles, then compliments, "well, that proves it. Thanos is saving our endangered people. Now, what's next?"

Cashew demands, "alright, I have an idea, we just need a couple of legendary Pokemon." Jessie and James smile as they pull out a Master Ball each, then they affirm, "got them!" The cop looks confused, before Jessie explains, "why did you think we were arrested to begin with?" He has no response.