Earlier in the morning…
WayBig Thanos begins tearing through a refurbished TriGro Plane manned by one John Wick. Realizing his life's at stake, he runs to grab a parachute. He looks inside the supply and spots Perry the Platypus rummaging through junk and finding the equipment. John takes one last look behind him and softly remarks, "those orphans sure are fucked, but together, we can escape and stop Thanos. We just need some time to rebound." Perry cackles in response. The two then don their parachutes, then Perry makes his way to the main lobby. John grabs the animal and softly whispers, "let's go through the pilot's window. There, nobody will see us. Any operation is stealthier when they assume you're dead." Thus, John and Perry sneak back to the pilot's deck and backflip through the window and out into the skies.
They safely deploy their parachutes and descend down to a nice sunny corn field. John and Perry lightly tap the ground and then look around their general surroundings. The tip of a flamethrower jabs John's head. Stunned, he does a 90 degree clockwise turn and finds a grouchy old businessman.
The man threatens, "I saw you bastards crash my plane, and now I'm gonna cook me some popcorn!"
Spontaneously, John sweep-kicks the man and grabs his weapon mid-air. He twirls it around his hand before locking it into place. John barks, "Grouch? It can't be. You died! Well, if you're begging for seconds, might as well deliver." He then scorches the man with the flamethrower, but the flames warp around his body. After 17 seconds of combating pure energy, John ceases fire.
Grouch dramatically laughs and announces, "the name's Darius Emmanuel Grouch the Third, or as some of my victims say, the Rumble. And unlike this plane you bastards destroyed, I'm immortal."
The mad titan roared from afar, and his thunderous scream rippled shockwaves powerful enough to knock down skylines. Even though The Rumble and his victims were deep into the rural grasslands outside Station Square, reverberations blew through the corn maze. John runs up to The Rumble and grabs him the scruff of his neck, then he points at the gusting winds and screams, "you feel THAT? That's who destroyed your damn ship! You got a problem, take it up to him."
Darius, The Rumble, peered to his side, and briefly captured a glimpse of the oversized Titan. He reverts back to his trademark poker face and replies, "that purple-chined motherfucker just messed with The Rumble, I tell ya what, how about me and my crew sedate you, maybe shoot a couple bullets in the air, and get to know exactly what the fuck you did to get in kahoots with the Titan, do I make myself clear?"
John nods, "yes. But just so you know, you won't be ready to face him."
Grouch lets out a soft fart and replies, "you think I give a shit about that titan, my allies are much more powerful than you think. Alpha Code Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, initiate."
The assassin looks forward and finds five middle-aged men coming out of the corn stalks and start approaching John. A stubby man with a medium-length beard walks up carrying a drenched towelette, and two other men grab John's limbs tightly, essentially trapping him in place. The bearded man stalks up to John's face, and John instinctively headbutts him then swings his elbows backwards, stunning the two men grasping onto him. The man to his left drops down, while the bearded man backflips three times to regain distance. John looks to his right and finds the guard panicking, begging necessity, "please, don't kill me!" He coughs a bit of blood out.
John looks at the man on the ground and tears a corn off the vine. He bashes the hard end into the guy's jaw, and he continues to jam it all up in there. He twists the vegetable further into his esophagus, then once his victim's nose starts hyperventilating, he slams the corpse back on the ground. He then aggressively stomps the dude to his left, and the soothing sound of a snapped neck puts a smile on the assassin's face. Then, he looks through the crops, where he could see the bearded man working with a fourth accomplice to tune an acoustic guitar. A fifth henchman reveals himself with a soothing piano, though John knows not to follow such a distraction. He stalks up to Grouch, who is thoroughly enjoying the carnage, then swoops the gun in his pocket. John notices it's lighter than usual, but he twirls it around and points it at The Rumble's head.
In a horrible twist of fate,The Rumble smiles and teases, "you fool." He then pulls out his Platinum-Encrusted Desert Eagle and points it back at him. Cockingly, he bluffs, "there's a saying in my realm that translates roughly to, 'when you steal someone's heart, always bite the reddest muscles first.' In layman's terms, it means, 'you stole the pistol with no ammo.' Typical dipshit move. Now, die."
Darius cocks his pistol, but John bashes the supposedly-empty magazine in his head and shatters it with such a force that one bullet flew right into The Rumble's heart, but it bounces right off him. John ducks, and the bullet strikes the fifth henchman. His head slams on the grand piano and plays a powerful note that shatters the corn husks. Every kernel of corn tears from their habitat and gestates into a powerful laser that instantly annihilates John, piercing a hole through his chest. He drops down and stares at Perry hiding in the bush. With puppy-eyes, he whispers to him, "remember what I said…"
The platypus snarls as he walks further from the scene, yet Darius spots the creature. He grabs his walkie talkie and demands, "all eyes on the platypus!"
The bearded front-man finishes tuning his guitar as he hears The Rumble's commands. He picks up the instrument and starts strumming it slowly. Each note sounds slow yet fires with an ample punch normally expected from a high-velocity chord, and they all punch through John's ears, triggering an explosion that decapitates John. Brains splatter over the ground, and Grouch smiles as his torso plops to the ground. The platypus looks back to spot the corpse and tilts his fedora downward, commemorating his fallen comrade. He then jumps up and directly pounces on the guitarist, claws his face rapidly, tearing through skin. The fourth man, standing next to the guitarist, grabs out a flute in a panic, but Perry jumps on him, grabs the flute, and jabs it back into the guitarist's screaming face. Perry jumps back onto his head as the flute riggers a firey wind that scorches the fourth assailant.
Suddenly, another gust of wind annihilates the cornfield, and another man scales out of a ladder hanging from a Gold-Encrusted Private Jet. He find Grouch lying on the ground. Meanwhile, Perry grabs the bearded man's guitar and smashes it against his bleeding chest, triggering an intense scream that sends an ultra-powerful supersonic ring that smashes The Rumble's eardrums, triggering crunchy blood splatters to drizzle out of his lobes. The sixth man runs up and grabs The Rumble's body. He points to the platypus, but the platypus spots them and tears the flute out of the guitarist's jaw, tearing apart chunks of teeth. However, as soon as Perry puts his mouth on the flute, a tranquilizer dart hits him in the eye. The sixth man puts down his gun and walks up to the platypus and carries him and Darius both to the plane, where he flies off. Where to? Only God knows…