Disasterpiece Theater
We like piña coladas and
getting caught in the rain.
Instead of being in the stuffy library set, Lia's moved the show to the beach. Right now the author is sitting in a reclined beach chair, wearing a blue halter-top and a pair of denim short (and the evil flip flops) and holding a strawberry daiquiri. It's non-alcoholic, considering the author's only fifteen, so it's more like a Dunkin Donuts strawberry Coolatta.
"Welcome to another week of mindless mayhem from Disasterpiece Theater. I'm your host, Lia Agianna, who just tripped over the same freaking rock twice. I think my toe is broken! Anyway, let's get right to the story. Today's big winner is…Sora!"
"Did you call?"
"No, I didn't, Sora. Go back to protecting Matt from the fangirls while I host my show."
"Okay!"
~*~
Sora was in her room, reorganizing her already incredibly organized closet. Lo and behold, from the depths of neatly folded sweaters and a few rows of used soccer cleats, comes the Lucky Hat. For those of you who don't remember, Sora's Lucky Hat was that blue, bowl-like thing that she wore constantly last season. It was hard as a rock one episode and squishy the next. Yup, that hat.
"Wow, I haven't seen this in ages! I can't believe I found it!" she said in her usual perky manner.
Trying it on for old time's sake, Sora discovered that the Lucky Hat, by the grace of Kami-Sama, still fit.
Figuring it would be an interesting reminder of some of the old adventures, Sora decided to wear the Lucky Hat to the party Tai had thrown together at the last minute. It was supposed to be an end-of-school blowout, but Joe was still stuck in med school so they changed it to something other than school. Of course, Tai had twisted Matt's arm and forced him to rent the room at the restaurant.
"Why me?"
"Because you're the rock star!"
"That doesn't make me rich! Don't forget, I pay for everything at home because my dad is too busy working and getting drunk. That paycheck has to last!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, save me the sob story."
Sora shook her head, remembering how long it took for the others to get those two to shut up.
At least they weren't beating each other bloody.
The minute she walked into the room everybody just stopped. Dead cold. Nicki and Matt had even stopped mid-squabble to stare at her.
"What? What?" Sora questioned, noticing the bizarre looks from all sides.
"You're wearing that hat," Izzy pointed out.
"Yeah, so? It's my Lucky Hat. I thought it would be a good reminder for all the things we did when we were the Digidestined."
"Sora, that hat brought nothing but trouble! It's cursed! Get it away from me!" Mimi squealed.
"I'm allergic to that hat," Joe sighed.
"I don't see the problem. It's a hat," Yolei mentioned.
"It's a satanic hat from the gates of Hell," T.K. said morosely, sounding like Goth T.K. from the Lost Temple of Ishida.
"I wasn't even around and I know that that hat was the cause of most destruction!" Lia added.
"I bet that hat was responsible for Matt trying to kill Tai," Gatomon muttered, filing her claws.
"BakaYama!" Nicki shouted, splashing the blonde with her punch.
"I'll kill you!"
"See? It's starting already! Get rid of it, Sora, before more damage is caused!" Tai moaned.
"That's nothing. It would've happened, hat or no hat. Just because Nicki splashed Matt with punch doesn't mean my hat is cursed."
Just then Davis started hollering black-and-blue bloody murder, running around the room like a madman.
"Davis?! What's wrong?" Ken asked.
Davis motioned to his egg roll, then stuck out his tongue. A small mousetrap was fixed to the end of it.
Everyone eyed Sora suspiciously. "It's not the hat!"
"Sho then how did a moushetrap get in Davish's egg roll?" Chibimon (not Demiveemon, never Demiveemon) questioned. "Huh?"
"Coincidence!"
"Matt, your face!" Mimi pointed in horror, tossing our fave bishounen a mirror. The punch Nicki had splashed on him had turned his skin a lovely shade of magenta, not to mention the hair caught in the fruit-flavored tidal wave.
"Oh, this is lovely. Just fabulous. I look like a Smurf with a sunburn!"
"Sora…"
"I'm telling you, it isn't the hat!"
Within the next half hour, more and more mayhem ensued. Lia tripped over or banged into everything trip-overable or bangable, Tai had his hair caught in a fan, Izzy's laptop crashed at least ten times, Cody found half a rat in something he was eating, Yolei's and Mimi's hair turned bright green, and Wormmon was abducted by a fisherman in a yellow coat. Patamon had to rescue him. It wasn't pretty.
"SORA, GET RID OF THE HAT!"
"All right, all right, I'll get rid of the hat. Sheesh. I still say it was all a coincidence."
Sora started walking home with her hat, trying to figure out how her hat could be unlucky.
"It's a lucky hat, not an unlucky hat. So why did all of that happen?"
Actually, the hat wasn't Sora's Lucky Hat at all. Her Lucky Hat was lost somewhere in the prop department, along with Matt's gloves, Joe's sweatervest, T.K.'s fruitbowl of a hat, and Kari's whistle. The Lucky Hat she had in her closet was a spare that N**** and B******* put in her closet before we blew them up…or before they got fired. Whichever comes first. And just as Sora got outside her apartment building, she tripped over her own pink plastic flip-flops and fell into a puddle, ruining her nifty outfit.
"Okay, so maybe the hat is cursed."
~*~
"I know, I know, the story wasn't very Sora-ish. I didn't want to do a Sorato because all the other Matt or Sora pair-up advocates would balk and besides, Sora generally has the personality of a wet paper bag. So, keep it here on FF.net and stay tuned for another disaster from Disasterpiece Theater. Keep cool!"
And as Lia got up to get a can of Nestea from the cooler next to her beach chair, a rogue Frisbee flung by Tai whapped her in the head, causing her to tumble over the cooler and end up with a huge bruise and a mouthful of sand.
"STUPID FLIP-FLOPS!"
~*~
Go now and review, or you shall receive Sora's Unlucky Hat…or worse, BLUE PLASTIC OLD NAVY FLIP-FLOPS!!!!
The horror, the
horror!