Disasterpiece Theater
5% Refundable in ME, MA, RI,
CT, OH
We're still broadcasting from the Agianna media room, where Lia's sitting in front of her PC. Her younger sister Nicole, fashion maven, is twitching on the pullout couch while the youngest sister, Christy, is in her bedroom caterwauling to O-Town.
"Welcome to another weekend of Disasterpiece Theater. I'm your exhausted host, Lia. One week of work and I'm already tired…but that's a different fanfic. Today we're giving the magic of the Disasterpiece to…"
Lia takes her plastic hardhat and holds it out in front of her sister. Nicole roots around in the paper slips and yanks one out, handing it to her anime-obsessed older sister.
"Okay, we've got…T.K.!!"
~*~
T.K., the perpetually cheerful preteen, was lounging around the house. His mother, Petra…I mean, Nancy…was out shopping and Patamon was off fighting crime in the guise of his alter ego, Batpig. So there was really nothing for the squirt to do. Hassling his brother wasn't as enjoyable since it was Nicki's official job, and Kari was off doing something Kari-ish.
Just then the phone rang.
"Takashi residence, T.K. speaking."
"T.K., honey, it's Mom. I'm stuck in a huge line in Old Navy and it may take a while so if you're not doing anything run down to the store and pick up a few things."
Those "few things" just happened to be half of Nancy's grocery list. But, being the perpetually cheerful preteen he is, T.K. didn't mind at all.
~*~
On the way to the Inoue's convenience store, which is about as nameless as Matt's band was up until that stupid Super Bowl thing, T.K. happened to notice his reflection in a window. Little did he know that it wasn't his reflection, but his evil twin. So, T.K. was staring at the evil twin, and the evil twin was staring back.
Yes, Lost Temple fans, it's Goth T.K.!!! Goth T.K. © Claire Ishida @
The Lost Temple of Ishida. This fanfic is the result of reading a doujinshi
created by Koani for the Lost Temple. It's hers, I just wanted to borrow the
concept.
Goth T.K. is basically T.K. wearing black, his shirt clearly says "Death" on it, and he sports heavy black makeup. That and he's pure evil.
So T.K. started waving, and Goth T.K. waved back. T.K. frantically ran around like an idiot, and thus Goth T.K. followed suit. But when T.K. struck a fairly Card Captor pose and Goth T.K. crossed his fingers (the old 'ward off evil' sign), both boys blinked and shrieked.
"Oh my God! What happened to me?!"
"Ack! Doppelganger!"
T.K stared at Goth T.K. for a moment. "And how did you get here?"
G.T.K. shrugged. "Warp in the space-time-fanfic continuum."
T.K. held his head in his hands. "Oh man, in another dimension I'm a freak of nature!"
G.T.K. tackled his goody-goody counterpart and the two of them started grappling on the ground. T.K. ended up pinning his gothic foe.
"Ha-ha, pinned ya."
Goth T.K. smirked. "Oh, so you think I'm beaten, eh? FLUFFY!!!"
~*~
Tai was sitting on the couch, watching Toonami on Cartoon Network, when there was a rustle and a Tokomon popped out of his vast expanse of hair.
"I'll be back later! Takeru, I'm-a-coming!"
Tai blinked. "Did a Tokomon just come out of my hair or was I dreaming?"
~*~
T.K. scoffed at Goth T.K. and Fluffy, the nearsighted Tokomon with the Tai obsession. "You think that scares me? Think again, makeup boy."
Goth T.K. grabbed the waist of T.K.'s turquoise shorts and dumped Fluffy into them.
A few moments of frantic scrabbling, and T.K. managed to hoist the pink piggish thing out of his briefs.
"That's…nothing…compared…to…what…Lia…puts…us…through," he panted.
"YOU DESTROY ME!!!" Goth T.K. shouted, realizing Fluffy had failed in ruining T.K.
"And what's more, Teekay, I know your weaknesses."
Goth T.K. sweatdropped. "W-weaknesses? I don't have any *gulp* weaknesses."
Our T.K. grinned. "Oh yes, you do. So says Claire, headmistress of the Lost Temple, where you belong."
~*~
Patamon was running down Broadway in Gotham City, dressed in cape and cowl and being chased by a ten-story Oscar Meyer wiener. That was when his official Batpig Cell Phone rang.
"Batpig here! I'm kind of in the middle of something, so can I call you back?"
"Patamon, it's T.K. My evil twin from one of Lia's regular website haunts has manifested, dumped a Tokomon down my pants, and threatens to draw and quarter me and use my viscera for Christmas decorations. You wanna give me a hand?"
"Umm, I'm sorta being chased by a ten-story hot dog. Can you give me ten min…oh, crap."
The hot dog exploded in a shower of processed meat, all thanks to the Cyclops-style *air quotes* laser vision of the Alliance's Kaiser.
"STUPID ALLIANCE! I WILL UNMASK YOOOOOU!" Patamon shrieked before going back to his phone call. "I'll be right there, T.K."
~*~
Meanwhile, Davish and Ken were playing foosball in Davis's room, with Veemon and Wormmon engaged in heated mortal combat.
"No! You let Luigi die again!" Wormmon groaned.
"Hey, he doeshn't desherve the Princhessh anywaysh."
"Davis, phone call!" Jun shouted in her usual nails-on-a-chalkboard shriek.
Davis took the call and returned to the foosball table.
"Who called, Dai?" Ken asked.
"T.I.-double-G.ER. Says something about me needing to help him stop an evil twin with a Tai-obsessed Tokomon."
"Oh. If you're going out, come back with a jar of marshmallow fluff. I have a brilliant idea for later."
Ken winked, sending Davis running out of the room and leaving Veemon and Wormmon confused.
~*~
Goth T.K. dropped Fluffy down T.K.'s shorts again, and again T.K. managed to fish him out before anyone caught sight of him rummaging around in his pants.
(Such things are inappropriate!)
"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the strawberry Italian ice when you wanted lemon! I am…Patamon!"
"And I'm Davis! So, where's this so-called evil twin, T.B.I.N.G.O.?"
Goth T.K. turned ashen. "Not that! Not The Patamon! The Patamon destroys me! And Daisuke destroys me! Keep back, panty-thief! Keep your small hair and your panty-stealing self away!"
T.K. whispered something to Davis and handed him a box.
"You want a pin, Takeru?"
Goth T.K. screamed and took off back through the time-space-fanfic continuum, with Fluffy in tow.
"Hurry up, Takeru! I wanna go hang out with Indiana Toko from Cloud's site and be home for my five o'clock Tai glomping!"
T.K. sighed in relief. "Thanks, guys. I'm glad that's over with."
Davis nodded. "But it could be worse, man. It could've been all of Matt's alter egos. You know, like Indiana Matt, or Digimon Ka…"
A piano dropped out of nowhere and squashed Davis Looney-Tunes style. He popped out of the middle, spitting out the keys.
"Lia, why'd you just drop a piano on Davis?" T.K. asked.
He was about to ruin a franchise for me. Sorry Dais, I still love ya.
And thus ends T.K.'s
malady with his evil twin, Goth T.K.
~*~
"I'm Lia Agianna, and this has been Disasterpiece Theater
reminding you that I'm the one to turn to for insanity. Special thanks going
out to Claire, Koani, and Cloud for coming up with their characters, which were
unknowingly nicked for this. I put a copyright! Don't get mad at me! I only
wanted to borrow them!"
~*~
Send me a review or have an enraged, nearsighted, Tai-obsessed Tokomon shoved down your pants.
Concise, Lia, very concise.