The Meaning of Beautiful
By: Gypsy Tollamer
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Gypsy: Here's part 11 as promised! I've had an okay week but yesterday was a very bad day. For all my fans in New York I may be moving up there to attend The American Musical and Dramatic Academy.. WOO HOO! If not, I'll just be at CSU in good old Georgia... Now, this chapter may be a little sad... WAIT THE WHOLE GOSH DARN FIC'S DEPRESSING!
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An hour had passed since they had been told to be in their rooms. Visiting hour had been long over but it was fresh in Quatre's mind. His parents had been a little supportive. They had been asked to give Quatre Zech's suicide letter seeing as it was addressed to him. It still lay unopened in Quatre's hand. He just sat in the window seat looking out the window where the clouds were pouring rainwater tears onto the earth which needed them.
"Does that mean that the world needs tears and sadness to survive?" Quatre thought as he watched. "Is it meant to be like this? Am I supposed to be here? Is Zechs supposed to be dead? Am I to be alone for all eternity?"
"Man you're depressing me." Duo said from the chair on the other side of the room. "Smile a bit Quat."
"No thankyou Duo." he said turning back to the window. He saw Iris looking at him through her window. She pulled out her dry erase board and wrote something.
QUAT, I'M SORRY.
Quatre picked up Duo's board and wrote back.
IRIS, I FEEL USELESS IN HERE.
Iris looked worried and smiled while she wrote her response
I KNOW. I FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES. BUT YOU ARE OF SOME USE HERE! YOU KEEP ME FROM GOING OFF THE DEEP END.
Quatre just stared at her and felt a tear go down his cheek.
IF ONLY I HAD BEEN THERE FOR ZECHS. THEN MAYBE HE WOULDN'T HAD GONE OFF THE DEEP END!
Iris looked shocked.
DID HE BLAME HIS SUICIDE ON YOU? IS THAT WAS WAS IN HIS LETTER?
Quatre looked down at the letter that slightly creased and wrinkled.
I HAVEN'T READ IT YET....
Iris stared at him.
THEN READ THE THING DUMB ASS AND STOP TALKING TO ME!
Then Iris left her window and Quatre saw the blinds go down. He then sighed and ripped open the envelope. In side he could already see Zech's personalized stationary.
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Dear Quatre,
I heard about you today. I'm so sorry! You're probably the best thing that ever walked into my view and I hurt you. I let you go and I was selfish. I'm sorry. Now, I'll never get you back. I'm not sure why I told you that you were fat and not as pretty as you could be.I'm sorry I told you only thin people were pretty. I thought you were the most heavenly thing God had ever created. It was as if this little demon was on my shoulder whispering in my ear telling me to say those awful things to you. I really didn't mean it. I wish I could take it back. I wish we were still together. I wish a lot ot things. But they won't ever come true. If you're reading this then your parents already told you. I wanted to come see you earlier but the guard said it wasn't visiting day. I'd bought you a bouquet of tiger lillies. Your favorites. Expensive little suckers. They're now in my room and in a few hours they'll be in my car. You know what I did right? I'm planning on taking my car tonight at about 2 in the morning and driving it around a bit. Getting the speed up and such and then I'll speed down the road toward the South River Bridge. The one we walked on and confessed our love for eachother. Then in the spot where I first kissed you I'll drive off the bridge. Sailing my car into the stars before plunging it into the river. You think that's dramatic enough? Think my Dad will even notice I'm gone? But more importantly: Do you think they'll let you come to my funeral? I want you there. I want you to have all my things. I loved you Quatre Winner. I let you slip through my fingers and I'm sorry if I hurt you. Please forgive me for those things I said to you. And please forgive me for killing myself. I see No other way! I would come see you one last time but the next visiting day is Saturday and I can't make it that far! I'm sure the person who found this note already read it so I'll stop now. I can't think of anything else to say to you except that I love you, and that I'm so very sorry. Please forgive me Quatre. My little bunny-faced Quatre. Remember one last thing please.....
I'll always love you and I'll always be watching over you because I need to be with you. Like a fish needs water I need my Quatre.
-Zechs
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Quatre brought his head up and looked out the window.
"I forgive you Zechs." he thought and then he just burst into tears.
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END OF PART 11
By: Gypsy Tollamer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gypsy: Here's part 11 as promised! I've had an okay week but yesterday was a very bad day. For all my fans in New York I may be moving up there to attend The American Musical and Dramatic Academy.. WOO HOO! If not, I'll just be at CSU in good old Georgia... Now, this chapter may be a little sad... WAIT THE WHOLE GOSH DARN FIC'S DEPRESSING!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour had passed since they had been told to be in their rooms. Visiting hour had been long over but it was fresh in Quatre's mind. His parents had been a little supportive. They had been asked to give Quatre Zech's suicide letter seeing as it was addressed to him. It still lay unopened in Quatre's hand. He just sat in the window seat looking out the window where the clouds were pouring rainwater tears onto the earth which needed them.
"Does that mean that the world needs tears and sadness to survive?" Quatre thought as he watched. "Is it meant to be like this? Am I supposed to be here? Is Zechs supposed to be dead? Am I to be alone for all eternity?"
"Man you're depressing me." Duo said from the chair on the other side of the room. "Smile a bit Quat."
"No thankyou Duo." he said turning back to the window. He saw Iris looking at him through her window. She pulled out her dry erase board and wrote something.
QUAT, I'M SORRY.
Quatre picked up Duo's board and wrote back.
IRIS, I FEEL USELESS IN HERE.
Iris looked worried and smiled while she wrote her response
I KNOW. I FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES. BUT YOU ARE OF SOME USE HERE! YOU KEEP ME FROM GOING OFF THE DEEP END.
Quatre just stared at her and felt a tear go down his cheek.
IF ONLY I HAD BEEN THERE FOR ZECHS. THEN MAYBE HE WOULDN'T HAD GONE OFF THE DEEP END!
Iris looked shocked.
DID HE BLAME HIS SUICIDE ON YOU? IS THAT WAS WAS IN HIS LETTER?
Quatre looked down at the letter that slightly creased and wrinkled.
I HAVEN'T READ IT YET....
Iris stared at him.
THEN READ THE THING DUMB ASS AND STOP TALKING TO ME!
Then Iris left her window and Quatre saw the blinds go down. He then sighed and ripped open the envelope. In side he could already see Zech's personalized stationary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Quatre,
I heard about you today. I'm so sorry! You're probably the best thing that ever walked into my view and I hurt you. I let you go and I was selfish. I'm sorry. Now, I'll never get you back. I'm not sure why I told you that you were fat and not as pretty as you could be.I'm sorry I told you only thin people were pretty. I thought you were the most heavenly thing God had ever created. It was as if this little demon was on my shoulder whispering in my ear telling me to say those awful things to you. I really didn't mean it. I wish I could take it back. I wish we were still together. I wish a lot ot things. But they won't ever come true. If you're reading this then your parents already told you. I wanted to come see you earlier but the guard said it wasn't visiting day. I'd bought you a bouquet of tiger lillies. Your favorites. Expensive little suckers. They're now in my room and in a few hours they'll be in my car. You know what I did right? I'm planning on taking my car tonight at about 2 in the morning and driving it around a bit. Getting the speed up and such and then I'll speed down the road toward the South River Bridge. The one we walked on and confessed our love for eachother. Then in the spot where I first kissed you I'll drive off the bridge. Sailing my car into the stars before plunging it into the river. You think that's dramatic enough? Think my Dad will even notice I'm gone? But more importantly: Do you think they'll let you come to my funeral? I want you there. I want you to have all my things. I loved you Quatre Winner. I let you slip through my fingers and I'm sorry if I hurt you. Please forgive me for those things I said to you. And please forgive me for killing myself. I see No other way! I would come see you one last time but the next visiting day is Saturday and I can't make it that far! I'm sure the person who found this note already read it so I'll stop now. I can't think of anything else to say to you except that I love you, and that I'm so very sorry. Please forgive me Quatre. My little bunny-faced Quatre. Remember one last thing please.....
I'll always love you and I'll always be watching over you because I need to be with you. Like a fish needs water I need my Quatre.
-Zechs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quatre brought his head up and looked out the window.
"I forgive you Zechs." he thought and then he just burst into tears.
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END OF PART 11