1 The Meaning of Beautiful
By: Gypsy Tollamer
Gypsy: Hey everybody! Happy spring break! You all should be thankful for this holiday because I basically have nothing to do! Except write a 90-page paper for a class, Sleep, hangs out with my pals, sunbathe and paint my toenails! Of course one of the first things on my list was to update this fic! I want to give you the low down fist. There are only going to be 20 chapters for this fic and then there will be a sequel. I have my ideas all planned out. The only thing I'm still working out is the title for the sequel. I mean the title for this fic was so perfect I might not be able to live up to it. Some one also asked me why I was writing this. One there isn't enough knowledge out about eating disorders. I was bulimic when I was in 6th grade and now I'm a size 16 and extremely happy. I'd rather be over weight and happy then skinny and miserable. I want to thank you all for reading my work and telling me how much you enjoyed it. It means more then you can even imagine. I love you all and I love hearing from each and every one of you all. Bee if you are reading this you haven't been answering my emails and I NEED to speak with you. You too Link! AND IRIS! Where are you girl? I miss you guys! I'm done ranting but I have one more question. Is this fic too dark? Because I have an alternate ending if it is getting too heavy.
Quatre rolled on his other side. The sun was in his eyes. It had been two days since Meiren had died and Quatre had his experience in the tank. Now he just felt drained and couldn't even stand to get up. It was a visitor's day. Usually he would have been happy to see his parents but not today. He just didn't feel like seeing anyone. Suddenly Nurse Une came in.
"Hi sweetie." She said carrying in a tray. "You're going to feel a little drained so I brought your tray in." After he went hysterical two days ago they had been feeding him through the IV in his hand. "Sit up." She said.
Quatre struggled and after a little help from her he was successfully sitting up.
She removed the tray cover. The smell of pancakes made Quatre sick to his stomach. Not like the clinic pancakes were bad or anything. They were great; the cafeteria staff always tried to make the food as yummy as possible to help feed the kids who were starving themselves.
"Eat." Nurse Une said.
"I can't." he said. "I just can't." Quatre felt the tears come to his eyes.
"Why not?" she asked wiping the tears that slowly slid down Quatre's cheeks.
"I can't bear to, I've gone past help, past hell. Life seems so pointless now." He said. "I wish I could but I can't bring my self to live a full life in such a dismal place."
Nurse Une smiled and picked up the cup of orange juice. She put a straw in it and sat on the side of the bed cradling Quatre like a small child.
"Please drink this for me." She said.
Quatre took the cup and took a few sips. His stomach settled slightly.
"You know that Dr. Kushrenada is sorry that he accidentally left you in the tank. It was really hectic here." She said.
"Not his fault." He said. "It was her."
"Who?" Nurse Une asked watching Quatre take a sip.
"Don't you hear her?" he asked. " I do, all the time! She yells at me. She had them kill Meiren, she wants me dead. She's never quiet."
"Who?" Nurse Une asked becoming slightly alarmed.
"Dorothy. She's evil. She won't stop." He said having tears come to eyes.
"Do you hear her now?" she asked.
"Yes." He stammered. "She's behind you and she yelling at me."
"I'm going to call Dr. Kushrenada." She said letting go of Quatre and grabbing her radio from Duo's bed. She stood at the door.
"No one loves you. Go ahead die. Don't eat! You're not worthy! Stop it Quatre! You're ruining my plans to make the world a better place. The world would be a better place without you." Dorothy said in his ear. "They think your crazy. They'll lock you up and then you'll die. I'll kill you. They'll think you did it!"
" STOP IT!" Quatre yelled kicking his legs and sending the tray against the wall "Stop it! Please stop! I Don't Want To!" He tried to hurl her against the wall like he did that tray. She grabbed him and forced him against the bed again. Quatre struggled in the demon's grip and screamed a scream that could be heard across the clinic.
Nurse Une stood there help less. There that angelic child was screaming as if some one was trying to kill him. She began looking for her emergency shot kit. Treize and Sally came running in. Sally had the shot kit in her hands. Treize ran over to Quatre's bed and held him down.
"Do it Sally!" he yelled.
"Don't hurt me!" Quatre screamed. Sally took the needle and pushed it into Quatre's IV. "I won't! You can't make me!"
After a minute or so of struggling. The screams turned into sobs and Quatre lay underneath Treize crying like a lost child. Which he was.
"Dorothy stop." He cried. "Stop yelling me…"
The sedative took ahold of the teenage and he drifted off into a light sleep.
"What was that?" Treize asked getting off the bed.
"You're bleeding." Sally said taking Treize's arm and bandaging the scratches on Treize's arms.
"He must have scratched me with his fingernails." Treize said.
"But he has no fingernails." Une said and then she lifted the sleeves on Quatre's pajamas. Identical claw marks were all over his arms.
There were others too. One his legs, torso and on the back of his neck.
"Is he hurting himself?" Treize asked.
"If he was how would give you identical marks?" Sally asked.
"He was talking about hearing voice." Une said. "Do you think he could suffer from DID or schizophrenia?"
"Maybe I don't know right now. He was doing so well." Treize said. "Hearing voices? Why didn't he tell me he was hearing voices."
"Maybe an underlying metal illness were causing him to starve himself." Sally said.
"We won't know until we talk to him." Treize said. "Let's clean up the mess and then let him sleep."
Duo was looking down at his roommate. Iris stood at the doorway.
"How is he?" She asked coming in slowly.
"Nurse Une said he's heavily sedated and he probably won't wake up until tonight." He said.
"Poor Quatre." She said. "What's wrong with him?"
"I was listening outside the door. They said he's been hearing voices." He said.
"you're kidding. Quatre's hearing voice? That's not possible." She said.
"Quatre's just like me." Iris and Duo thought at the same time.
"Heero coming today?" Iris asked.
"yeah." He said. "Do you think Quatre would mind if I borrowed something from his closet?"
"no." she said. Duo went into the bathroom and iris heard the shower going.
"You'll beat this Quatre." Iris said. "You've got to. I'm not strong enough to. I need you to win and maybe then I'll have a chance. Meiren seemed so strong but she couldn't beat her inner demon but you can Quatre. You've got to Quatre. For your own sake and my own."
There was a knock at the door. Iris turned to see Cathy's brother Trowa at the door.
"Hi Trowa." She said.
"I came to see Quatre and give him this." He said holding a small wrapped box.
"he's sick." She said turning back to Quatre. Trowa came to the bed.
"He looks so small." He said.
"I know." She answered. "Well I'm going to go see if my mom and dad left any messages for me." She then left the room. She knew there were no messages. Her parents didn't care that much.
Trowa leaned over the bed and set the present on the side table. It was an angel snow globe. Quatre was so beautiful and sad looking. And now he looked so small and frail.
"If you can hear me Quatre You have to get better. So I have the chance to fall in love with you." He said as he kissed Quatre's pale hand gently.
END!
Gypsy: Yea!!! Go Gypsy!
By: Gypsy Tollamer
Gypsy: Hey everybody! Happy spring break! You all should be thankful for this holiday because I basically have nothing to do! Except write a 90-page paper for a class, Sleep, hangs out with my pals, sunbathe and paint my toenails! Of course one of the first things on my list was to update this fic! I want to give you the low down fist. There are only going to be 20 chapters for this fic and then there will be a sequel. I have my ideas all planned out. The only thing I'm still working out is the title for the sequel. I mean the title for this fic was so perfect I might not be able to live up to it. Some one also asked me why I was writing this. One there isn't enough knowledge out about eating disorders. I was bulimic when I was in 6th grade and now I'm a size 16 and extremely happy. I'd rather be over weight and happy then skinny and miserable. I want to thank you all for reading my work and telling me how much you enjoyed it. It means more then you can even imagine. I love you all and I love hearing from each and every one of you all. Bee if you are reading this you haven't been answering my emails and I NEED to speak with you. You too Link! AND IRIS! Where are you girl? I miss you guys! I'm done ranting but I have one more question. Is this fic too dark? Because I have an alternate ending if it is getting too heavy.
Quatre rolled on his other side. The sun was in his eyes. It had been two days since Meiren had died and Quatre had his experience in the tank. Now he just felt drained and couldn't even stand to get up. It was a visitor's day. Usually he would have been happy to see his parents but not today. He just didn't feel like seeing anyone. Suddenly Nurse Une came in.
"Hi sweetie." She said carrying in a tray. "You're going to feel a little drained so I brought your tray in." After he went hysterical two days ago they had been feeding him through the IV in his hand. "Sit up." She said.
Quatre struggled and after a little help from her he was successfully sitting up.
She removed the tray cover. The smell of pancakes made Quatre sick to his stomach. Not like the clinic pancakes were bad or anything. They were great; the cafeteria staff always tried to make the food as yummy as possible to help feed the kids who were starving themselves.
"Eat." Nurse Une said.
"I can't." he said. "I just can't." Quatre felt the tears come to his eyes.
"Why not?" she asked wiping the tears that slowly slid down Quatre's cheeks.
"I can't bear to, I've gone past help, past hell. Life seems so pointless now." He said. "I wish I could but I can't bring my self to live a full life in such a dismal place."
Nurse Une smiled and picked up the cup of orange juice. She put a straw in it and sat on the side of the bed cradling Quatre like a small child.
"Please drink this for me." She said.
Quatre took the cup and took a few sips. His stomach settled slightly.
"You know that Dr. Kushrenada is sorry that he accidentally left you in the tank. It was really hectic here." She said.
"Not his fault." He said. "It was her."
"Who?" Nurse Une asked watching Quatre take a sip.
"Don't you hear her?" he asked. " I do, all the time! She yells at me. She had them kill Meiren, she wants me dead. She's never quiet."
"Who?" Nurse Une asked becoming slightly alarmed.
"Dorothy. She's evil. She won't stop." He said having tears come to eyes.
"Do you hear her now?" she asked.
"Yes." He stammered. "She's behind you and she yelling at me."
"I'm going to call Dr. Kushrenada." She said letting go of Quatre and grabbing her radio from Duo's bed. She stood at the door.
"No one loves you. Go ahead die. Don't eat! You're not worthy! Stop it Quatre! You're ruining my plans to make the world a better place. The world would be a better place without you." Dorothy said in his ear. "They think your crazy. They'll lock you up and then you'll die. I'll kill you. They'll think you did it!"
" STOP IT!" Quatre yelled kicking his legs and sending the tray against the wall "Stop it! Please stop! I Don't Want To!" He tried to hurl her against the wall like he did that tray. She grabbed him and forced him against the bed again. Quatre struggled in the demon's grip and screamed a scream that could be heard across the clinic.
Nurse Une stood there help less. There that angelic child was screaming as if some one was trying to kill him. She began looking for her emergency shot kit. Treize and Sally came running in. Sally had the shot kit in her hands. Treize ran over to Quatre's bed and held him down.
"Do it Sally!" he yelled.
"Don't hurt me!" Quatre screamed. Sally took the needle and pushed it into Quatre's IV. "I won't! You can't make me!"
After a minute or so of struggling. The screams turned into sobs and Quatre lay underneath Treize crying like a lost child. Which he was.
"Dorothy stop." He cried. "Stop yelling me…"
The sedative took ahold of the teenage and he drifted off into a light sleep.
"What was that?" Treize asked getting off the bed.
"You're bleeding." Sally said taking Treize's arm and bandaging the scratches on Treize's arms.
"He must have scratched me with his fingernails." Treize said.
"But he has no fingernails." Une said and then she lifted the sleeves on Quatre's pajamas. Identical claw marks were all over his arms.
There were others too. One his legs, torso and on the back of his neck.
"Is he hurting himself?" Treize asked.
"If he was how would give you identical marks?" Sally asked.
"He was talking about hearing voice." Une said. "Do you think he could suffer from DID or schizophrenia?"
"Maybe I don't know right now. He was doing so well." Treize said. "Hearing voices? Why didn't he tell me he was hearing voices."
"Maybe an underlying metal illness were causing him to starve himself." Sally said.
"We won't know until we talk to him." Treize said. "Let's clean up the mess and then let him sleep."
Duo was looking down at his roommate. Iris stood at the doorway.
"How is he?" She asked coming in slowly.
"Nurse Une said he's heavily sedated and he probably won't wake up until tonight." He said.
"Poor Quatre." She said. "What's wrong with him?"
"I was listening outside the door. They said he's been hearing voices." He said.
"you're kidding. Quatre's hearing voice? That's not possible." She said.
"Quatre's just like me." Iris and Duo thought at the same time.
"Heero coming today?" Iris asked.
"yeah." He said. "Do you think Quatre would mind if I borrowed something from his closet?"
"no." she said. Duo went into the bathroom and iris heard the shower going.
"You'll beat this Quatre." Iris said. "You've got to. I'm not strong enough to. I need you to win and maybe then I'll have a chance. Meiren seemed so strong but she couldn't beat her inner demon but you can Quatre. You've got to Quatre. For your own sake and my own."
There was a knock at the door. Iris turned to see Cathy's brother Trowa at the door.
"Hi Trowa." She said.
"I came to see Quatre and give him this." He said holding a small wrapped box.
"he's sick." She said turning back to Quatre. Trowa came to the bed.
"He looks so small." He said.
"I know." She answered. "Well I'm going to go see if my mom and dad left any messages for me." She then left the room. She knew there were no messages. Her parents didn't care that much.
Trowa leaned over the bed and set the present on the side table. It was an angel snow globe. Quatre was so beautiful and sad looking. And now he looked so small and frail.
"If you can hear me Quatre You have to get better. So I have the chance to fall in love with you." He said as he kissed Quatre's pale hand gently.
END!
Gypsy: Yea!!! Go Gypsy!