Open Hand
"Harry."
The room was empty now, the children having been escorted out by Minerva upon her request.
"Harry."
Curled in the corner, with his knees drawn up to his chest and face hidden against them, Harry didn't move, speak, or did anything to acknowledge the woman.
Mary, sitting a good distance away on the floor, talked.
"My favorite movie growing up as a kid, was Aladdin. I loved that movie, especially when the genie came on screen, and I still believed his introduced song was the best thing ever."
Mary kept talking, and talking until Harry's quiet voice interrupted her.
"I was back there. Back at the graveyard, with him, I could hear his voice, smell the dirt, and everything. I felt the spells a-and Cedric's body was there, but then it wasn't Cedric's, it was Ron. I wasn't in the graveyard, I was in my dorm, and my wand was pointing at—I was there Ms. Evergreen. I was there."
Harry was crying now, tears rolling down his cheeks, hiccupping sobs. Mary moved closer, and closer until she could warp her arms around him. Harry hugged her big, trembling as he held her tight.
She doesn't speak, doesn't tell him everything will be fine, that this won't happen again. That he won't feel all this confusion, fear and everything else again. She doesn't tell him anything of those things, because she can't grantee it.
All she can grantee, is this.
~.~
Not surprising, Harry doesn't want to talk about it, and Mary doesn't push. What is surprising is that Harry wanted to talk about his relatives.
"I'm going to be honest with you Harry," Mary said after Harry told her what he wanted to discuss, "this is a bit surprising."
"Yeah, but I don't want—"
"You want to be distracted," Mary finished for him, sighing a little when she got a nod, "Alright," she then relented, "what do you want to talk about?"
Harry didn't have an answer for that, because honestly, he expected Mary to force the issue. Apparently understanding, the woman got up from her desk.
"Let's go."
"….Where are we going?"
"To the owlery."
When they get there, it's empty, so as Harry is by greeted Hedwig, and the other owls, Mary locked the door, and placed a few spells on it.
"I'm sure your classmates' letters can wait a bit." Mary smiled as she sat down at the small table that was always there, she then motioned Harry to join her.
Harry does, and once seated in the other chair, Hedwig settled down into his lap with a content coo, not at all bothered when another owl settled on the boy's shoulder and nuzzled him. There is silence between the two, Mary content to wait, while Harry merely petted Hedwig.
"Malfoy did something weird yesterday." Harry finally started softly, feeling more calmed and relaxed than before. He was still petting Hedwig, and the other owl had yet to move. In fact, it was currently grooming Harry's hair.
"Oh?"
Harry nodded, "Was on my way to Potions, and we passed each other, he stopped me and asked me if I was okay. Like he really wanted to know"
"And what did you say?"
"I kind of started at him, surprised, even he looked surprised. Eventually I said yes, and headed on to class."
"Well, that was nice." An owl landed on Mary's shoulder, she boop it on the beak with a finger, the owl gave a delighted hoot, and nipped playfully at her finger.
"Yeah it was, and weird. Malfoy is never nice."
"Oh come on, never?" Mary grinned, wiggling her finger away from the owl, "Just because you never seen him to be so, doesn't mean he isn't."
"Well, he's never nice to me."
"Are you nice to him?"
Harry doesn't answer right away, in all honesty, no he isn't. But Malfoy was always the one starting it, ever since they entered Hogwarts, he was just defending himself and his friends.
"Maybe you should try," Mary smiled at the bewildered look her patient gave her, "being nice to Mr. Malfoy, I'm not saying you should be friends with him." The woman giggled at the near horrified look she got, "but try this, next time you see him, just say hello, and keep on going."
"That's it?"
"That's it, and keep saying hello every time you see him."
"…..Why?"
Sure Malfoy was being weird, but that still didn't erase all the other things he did. So why?
Mary shrugged, "Why not? It's not like it'll hurt anyone."
...And, it wouldn't, at best it'll just be confusing, and bizarre.
While Harry thought it over, Mary wondered what will become of this, should Harry decide to open that door. Because honestly, through talking to other students, and Harry' memories, Draco, was a bully. Just like Snape, and Dudley—though her patient's cousin made her concerned for another reason—. But, Malfoy was also a child, a child still learning his place, making discoveries, and decision on his own that aren't influenced by someone else. He was a child she had taken some time to talk to, yes, he was standoffish, but she could still see that something had changed, or was. Whether good, or bad, Mary didn't know.
"I can't promise anything," Harry finally settled on.
"I'm not expecting you to," Mary said pleasantly, giving a huff of laughter when the owl nipped at her ear, "it's just a suggestion, if you don't go through with it, everything will still be the same."
Later in the years, Harry will be asked why he made the decision that he did, and he will answer, "Everything will still be the same." However, now, in the present, Harry felt a stirring in him that he isn't sure what to do with it.
"So," Mary started, changing the subject, and making note of the boy's expression, "tell me about your Aunt."
Resuming his petting of Hedwig, Harry does.
Name: Harry James Potter
Age: 16
Mr. Potter talked to me about his relatives, we spoke of how his realization of his situation with the Dursleys was not in fact normal. During our conversation, it was discovered that Harry had indeed realized that his relationship with his relatives was not normal, though he was not aware that it was an abusive.
(Underneath the transcript is a letter to a division in the Ministry of Magic. Underneath that is a letter to Madame Poppy about the Headmaster, next to that was a transcript with Neville's name. There is also a sticky note with the name Malfoy on it, and a reminder to send a letter off to Mary's brother.)
~.~
Stress, and an ill-timed Exploding Snap game is what set it off, and though he didn't tell her, Mary knew that Snape was the biggest contributor to the stress, as Harry had Defense Against The Dark Arts that day. And while she want nothing more then to toss the man out on his ear—not really, she was angry with the man yes, but she mostly wanted to help him but couldn't—along with that blasted Headmaster, she couldn't, not yet. This situation needed to be handled with kid-gloves, at least for now.
Until then, Mary did her best for Harry.
"Everyone's talking about what happened," Harry started quietly that evening, "most of them think I've lost my mind, gone mental. Even the Professors, though they don't say it."
The Professors part wasn't a surprise, she had gotten a letter for a meeting just a day ago to speak with the staff.
"That's going to be fun"
"Afraid that's usually how it goes when it comes to thing like this." Mary told him, they were doing the puzzle again.
"Ron keeps telling me it's okay, but—"
"That just makes you feel worse, guilty."
Harry nodded, "I could have really hurt him…..Ms. Evergreen, what do I do about that?"
"Handle it the best you can."
Name: Harry James Potter
Age: 16
Today's session Mr. Potter mostly spoke about everyone's reaction towards his Triggered episode, I told my patient that I will have to inform the school staff about his PSTD diagnosis, as well as his abuse as it contribute to his PSTD. Mr. Potter was not happy, but understood, Mr. Potter has also told me that he took my advice about Mr. Malfoy. I have been informed that there were a lot of confusion for those involved. Mr. Potter has also made note that Mr. Malfoy looked not well.
(Underneath the transcript is a letter from Mary's brother, and another transcript with Neville's name on it. There is a note on the desk, stating that Mary has been approached by several other students wanting to talk, there is also a letter from one Nicolas North.)
~.~
"Why do you think Snape is so mean?"
They were playing with Legos today, not designing anything in mind, Harry had been trying to see how many he could stack before they fell over before he was asked the question.
"A lot of reasons I suppose."
"But you know the main reason, don't you?"
Mary looked over at her patient, he wasn't looking at her, focused more on his growing tower.
"And what do you know Mr. Potter?" she asked, taking apart what was supposed to be a dog.
Harry bit his bottom lip.
"Erm, well," the Teenager scratched awkwardly, "something happened last year, and I learned….things."
"And what kind of things are those?" Mary's voice was amused, but open, even if she had an idea of what her patient could be talking about, she had seen his memories after all. And whatever Harry told her next was mostly not the answer she was looking for, it was still information Harry was willing to share.
Harry told her, told her everything.
"And the worst part is, I knew how he felt. How it felt to be humiliated, to be disliked just because you're alive." Harry's voice was cracking, "A-And my d-dad and Sir—"
Harry stopped, though whether because he didn't want to say his godfather's name, or because he couldn't he wasn't sure, and Mary didn't look too deeply into it even if she made a note of it.
Instead, she said nothing, focused on her Legos, leaving Harry to his thoughts, and a moment to breathe.
Name: Harry James Potter
Age: 16
Mr. Potter revealed to me that last year he attend private lessons with Mr. Snape, the lessons in questions was Occlumency, and approved by the Headmaster. This is concerning as Mr. Snape is known to be hostile toward Mr. Potter, and that if done wrong, Occlumency can be very dangerous. He told me of an incident involving Mr. Snape's Pensieve, he saw one of his Professor's memories, and in that memory he expressed a feeling of understanding of his Professor in that incident. Afterwards, his Professor found and escorted him out.
The incident has obviously touched something in Mr. Potter beyond understanding his professor's feelings during the incident. I believe seeing that memory changed Mr. Potter's prospective of Mr. Snape and other adults he knows.
(Underneath the transcript is another transcript of one Neville Longbottom, underneath is a reminder of Mary's meeting with the Professors.)
The afternoon of their next session, Mary is leaning up against a wall next to a closed door, talking quietly. Earlier she had sent away a worried Hermione, and Ron, and a very confused Draco.
"I was wondering," she started, after placing a few privacy spells, "did you ever apologize to Professor Snape, about thePensieve incident?"
There is silence.
"You probably should, though if I were you, I'd wait until I felt I was really genuine about it. Not to mention, he'd probably wouldn't accept it."
When there was more silence, Mary continued.
"I'm going to let you in on something. Professor Snape, is a bully, and obviously abusive. Plain, and simple. However, it didn't start out that way, no one is born a bully, born abusive, or born evil. But life will sometimes hurt you so deeply, break you, that you want to hurt others. Make them see, understand what life had done to you.
I believe that's because they can't put into words that they need someone. Need just one person to say: I see what life has done, I see you, and here's my hand. Does that erase everything he did? No, but maybe, just maybe, saying you're sorry is the start of saying: I see you, and here's my hand."
Mary dug into her pocket, and pulled out a few Jolly Rangers, and them out to the door, "Candy?"
After a long, long moment, the door cracked open, and a hand reached out and took one.
~.~
"Good evening!" Mary greeted happily, her smile growing at the looks she received.
"Good evening Ms. Evergreen," Albus greeted politely as the woman sat down, "now that you have arrived, let us begin. I've called this meeting because of an incident relating to Mr. Potter."
"Oh, you mean when he was Triggered."
"….Triggered?"
Mary nodded, "It's a common occurrence with those who have PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, as it's official called."
There is a silence all around, until tentatively, Sprout asked, "What is that?"
"Depends on what term you want, do you want the official one, or the simple one? Personal, I'd go with simple."
"Perhaps you should start with the official term, Ms. Evergreen." Minerva said.
"Officially, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, is a psychiatric disorder that can occur following the experience or witnessing of a life-threatening events, which we know this school is guilty of a lot of them."
The blanked expressions were not a surprise, "Basically, it means everything that has happened in Harry's life broke his brain."
"So, it's something mental?"
Mary nodded.
"How do you fix it?"
And this is what she was waiting for, and she prepared herself for the reaction she knew what was coming.
"You can't."
"Are you saying Mr. Potter is a lost cause?" This came from Snape, a bit surprising honestly.
Next to Minerva, Hagrid looked like he was about to protest, on Harry's behalf no doubt.
Mary shook her head "I didn't say that, so don't go shipping him off to St. Mungo just yet, I said it can't be fixed. But it can be handled, though patience, understanding, and medicine if needed."
The look of confusion on the Professors does not change, and when Sprout spoke it's with hesitation, as though she didn't like what she was about to say.
"So what your saying is that, Mr. Potter has gone insane?"
Mary groaned, "No. He's sick."
"If he was sick, then there would be a cure." This was from Slughorn
"Just because there is no spell, or potion, doesn't mean there's nothing else you can do."
"But—"
"Perhaps, you misdiagnosed." This came from Albus, and had all turning in his direction.
"Misdiagnosed?" Mary repeated.
Albus nodded.
"Sooo, because I can't fix this with a wave of my wand, you think I misdiagnosed?"
"I'm not insulting your skills Ms. Evergreen, however, from what I can understand. If this cannot be cured, then the only other option is that Mr. Potter is truly a lost cause as Professor Snape said."
"First, he did not say, he asked. Second, I've seen Mr. Potter's case so many times, and in some many ways, there is no possible way I could have misdiagnosis. Third, have you been taught on how the mind works Headmaster?"
"Well no, it's just," Here Albus paused as he choose his words, "I've never heard of something like this before."
"Just because you've never heard about, doesn't mean you haven't seen it before."
In the end, none of the Professor understood, and Mary was left feeling frustrated, she's dealt with this kind of thing before, but it never cease to make her want to tear her hair out and bang her head repeatedly on the stone wall. Entering her office, she found a letter waiting for her.
It a letter from one Nicolas North, stated that he and his associates will be arriving at the school soon.
So if anyone is curious, Harry had a panic attack, and ran into a closet, which will be explained.
Tell me what you think!