Chapter 4 – The World of Well-Liked Madness
"It's so…primitive!" Zia said as she, Zim, GIR & APU wandered through the city, "I love it!"
"I still don't understand what makes this ball of filth so appealing," Zim said, rolling his eyes as the Yelling-Ice-Cream-Man walked by.
Zia laughed, "You were always such a pessimist, Zim. I just think this is quaint. Disgusting, but quaint."
"The man with the cart seems very angry," APU said, pointing at the Ice Cream Man, "Why is he selling his food so violently?"
"Who knows why the Earthlings do anything they do?" Zim said, "I've already given up trying to understand their logic." He glanced over at Zia, but she was gone! He looked around frantically, and spotted her – buying ice cream from the yelling man. He slapped himself in the forehead and hurried to her side. He threw a few dollars at the human and led Zia away. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"Buying sugar stuff!" Zia said and licked her ice cream cone happily.
"I think some of the dye from that wig has seeped into your brain," Zim said.
"Huh?" Zia said, but before Zim could explain about 'blondeness', a familiar voice interrupted them.
"Aw man!!" Dib cried, "What are you doing here?" Dib and Gaz had just turned the corner and come face to face with the pair of Irkens.
"Buying ice cream, Dib-pig," Zim said, "Just like any other Earth- maggot. What are YOU doing here?"
"A new game for the GS2 came out today," Dib said, "But it's not like you care."
"Um…" Zim thought this over, "you're right. I don't care. Come on, Zia." And the pair walked right past Dib and Gaz, followed by APU and GIR.
"What's she doing here, ZIM??" Dib called after them, and they stopped short, "Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Are you gonna mate and overrun the planet with aliens? Huh?"
Zim kept his back turned to Dib for a moment, while he waited for the burning in his cheeks to lessen. Finally, he wheeled around and faced his nemesis, "Don't be vulgar!! Zia and I are simply friends – something you wouldn't know much about, eh, Dib?"
While Dib fumbled for a good comeback, Zim quickly left the area, with the others hurrying after. They walked for a long while in silence, until they returned to the suburbs. When they reached the park, Zia stopped walking. The rest of the group kept going, and had gone another ten feet before noticing she wasn't with them.
"What are you looking at?" Zim asked, coming up along side her.
"I haven't seen this much…natural environment in ages," she said.
"They're just trees," Zim said, "You seen one, you've seen 'em all."
"I like trees!" GIR said, popping up in between them.
Zim and Zia looked down at GIR then up at each other.
* * *
So they spent the afternoon in the park. As the sun was setting, GIR and APU were sitting up in a tree, GIR pretending to be a monkey, an APU scanning around for danger. Zim and Zia were seated at the base of the tree.
"Wow…" Zia said, "Even with all the pollution, the Earth's sunset is still beautiful."
"Eh…It won't last," Zim said, "I give their ozone layer another 10 thousand years – tops."
"Well, with the way you'll run things, it won't last a hundred," Zia said.
Zim grinned, "Ah yes, the day when I conquer Earth shall be a sad day of DOOM for all the sad little Earth monkeys!"
Just then, GIR dropped down on Zim's lap from the tree. "Monkeys!!!" he said happily.
"GIR!" Zim said, "Do you mind??"
"Mind what?" GIR asked, cocking his head.
"Rrrrrgh…never mind!" Zim growled, shoving GIR off of him, "Just go back to the tree."
"Okie dokie!!" GIR said and climbed back up the tree.
Zim sighed and rolled his eyes. Zia laughed. Zim cleared his throat nervously, "So…um…maybe we should head back. It'll get dark soon and then all the crazies come out…"
Zim stood up and started walking off. Zia whistled for the robots, which fell out of the tree obediently and the three of them followed after him.
* * *
As they entered the front yard of Zim's house, the sun had set and the stars were showing through the clouds. The lights were on in the neighbors houses, casting a nice glow on the street below. The gnomes in the yard, turned their heads, identified the 'intruders' quickly and reverted back to normal. And no one really cared.
GIR skipped up the front walk, pulling APU behind him. "Come on! Scary Monkey's gonna start soon!!"
"I swear," Zim muttered as GIR and APU vanished into the house, "That robot will be the end of my sanity!"
Zia laughed, "I think he's cute!" she said, sitting down on the front step.
"That's 'cause you haven't lived with him long enough," Zim said, sitting down next to her, "Just wait. You'll start to crack after a week."
"You mean you want me to stick around?" Zia asked.
Zim gulped and nodded, "Of course I do…seeing you after all these years is kind of like a miracle…and believe me, I haven't had one of those in a long time."
Zia smiled, "I've missed you too, Zim," she said, "I still remember the promise we made to Tallest Blu all those years ago. I think I actually promised it twice." To Zim's confused reaction, she explained about his being born too early and how Blu had told her to look after him.
"I see…" he said when she had finished, "Well, I don't want you thinking you have to protect me – I can take care myself just fine." As she looked hurt, he added, "Not that I don't appreciate the concern…but…I want to be the one doing the protecting from now on…"
"I'd like that," Zia said, putting her hand down over his.
As the two aliens sat staring into each others' eyes, a small, black probe droid clicked softly, and then flew away as quickly as it had come.
* * *
The next few weeks went by quite uneventfully. (There was a lot of madness and evil schemes being thwarted, but basically the girl behind the keyboard wanted to move the main plot along – so here we go!) Then on Monday, Ms. Bitters made an announcement that would rock the whole class. "Children – despite my livid protests, the Skool is wasting what little funding it has left to sponsor a Spring Dance for you all to attend."
The class went wild! There was much shouting for joy and a lot of paper airplanes soared through the air. When they finally settled down again, Ms. Bitters continued. "The Dance will be held on Friday evening and each of you is required to attend, along with the rest of the 5th and 6th grade. There you will be cramped into the gym for hours until you all go hopelessly insane." Most of the class was too excited to pay any attention to her commentary, but she continued anyway, "A partner is not required, but if you should show up alone, the rest of your life will consist of nothing but horrible ridicule from your peers."
Dib gulped nervously, hoping she wasn't serious.
Zim glanced at Zia from across the room, knowing that she was the only one he'd ever want to go with. But there was too much commotion going on for her to catch his gaze. Ms. Bitters had moved on to talking about doom again, but no one really noticed.
Later that afternoon, out on the playground, Dib watched suspiciously as Zim and Zia sat together on a wall at the edge of the grounds. "What're they up to, Gaz? Huh? Huh?" he asked.
"Why do you care?" Gaz replied, not looking up from her GS2, "Shouldn't you be worried about finding a date for that dance?"
"What?" Dib said, turning to look at her, "How do you know about that?"
Gaz shrugged, "Everybody knows. Can I come?
"Huh?" Dib said.
"To the dance," Gaz said.
"Sorry Gaz," Dib said, "It's only for fifth and sixth graders."
"Well, since you won't be able to find a date anyway, you can take me with you," Gaz said.
"What makes you think I can't get a date?" Dib asked, looking indignant.
"Please," Gaz said, finally looking up from her game, "Unless you want to go with her." She pointed across the yard at Gretchen.
Dib followed her fingered, grimaced, then sighed. "Fine. You can come. But I could get a date if I wanted to," he said.
"Yeah. Sure. Whatever," Gaz said, turning back to her game.
Over with the Irkens, Zim was having a difficult time finding the right words to ask Zia out on their first official date. He cleared his throat and tugged on his collar. "Listen, Zia…um…I was thinking…" he started.
"Yes?" Zia asked, already knowing what was coming, but wanting to hear it anyway.
"Uh…this Dance thing…" he continued, "…well…as long as we're being forced to attend…would you…want to…I dunno…be my partner?"
Zia nodded. "I'd love too," she said.
"Whoo…that was easy!" Zim said, hopping off the wall as the bell rang, ending recess, "Now come! We have much to do before this filthy thing!"
"It's so…primitive!" Zia said as she, Zim, GIR & APU wandered through the city, "I love it!"
"I still don't understand what makes this ball of filth so appealing," Zim said, rolling his eyes as the Yelling-Ice-Cream-Man walked by.
Zia laughed, "You were always such a pessimist, Zim. I just think this is quaint. Disgusting, but quaint."
"The man with the cart seems very angry," APU said, pointing at the Ice Cream Man, "Why is he selling his food so violently?"
"Who knows why the Earthlings do anything they do?" Zim said, "I've already given up trying to understand their logic." He glanced over at Zia, but she was gone! He looked around frantically, and spotted her – buying ice cream from the yelling man. He slapped himself in the forehead and hurried to her side. He threw a few dollars at the human and led Zia away. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"Buying sugar stuff!" Zia said and licked her ice cream cone happily.
"I think some of the dye from that wig has seeped into your brain," Zim said.
"Huh?" Zia said, but before Zim could explain about 'blondeness', a familiar voice interrupted them.
"Aw man!!" Dib cried, "What are you doing here?" Dib and Gaz had just turned the corner and come face to face with the pair of Irkens.
"Buying ice cream, Dib-pig," Zim said, "Just like any other Earth- maggot. What are YOU doing here?"
"A new game for the GS2 came out today," Dib said, "But it's not like you care."
"Um…" Zim thought this over, "you're right. I don't care. Come on, Zia." And the pair walked right past Dib and Gaz, followed by APU and GIR.
"What's she doing here, ZIM??" Dib called after them, and they stopped short, "Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Are you gonna mate and overrun the planet with aliens? Huh?"
Zim kept his back turned to Dib for a moment, while he waited for the burning in his cheeks to lessen. Finally, he wheeled around and faced his nemesis, "Don't be vulgar!! Zia and I are simply friends – something you wouldn't know much about, eh, Dib?"
While Dib fumbled for a good comeback, Zim quickly left the area, with the others hurrying after. They walked for a long while in silence, until they returned to the suburbs. When they reached the park, Zia stopped walking. The rest of the group kept going, and had gone another ten feet before noticing she wasn't with them.
"What are you looking at?" Zim asked, coming up along side her.
"I haven't seen this much…natural environment in ages," she said.
"They're just trees," Zim said, "You seen one, you've seen 'em all."
"I like trees!" GIR said, popping up in between them.
Zim and Zia looked down at GIR then up at each other.
* * *
So they spent the afternoon in the park. As the sun was setting, GIR and APU were sitting up in a tree, GIR pretending to be a monkey, an APU scanning around for danger. Zim and Zia were seated at the base of the tree.
"Wow…" Zia said, "Even with all the pollution, the Earth's sunset is still beautiful."
"Eh…It won't last," Zim said, "I give their ozone layer another 10 thousand years – tops."
"Well, with the way you'll run things, it won't last a hundred," Zia said.
Zim grinned, "Ah yes, the day when I conquer Earth shall be a sad day of DOOM for all the sad little Earth monkeys!"
Just then, GIR dropped down on Zim's lap from the tree. "Monkeys!!!" he said happily.
"GIR!" Zim said, "Do you mind??"
"Mind what?" GIR asked, cocking his head.
"Rrrrrgh…never mind!" Zim growled, shoving GIR off of him, "Just go back to the tree."
"Okie dokie!!" GIR said and climbed back up the tree.
Zim sighed and rolled his eyes. Zia laughed. Zim cleared his throat nervously, "So…um…maybe we should head back. It'll get dark soon and then all the crazies come out…"
Zim stood up and started walking off. Zia whistled for the robots, which fell out of the tree obediently and the three of them followed after him.
* * *
As they entered the front yard of Zim's house, the sun had set and the stars were showing through the clouds. The lights were on in the neighbors houses, casting a nice glow on the street below. The gnomes in the yard, turned their heads, identified the 'intruders' quickly and reverted back to normal. And no one really cared.
GIR skipped up the front walk, pulling APU behind him. "Come on! Scary Monkey's gonna start soon!!"
"I swear," Zim muttered as GIR and APU vanished into the house, "That robot will be the end of my sanity!"
Zia laughed, "I think he's cute!" she said, sitting down on the front step.
"That's 'cause you haven't lived with him long enough," Zim said, sitting down next to her, "Just wait. You'll start to crack after a week."
"You mean you want me to stick around?" Zia asked.
Zim gulped and nodded, "Of course I do…seeing you after all these years is kind of like a miracle…and believe me, I haven't had one of those in a long time."
Zia smiled, "I've missed you too, Zim," she said, "I still remember the promise we made to Tallest Blu all those years ago. I think I actually promised it twice." To Zim's confused reaction, she explained about his being born too early and how Blu had told her to look after him.
"I see…" he said when she had finished, "Well, I don't want you thinking you have to protect me – I can take care myself just fine." As she looked hurt, he added, "Not that I don't appreciate the concern…but…I want to be the one doing the protecting from now on…"
"I'd like that," Zia said, putting her hand down over his.
As the two aliens sat staring into each others' eyes, a small, black probe droid clicked softly, and then flew away as quickly as it had come.
* * *
The next few weeks went by quite uneventfully. (There was a lot of madness and evil schemes being thwarted, but basically the girl behind the keyboard wanted to move the main plot along – so here we go!) Then on Monday, Ms. Bitters made an announcement that would rock the whole class. "Children – despite my livid protests, the Skool is wasting what little funding it has left to sponsor a Spring Dance for you all to attend."
The class went wild! There was much shouting for joy and a lot of paper airplanes soared through the air. When they finally settled down again, Ms. Bitters continued. "The Dance will be held on Friday evening and each of you is required to attend, along with the rest of the 5th and 6th grade. There you will be cramped into the gym for hours until you all go hopelessly insane." Most of the class was too excited to pay any attention to her commentary, but she continued anyway, "A partner is not required, but if you should show up alone, the rest of your life will consist of nothing but horrible ridicule from your peers."
Dib gulped nervously, hoping she wasn't serious.
Zim glanced at Zia from across the room, knowing that she was the only one he'd ever want to go with. But there was too much commotion going on for her to catch his gaze. Ms. Bitters had moved on to talking about doom again, but no one really noticed.
Later that afternoon, out on the playground, Dib watched suspiciously as Zim and Zia sat together on a wall at the edge of the grounds. "What're they up to, Gaz? Huh? Huh?" he asked.
"Why do you care?" Gaz replied, not looking up from her GS2, "Shouldn't you be worried about finding a date for that dance?"
"What?" Dib said, turning to look at her, "How do you know about that?"
Gaz shrugged, "Everybody knows. Can I come?
"Huh?" Dib said.
"To the dance," Gaz said.
"Sorry Gaz," Dib said, "It's only for fifth and sixth graders."
"Well, since you won't be able to find a date anyway, you can take me with you," Gaz said.
"What makes you think I can't get a date?" Dib asked, looking indignant.
"Please," Gaz said, finally looking up from her game, "Unless you want to go with her." She pointed across the yard at Gretchen.
Dib followed her fingered, grimaced, then sighed. "Fine. You can come. But I could get a date if I wanted to," he said.
"Yeah. Sure. Whatever," Gaz said, turning back to her game.
Over with the Irkens, Zim was having a difficult time finding the right words to ask Zia out on their first official date. He cleared his throat and tugged on his collar. "Listen, Zia…um…I was thinking…" he started.
"Yes?" Zia asked, already knowing what was coming, but wanting to hear it anyway.
"Uh…this Dance thing…" he continued, "…well…as long as we're being forced to attend…would you…want to…I dunno…be my partner?"
Zia nodded. "I'd love too," she said.
"Whoo…that was easy!" Zim said, hopping off the wall as the bell rang, ending recess, "Now come! We have much to do before this filthy thing!"