A/N: Ok, this is probably one of the weirdest things I've ever written. I
think I was high on PEZ candy – so just bear with me. It'll get better,
trust me. ^_^
Chapter 6 – Alcohol Substitute Makes Irkens Do Funny Things
At the Skool, search lights were panning the sky as the students flocked up the front steps. None of them were expecting anything great, so they were all surprised when the gym looked as nice as it did. Ms. Bitters had been right about using up the last of their funding. But none of the students really cared – they were all happy that it might not be a waste of their time after all.
Dib and Gaz had arrived early, so Dib could attach his spy monitors all over the gym. And it turned out all the decorations proved as useful hiding places.
While her brother had been busy, Gaz had watched the crew of oblivious adults set up the food. When they set down a large bowl of punch, she snickered evilly and pulled a small vile of green liquid out of her pocket. She poured a few drops into the bowl and when the substances met, they sizzled dangerously and melded together nicely. Gaz snickered again and walked off to play her GS2 until the real show started.
Zim and Zia arrived with the rest of the students, though neither of them looked quite as excited. They entered the Gym and Zim immediately scanned the room for Dib. When he didn't find him right away, he told Zia, "I'll go get us some punch," and rushed off to look for him.
Once Zim was gone, a group of girls from their class approached Zia, all looking happy to see her.
Over at the buffet table, Zim found Dib hooking up his final monitor under the table. "Hello, DIB," he said.
"ZIM," Dib replied, straightening up, "I'm surprised you even showed up at all," he said smugly, "You better not try anything funny tonight – I've got cameras hidden all over this place."
"I assure you, stink-creature, I plan to enjoy this horrid get- together just like any other of the dirty-brain-children," Zim said, "I have to say, I'm surprised YOU'RE here. How did you ever find some one to come with? Or did you decide to go stag?"
Before Dib could ask Zim where he'd heard that term, Gaz walked up. "Well aren't you two a cute couple," she said.
"Gaz – don't be disgusting!" Dib cried, and then Zim laughed loudly.
"BWAHAHAHA!!! You brought your little sister along, Dib?" he asked, between fits of laughter, "And just when I thought you couldn't get any more pathetic! HAHAHA!!"
Dib clenched his fists and growled. Gaz took a glass of punch and splashed Zim in the face with it. He glowered at her, and then, by simple instinct, licked a bit of it off of his face. His expression changed. He dipped a finger in the punch bowl and licked it. "Mmm…not bad," he said, then grabbed two cups of it and walked off.
Gaz snickered quietly and Dib gave her a funny look. "What did you put in the punch?" he asked.
"An alcohol substitute from Dad's lab," she said, "This should be interesting."
"Gaz," Dib said, "Did you know that Dad had declared that a failure before we left? It's three times as strong as alcohol – so he figured the public wouldn't like it."
She shrugged, and then walked off, to resume her game.
Dib glanced over at the punch bowl, where a few more kids were helping themselves to glasses. He shook his head and backed away quickly, not wanting to get blamed for anything that might happen.
On the other side of the room, the crowd of girls around Zia looked up and dispersed as Zim emerged from the mass of students. Zia watched them go, disappointed, then brightened when she saw Zim. "Hi!" she said, "You know – the kids around here don't seem to like you at all."
"I've gotten used to it," Zim said, "Besides – Zim needs no one!! Especially not the Earth-slime!!"
"Oh, I dunno," Zia said, "I think everyone needs someone." She caught Zim's eye and he blushed again.
Then, over the chatter of the kids, a microphone squeaked and the kids all turned to see where the sound was coming from. Ms. Bitters was standing on the stage at the end of the gym, looking just as ill-tempered as usual. "Children, I hope you appreciate all this – because you don't deserve it. So go ahead – enjoy yourselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wreak vengeance on the Skool Board." And the stage went dark. When the lights came up again, Ms. Bitters was gone, and a DJ stood in her place.
"HEY, KIDS!!!" he yelled into the microphone (he didn't need to yell, but he did anyway), "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MUSIC????"
The kids all looked at each other. "Um…yeah…" they said together.
"ALLLLLLRRIIIIGHHTTT!!!" the DJ yelled. He flicked a switch on his large and complex sound system and the music started.
* * *
The first hour went smoothly enough, and the teachers/chaperones remained oblivious to the fact that nearly all the kids in the gym were serving themselves punch spiked with a prototype alcohol substitute. But symptoms were starting to show.
Zim downed his fifth glass and exhaled contently, "I have to say, I don't remember the punch tasting this could at Parent-Teacher Night."
Zia took a sip of her third and grinned, "Whatever it is, it's delicious!"
A few kids ran by, yelling happily, and the two aliens watched them, confused. "The humans are acting stranger than normal," Zim observed, "Even for them."
Zia shrugged, "I wonder what's gotten into them." Then she hiccupped.
As they pondered it, the DJ yelled out over the crowd, "OKAYYY!!! LET'S JET BACK IN TIME TO THE 50'S KIDS!!!" The kids all gave each other confused looks. "I CAN TELL YOU'RE ALL EXCITED – SO HERE WE GO!!" He pulled an old record out and placed it on a turn table that had been hidden from sight before. "Born To Hand Jive" started playing and the kids kind of stared at the DJ like he was an idiot.
But something in Zia's brain clicked. This had been the song playing during that movie GIR had had on. The memory of the movie and the alcohol substitute combined in her head resulted in a reaction that was not just a little out of character. She grabbed Zim's hand and pulled him out into the center of the dance floor.
"What're you doing??" Zim asked.
"Dance with me," Zia said quietly, leaning in close to him, still grasping his hand.
Zim looked into her eyes, and the decision was made almost instantly. "Sure," he said, grinning, "Why not?"
So they did, and they rivaled the stars in the movie. The kids around them turned to watch, and soon a wide circle had formed around them. The kids were all impressed, and each was glancing around at the others to make sure they weren't alone.
In the middle of the circle, Zim spun Zia across the floor, then dipped her backwards when they reached they edge of the crowd where Dib was standing, mouth hanging open. Zim grinned at Dib cockily over Zia, and Dib frowned.
Then they spun back out into the center of the circle and here's the part where there should be a very cool, detailed explanation of their dance, but the girl behind the keyboard couldn't think of the right words to put it in, so she gave up and ended the song.
As the final notes played, Zim tossed Zia in the air and caught her with one hand (and a little help from his spider-legs). The music stopped and the kids all cheered, each being a certain degree drunk themselves.
Zim set Zia on the ground and she hugged him and he pumped a fist in the air. The kids cheered again, and through the crowd, Dib just scowled. Beside him, Gaz was laughing hysterically.
Then the lights went up and Ms. Bitters was on stage again. The loud DJ had been banished to the "underground stage". "Children," she said, "We've just received word that someone has spiked the punch and that all of you are positively drunk. Despite how much this amuses me, the Principle has decided that you should all go home before you end up doing something stupid. Your parents have been contacted and are waiting outside to take you home – and they have all been instructed to punish you severely, even though it's not really your fault. And you're all doomed."
The kids groaned and filed out of the building. A lot of angry parents were there, but even their scolding couldn't dampen the kids' high spirits. And some kids whose parents were either to busy or didn't care, got to walk home. Among them were Dib, Gaz, Zim & Zia.
"I can't believe you, Gaz," Dib said as they walked home, "You ruined the whole dance!"
"Are you kidding??" Gaz laughed, "That was priceless!!"
"I'm never taking you anywhere ever again," Dib decided.
"Oh well, it was worth it," Gaz said, "I can't wait 'till I'm in 5th grade."
Dib just rolled his eyes as they turned down their block in the darkness.
Chapter 6 – Alcohol Substitute Makes Irkens Do Funny Things
At the Skool, search lights were panning the sky as the students flocked up the front steps. None of them were expecting anything great, so they were all surprised when the gym looked as nice as it did. Ms. Bitters had been right about using up the last of their funding. But none of the students really cared – they were all happy that it might not be a waste of their time after all.
Dib and Gaz had arrived early, so Dib could attach his spy monitors all over the gym. And it turned out all the decorations proved as useful hiding places.
While her brother had been busy, Gaz had watched the crew of oblivious adults set up the food. When they set down a large bowl of punch, she snickered evilly and pulled a small vile of green liquid out of her pocket. She poured a few drops into the bowl and when the substances met, they sizzled dangerously and melded together nicely. Gaz snickered again and walked off to play her GS2 until the real show started.
Zim and Zia arrived with the rest of the students, though neither of them looked quite as excited. They entered the Gym and Zim immediately scanned the room for Dib. When he didn't find him right away, he told Zia, "I'll go get us some punch," and rushed off to look for him.
Once Zim was gone, a group of girls from their class approached Zia, all looking happy to see her.
Over at the buffet table, Zim found Dib hooking up his final monitor under the table. "Hello, DIB," he said.
"ZIM," Dib replied, straightening up, "I'm surprised you even showed up at all," he said smugly, "You better not try anything funny tonight – I've got cameras hidden all over this place."
"I assure you, stink-creature, I plan to enjoy this horrid get- together just like any other of the dirty-brain-children," Zim said, "I have to say, I'm surprised YOU'RE here. How did you ever find some one to come with? Or did you decide to go stag?"
Before Dib could ask Zim where he'd heard that term, Gaz walked up. "Well aren't you two a cute couple," she said.
"Gaz – don't be disgusting!" Dib cried, and then Zim laughed loudly.
"BWAHAHAHA!!! You brought your little sister along, Dib?" he asked, between fits of laughter, "And just when I thought you couldn't get any more pathetic! HAHAHA!!"
Dib clenched his fists and growled. Gaz took a glass of punch and splashed Zim in the face with it. He glowered at her, and then, by simple instinct, licked a bit of it off of his face. His expression changed. He dipped a finger in the punch bowl and licked it. "Mmm…not bad," he said, then grabbed two cups of it and walked off.
Gaz snickered quietly and Dib gave her a funny look. "What did you put in the punch?" he asked.
"An alcohol substitute from Dad's lab," she said, "This should be interesting."
"Gaz," Dib said, "Did you know that Dad had declared that a failure before we left? It's three times as strong as alcohol – so he figured the public wouldn't like it."
She shrugged, and then walked off, to resume her game.
Dib glanced over at the punch bowl, where a few more kids were helping themselves to glasses. He shook his head and backed away quickly, not wanting to get blamed for anything that might happen.
On the other side of the room, the crowd of girls around Zia looked up and dispersed as Zim emerged from the mass of students. Zia watched them go, disappointed, then brightened when she saw Zim. "Hi!" she said, "You know – the kids around here don't seem to like you at all."
"I've gotten used to it," Zim said, "Besides – Zim needs no one!! Especially not the Earth-slime!!"
"Oh, I dunno," Zia said, "I think everyone needs someone." She caught Zim's eye and he blushed again.
Then, over the chatter of the kids, a microphone squeaked and the kids all turned to see where the sound was coming from. Ms. Bitters was standing on the stage at the end of the gym, looking just as ill-tempered as usual. "Children, I hope you appreciate all this – because you don't deserve it. So go ahead – enjoy yourselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wreak vengeance on the Skool Board." And the stage went dark. When the lights came up again, Ms. Bitters was gone, and a DJ stood in her place.
"HEY, KIDS!!!" he yelled into the microphone (he didn't need to yell, but he did anyway), "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MUSIC????"
The kids all looked at each other. "Um…yeah…" they said together.
"ALLLLLLRRIIIIGHHTTT!!!" the DJ yelled. He flicked a switch on his large and complex sound system and the music started.
* * *
The first hour went smoothly enough, and the teachers/chaperones remained oblivious to the fact that nearly all the kids in the gym were serving themselves punch spiked with a prototype alcohol substitute. But symptoms were starting to show.
Zim downed his fifth glass and exhaled contently, "I have to say, I don't remember the punch tasting this could at Parent-Teacher Night."
Zia took a sip of her third and grinned, "Whatever it is, it's delicious!"
A few kids ran by, yelling happily, and the two aliens watched them, confused. "The humans are acting stranger than normal," Zim observed, "Even for them."
Zia shrugged, "I wonder what's gotten into them." Then she hiccupped.
As they pondered it, the DJ yelled out over the crowd, "OKAYYY!!! LET'S JET BACK IN TIME TO THE 50'S KIDS!!!" The kids all gave each other confused looks. "I CAN TELL YOU'RE ALL EXCITED – SO HERE WE GO!!" He pulled an old record out and placed it on a turn table that had been hidden from sight before. "Born To Hand Jive" started playing and the kids kind of stared at the DJ like he was an idiot.
But something in Zia's brain clicked. This had been the song playing during that movie GIR had had on. The memory of the movie and the alcohol substitute combined in her head resulted in a reaction that was not just a little out of character. She grabbed Zim's hand and pulled him out into the center of the dance floor.
"What're you doing??" Zim asked.
"Dance with me," Zia said quietly, leaning in close to him, still grasping his hand.
Zim looked into her eyes, and the decision was made almost instantly. "Sure," he said, grinning, "Why not?"
So they did, and they rivaled the stars in the movie. The kids around them turned to watch, and soon a wide circle had formed around them. The kids were all impressed, and each was glancing around at the others to make sure they weren't alone.
In the middle of the circle, Zim spun Zia across the floor, then dipped her backwards when they reached they edge of the crowd where Dib was standing, mouth hanging open. Zim grinned at Dib cockily over Zia, and Dib frowned.
Then they spun back out into the center of the circle and here's the part where there should be a very cool, detailed explanation of their dance, but the girl behind the keyboard couldn't think of the right words to put it in, so she gave up and ended the song.
As the final notes played, Zim tossed Zia in the air and caught her with one hand (and a little help from his spider-legs). The music stopped and the kids all cheered, each being a certain degree drunk themselves.
Zim set Zia on the ground and she hugged him and he pumped a fist in the air. The kids cheered again, and through the crowd, Dib just scowled. Beside him, Gaz was laughing hysterically.
Then the lights went up and Ms. Bitters was on stage again. The loud DJ had been banished to the "underground stage". "Children," she said, "We've just received word that someone has spiked the punch and that all of you are positively drunk. Despite how much this amuses me, the Principle has decided that you should all go home before you end up doing something stupid. Your parents have been contacted and are waiting outside to take you home – and they have all been instructed to punish you severely, even though it's not really your fault. And you're all doomed."
The kids groaned and filed out of the building. A lot of angry parents were there, but even their scolding couldn't dampen the kids' high spirits. And some kids whose parents were either to busy or didn't care, got to walk home. Among them were Dib, Gaz, Zim & Zia.
"I can't believe you, Gaz," Dib said as they walked home, "You ruined the whole dance!"
"Are you kidding??" Gaz laughed, "That was priceless!!"
"I'm never taking you anywhere ever again," Dib decided.
"Oh well, it was worth it," Gaz said, "I can't wait 'till I'm in 5th grade."
Dib just rolled his eyes as they turned down their block in the darkness.