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Part Three--Penitence
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"I've got it!"
"You've got it?" Willow asked.
"Yes," Giles said. "I, I do believe I have." He walked down from the stacks to where Willow was sitting, placing an old, leather-bound volume in front of her. "Jack Kinn seems to have been a detective in the late '30s and early '40s. He died untimely."
"Why would Trick want him?" Willow asked. "Does it have something to do with the cross?"
"Most definitely," Giles replied. "It would seem that Mr. Kinn was the um, ah … companion of the slayer of the time. They were quite intimate and it seems they slayed vampires together."
"That's romantic," Willow said. "In a non-romantic, semi-icky way."
"Quite. The slayer it seems was killed and Mr. Kinn was killed shortly afterwards. He may have used the cross to transfer, if you will, his soul or consciousness so that he could live on."
"But why?"
"I don't know," Giles said, frustrated. "But this particular type of vessel can be dangerous. It doesn't just affect the wearer, you see. It can affect others around the wearer, as well."
"And, and since this guy was a er … friend of a slayer …" Willow said. "Oh."
"Exactly," Giles said. He tapped the book in front of Willow determinedly. "We must contact Xander and Buffy immediately."
"I'll call them," said Willow. She went over to the phone behind the library's checkout counter and dialed
Buffy's number. "No answer. I'd better get over there."
"Yes," Giles nodded. "Bring the two of them here and I will continue researching this Mr. Kinn."
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Willow knocked on Buffy's door.
She had rushed over to Buffy's house, worrying the entire way. We've got to get that cross off Xander, she thought, if it's influencing him and he tried anything with Buffy, she's going to kill him.
Willow knocked again. No answer.
Feeling slightly guilty, she tried the door. It was unlocked. "Buffy?" she called out as she walked inside. "It's Willow. Is Xander okay-?" She turned the corner of Buffy's entranceway into the living room and stopped short. "Oh my God," she breathed.
Buffy and Xander were lying on the floor beside an overturned couch. They were asleep, covered in popcorn. Asleep and naked. Asleep and naked and in each other's arms. Their arms and legs were intertwined, with only an old comforter barely covering them.
"Buffy!"
Slowly, Buffy stirred from unconsciousness. "Wha-" She sat up, the blanket falling to her legs. Xander, lying beside her, woke up and pushed himself up on one arm.
"Willow?" Buffy asked. "What's going on?" She looked down at her exposed breasts and up to Willow. She looked down at herself again and then back to Xander.
"Aaahgh!"
Buffy grabbed part of the comforter and quickly covered herself.
Xander looked down at himself and up to Buffy.
"Aaahgh!"
"Wh-wh-what happened?" Willow asked in a small voice.
"I think," Xander began, "Buffy just gave me a happy."
"Oh my God," Buffy groaned. She grabbed the comforter, wrapped it around herself and ran upstairs.
"Willow, I-" Xander started. But Willow was looking at him strangely. "What?"
Willow blushed, but didn't take her eyes off of Xander. "Xand … you're uh, um … having a slight case of, uh … nakedness."
"What?" Xander looked down. His eyes went wide as looked back up at Willow. "Turn around! Turn around! Turn around!"
Willow stifled a giggle and turned around. "We've got to get back to the library," she said. "Giles has found something."
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"… and that is the story," Giles said. "It seems this cross has the ability to affect others, as well."
Buffy hardly heard her Watcher. I had sex with Xander.
She could remember every kiss, every caress. It was passionate in a way she still couldn't believe.
I had sex with Xander.
But it doesn't matter, she told herself, it wasn't me and it wasn't him - it was that damn cross!
Xander sat at the table in the library with his head in his hands. What have I done? he moaned inwardly. It's like I raped her. He stole a quick glance at Buffy. She wouldn't even look at him. Not that I blame her, he thought.
"I've been doing some research," Giles was saying. "And it seems to be a rather simple matter to remove the cross. The Black Chronicles makes reference to a spell which will allow us to easily remove it. I'll need to get a few supplies … say we meet back here in an hour?"
"Fine," Buffy said, standing quickly. "I'm just going … somewhere else." She turned and almost ran from the library.
"Buffy!" Xander stood and ran after her. "Wait!"
Buffy ran out into the hallway but stopped when Xander came flying out after her. "What is it Xander?" she asked, her voice breaking. "I really don't want to talk to you right now."
"I know," he said. "Look, Buff … it wasn't us. I mean, it was us, but it wasn't."
"Does it matter?" Buffy asked, tears in her eyes. "We still did … what we did."
Xander walked up to Buffy and put his hand on her shoulder. "It does matter," he said. He lifted the cross off his chest. "It was this damn thing. Listen Buff, I'm really sorry. My God, I don't blame you if you never want to see me again; I know I wouldn't. All I can say is that you have nothing to be ashamed of."
Buffy could see the pain in Xander's eyes. He really means it, she thought. I can't blame him for something that's not his fault. She reached up and put her palm against Xander's face. "Xander, I-"
Buffy stopped when she noticed Xander's features suddenly contort as if in intense concentration. "Xander?"
Buffy asked. "What's wrong?"
Xander's speech came out in short gasps. "It's happening again," he said. He grabbed the sides of his head with both hands. "Get out of here, Buff!"
Xander could feel whatever it was trying to enter his mind. It's getting stronger, he thought desperately. It's not trying to influence me anymore, it's trying to replace me! I've got to get out of here!
Buffy barged through the doors to the library, causing Willow and Giles to look up in alarm. "Didn't you just run out?" asked Willow.
"It's happening again," Buffy said curtly. "Xander is out in the hallway and it's doing something to him!"
"Oh my," Giles commented. "We must restrain him before he gets out of control."
The three ran back out into the hallway to see Xander on his knees, clutching his head. "No, no, no," he mumbled. "Make it stop!"
Buffy knelt down beside Xander and put her hands on his shoulders. "It's going to be okay," she said. "Try and fight it."
Xander shot out his arm, his elbow crashing into Buffy's face. She smashed head-first into a locker on the far side of the hallway and slumped over, unconscious.
"There's no use fighting," Xander said as he slowly stood up. "Not when it feels sooo good."
Giles stood in the hallway, his hands held out in front of him. "Now, Xander, you must try and control yourself," he said. He took a quick step forward and punched Xander in the face. Xander arched backwards and slammed into the lockers.
"Willow," Giles shouted. "Grab him!"
Willow was standing in the hallway with her mouth open in shock. Giles words seemed to shock her into motion. She ran forward and grabbed Xander's arms. "Just relax," she said to Xander. "Everything is going to be fine."
"Everything is fine," Xander snarled. He threw his arms out, forcing Willow to let go. He spun and punched Willow in the face and she dropped to floor. He used his momentum to spin around 360 degrees and backhand Giles, who was running towards him. Giles flipped over, slamming hard into the floor beside Willow.
Xander ran through the doors into the library. He went straight for the weapons cage. Rummaging around, he pulled out his automatics. Quickly checking to make sure they were loaded, he headed back out into the hallway.
Willow and Giles were still lying on the floor, Willow with her hands over her face. Buffy was picking herself up from being slumped against the lockers. Xander brought his hand down quickly, striking Buffy across the head with his pistol. She fell back to the floor, unconscious again.
"I'm sorry, baby," Xander said. "But this is something I have to do on my own." He ran down the hallway towards the front doors of the school.
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"Drakkus my man," Mr. Trick held his arms open wide, a smile on his face. "It's good to see you again!"
Drakkus ignored Trick's embrace. "Where's Kinn?" he asked.
"We don't know," Trick said, his smile fading. "It's good to see you too. Don't worry, we'll find him soon enough."
"It'll never be soon enough," said Drakkus. He took a quick look around the warehouse they were standing in.
"Nice dump you've got here."
"Well, I ate the maid, so we've been having a problem," Trick responded with a smile. "What took you so long?"
"I stopped for a snack at the bus station," Drakkus responded. "I want Kinn and I want him now."
"You'll get him," Trick said. "We've got people out looking for him right now."
"Good. I've been waiting 50 years for this reunion. I plan to make it a memorable one."
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"Unghh," Buffy mumbled, rubbing her head. "I do not like waking up like this."
"Just take it easy," Giles cautioned her. He came over to her and helped her sit up. "Xander seems to have lost complete control."
"Xander …" Buffy sat up abruptly, the pain in her head forgotten. Xander attacked me, she thought. No, the thing controlling Xander attacked me, she corrected. She pushed herself to her feet. "We've got to find him," she said. "Before he does something that's going to get him killed."
"Or hurt someone else," came a nasal-sounding voice. Willow came up from behind Buffy. Her face was covered in dried blood, which she had obviously and unsuccessfully tried to wash off.
"Willow!" Buffy was shocked. "Was it Xander?"
"Yeah, but I know he didn't mean it," Willow said. "But we can't just let him wander outside like this."
"I know," Buffy said worriedly. "I already had someone I love acting like Mr. Psycho and I'm not going to let it happen again. Not when I can stop it."
"Someone you love?" asked Willow.
"Pardon?"
"You said someone you love," Willow said. "You love Xander?"
"No, I … I don't know …. Listen, I can't deal with that question right now," Buffy said hurriedly. "Right now I just have to find a way to stop him."
Buffy turned and without another word, walked briskly out the doors to the library, passing a very surprised Oz, who was just coming in.
"She is in a hurry," he said. He took one look at Willow and came rushing over. "What happened?"
"It was Xander," Giles said. "He-"
But Oz had already turned and ran for the doors.
"Oz, wait!" Willow called after him. "He's not thinking straight!" She got up to run after Oz.
"Willow, you can't go," Giles said, putting a hand on Willow's arm. "I need you to help me prepare the spell."
"But…"
"No 'buts,' young lady," Giles said. "This is important and your love-life can wait."
Willow sat back down. "Oz," she said sadly.
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Xander was hunting.
What for, he didn't know. Why, he didn't know either.
What he did know was that he had to find someone and find them quickly. He didn't have much time. People were coming for him. They wanted to interrupt the plan. He had to finish what he started before whoever was following him stopped him first.
"Hey!"
Xander spun around, his first arcing in a wide circle. It connected with the person who had come up behind him, sending them spinning to the ground.
"What the Hell!" The person sprang to their feet quickly. "Can't a girl just say hello?"
"Faith," Xander growled. "What are you doing here?"
Faith, the second slayer, rubbed her chin and examined Xander warily. "I'm on patrol," she said. "When did you get macho?"
Xander ignored her comment. "Leave me alone," he said. "I'm busy."
"Busy doing what?"
Xander frowned and ran his hands through his hair. "Faith?" He looked at her strangely. "What are you doing here?"
Faith put her hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" I don't know this guy all that well, she thought, but he looks wacked.
"I'm fine," Xander said abruptly. He seemed more in control suddenly. "I'm just busy, so …" He put his hand over hers to shove it off, but stopped suddenly.
Faith was confused. She had seen Buffy's friend walking through the park and decided to just say hello. But now, she wanted to talk to him. That was strange enough; Faith didn't really like to talk to anyone. What was stranger was that she was starting to feel attracted to Xander.
He's always been cute, she thought to herself. But guys are for using then abusing. She shook her head.
Xander stepped closer to her. "Why are you here?" he asked.
"I don't know," Faith replied. "I, I … guess I came here to see you."
A growl came from the bushes and the two sprang apart. A vampire sprang out from behind some shrubs and ran at Xander. Faith moved to help, but was grabbed from behind and thrown to the ground. Xander reached into his jacket and pulled out his pistols. The vampire swung his leg out and kicked one of the pistols out of Xander's hands. Xander went down on one knee, shoved his pistol into the vampire's stomach and pulled the trigger. The bullet blew out the vampire's back and he slumped to his knees in front of Xander.
Xander placed the pistol under the vampire's chin and pulled the trigger. The vampire, now missing the top of his head, slumped sideways onto the ground.
"Blood-sucking freak," Xander muttered. He ran over to where the second vampire was wrestling with Faith. He grabbed him by the jacket and threw him off of the slayer. The vampire rolled and was up in an instant. Faith jumped up off the ground and stood beside Xander.
"I didn't know you packed," she said over her shoulder. "But I'm kinda glad you do."
Xander didn't have time to say anything as the vampire charged. Xander shot him through the chest, but it didn't even slow him down. The vampire leapt through the air, but was stopped short by a roundhouse kick from Faith. He scurried up from the ground and faced them again.
"Looks like we've got company," Faith said. "And it's not the good kind."
Xander took a quick look and saw what she meant. He quickly counted at least six vampires running towards them from different locations in the park. They followed the noise of the shots, he thought to himself, I've got to remember that.
"I say we run," Faith said. "Run fast."
"Run if you want to," Xander replied, picking up his second pistol and cautiously eyeing the vampire in front of them. "I'm staying."
Faith gave him a 'you-must-be-crazy' look and then smiled. "What the Hell," she said. "I've always liked a good party."
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Buffy ran down the street, worried.
She was worried about what Xander would do. She was worried about what the guy controlling Xander would do. And she was worried about what she had said in the library to Willow.
I said I loved Xander, she thought incredulously. Do I? Buffy had been through a lot with Xander, not the least of which was his saving her life. A year ago, she would have hotly disputed any attraction to Xander, but now she wasn't so sure. Yes, Xander was handsome, funny, witty, and brave. But Buffy had Angel. Or did she?
Buffy and Angel both knew they couldn't be together; Angel's curse prevented that. She wouldn't go so far as to say she didn't love Angel - she did. But she found herself more and more leaning on Xander for the support she once went to Angel for. Angel was Buffy's fantasy, and she was quickly realizing that grasping a fantasy wasn't always as fun as chasing one.
But Xander wasn't a fantasy. Xander was there for Buffy during the night and during the day. He always had a joke or a smile to make her feel better. She remembered how they had fought over restoring Angel's soul, but she also remembered how he had told her to be careful when she went off to face the vampire.
But how much of what she was feeling was due to the cross? We need to get that thing off of him and then have a long talk, Buffy thought. We have to talk about what happened.
What happened. Buffy smiled and slowed her pace a little. She couldn't say she didn't enjoy what happened. It was strange. She knew she would have never have done 'the deed' with Xander if it hadn't been for the cross.
Never say never.. But Xander was strong and gentle at the same time when they were together. He was funny, tickling her while in the throes of passion, but serious and attentive to her needs. With Angel it was all about passion, she thought. With Xander, passion was a given, but it was more about sharing something more intense.
Buffy shivered. The two of us have to sit down and talk, she thought. Now if only I could find him! She heard gunshots in the distance. That's coming from the park, she realized. And it's gotta be Xander, or whatever Xander is becoming.
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Xander went down on one knee, a vampire flying over top of him. He fired both pistols at the vampire as it passed him and it rolled heavily on the ground, groaning.
Faith spun into a spinning leg sweep as one of the vampires charged her. She quickly sprang up in time to stake another one as it ran at her from the side. The vampire on the ground swung his legs and knocked her legs out from underneath her. She fell heavily to the ground, but rolled instantly, just in time to avoid a follow-up punch by the vampire who had knocked her down.
Xander grunted as a vampire swatted one of the pistols out of his hand. He fired into the face of the vampire who had hit him, but another punched him hard across the face. Xander slumped to the ground, his vision graying.
Faith saw Xander go down and moved to help him. Two vampires grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her to the ground. As she scrambled up, she saw two more vampires drag Xander towards a van parked at an entrance to the park. There's too many of them, she thought desperately. I need some help.
Regaining her feet, Faith stood in a fighting stance. Six vampires surrounded her. She gritted her teeth. Time to get serious.
One of the vampires arched his back and let out a grunt. He quickly exploded into dust. The others turned to face the new threat.
"Faith - you were having a party and didn't invite me," Buffy said. "I'm disappointed."
"Don't worry," said Faith. "There's plenty of fun for the two of us. But we've got to be quick; they're taking Xander out of here by express courier."
"What!?!" Buffy looked to where Faith was pointing. She saw two vampires putting Xander into a dark van. She moved to go after him, but two of the vampires stood in her way.
"Move." Buffy looked at the vampires pointedly. "You can't stop me."
"We don't have to stop you," one of the vampires said. "All we have to do is slow you down."
Buffy whipped out the hand she was holding her stake in. The stake flew through the air and landed in the speaking vampire's chest. Just as he began to turn to dust, she grabbed the stake out of its chest, spun around, and jammed it into the second vampire. He turned to ashes as quickly as the first.
"Amateurs," Buffy said. She ran towards the black van, but saw it screech away from the curb before she could get close enough. "Xander!" she yelled.
Faith came running up beside her. "What happened?" she asked. "The vamps just took off."
"They took Xander," Buffy said, panic in her voice. "We've got to find them. Let's get back to the library; maybe Giles has an idea on how to track these guys."
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Xander was cold.
He had been wandering the streets for what seemed like forever, but he couldn't remember exactly when or where he was. His head ached, and so did his feet. He stumbled forward, somehow sensing that he had to keep moving. He had to find a place to rest that was safe.
Xander stumbled and fell into a puddle filled with snow. Funny, he thought. It almost never snows in Sunnydale. But this didn't look like Sunnydale. It looked like New York. What the Hell am I doing in New York? he asked himself. He picked himself up off the ground and looked out of the mouth of the alley he was in. A small diner stood across the street, the warm glow of its interior lights beckoning him forward. He pulled his coat closer around his neck and stumbled towards the light.
The diner wasn't full. A few truckers, the cook, and two waitresses made up the diner's compliment. Xander took an empty stool at the counter and flagged down the girl behind the counter. "Coffee," he whispered. "Three creams, three sugars."
"I've been waiting for you kid," a voice said behind him. Xander spun around to see a large man in his early '30s take a seat beside him. The man removed his hat, a fedora, and placed it on the counter top.
"You've been waiting for me?" Xander asked. "Who are you?"
"Jack Kinn," the man replied with a small smile. "I figured it's about time we met."
"About time we met!? You're the guy in the cross!"
"I'm the guy in you," Kinn corrected. "Listen, kid … there's not a lot of time to explain what's going on here, but you're going to have to trust me."
"Trust you," Xander repeated. "Why should I trust you? You almost got me killed!"
"See kid," Kinn continued as if he hadn't heard. "There's something I've gotta do - someone I've got to meet and finish things up with. Think of it as cosmic payback, 50 years late, but with interest accrued."
"You're not going to use my body," Xander said firmly. "I'm not some kind of spiritual Holiday Inn."
Kinn sighed and played with his hat. He turned towards Xander seriously. "You can't tell me you don't enjoy the skills, the power," he said. "With me and you together, we can take on that undead bastard and finally get them back for what they did to …"
"To who?"
Kinn seemed to catch himself. "It doesn't matter," he said. "Listen ki-Xander. In this world, you are either the lion or the lamb. The wolf or the cattle. In your case, you are either Kinn or kine."
"I won't do it."
"We'll see," Jack said picking up his hat and placing it smartly on his head. "When you don't have a choice, making a decision comes easy." He gave Xander a little wave and walked out the door of the diner.
"Here's your coffee buddy," the waitress put the coffee in front of Xander. He stared into it's murky depths. It's blackness seemed to hypnotize him, draw him in to it's darkness…
… "Is he awake yet?"
"No."
"Well, wake him up!"
Xander heard the blow coming before he felt it land. There was a 'woosh' of air and then a blinding pain on the side of his face. I must have been dreaming, he thought. He quickly snapped his eyes open.
He was chained by his wrists to the floor in a darkened warehouse. Great, Xander thought. This is exactly how I wanted to spend my evening.
"I see you are awake," Drakkus. "Good. It's so much harder to torture you when you are asleep."
"T-t-t-orture?" Xander squeaked. "Can't we all just get along and let the healing begin?"
Drakkus smiled. "I've been looking for you for years," he said. "I've kiled hundreds, but you were always the one who got away. The only one who was worthy to face me. The only one I am going to enjoy watching beg before he dies."
"What do you want?" Xander asked, trying to stand. Drakkus stepped forward and kicked the young man's legs out from underneath him. "You've got the wrong guy!"
"Your new face can't fool me," Drakkus snarled. "I know who you are. I can see beyond the veil you cower behind. I know your true face."
"What do you want?" Xander asked again.
Drakkus smiled. "I want you to suffer, of course."
Part Four Chapter Four — Unembraceable
Xander screamed.
"Sorry, did that hurt?"
Drakkus pulled his arm back and with a quick motion, slammed his fist across Xander's jaw. He followed up quickly with a hard blow to the stomach that made Xander grunt loudly in pain.
Drakkus laughed. "Good, I'm glad," he hissed.
Xander fought to keep consciousness. The pain was unbearable. Every time he thought he was going to pass out, Drakkus came up with a new torture to focus his attention. I can't take much more of this, Xander thought. And pretty soon he's going to get bored and just kill me.
But torture wasn't the worst part. Xander could feel Kinn trying to get into his mind. And it was getting harder and harder to fight him off as the torture continued. At this rate, Xander didn't know how long he was going to remain himself.
Where's a slayer when you need one?
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"Giles!"
"Buffy!" Giles spun around from the book he was skimming through. "Where's Xander?"
"Some vamps grabbed him," Buffy said. She headed toward the cage set along the side of the room. "I was hoping you would have some idea where they've taken him. Timeliness is of the essence here."
"Um, yes, right," Giles looked up as Faith rushed into the library and headed over towards Buffy. "I think I have an idea —"
"Then let's get over there," Buffy interrupted, grabbing a crossbow from the weapons cage. "Timeliness, remember?"
"B-Buffy, we must not run off wily-nily," Giles said. "We should prepare, make a plan …"
Buffy turned towards Giles and he was shocked to see what looked like tears in her eyes. "We don't have time," she almost yelled at him. "Xander is in danger!"
Willow stood up from her seat at the table. "Buffy's right," she said, her "resolve" face forming. "We have to go save him."
"She's right," came a familiar voice.
Willow looked towards the door and a smile lit her face when she saw Oz. She quickly walked over to him and took his hand. Oz smiled at her.
"Well, I guess that settles it, then," said Giles. "Off we go all wily-nily."
"Come on Giles," Faith smiled and slapped the Watcher on his back, making him wince. "This is going to be fun!"
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Xander hardly groaned at all when the blow cracked his rib. He did cough up a little more blood, however. He could taste its coppery tang on his lips.
This is not fun, he thought. I could be having more fun with this.
The torture wasn't the worst part. Xander's body had become numb from all it had endured and he knew he would probably die soon if help didn't arrive. The problem was that Xander could feel Kinn trying to enter his mind.
Part of him wanted to simply let go and let Kinn take over. After all, with Kinn in control, there was a possibility Xander might make it out of his predicament alive. But another part of him, a stronger part, refused to lose his soul in order to save himself.
"I'm not Angel," Xander laughed weakly. He coughed and spit up some more blood. "I'll never give up that part of myself. Never."
Drakkus paused. "What?"
"Never mind," Xander laughed again. "You wouldn't understand. Feel free to resume the pummeling."
Drakkus frowned. "I grow bored of this Kinn," he growled. "Time, I think, for you to die."
Drakkus reached down and grabbed Xander by the throat, pulling him off the floor. He tilted Xander's head to the side and bared his fangs for the kill.
The door to the warehouse seemed to explode inwards, shards of wood flying in deadly arcs. A figure rushed through the opening, carrying a crossbow.
"Buffy," Xander sighed. "I knew it."
Drakkus growled and dropped Xander to the ground.
Buffy quickly aimed her crossbow at the vampire who had been holding Xander. She let the bolt fly, but the vampire pulled another of its kind in front of him. The impromptu shield had time for one moment of surprise before collapsing into a pile of dust.
"Get her! Kill the slayer," Drakkus shouted.
Vampires seemed to emerge directly from the shadows in numbers Buffy quickly stopped counting. They grouped en masse and began advancing. Before they could move more than a few steps, however, one of them let out a grunt and exploded into a pile of ash. Seconds later, another followed. The vampires looked around in panic — they were used to be the hunters, not the hunted.
"Hey B," came Faith's voice from above. "Save some of them for me!"
"You can have them all," Buffy smiled. "Feel free."
Faith, who was on a catwalk suspended 30 feet above the floor of the warehouse, put her hands on the railing and vaulted into the air. She came down hard, but fortunately, landed on the pile of vampires, scattering them about the room. She got up quickly and joined Buffy, both of the slayers entering a fighting stance.
"Xander?"
Xander looked up to see Willow looking down at him, concern etched on her face. Oz was standing protectively behind her, a sharpened end of a baseball bat in his hand.
"Wil," said Xander from his position on the floor. "What—it's good to see you."
"Oh, Xander …" Willow looked over her friend sadly. Xander was in rough shape. He looked like he had been through the ringer. "Don't worry," she told him. "We'll get you out of here."
Xander smiled wearily and then passed out.
Buffy and Faith were having trouble. There were a lot of vampires in the warehouse. She had yet to see Mr. Trick or Drakkus, but she knew they were out there, waiting for their chance to strike. Buffy knew that when she let her guard down, the two vampires would be all over her.
The problem was that she was having a hard enough time with the vampires she and Faith were fighting now. She knew that given enough time, the two slayers could finish them off, but they had to get Xander out of here quickly and to a hospital. Buffy had only seen a glimpse of him as she came into the warehouse, but what she had seen did not look good. But she pushed her worry for Xander out of her mind and concentrated on the task at hand.
Giles and Willow were half-carrying, half-dragging an unconscious Xander between them out of the warehouse doors. Oz was covering them, a cross and stake at the ready. Buffy cast a quick glance through the doors and saw them loading Xander into Giles' car. Great, she thought, relief washing over her. Xander's safe. Time to kick some ass.
Buffy dropped to the floor of the warehouse, one of her legs swinging out and knocking a vampire off his feet. She got up quickly and saw a vampire punch Faith in the stomach, causing her to bend over. Buffy rolled over Faith's back and laid a roundhouse kick into the face of the vampire that had punched Faith. The creature staggered back, its hands rising to its shattered nose. It had little time for reflection, however, as Faith jammed a stake through its heart, ending its paranatural existence.
"Enough!" Everyone — slayer and vampire — stopped at the sound of the voice. Drakkus strode across the warehouse quickly, shoving his brethren out of his way. "Enough of this nonsense," he growled. "You two children have but one choice — to die quickly or to die slowly."
"You're boring me," came Buffy's sarcastically.
"Yeah, can we just fight now?" Faith's quickly followed.
Drakkus snarled and waved his arms. The other vampires in the room seemed to take it as a queue and rushed the girls. There were a lot of them.
Note to self, thought Buffy as she slipped into a fighting stance. Less sarcasm.
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Xander woke up.
That was surprising in itself. Truthfully, he never expected to. The last thing he remembered was Drakkus beating him senselessly. No, wait — the last thing he remembered was the gang rushing into the warehouse to save him …
"Buffy!"
Xander sat bolt upright in the bed he was lying in. He immediately regretted it. I feel like I've been hit with a ton of bricks, he thought. And not in a good way.
Xander did a quick scan of the room around him. He was in Sunnydale Hospital, that was sure. The room was empty, except for Willow, who, it seemed, he had woken up with his little outburst. His best friend didn't look too good — she looked like she needed the sleep.
"Xander?" she asked groggily. "Thank goodness you're awake. How are you feeling?"
"You don't want to know," he said, groaning. "Believe me. Where's Buffy?"
Willow turned her head away. "The doctors say you've got some broken ribs and you should take it easy," she said, getting up from her chair. "Maybe I should go talk to them …"
Xander reached over and, wincing at the pain, grabbed Willow's arm. "Will, where's Buffy?"
"We don't know."
"What!?!"
"The last we saw of Buffy and Faith, they were fighting vampires and we were dragging you out of the warehouse," Willow explained. "We haven't seen them since. Angel has been looking for them, but they weren't at the warehouse."
Through her explanation, Willow had started to cry. She came over and sat on the side of the bed and hugged Xander. "We don't know where they are or what happened to them," she sobbed. "Xander, I'm scared."
Xander fought conflicting emotions. On the one hand, he wanted to comfort his ailing friend. On the other, he wanted to go find Buffy. Impulsiveness won out over caution. He gently pushed Willow away and started to get out of the bed. He got his feet to the floor, but a wave of dizziness overcame him. Stumbling, he fell to the floor, unconscious.
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Xander sat in the alley, the rain pouring over him, a bullet lodged in his stomach.
He didn't know how he had arrived in the alley, and frankly he didn't care. The white-hot pain in his gut had most of his attention. He put one hand against he alley wall, dragging himself up. About half-way to his feet, his strength gave out and he plunged back to the rain-soaked alley. The pain in his stomach intensified, searing through him.
His vision clouded, but he could hear footsteps coming down the alley towards him. From his low vantage point, he could see a cheap pair of shoes slowly walk in front of his face. There was a pause and a hand reached down to help him up.
Xander reached up and grabbed the hand. It was strong — it pulled him to his feet with little effort. Xander placed his other hand over his bloodied stomach. The hand grasping his let go. It came back a moment later, but this time with a .45 automatic in it. The gat was slapped into Xander's hand with a satisfying sound.
Xander closed his hand around the gun. It felt good.
He looked up and was staring into the face of Jack Kinn.
"I can help, kid," Kinn said. "But there's no going back this time." Kinn stepped back into the shadows, disappearing.
Xander stared at the gun in his hand. The pain in his stomach was gone, but he fell back to the ground anyway, sobbing quietly.
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Xander woke up.
Willow was standing next to his bedside. "How do you feel?" she asked worriedly. "You've been asleep for hours?"
Xander sat up quickly, ignoring the pain that shot through him. "Get my clothes," he said to Willow. "I know what I have to do."
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Buffy was in bad shape.
Faith knew it, but she wasn't in too good of shape herself. She and Buffy were chained to the wall of the mansion. Faith was awake, that she knew, but little else. Buffy was just moaning.
Faith heard noise coming from the other side of the vast main room. She saw Drakkus striding across the room towards the two slayers and prepared herself for more torture.
"Soon," Drakkus said smiling. "It will be soon and then I get to kill you both. Two slayers in one day — that's got to be some kind of record!"
"Why don't you just kill us now?" Buffy asked, surprising Faith. "Why not just get it over with?"
Drakkus smiled again. That terrible smile. "By keeping you here, I draw Kinn," he said. "He will come for you and then I will have him."
"Kinn?"
"The one who hides behind that fool you care so much for," Drakkus snarled. "The one who wears Kinn's essence."
"Xander?" Faith asked. "I think I missed a step here."
"But Xander is in control," Buffy said, ignoring Faith and hoping what she said was true. "Kinn won't come."
Drakkus laughed, a horrible piercing laugh. "But the boy, the shell that Kinn hides behind, he loves you," he laughed. "He will come for you because he cannot stand to imagine that you are suffering. I kill the boy, I kill Kinn."
Buffy hung there in shocked silence. Xander loves me? she thought. I knew he had feelings, but he loves me? It couldn't be true.
"I don't believe you," Buffy said. "Xander cares, but he's not going to get himself killed coming after me."
Faith rolled her eyes and looked over at the other slayer. "Give me a break B," she said. "Of course he loves you. You're the only one who didn't know it."
Drakkus nodded. "It's only a matter of time."
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Giles looked up from his place at the main table in Sunnydale library as Xander strode through the library doors, Willow hovering protectively behind.
"Xander, what are you doing out of bed?" Giles asked. "You should still be in the hospital!"
"I told him that," Willow said. "Does he listen?"
"Really," Giles said hastily. "You should—"
"Save it," Xander said curtly. "Buffy's in trouble and I'm going to help her."
"But Xander," Willow said. "We don't even know where she is!"
"We do now." Everyone spun around to see Angel walking through the library doors.
"Angel," Xander said cautiously.
"Xander," came the response.
"Where is she?"
"I followed some of Trick's goons to the mansion," Angel said. "I'm sure they're being held there."
"Then that's where we need to go." Xander walked into the weapon's cage and opened the box that held Kinn's.45s. "When I grab these," he began. "I won't be myself anymore and I don't think I'm going to be able to come back." He reached for the guns.
"Xander, no!" Willow shouted.
"You can't," Giles added, moving towards the cage. "It's too dangerous."
Xander ignored Giles and turned to Willow. "I love her, Will," he said, his eyes moistening. "I can't just let her die and we need what I can do when I'm him." All of the life seemed to leave him as he stared at the contents of the box. He turned to Angel. "I finally understand you, I think," he said quietly. "You love her so much you were willing to lose your soul. I lover her too, and I'm prepared to give up mine to save her."
Xander looked down at the automatics and took a deep breath.
"Xander," Angel looked directly into his eyes. "Good luck."
Xander grabbed the guns.
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Buffy screamed as Drakkus' claws dug into her shoulders.
"Why don't you pick on someone your own size," Faith yelled out menacingly. "Or are you too scared to face me?"
Drakkus turned to her. "With pleasure," he growled.
"Why don't you pick on someone who can fight back?"
Drakkus spun around at the voice coming from the shadows. "Kinn," he spat. "I knew you'd come. Finally given up hiding behind the boy?"
Buffy looked up and her heart felt like bursting. "Xander," she whispered. But he wasn't. She could see him standing on the other side of the room. It was his eyes. If Xander had ever been in those eyes, he was long gone now. In that moment, that one, brilliant moment, she knew she loved AleXander Lavelle Harris.
It was everything about him. His humour, his courage, and his honour. She knew he would die for her, and in another flash of insight, she realized that in a way, he had.
Drakkus stood and faced the intruder. "Now you die," he said, charging.
Jack Kinn reached underneath his leather duster and whipped out his.45 automatics with a speed that was awe-inspiring.
"Fuck you, bloodsucker."
Kinn fired off two rounds. They struck Drakkus in the leg and shoulder, causing him to spin out of control and hit the floor. Drakkus was up again in an instant and, growling, leapt the rest of the distance to Kinn.
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Giles and Oz ran up to the chained slayers. The other vampires in the mansion were hanging back, seemingly waiting to see how the fight between Kinn and Drakkus was going to end. One of them, seeing the rescue operation in progress ran towards them.
A growling, fully "vamped" Angel got in his way. He threw a strong uppercut, the vampire on the end of it flipping backwards and landing in a heap on the floor.
Angel looked over his shoulder. "Hurry," he said.
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Drakkus slashed his claws across Kinn's chest, drawing blood.
Kinn bashed one of his pistols across Drakkus' face, causing the vampire to bend over in pain. Kinn lashed out with a kick, spinning Drakkus into the air and onto the floor.
Drakkus spun his legs around using his moment to flip onto his feet almost instantly.
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Giles finally managed to free Faith from the chains. She stood up and with a quick pulling motion, made short work of Buffy's shackles. She ran forward to help Angel hold off what was now three vampires trying to stop the rescue.
Buffy stood up and flexed her should, wincing at the pain. "Thanks," she said to Giles and Oz. "But now I've got to help the man I love."
Buffy ran past Angel to where Drakkus and Kinn were battling.
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Kinn threw a kick at Drakkus' head, but in a lightning-quick move, Drakkus grabbed it. Drakkus brought his elbow down on Kinn's knee, and Kinn cried out as both of them heard the bones snap. Drakkus released the leg and Kinn fell on one knee to the floor.
Drakkus reached down and plunged his claws into Kinn's stomach. With a swift motion of his arm, he lifted Kinn into the air. "Your time is up," he growled into Kinn's face. "Now you die for good. Your luck has finally run out."
Kinn lifted his gun and placed it directly under Drakkus' chin. "I think this time, I may have a little luck left," said Kinn. He pulled the trigger.
Click.
Great, Kinn thought. Not again.
Drakkus smiled, but then suddenly grimaced. A small point of wood emerged from where his heart lay in his chest. In an instant, he exploded into dust. Behind what was once Drakkus, Buffy stood, stake in hand.
Kinn fell to the floor. "What do you know," he said softly. He laughed, but stopped as a coughing fit overtook him. He could feel blood on his lips.
Buffy jumped tot he ground beside Kinn. "Xander!" she cried. "You can't die on me! Not when I haven't told you … not when I haven't said …"
Kinn coughed again, spitting more blood onto the floor.
"… that I love you!"
Kinn smiled. Buffy could see his teeth were covered in blood. "That's nice to know," he said. "Maybe you could have told the kid sooner, sweetheart. It looks like we're both done for."
With that, all of Kinn's energy seemed to leave him. He slumped to the floor.
Buffy cradled his head in her arms. "Xander!" She shook him. "Xander!"
The fighting had stopped. The other vampires had been slain or had run when their master had died. The rest of the gang gathered around Buffy. She was cradling Xander's head in her lap, slowly rocking back and forth.
"No," she said quietly. "Please, no."
Part Three--Penitence
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"I've got it!"
"You've got it?" Willow asked.
"Yes," Giles said. "I, I do believe I have." He walked down from the stacks to where Willow was sitting, placing an old, leather-bound volume in front of her. "Jack Kinn seems to have been a detective in the late '30s and early '40s. He died untimely."
"Why would Trick want him?" Willow asked. "Does it have something to do with the cross?"
"Most definitely," Giles replied. "It would seem that Mr. Kinn was the um, ah … companion of the slayer of the time. They were quite intimate and it seems they slayed vampires together."
"That's romantic," Willow said. "In a non-romantic, semi-icky way."
"Quite. The slayer it seems was killed and Mr. Kinn was killed shortly afterwards. He may have used the cross to transfer, if you will, his soul or consciousness so that he could live on."
"But why?"
"I don't know," Giles said, frustrated. "But this particular type of vessel can be dangerous. It doesn't just affect the wearer, you see. It can affect others around the wearer, as well."
"And, and since this guy was a er … friend of a slayer …" Willow said. "Oh."
"Exactly," Giles said. He tapped the book in front of Willow determinedly. "We must contact Xander and Buffy immediately."
"I'll call them," said Willow. She went over to the phone behind the library's checkout counter and dialed
Buffy's number. "No answer. I'd better get over there."
"Yes," Giles nodded. "Bring the two of them here and I will continue researching this Mr. Kinn."
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Willow knocked on Buffy's door.
She had rushed over to Buffy's house, worrying the entire way. We've got to get that cross off Xander, she thought, if it's influencing him and he tried anything with Buffy, she's going to kill him.
Willow knocked again. No answer.
Feeling slightly guilty, she tried the door. It was unlocked. "Buffy?" she called out as she walked inside. "It's Willow. Is Xander okay-?" She turned the corner of Buffy's entranceway into the living room and stopped short. "Oh my God," she breathed.
Buffy and Xander were lying on the floor beside an overturned couch. They were asleep, covered in popcorn. Asleep and naked. Asleep and naked and in each other's arms. Their arms and legs were intertwined, with only an old comforter barely covering them.
"Buffy!"
Slowly, Buffy stirred from unconsciousness. "Wha-" She sat up, the blanket falling to her legs. Xander, lying beside her, woke up and pushed himself up on one arm.
"Willow?" Buffy asked. "What's going on?" She looked down at her exposed breasts and up to Willow. She looked down at herself again and then back to Xander.
"Aaahgh!"
Buffy grabbed part of the comforter and quickly covered herself.
Xander looked down at himself and up to Buffy.
"Aaahgh!"
"Wh-wh-what happened?" Willow asked in a small voice.
"I think," Xander began, "Buffy just gave me a happy."
"Oh my God," Buffy groaned. She grabbed the comforter, wrapped it around herself and ran upstairs.
"Willow, I-" Xander started. But Willow was looking at him strangely. "What?"
Willow blushed, but didn't take her eyes off of Xander. "Xand … you're uh, um … having a slight case of, uh … nakedness."
"What?" Xander looked down. His eyes went wide as looked back up at Willow. "Turn around! Turn around! Turn around!"
Willow stifled a giggle and turned around. "We've got to get back to the library," she said. "Giles has found something."
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"… and that is the story," Giles said. "It seems this cross has the ability to affect others, as well."
Buffy hardly heard her Watcher. I had sex with Xander.
She could remember every kiss, every caress. It was passionate in a way she still couldn't believe.
I had sex with Xander.
But it doesn't matter, she told herself, it wasn't me and it wasn't him - it was that damn cross!
Xander sat at the table in the library with his head in his hands. What have I done? he moaned inwardly. It's like I raped her. He stole a quick glance at Buffy. She wouldn't even look at him. Not that I blame her, he thought.
"I've been doing some research," Giles was saying. "And it seems to be a rather simple matter to remove the cross. The Black Chronicles makes reference to a spell which will allow us to easily remove it. I'll need to get a few supplies … say we meet back here in an hour?"
"Fine," Buffy said, standing quickly. "I'm just going … somewhere else." She turned and almost ran from the library.
"Buffy!" Xander stood and ran after her. "Wait!"
Buffy ran out into the hallway but stopped when Xander came flying out after her. "What is it Xander?" she asked, her voice breaking. "I really don't want to talk to you right now."
"I know," he said. "Look, Buff … it wasn't us. I mean, it was us, but it wasn't."
"Does it matter?" Buffy asked, tears in her eyes. "We still did … what we did."
Xander walked up to Buffy and put his hand on her shoulder. "It does matter," he said. He lifted the cross off his chest. "It was this damn thing. Listen Buff, I'm really sorry. My God, I don't blame you if you never want to see me again; I know I wouldn't. All I can say is that you have nothing to be ashamed of."
Buffy could see the pain in Xander's eyes. He really means it, she thought. I can't blame him for something that's not his fault. She reached up and put her palm against Xander's face. "Xander, I-"
Buffy stopped when she noticed Xander's features suddenly contort as if in intense concentration. "Xander?"
Buffy asked. "What's wrong?"
Xander's speech came out in short gasps. "It's happening again," he said. He grabbed the sides of his head with both hands. "Get out of here, Buff!"
Xander could feel whatever it was trying to enter his mind. It's getting stronger, he thought desperately. It's not trying to influence me anymore, it's trying to replace me! I've got to get out of here!
Buffy barged through the doors to the library, causing Willow and Giles to look up in alarm. "Didn't you just run out?" asked Willow.
"It's happening again," Buffy said curtly. "Xander is out in the hallway and it's doing something to him!"
"Oh my," Giles commented. "We must restrain him before he gets out of control."
The three ran back out into the hallway to see Xander on his knees, clutching his head. "No, no, no," he mumbled. "Make it stop!"
Buffy knelt down beside Xander and put her hands on his shoulders. "It's going to be okay," she said. "Try and fight it."
Xander shot out his arm, his elbow crashing into Buffy's face. She smashed head-first into a locker on the far side of the hallway and slumped over, unconscious.
"There's no use fighting," Xander said as he slowly stood up. "Not when it feels sooo good."
Giles stood in the hallway, his hands held out in front of him. "Now, Xander, you must try and control yourself," he said. He took a quick step forward and punched Xander in the face. Xander arched backwards and slammed into the lockers.
"Willow," Giles shouted. "Grab him!"
Willow was standing in the hallway with her mouth open in shock. Giles words seemed to shock her into motion. She ran forward and grabbed Xander's arms. "Just relax," she said to Xander. "Everything is going to be fine."
"Everything is fine," Xander snarled. He threw his arms out, forcing Willow to let go. He spun and punched Willow in the face and she dropped to floor. He used his momentum to spin around 360 degrees and backhand Giles, who was running towards him. Giles flipped over, slamming hard into the floor beside Willow.
Xander ran through the doors into the library. He went straight for the weapons cage. Rummaging around, he pulled out his automatics. Quickly checking to make sure they were loaded, he headed back out into the hallway.
Willow and Giles were still lying on the floor, Willow with her hands over her face. Buffy was picking herself up from being slumped against the lockers. Xander brought his hand down quickly, striking Buffy across the head with his pistol. She fell back to the floor, unconscious again.
"I'm sorry, baby," Xander said. "But this is something I have to do on my own." He ran down the hallway towards the front doors of the school.
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"Drakkus my man," Mr. Trick held his arms open wide, a smile on his face. "It's good to see you again!"
Drakkus ignored Trick's embrace. "Where's Kinn?" he asked.
"We don't know," Trick said, his smile fading. "It's good to see you too. Don't worry, we'll find him soon enough."
"It'll never be soon enough," said Drakkus. He took a quick look around the warehouse they were standing in.
"Nice dump you've got here."
"Well, I ate the maid, so we've been having a problem," Trick responded with a smile. "What took you so long?"
"I stopped for a snack at the bus station," Drakkus responded. "I want Kinn and I want him now."
"You'll get him," Trick said. "We've got people out looking for him right now."
"Good. I've been waiting 50 years for this reunion. I plan to make it a memorable one."
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"Unghh," Buffy mumbled, rubbing her head. "I do not like waking up like this."
"Just take it easy," Giles cautioned her. He came over to her and helped her sit up. "Xander seems to have lost complete control."
"Xander …" Buffy sat up abruptly, the pain in her head forgotten. Xander attacked me, she thought. No, the thing controlling Xander attacked me, she corrected. She pushed herself to her feet. "We've got to find him," she said. "Before he does something that's going to get him killed."
"Or hurt someone else," came a nasal-sounding voice. Willow came up from behind Buffy. Her face was covered in dried blood, which she had obviously and unsuccessfully tried to wash off.
"Willow!" Buffy was shocked. "Was it Xander?"
"Yeah, but I know he didn't mean it," Willow said. "But we can't just let him wander outside like this."
"I know," Buffy said worriedly. "I already had someone I love acting like Mr. Psycho and I'm not going to let it happen again. Not when I can stop it."
"Someone you love?" asked Willow.
"Pardon?"
"You said someone you love," Willow said. "You love Xander?"
"No, I … I don't know …. Listen, I can't deal with that question right now," Buffy said hurriedly. "Right now I just have to find a way to stop him."
Buffy turned and without another word, walked briskly out the doors to the library, passing a very surprised Oz, who was just coming in.
"She is in a hurry," he said. He took one look at Willow and came rushing over. "What happened?"
"It was Xander," Giles said. "He-"
But Oz had already turned and ran for the doors.
"Oz, wait!" Willow called after him. "He's not thinking straight!" She got up to run after Oz.
"Willow, you can't go," Giles said, putting a hand on Willow's arm. "I need you to help me prepare the spell."
"But…"
"No 'buts,' young lady," Giles said. "This is important and your love-life can wait."
Willow sat back down. "Oz," she said sadly.
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Xander was hunting.
What for, he didn't know. Why, he didn't know either.
What he did know was that he had to find someone and find them quickly. He didn't have much time. People were coming for him. They wanted to interrupt the plan. He had to finish what he started before whoever was following him stopped him first.
"Hey!"
Xander spun around, his first arcing in a wide circle. It connected with the person who had come up behind him, sending them spinning to the ground.
"What the Hell!" The person sprang to their feet quickly. "Can't a girl just say hello?"
"Faith," Xander growled. "What are you doing here?"
Faith, the second slayer, rubbed her chin and examined Xander warily. "I'm on patrol," she said. "When did you get macho?"
Xander ignored her comment. "Leave me alone," he said. "I'm busy."
"Busy doing what?"
Xander frowned and ran his hands through his hair. "Faith?" He looked at her strangely. "What are you doing here?"
Faith put her hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" I don't know this guy all that well, she thought, but he looks wacked.
"I'm fine," Xander said abruptly. He seemed more in control suddenly. "I'm just busy, so …" He put his hand over hers to shove it off, but stopped suddenly.
Faith was confused. She had seen Buffy's friend walking through the park and decided to just say hello. But now, she wanted to talk to him. That was strange enough; Faith didn't really like to talk to anyone. What was stranger was that she was starting to feel attracted to Xander.
He's always been cute, she thought to herself. But guys are for using then abusing. She shook her head.
Xander stepped closer to her. "Why are you here?" he asked.
"I don't know," Faith replied. "I, I … guess I came here to see you."
A growl came from the bushes and the two sprang apart. A vampire sprang out from behind some shrubs and ran at Xander. Faith moved to help, but was grabbed from behind and thrown to the ground. Xander reached into his jacket and pulled out his pistols. The vampire swung his leg out and kicked one of the pistols out of Xander's hands. Xander went down on one knee, shoved his pistol into the vampire's stomach and pulled the trigger. The bullet blew out the vampire's back and he slumped to his knees in front of Xander.
Xander placed the pistol under the vampire's chin and pulled the trigger. The vampire, now missing the top of his head, slumped sideways onto the ground.
"Blood-sucking freak," Xander muttered. He ran over to where the second vampire was wrestling with Faith. He grabbed him by the jacket and threw him off of the slayer. The vampire rolled and was up in an instant. Faith jumped up off the ground and stood beside Xander.
"I didn't know you packed," she said over her shoulder. "But I'm kinda glad you do."
Xander didn't have time to say anything as the vampire charged. Xander shot him through the chest, but it didn't even slow him down. The vampire leapt through the air, but was stopped short by a roundhouse kick from Faith. He scurried up from the ground and faced them again.
"Looks like we've got company," Faith said. "And it's not the good kind."
Xander took a quick look and saw what she meant. He quickly counted at least six vampires running towards them from different locations in the park. They followed the noise of the shots, he thought to himself, I've got to remember that.
"I say we run," Faith said. "Run fast."
"Run if you want to," Xander replied, picking up his second pistol and cautiously eyeing the vampire in front of them. "I'm staying."
Faith gave him a 'you-must-be-crazy' look and then smiled. "What the Hell," she said. "I've always liked a good party."
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Buffy ran down the street, worried.
She was worried about what Xander would do. She was worried about what the guy controlling Xander would do. And she was worried about what she had said in the library to Willow.
I said I loved Xander, she thought incredulously. Do I? Buffy had been through a lot with Xander, not the least of which was his saving her life. A year ago, she would have hotly disputed any attraction to Xander, but now she wasn't so sure. Yes, Xander was handsome, funny, witty, and brave. But Buffy had Angel. Or did she?
Buffy and Angel both knew they couldn't be together; Angel's curse prevented that. She wouldn't go so far as to say she didn't love Angel - she did. But she found herself more and more leaning on Xander for the support she once went to Angel for. Angel was Buffy's fantasy, and she was quickly realizing that grasping a fantasy wasn't always as fun as chasing one.
But Xander wasn't a fantasy. Xander was there for Buffy during the night and during the day. He always had a joke or a smile to make her feel better. She remembered how they had fought over restoring Angel's soul, but she also remembered how he had told her to be careful when she went off to face the vampire.
But how much of what she was feeling was due to the cross? We need to get that thing off of him and then have a long talk, Buffy thought. We have to talk about what happened.
What happened. Buffy smiled and slowed her pace a little. She couldn't say she didn't enjoy what happened. It was strange. She knew she would have never have done 'the deed' with Xander if it hadn't been for the cross.
Never say never.. But Xander was strong and gentle at the same time when they were together. He was funny, tickling her while in the throes of passion, but serious and attentive to her needs. With Angel it was all about passion, she thought. With Xander, passion was a given, but it was more about sharing something more intense.
Buffy shivered. The two of us have to sit down and talk, she thought. Now if only I could find him! She heard gunshots in the distance. That's coming from the park, she realized. And it's gotta be Xander, or whatever Xander is becoming.
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Xander went down on one knee, a vampire flying over top of him. He fired both pistols at the vampire as it passed him and it rolled heavily on the ground, groaning.
Faith spun into a spinning leg sweep as one of the vampires charged her. She quickly sprang up in time to stake another one as it ran at her from the side. The vampire on the ground swung his legs and knocked her legs out from underneath her. She fell heavily to the ground, but rolled instantly, just in time to avoid a follow-up punch by the vampire who had knocked her down.
Xander grunted as a vampire swatted one of the pistols out of his hand. He fired into the face of the vampire who had hit him, but another punched him hard across the face. Xander slumped to the ground, his vision graying.
Faith saw Xander go down and moved to help him. Two vampires grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her to the ground. As she scrambled up, she saw two more vampires drag Xander towards a van parked at an entrance to the park. There's too many of them, she thought desperately. I need some help.
Regaining her feet, Faith stood in a fighting stance. Six vampires surrounded her. She gritted her teeth. Time to get serious.
One of the vampires arched his back and let out a grunt. He quickly exploded into dust. The others turned to face the new threat.
"Faith - you were having a party and didn't invite me," Buffy said. "I'm disappointed."
"Don't worry," said Faith. "There's plenty of fun for the two of us. But we've got to be quick; they're taking Xander out of here by express courier."
"What!?!" Buffy looked to where Faith was pointing. She saw two vampires putting Xander into a dark van. She moved to go after him, but two of the vampires stood in her way.
"Move." Buffy looked at the vampires pointedly. "You can't stop me."
"We don't have to stop you," one of the vampires said. "All we have to do is slow you down."
Buffy whipped out the hand she was holding her stake in. The stake flew through the air and landed in the speaking vampire's chest. Just as he began to turn to dust, she grabbed the stake out of its chest, spun around, and jammed it into the second vampire. He turned to ashes as quickly as the first.
"Amateurs," Buffy said. She ran towards the black van, but saw it screech away from the curb before she could get close enough. "Xander!" she yelled.
Faith came running up beside her. "What happened?" she asked. "The vamps just took off."
"They took Xander," Buffy said, panic in her voice. "We've got to find them. Let's get back to the library; maybe Giles has an idea on how to track these guys."
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Xander was cold.
He had been wandering the streets for what seemed like forever, but he couldn't remember exactly when or where he was. His head ached, and so did his feet. He stumbled forward, somehow sensing that he had to keep moving. He had to find a place to rest that was safe.
Xander stumbled and fell into a puddle filled with snow. Funny, he thought. It almost never snows in Sunnydale. But this didn't look like Sunnydale. It looked like New York. What the Hell am I doing in New York? he asked himself. He picked himself up off the ground and looked out of the mouth of the alley he was in. A small diner stood across the street, the warm glow of its interior lights beckoning him forward. He pulled his coat closer around his neck and stumbled towards the light.
The diner wasn't full. A few truckers, the cook, and two waitresses made up the diner's compliment. Xander took an empty stool at the counter and flagged down the girl behind the counter. "Coffee," he whispered. "Three creams, three sugars."
"I've been waiting for you kid," a voice said behind him. Xander spun around to see a large man in his early '30s take a seat beside him. The man removed his hat, a fedora, and placed it on the counter top.
"You've been waiting for me?" Xander asked. "Who are you?"
"Jack Kinn," the man replied with a small smile. "I figured it's about time we met."
"About time we met!? You're the guy in the cross!"
"I'm the guy in you," Kinn corrected. "Listen, kid … there's not a lot of time to explain what's going on here, but you're going to have to trust me."
"Trust you," Xander repeated. "Why should I trust you? You almost got me killed!"
"See kid," Kinn continued as if he hadn't heard. "There's something I've gotta do - someone I've got to meet and finish things up with. Think of it as cosmic payback, 50 years late, but with interest accrued."
"You're not going to use my body," Xander said firmly. "I'm not some kind of spiritual Holiday Inn."
Kinn sighed and played with his hat. He turned towards Xander seriously. "You can't tell me you don't enjoy the skills, the power," he said. "With me and you together, we can take on that undead bastard and finally get them back for what they did to …"
"To who?"
Kinn seemed to catch himself. "It doesn't matter," he said. "Listen ki-Xander. In this world, you are either the lion or the lamb. The wolf or the cattle. In your case, you are either Kinn or kine."
"I won't do it."
"We'll see," Jack said picking up his hat and placing it smartly on his head. "When you don't have a choice, making a decision comes easy." He gave Xander a little wave and walked out the door of the diner.
"Here's your coffee buddy," the waitress put the coffee in front of Xander. He stared into it's murky depths. It's blackness seemed to hypnotize him, draw him in to it's darkness…
… "Is he awake yet?"
"No."
"Well, wake him up!"
Xander heard the blow coming before he felt it land. There was a 'woosh' of air and then a blinding pain on the side of his face. I must have been dreaming, he thought. He quickly snapped his eyes open.
He was chained by his wrists to the floor in a darkened warehouse. Great, Xander thought. This is exactly how I wanted to spend my evening.
"I see you are awake," Drakkus. "Good. It's so much harder to torture you when you are asleep."
"T-t-t-orture?" Xander squeaked. "Can't we all just get along and let the healing begin?"
Drakkus smiled. "I've been looking for you for years," he said. "I've kiled hundreds, but you were always the one who got away. The only one who was worthy to face me. The only one I am going to enjoy watching beg before he dies."
"What do you want?" Xander asked, trying to stand. Drakkus stepped forward and kicked the young man's legs out from underneath him. "You've got the wrong guy!"
"Your new face can't fool me," Drakkus snarled. "I know who you are. I can see beyond the veil you cower behind. I know your true face."
"What do you want?" Xander asked again.
Drakkus smiled. "I want you to suffer, of course."
Part Four Chapter Four — Unembraceable
Xander screamed.
"Sorry, did that hurt?"
Drakkus pulled his arm back and with a quick motion, slammed his fist across Xander's jaw. He followed up quickly with a hard blow to the stomach that made Xander grunt loudly in pain.
Drakkus laughed. "Good, I'm glad," he hissed.
Xander fought to keep consciousness. The pain was unbearable. Every time he thought he was going to pass out, Drakkus came up with a new torture to focus his attention. I can't take much more of this, Xander thought. And pretty soon he's going to get bored and just kill me.
But torture wasn't the worst part. Xander could feel Kinn trying to get into his mind. And it was getting harder and harder to fight him off as the torture continued. At this rate, Xander didn't know how long he was going to remain himself.
Where's a slayer when you need one?
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"Giles!"
"Buffy!" Giles spun around from the book he was skimming through. "Where's Xander?"
"Some vamps grabbed him," Buffy said. She headed toward the cage set along the side of the room. "I was hoping you would have some idea where they've taken him. Timeliness is of the essence here."
"Um, yes, right," Giles looked up as Faith rushed into the library and headed over towards Buffy. "I think I have an idea —"
"Then let's get over there," Buffy interrupted, grabbing a crossbow from the weapons cage. "Timeliness, remember?"
"B-Buffy, we must not run off wily-nily," Giles said. "We should prepare, make a plan …"
Buffy turned towards Giles and he was shocked to see what looked like tears in her eyes. "We don't have time," she almost yelled at him. "Xander is in danger!"
Willow stood up from her seat at the table. "Buffy's right," she said, her "resolve" face forming. "We have to go save him."
"She's right," came a familiar voice.
Willow looked towards the door and a smile lit her face when she saw Oz. She quickly walked over to him and took his hand. Oz smiled at her.
"Well, I guess that settles it, then," said Giles. "Off we go all wily-nily."
"Come on Giles," Faith smiled and slapped the Watcher on his back, making him wince. "This is going to be fun!"
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Xander hardly groaned at all when the blow cracked his rib. He did cough up a little more blood, however. He could taste its coppery tang on his lips.
This is not fun, he thought. I could be having more fun with this.
The torture wasn't the worst part. Xander's body had become numb from all it had endured and he knew he would probably die soon if help didn't arrive. The problem was that Xander could feel Kinn trying to enter his mind.
Part of him wanted to simply let go and let Kinn take over. After all, with Kinn in control, there was a possibility Xander might make it out of his predicament alive. But another part of him, a stronger part, refused to lose his soul in order to save himself.
"I'm not Angel," Xander laughed weakly. He coughed and spit up some more blood. "I'll never give up that part of myself. Never."
Drakkus paused. "What?"
"Never mind," Xander laughed again. "You wouldn't understand. Feel free to resume the pummeling."
Drakkus frowned. "I grow bored of this Kinn," he growled. "Time, I think, for you to die."
Drakkus reached down and grabbed Xander by the throat, pulling him off the floor. He tilted Xander's head to the side and bared his fangs for the kill.
The door to the warehouse seemed to explode inwards, shards of wood flying in deadly arcs. A figure rushed through the opening, carrying a crossbow.
"Buffy," Xander sighed. "I knew it."
Drakkus growled and dropped Xander to the ground.
Buffy quickly aimed her crossbow at the vampire who had been holding Xander. She let the bolt fly, but the vampire pulled another of its kind in front of him. The impromptu shield had time for one moment of surprise before collapsing into a pile of dust.
"Get her! Kill the slayer," Drakkus shouted.
Vampires seemed to emerge directly from the shadows in numbers Buffy quickly stopped counting. They grouped en masse and began advancing. Before they could move more than a few steps, however, one of them let out a grunt and exploded into a pile of ash. Seconds later, another followed. The vampires looked around in panic — they were used to be the hunters, not the hunted.
"Hey B," came Faith's voice from above. "Save some of them for me!"
"You can have them all," Buffy smiled. "Feel free."
Faith, who was on a catwalk suspended 30 feet above the floor of the warehouse, put her hands on the railing and vaulted into the air. She came down hard, but fortunately, landed on the pile of vampires, scattering them about the room. She got up quickly and joined Buffy, both of the slayers entering a fighting stance.
"Xander?"
Xander looked up to see Willow looking down at him, concern etched on her face. Oz was standing protectively behind her, a sharpened end of a baseball bat in his hand.
"Wil," said Xander from his position on the floor. "What—it's good to see you."
"Oh, Xander …" Willow looked over her friend sadly. Xander was in rough shape. He looked like he had been through the ringer. "Don't worry," she told him. "We'll get you out of here."
Xander smiled wearily and then passed out.
Buffy and Faith were having trouble. There were a lot of vampires in the warehouse. She had yet to see Mr. Trick or Drakkus, but she knew they were out there, waiting for their chance to strike. Buffy knew that when she let her guard down, the two vampires would be all over her.
The problem was that she was having a hard enough time with the vampires she and Faith were fighting now. She knew that given enough time, the two slayers could finish them off, but they had to get Xander out of here quickly and to a hospital. Buffy had only seen a glimpse of him as she came into the warehouse, but what she had seen did not look good. But she pushed her worry for Xander out of her mind and concentrated on the task at hand.
Giles and Willow were half-carrying, half-dragging an unconscious Xander between them out of the warehouse doors. Oz was covering them, a cross and stake at the ready. Buffy cast a quick glance through the doors and saw them loading Xander into Giles' car. Great, she thought, relief washing over her. Xander's safe. Time to kick some ass.
Buffy dropped to the floor of the warehouse, one of her legs swinging out and knocking a vampire off his feet. She got up quickly and saw a vampire punch Faith in the stomach, causing her to bend over. Buffy rolled over Faith's back and laid a roundhouse kick into the face of the vampire that had punched Faith. The creature staggered back, its hands rising to its shattered nose. It had little time for reflection, however, as Faith jammed a stake through its heart, ending its paranatural existence.
"Enough!" Everyone — slayer and vampire — stopped at the sound of the voice. Drakkus strode across the warehouse quickly, shoving his brethren out of his way. "Enough of this nonsense," he growled. "You two children have but one choice — to die quickly or to die slowly."
"You're boring me," came Buffy's sarcastically.
"Yeah, can we just fight now?" Faith's quickly followed.
Drakkus snarled and waved his arms. The other vampires in the room seemed to take it as a queue and rushed the girls. There were a lot of them.
Note to self, thought Buffy as she slipped into a fighting stance. Less sarcasm.
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Xander woke up.
That was surprising in itself. Truthfully, he never expected to. The last thing he remembered was Drakkus beating him senselessly. No, wait — the last thing he remembered was the gang rushing into the warehouse to save him …
"Buffy!"
Xander sat bolt upright in the bed he was lying in. He immediately regretted it. I feel like I've been hit with a ton of bricks, he thought. And not in a good way.
Xander did a quick scan of the room around him. He was in Sunnydale Hospital, that was sure. The room was empty, except for Willow, who, it seemed, he had woken up with his little outburst. His best friend didn't look too good — she looked like she needed the sleep.
"Xander?" she asked groggily. "Thank goodness you're awake. How are you feeling?"
"You don't want to know," he said, groaning. "Believe me. Where's Buffy?"
Willow turned her head away. "The doctors say you've got some broken ribs and you should take it easy," she said, getting up from her chair. "Maybe I should go talk to them …"
Xander reached over and, wincing at the pain, grabbed Willow's arm. "Will, where's Buffy?"
"We don't know."
"What!?!"
"The last we saw of Buffy and Faith, they were fighting vampires and we were dragging you out of the warehouse," Willow explained. "We haven't seen them since. Angel has been looking for them, but they weren't at the warehouse."
Through her explanation, Willow had started to cry. She came over and sat on the side of the bed and hugged Xander. "We don't know where they are or what happened to them," she sobbed. "Xander, I'm scared."
Xander fought conflicting emotions. On the one hand, he wanted to comfort his ailing friend. On the other, he wanted to go find Buffy. Impulsiveness won out over caution. He gently pushed Willow away and started to get out of the bed. He got his feet to the floor, but a wave of dizziness overcame him. Stumbling, he fell to the floor, unconscious.
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Xander sat in the alley, the rain pouring over him, a bullet lodged in his stomach.
He didn't know how he had arrived in the alley, and frankly he didn't care. The white-hot pain in his gut had most of his attention. He put one hand against he alley wall, dragging himself up. About half-way to his feet, his strength gave out and he plunged back to the rain-soaked alley. The pain in his stomach intensified, searing through him.
His vision clouded, but he could hear footsteps coming down the alley towards him. From his low vantage point, he could see a cheap pair of shoes slowly walk in front of his face. There was a pause and a hand reached down to help him up.
Xander reached up and grabbed the hand. It was strong — it pulled him to his feet with little effort. Xander placed his other hand over his bloodied stomach. The hand grasping his let go. It came back a moment later, but this time with a .45 automatic in it. The gat was slapped into Xander's hand with a satisfying sound.
Xander closed his hand around the gun. It felt good.
He looked up and was staring into the face of Jack Kinn.
"I can help, kid," Kinn said. "But there's no going back this time." Kinn stepped back into the shadows, disappearing.
Xander stared at the gun in his hand. The pain in his stomach was gone, but he fell back to the ground anyway, sobbing quietly.
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Xander woke up.
Willow was standing next to his bedside. "How do you feel?" she asked worriedly. "You've been asleep for hours?"
Xander sat up quickly, ignoring the pain that shot through him. "Get my clothes," he said to Willow. "I know what I have to do."
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Buffy was in bad shape.
Faith knew it, but she wasn't in too good of shape herself. She and Buffy were chained to the wall of the mansion. Faith was awake, that she knew, but little else. Buffy was just moaning.
Faith heard noise coming from the other side of the vast main room. She saw Drakkus striding across the room towards the two slayers and prepared herself for more torture.
"Soon," Drakkus said smiling. "It will be soon and then I get to kill you both. Two slayers in one day — that's got to be some kind of record!"
"Why don't you just kill us now?" Buffy asked, surprising Faith. "Why not just get it over with?"
Drakkus smiled again. That terrible smile. "By keeping you here, I draw Kinn," he said. "He will come for you and then I will have him."
"Kinn?"
"The one who hides behind that fool you care so much for," Drakkus snarled. "The one who wears Kinn's essence."
"Xander?" Faith asked. "I think I missed a step here."
"But Xander is in control," Buffy said, ignoring Faith and hoping what she said was true. "Kinn won't come."
Drakkus laughed, a horrible piercing laugh. "But the boy, the shell that Kinn hides behind, he loves you," he laughed. "He will come for you because he cannot stand to imagine that you are suffering. I kill the boy, I kill Kinn."
Buffy hung there in shocked silence. Xander loves me? she thought. I knew he had feelings, but he loves me? It couldn't be true.
"I don't believe you," Buffy said. "Xander cares, but he's not going to get himself killed coming after me."
Faith rolled her eyes and looked over at the other slayer. "Give me a break B," she said. "Of course he loves you. You're the only one who didn't know it."
Drakkus nodded. "It's only a matter of time."
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Giles looked up from his place at the main table in Sunnydale library as Xander strode through the library doors, Willow hovering protectively behind.
"Xander, what are you doing out of bed?" Giles asked. "You should still be in the hospital!"
"I told him that," Willow said. "Does he listen?"
"Really," Giles said hastily. "You should—"
"Save it," Xander said curtly. "Buffy's in trouble and I'm going to help her."
"But Xander," Willow said. "We don't even know where she is!"
"We do now." Everyone spun around to see Angel walking through the library doors.
"Angel," Xander said cautiously.
"Xander," came the response.
"Where is she?"
"I followed some of Trick's goons to the mansion," Angel said. "I'm sure they're being held there."
"Then that's where we need to go." Xander walked into the weapon's cage and opened the box that held Kinn's.45s. "When I grab these," he began. "I won't be myself anymore and I don't think I'm going to be able to come back." He reached for the guns.
"Xander, no!" Willow shouted.
"You can't," Giles added, moving towards the cage. "It's too dangerous."
Xander ignored Giles and turned to Willow. "I love her, Will," he said, his eyes moistening. "I can't just let her die and we need what I can do when I'm him." All of the life seemed to leave him as he stared at the contents of the box. He turned to Angel. "I finally understand you, I think," he said quietly. "You love her so much you were willing to lose your soul. I lover her too, and I'm prepared to give up mine to save her."
Xander looked down at the automatics and took a deep breath.
"Xander," Angel looked directly into his eyes. "Good luck."
Xander grabbed the guns.
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Buffy screamed as Drakkus' claws dug into her shoulders.
"Why don't you pick on someone your own size," Faith yelled out menacingly. "Or are you too scared to face me?"
Drakkus turned to her. "With pleasure," he growled.
"Why don't you pick on someone who can fight back?"
Drakkus spun around at the voice coming from the shadows. "Kinn," he spat. "I knew you'd come. Finally given up hiding behind the boy?"
Buffy looked up and her heart felt like bursting. "Xander," she whispered. But he wasn't. She could see him standing on the other side of the room. It was his eyes. If Xander had ever been in those eyes, he was long gone now. In that moment, that one, brilliant moment, she knew she loved AleXander Lavelle Harris.
It was everything about him. His humour, his courage, and his honour. She knew he would die for her, and in another flash of insight, she realized that in a way, he had.
Drakkus stood and faced the intruder. "Now you die," he said, charging.
Jack Kinn reached underneath his leather duster and whipped out his.45 automatics with a speed that was awe-inspiring.
"Fuck you, bloodsucker."
Kinn fired off two rounds. They struck Drakkus in the leg and shoulder, causing him to spin out of control and hit the floor. Drakkus was up again in an instant and, growling, leapt the rest of the distance to Kinn.
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Giles and Oz ran up to the chained slayers. The other vampires in the mansion were hanging back, seemingly waiting to see how the fight between Kinn and Drakkus was going to end. One of them, seeing the rescue operation in progress ran towards them.
A growling, fully "vamped" Angel got in his way. He threw a strong uppercut, the vampire on the end of it flipping backwards and landing in a heap on the floor.
Angel looked over his shoulder. "Hurry," he said.
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Drakkus slashed his claws across Kinn's chest, drawing blood.
Kinn bashed one of his pistols across Drakkus' face, causing the vampire to bend over in pain. Kinn lashed out with a kick, spinning Drakkus into the air and onto the floor.
Drakkus spun his legs around using his moment to flip onto his feet almost instantly.
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Giles finally managed to free Faith from the chains. She stood up and with a quick pulling motion, made short work of Buffy's shackles. She ran forward to help Angel hold off what was now three vampires trying to stop the rescue.
Buffy stood up and flexed her should, wincing at the pain. "Thanks," she said to Giles and Oz. "But now I've got to help the man I love."
Buffy ran past Angel to where Drakkus and Kinn were battling.
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Kinn threw a kick at Drakkus' head, but in a lightning-quick move, Drakkus grabbed it. Drakkus brought his elbow down on Kinn's knee, and Kinn cried out as both of them heard the bones snap. Drakkus released the leg and Kinn fell on one knee to the floor.
Drakkus reached down and plunged his claws into Kinn's stomach. With a swift motion of his arm, he lifted Kinn into the air. "Your time is up," he growled into Kinn's face. "Now you die for good. Your luck has finally run out."
Kinn lifted his gun and placed it directly under Drakkus' chin. "I think this time, I may have a little luck left," said Kinn. He pulled the trigger.
Click.
Great, Kinn thought. Not again.
Drakkus smiled, but then suddenly grimaced. A small point of wood emerged from where his heart lay in his chest. In an instant, he exploded into dust. Behind what was once Drakkus, Buffy stood, stake in hand.
Kinn fell to the floor. "What do you know," he said softly. He laughed, but stopped as a coughing fit overtook him. He could feel blood on his lips.
Buffy jumped tot he ground beside Kinn. "Xander!" she cried. "You can't die on me! Not when I haven't told you … not when I haven't said …"
Kinn coughed again, spitting more blood onto the floor.
"… that I love you!"
Kinn smiled. Buffy could see his teeth were covered in blood. "That's nice to know," he said. "Maybe you could have told the kid sooner, sweetheart. It looks like we're both done for."
With that, all of Kinn's energy seemed to leave him. He slumped to the floor.
Buffy cradled his head in her arms. "Xander!" She shook him. "Xander!"
The fighting had stopped. The other vampires had been slain or had run when their master had died. The rest of the gang gathered around Buffy. She was cradling Xander's head in her lap, slowly rocking back and forth.
"No," she said quietly. "Please, no."