(Note: This involves the Metatron, Jay and silent Bob, and Rufus. Lord help
all of you that read this sad, sad, sad, dialogue)
Metatron: I'm the Metatron and don't have a clue as to why I am here
Jay: Me and silent Bob are here to sing this fucked up song we just memorized
Rufus: Now how in God's name is a silent man going to sing?
Jay: If you've ever seen the extra's on the Dogma Special edition DVD, which I highly recommend you buy, you'll have seen the fucked up song me and silent Bob sing to our fucked up homies who represented and got fucked up
Metatron: I never knew one could use fuck so many times in one sentence. It is highly disturbing and you'd better stop before I wipe that shit ass smile off your face Jay: All we're trying to do is sing a song and get through this shitty mess someone wrote! How the hell did I even get here?
Silent Bob: *Shrugs shoulders*
Metatron: Do get on with it, I do have stuff to do, I'm ONLY the voice of God!
Jay: Alright, quit your whining; now this piece of shit is a song sung by some Nicole Kidman and Ewan Mcgregor. Nicole Kidman, she's hot, boy I'd like to- Rufus: enough! Just let the music begin and then we can get this over with
*Music starts*
Metatron: Never knew I could feel like this.
Jay: Like I've never seen the sky before. what's this shit? I'm not singing about a fucking sky!
Rufus: Damn it, this is a love song. Why is it a fucking love song? *sings* Want to vanish inside your kiss!
Silent Bob: *Shakes head*
Jay: Come on man, you have to sing. You're leaving me with these fucked up God lovers?
Metatron: Excuse me?! I happen to- Every day I'm loving you more and more- Ah screw it
Rufus: Seasons may change, winter to spring- What the? Who the hell wrote this?
Jay: I love you. I don't love that son of a bitch! I bet if I leave this place I won't have to sing anymore. Ah fuck the singing! Screw it like it aint never been screwed before! *Leaves*
Silent Bob: *Makes an "if only" face and leaves with Jay*
Metatron: Good, now MAYBE we can keep the PG-13 rating on this story!
Rufus: Till the end of time
Metatron: Bloody hell, why do I have to sing? I have a respectable job and a good life, well, as good as any angel's life can get, but I mean come on, I can't even consume Fucking Alcohol nor have the simple pleasures of sex once and awhile! Being an angel really does blow! There's another thing I can't have!
Rufus: Let's just finish the song before the end of the world or some shit happens that will have us singing this song for all of eternity. Now THAT would be a hell! Metatron: Amen to that. Oh all right! I'll do it! *Sings flatly* Come what may, Come what may, Come what may, Come what may- Is that good enough for you?
Rufus: Yeah, let's just end it there. I heard The J man has a new Poker table; I want to try it out
Metatron: Are you so dense as to believe the Lord doesn't know what your cards are?
Rufus: Maybe? Maybe not but in the grand-
Metatron: None of your words of wisdom, I don't need anymore pain, I think the song has numbed my emotions
Rufus: Lighten up Metatron! As the good Lord once said-
Metatron: No more Rufus or I will make sure you're singing that song for the rest of eternity, and what is that?
Rufus: What?
Metatron: That rip in the air?
*Reaches in and pulls out girl*
Metatron: And who the hell are you?
Girl: The writer..
Rufus: Look, can you make him shut his big ass mouth?
Girl: No, because that's his character right?
Metatron: The girls got a point Rufus
Rufus: Fine, but can I ask you one thing?
Girl: Sure, anything you want!
Rufus: Remember back in the first episode you wrote? Well, would you really screw Bartleby if he had a dick?
Girl: NO! I told you no! Only if I was getting something from it would I even consider it. Or if I was desperate.
Rufus: So if they, and me, came back in a later episode and he had a dick would chaos ensue?
Girl: Maybe.
Rufus: Just wondering. well you can put her back Metatron!
Metatron: At ease Sparky. Look, if you're available next Tuesday I have a nice little mission you could go on-
Girl: I don't do Holy crusades; they're bad for my social life
Metatron: Very well then
*Throws girl back in void*
Metatron: Such a nice girl. So you were kidding when you said all that stuff right?
Rufus: ..
Metatron: Oh well, make an' interesting episode that's for sure.
Rufus: Let's get out of here
Metatron: Amen to that
Rufus: Stop saying that
Metatron: What?
Rufus: Amen to that!
Metatron: OK, keep your pants on
Rufus: That won't be a problem
Metatron: Ha ha
Metatron: I'm the Metatron and don't have a clue as to why I am here
Jay: Me and silent Bob are here to sing this fucked up song we just memorized
Rufus: Now how in God's name is a silent man going to sing?
Jay: If you've ever seen the extra's on the Dogma Special edition DVD, which I highly recommend you buy, you'll have seen the fucked up song me and silent Bob sing to our fucked up homies who represented and got fucked up
Metatron: I never knew one could use fuck so many times in one sentence. It is highly disturbing and you'd better stop before I wipe that shit ass smile off your face Jay: All we're trying to do is sing a song and get through this shitty mess someone wrote! How the hell did I even get here?
Silent Bob: *Shrugs shoulders*
Metatron: Do get on with it, I do have stuff to do, I'm ONLY the voice of God!
Jay: Alright, quit your whining; now this piece of shit is a song sung by some Nicole Kidman and Ewan Mcgregor. Nicole Kidman, she's hot, boy I'd like to- Rufus: enough! Just let the music begin and then we can get this over with
*Music starts*
Metatron: Never knew I could feel like this.
Jay: Like I've never seen the sky before. what's this shit? I'm not singing about a fucking sky!
Rufus: Damn it, this is a love song. Why is it a fucking love song? *sings* Want to vanish inside your kiss!
Silent Bob: *Shakes head*
Jay: Come on man, you have to sing. You're leaving me with these fucked up God lovers?
Metatron: Excuse me?! I happen to- Every day I'm loving you more and more- Ah screw it
Rufus: Seasons may change, winter to spring- What the? Who the hell wrote this?
Jay: I love you. I don't love that son of a bitch! I bet if I leave this place I won't have to sing anymore. Ah fuck the singing! Screw it like it aint never been screwed before! *Leaves*
Silent Bob: *Makes an "if only" face and leaves with Jay*
Metatron: Good, now MAYBE we can keep the PG-13 rating on this story!
Rufus: Till the end of time
Metatron: Bloody hell, why do I have to sing? I have a respectable job and a good life, well, as good as any angel's life can get, but I mean come on, I can't even consume Fucking Alcohol nor have the simple pleasures of sex once and awhile! Being an angel really does blow! There's another thing I can't have!
Rufus: Let's just finish the song before the end of the world or some shit happens that will have us singing this song for all of eternity. Now THAT would be a hell! Metatron: Amen to that. Oh all right! I'll do it! *Sings flatly* Come what may, Come what may, Come what may, Come what may- Is that good enough for you?
Rufus: Yeah, let's just end it there. I heard The J man has a new Poker table; I want to try it out
Metatron: Are you so dense as to believe the Lord doesn't know what your cards are?
Rufus: Maybe? Maybe not but in the grand-
Metatron: None of your words of wisdom, I don't need anymore pain, I think the song has numbed my emotions
Rufus: Lighten up Metatron! As the good Lord once said-
Metatron: No more Rufus or I will make sure you're singing that song for the rest of eternity, and what is that?
Rufus: What?
Metatron: That rip in the air?
*Reaches in and pulls out girl*
Metatron: And who the hell are you?
Girl: The writer..
Rufus: Look, can you make him shut his big ass mouth?
Girl: No, because that's his character right?
Metatron: The girls got a point Rufus
Rufus: Fine, but can I ask you one thing?
Girl: Sure, anything you want!
Rufus: Remember back in the first episode you wrote? Well, would you really screw Bartleby if he had a dick?
Girl: NO! I told you no! Only if I was getting something from it would I even consider it. Or if I was desperate.
Rufus: So if they, and me, came back in a later episode and he had a dick would chaos ensue?
Girl: Maybe.
Rufus: Just wondering. well you can put her back Metatron!
Metatron: At ease Sparky. Look, if you're available next Tuesday I have a nice little mission you could go on-
Girl: I don't do Holy crusades; they're bad for my social life
Metatron: Very well then
*Throws girl back in void*
Metatron: Such a nice girl. So you were kidding when you said all that stuff right?
Rufus: ..
Metatron: Oh well, make an' interesting episode that's for sure.
Rufus: Let's get out of here
Metatron: Amen to that
Rufus: Stop saying that
Metatron: What?
Rufus: Amen to that!
Metatron: OK, keep your pants on
Rufus: That won't be a problem
Metatron: Ha ha