Chapter 8: The Aftermath.
"Ardeth, no one hated Selim more than you. You can not and must not feel guilty for his death. You did the right thing. Selim was a traitor, he broke the code, he wouldn't have survived much longer anyway."
"But, I could have saved him when he was still with us, before we were betrayed." Ardeth's voice was filled with regret.
"He could not be saved Ardeth," Asim's voice was stern. "Selim was a traitor at heart. There is little we can do to alter the true destiny of a man, especially one as deceitful as he."
A low growl emitted from deep in Ardeth's chest and his eyes turned suddenly malevolent. "I could have done something, just anything. To sit back and think that I did absolutely nothing but thrust my saber towards his heart and watch him die frightens me."
"Ardeth, there was not another thing you could have done. If you had not acted as you did, it is conceivable that both Evelyn and the boy would be dead now. Evelyn is hurt, true, but she is much better off than if you had let him finish his handiwork! You must see this!"
Apparently not swayed by his friend's words Ardeth looked down at his feet, a very uncommon gesture for a man of his stature, eyebrows furrowed. Asim liked seeing him this way, not that he enjoyed Ardeth being upset but just that now he was completely true to himself, not restricted by the tight and unforgiving bonds that he was tied up with as a warrior. However, he was not prepared for what Ardeth did next.
"Asim, I need you to do something for me..."
"Of course Ardeth, anything." The man did outrank him, and he knew his friend could use some consolidation at the moment.
Bad mistake. Ardeth thought. For you will not agree with what I am now requesting. "Asim, I need you to remove my rank and let me go out alone into the desert. I need time to think about what I have done."
"But Ardeth, I cannot do this, you are my superior. If I was to take away your badge, who knows what the Twelve Tribes would think!?"
"That is the point my friend. You see, since you can't officially take it away from me I can come back to my post when I return. The reason I am asking this is because I am afraid of using it while I am gone. I need to be away from everything that I know. Discomfort will take down my barriers and I will truly be able to find the Light." With this Ardeth bowed down before Asim who reluctantly removed the badge clinging to his cloak.
"I hope you know what you are doing my friend. Because it would not suit you well to be undignified."
"I know myself, Asim, I know what needs to be done. This is the only way, have faith in me, trust my judgment."
"I trust you Ardeth, it's your judgment that my mind grows foggy to." Asim lowered his eyes, but patted Ardeth affectionately on his shoulder. "Good luck, and may Allah bring you safely back into our arms."
With this accomplished, Ardeth turned on his heel, taking a large canteen of water and walked off into the desert dawn, not to be seen again for days.
* * *
"Rick? Rick?" Evelyn's eyes fluttered open. Evelyn's first feeling was pain. Her abdomen was painfully tight; her legs felt like they had been pulled in opposite directions, and her face felt like it had been ironed. Her delicate hands flew up to her cheeks and what they found when the fingers flit cautiously over the bruised skin startled her. "Did I fight Rick?"
"No, Evie, no you didn't, you couldn't." His eyes blurred and she became a watery image in front of him. Damn you! He screamed into his conscious. Can't you see she needs you? You have to be the strong one.
"Rick, what do you mean?" her voice was hoarse. Then a devilish grin spread across her face. "When was the last time we had sex?"
That was too much, Rick lost it then and there. "Oh Evie, Evelyn..." His voice trailed off as sobs wracked his body. He forced it out, couldn't hold it back.
"Darling, honey, what is it?" Her fingertips reached his eyes, closing them, brushing the tears aside gently.
He couldn't bring himself to tell her, not now. He simply was not capable of speaking those three words. Those three horrible, ugly, gruesome words. He loved her. She was hurt. She wouldn't believe him. Not now. No, it was too soon. While all these thoughts raced through his head, his brow furrowed. "Rick?" came her pitiful question. He snapped back into it. No. He thought. She has to know. I love her and she has to know what happened. He forced the words to come out. His brain told his mouth to open but it stayed firmly shut. He couldn't do it. He shook his head, cursed silently to himself and then threw it out into the open to let her brain catch it if it pleased. "You were raped."
Then, everything clicked. Evelyn suddenly knew why she was sore. Her jaw slowly lowered, her head spun and she threw up. Rick squeezed her hand as tight as he could so she couldn't leave. He squeezed her while she choked. He squeezed her while she heaved. He squeezed her as she felt herself loosing ground. He squeezed her while she screamed. He squeezed her while she flung herself around his neck and begged him to never let go. He squeezed her as she fell asleep, and finally he loosened his grip.