Disclaimer 2: This is only built for Cuban lynx. Gundam started in 1979; building up its following through reruns and sequels during the '80s. This is a collection of "joke grenades" dealing with characters from the original Mobile Suit Gundam, Zeta, Double Zeta, 0080 War In The Pocket, 0083 Stardust Memories, The 8th Platoon, Char's Counterattack, Victory Gundam, God Gundam, Wing Gundam / Endless Waltz, and finally Turn-A Gundam. But it leans more to the Universal Calendar than one would believe. At any rate: Here's more of the worst, just like the first.
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GUNDAM WORLD TEXT HUMOR MACH IV
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The Black Trinary Doms are zooming towards the White Base for an attack.
Marsh: We are the ultimately superb Black Trinary!
Ortega: Dat's Rite! An' we ain' lettin' dose stinkin' Feddies take
us down wifout a fite!
Gaia: There's the White Base over there! Let's go and... Why are they
having a white flag up?
Bright: (Trying miserably to control Kats, Rets, and Kikka.) Because we're all messed up from having to take care of our own bloody "Triple Terror!"
-=***=-
Mirai and her daughter Cheimin are walking along a wall with lots of names on them (yet again).
Cheimin: Wow! I didn't realize that Char had slept with so many women
during his time.
Mirai: That's not the same wall. This is all the women that had came
onto Victory Gundam's Usso Irving.
Odelo: CURSE YOU, YOU DAMN GIRL-STEALING PUNK!!
Usso: (Doing repairs on his Gundam.) Hey, how was I suppose to know
that I might be related to Char?!
-=***=-
Relena Peacecraft is having another one of those speeches about "peace" with Romefeller Foundation.
Senator 1: Are you out of your natural mind?! You can't just come in
here and parade around with your "peace crafts" in hopes of changing some
views!
Relena: And just what part of peace do you not understand, you ****?!
What do you ****ing want me to ****ing do, parade around ****ing naked?!
You ****ing scenicks!
Senator 2: I'm beginning to agree with her views already.
Senator 3: I think that Haro thingy screwed with her mind too much.
-=***=-
Rezun and Gyunei finds a deeply depressed Char in some dark corner...
Gyunei: CHAR! SIR! What happened to you?!
Char: I... I slept w...
Recoa: (Just walked in.) This poor nut found out that he slept with
some guy dressed as a girl.
Rezun: Naw! Get outta here! Like I'm suppose to believe that! I mean,
we're talking about the same guy who bent Garma over and made him his "he-bitch."
Recoa: "Char makes love to both men and women." He said NOTHING about
guys dressing up as women!
Loran: (Dressed up as Lola Roller.) WELL EXCU~SE ME!!
-=***=-
Fara and Lupe finds Shaqi taking care of the baby Carlman.
Lupe: You know, Gundam Wing nearly had a baby as part of the cast.
Fara: What happened? They found out that Relena wasn't a good foster-mother?
We then cut back to a scene where Treize was taking care of some random baby. The directors of Wing decided that it was not a good idea rating-wise, despite Treize's superb fatherly attributes.
-=***=-
Marsh: WE ARE THE BLACK TRINARIES!! And... HEY!! Where's Ortega and
Gaia?!
Duo: They said they couldn't make it. Flight delays and all that, you
know.
Marsh: But what am I gonna do?! We were suppose to attack Amuro during
the next episode!
Po Eiji: (Coming from out of her shower.) Huh?! Do what? Attack who?
Later on...
Amuro: (In his Gundam, confused.) Uh... Who are you...?
Marsh: (In Dom #1.) I! AM THE BLACK STAR! ^_^;
Dou: (In Dom #2, with a beam scythe.) AND I'M THE STAR OF DEATH!
Po: (In Dom #3, crying with joy[?]) AND I'M THE JADE DRAGON! I can't
believe this is happening! I'm so happy!
Amuro: Sayla, YOU fight them. This is too wack for me.
-=***=-
Gremmy: For the love of Mike! I'm already deep into this rewritten part
of Double Zeta, and now one of my Puru clones is missing! Huh? Puru #16!
Puru: Wrong! I! Am Neo-German Puru!
Gremmy: (Walks away is disgust.) Forget it! You're expendable!
Puru: You're so mean! I was only joking!
Swartz: Are we back to making fun of me, now?
-=***=-
Gateau: FOR THE GLORY OF ZION! WE MUST CONTINUE FIGHTING!!
Fuunsaiki: Yeah! Go Gateau!
Gateau: AAH!! The horse is talking!
Flanders: And he is a great horse to talk with, comrad.
Later on...
Gateau: And the dog was talking as well! With an Eastern European accent!
Augille: Maybe you should change your nickname to "Solomon's Nightmare
Victim."
-=***=-
Bright: (Bringing a suitcase to Sayla.) I told Kai to keep this confidential...
Bright hands her the suitcase (supposedly from her brother Casper). She opens it up... And a pie hits her in the face...
Sayla: (In Gundam; wielding a big, nasty beam fish.) CAPSER!! YOU ARE
GOING TO DIE!!
Char: (In his Gelgoog.) I guess my sister didn't find my joke funny.
-_-;
-=***=-
Aina: Hey! What are you doing with my Zaku-Dom prototype?!
Astonage: Huh? Me and Camille have this great idea. We're going to
combine the parts from Gundam Mark II and the Dom. Then we're going to
use the movable frame.
Much later, as the Titans attack a colony, they suddenly find themselves fighting against AEUG's "Zeta-Dom." (Which is basically a Zeta with the Dom's head, lower legs, and bazooka.)
Jerid: (In his Hizack.) I think I'm gonna be sick!
Layla: (In her Galbaldy Beta.) Yeah! I hope they don't make more Zeta-Doms
in that color scheme either!
-=***=-
Rain: Welcome to "Gundam Talk." I'll now hand you over to our special guests. Take it away!
The scene switches to Frau Beau, Lady Une, and Katejina Ruth as they start talking... In German.
Rain: HEY!! Stop that! I can't understand a word you're saying!
Kai: (Behind the camera.) Well; if you can't understand them, you'll have a full-blown migrain trying to cope with our next guests.
Kai's refering to Pha Yui Li, Po Eiji, and Chen Agi (who are already speaking Cantonese).
-=***=-
Marsh(Dom): WE ARE THE BLACK TRINARIES!! An-
Wufei(Shenlong): I STAND FOR JUSTICE!!
The Black Trinaries (in their Doms), as well as Amuro (in his Gundam), take a moment to look towards Wufei (in his Shenlong Gundam) like it grew an extra head on its shoulders.
Wufei: Uh... Aren't we suppose to fight now?
Matilda: AMURO NO!! (Comes into the scene and whacks Wufei/Shenlong
over his head with her Core Fighter.)
-=***=-
Heero: Gateau thinks he's all that, does he? Well he won't be so high and mighty when I steal his N- His Newe- His Neuter- Hiz Z- Damn!
Gateau: HAHAHAH!! You can't even say the Nu Aziel's name straight! Why would anybody take YOU seriously as a pilot?!
Heero: SHUT UP!! At least I can speak both English and Japanese!
Gateau: Oui, mais un pilote vrai ne se limite pas aux langages qu'il vit autour. (French: Yes, but a true pilot does not limit himself to the languages he lives around.)
Heero: Eat some Mad-Cow meat and die, dammit!
-=***=-
Chen (in the borrowed ReGZ) fires at Quess (Alpha Aziel). She flings Hathaway (Jegan) out of the way before the missile takes the mobile armor and her life.
Hathaway: You! YOU KILLED QUESS! YOU BITCH!!
Chen: You would've had to kill her anyway, you know!
Hathaway: WHAT?! Why would I?!
Chen shows him the scene from the "novel version" where Quess goes totally "Pit-Yorkie" and nearly funeralizes Amuro.
Hathaway finally understands. But later on Chen would end up dying anyway out of the shock of finding out that Amuro's actually gay and was "going steady" with Char for a long while.
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Hey. I feel like some Vandread. Here's something for you.
-=*****=-
Bart: Hey! What's going on?! Where's the music?!
Where's all the peachy-keen opening and ending music at?!
Parfet: (From the engineering room.) Sorry! The Muzak machine's
totally 86'ed and I can't do a thing about it until we get parts!
Bart: Oh crap! Now what are we gonna do?!
Gascogne: You shouldn't worry your pretty little head off, baby.
Jura and Barnette said that they were gonna do something about it...
The PA systems starts cackling and booming...
Barnette: (Over the PA.) Uh... *A-HEM!* Aaaa! AAAA!! Testing! One, two, three, four... What?! We're on?! OOPS!! Okay... (Starts singing some weird background music.)
Jura: (Acting like some wild-out DJ.) IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY HERE ON MTV!! AND IN THE NEXT HOUR WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME VANDREAD!! AN ULTRA-COOL SHOW ABOUT WOMEN, and some guys, FIGHTING AGAINST THE ELEMENTS AND SOME ENTITIES OF THE UNKNOWN!! WITNESS AS THEY CLIMB THEIR NICE, HOT ASSES INTO THEIR BITCHIN', COOL-ASS MECHA OF CHOICE!! SHIVER IN AMAZEMENT AS THEY DEFEAT THEIR ENEMIES IN ONE SINGLE BLOW!!
Barnette starts impersonating the dropping of a bomb and the explosion that happens next.
And as Jura continues with her "commercial," Hibiki holds his head in shame whilst Dita (who's next to him) wonders what's wrong.
Hibiki: The next casting Sunrise holds for any new Gundam series;
I'm definitely going for it!
Dita: That's so cruel, Mr. Alien. Barnette makes such nice
"bomb drops."