I've been feeling bad... I am trying SOOO hard to work on my other fic Destiny and Time 2 that I've compeletly ignored my other project namely this one... actually i've been just plain slacking off... hehe ^^; Anyways, this chapter will go more into character development stuff, relationships between the ever moody Shinji and the Arael. Yui will still play a big part in the chapter since Shinji is still in full defence mode for Yui and Arael IS the angel that broke Asuka, I mean wouldn't YOU be carful around Arael?
Anyways, enough babbling all my notes on this chapter -,- i've spoken too much already... so i'll just get on with the fic, and hopefully it'll be half decent.
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Searching through the Ruins
Chapter 7
"Here we go." It's odd how only one event can make you change the view on someone. I mean, up until this morning, I figured that Arael is somewhat like Rei but with a hint of Asuka in her. After this morning...
"Coming Shinji!"
"..."
Well ok.. MAYBE Arael is just like I thought, with times where Asuka pops up in her. Still, I don't really trust her. It's just too comfortable around her like she is purposly TRYING to make me feel comfortable. It just doesn't make any sense...
"So where are we headed to?"
"We're headed to Okayama Arael, we might be able to stop at Fuchuo if we go off course a bit, so we don't need to worry about that. Plus, I'm SURE we'll have enough water from what I see."
Actually it's quite funny, here we have an messenger of god and how shes turned herself into our water girl.
"Is Okayama like Kure Shinji?"
Yui is still as curious as ever. It's like no matter what happens, it just can't faze her, for long anyways, and she'll always have this innocent attitude about her.
"I THINK it's a bit bigger, I haven't been to there."
"Oh? do you think we can stop at Fuchuo Shinji?"
"I don't think so, all the smaller cities are mostly in rubbles. All the big cities only survived because the taller buildings took all the damage." It's really ironic. The peak of human civilzation, the proud symbol of humanity, was the first to fall. Leaving me and Asuka, probably the most mentally damaged people on the face of the earth.
I sometimes would like to think that we're not like that, but to tell the truth, I don't honestly think that I can say that I'm not scarred from my expriances with Eva, and I can say that is the same with Asuka. Just like the time when we....
"The epic stories of heroic journeys are ALWAYS leave out the boring parts.. why is that."
Yui giggled, "You know stories?"
"Yes, in fact, I know lots of stories. I believe that stories are very important in a li- human's life."
Stories important to human's life? "Why do you say that?"
Arael seems to look at me with a amused expression, like she doesn't believe i would as a question like that.
"I'd would have thought that a warrior that fought for the lives of many would at least realize this."
"What is she talking about Shinji?"
"Nothing Yui." I tried to smile, but Arael seems to like to bring up memories of mine just for the sake of it, "and no, I didn't have anyone to tell me stories."
"It's a shame."
"Why don't YOU tell us some stories!"
"Of course."
*******************************
Stories... I think I like them. Shinji doesn't seem to mind them, but doesn't really care. It's like the story, all the meanings, all the other stuff in the story just doesn't reach him. It doesn't really matter, at least this time I won't be bored to death like the last time we walked from Hiroshima to Kure.
"Tell me another story!"
Arael, at first I thought she would be a nice person to talk to. She doesn't.. err... she says things excatly like they are. But I'm not sure I like the idea of her coming along. Maybe it's because I'm learning that Shinji is hiding things from me now and Arael seems to know alot of them. Or maybe it's because I KNOW shes hiding something from Shinji and she won't tell. I'm positive that Shinji knows this as well. Or at least I hope so...
"I do have a limited amount of stories Yui, I think we should leave the rest for tomorrow, or else I'll run out even before we reach Okayama."
"Awww."
Not that I don't like her company, like I said before, no matter HOW much I like Shinji, he's still too quiet, and kinda boring to be around...
I feel kinda bad just thinking it. I wonder what Shinji thinks of me...
"Shinji.."
"Yes?"
"... umm.. nevermind."
I don't get it, it's so easy to ask questions in my head, but it's so hard to ask them by saying it. It's like we have some weird thing blocking each other out. Then again, I like my privacy.
"Arael, where do all your stories come from?"
"From things I learn, things I read, things I am told."
"Wow, you must have met lots of people to know so much stories right?"
Shinji seems to slow down, like he is interested in the answer as well. I wonder...
"Yes, I've met a share of people"
*******************************
Met a share of people huh?
"Arael.."
Arael looked at me. I wonder if that mind reading trick is like telepathy, talking with the mind.
*Actually it is*
I manage to keep myself from triping from the relevation. After all this time, we could been talking with our minds and speak to save some water!
*Actually 'talking' this way is way more costly than you think Shinji.*
How is it more costly, or is this some theory about the AT fields of Humans.
*No, it's just that the mind will be exhasted if we talk for long like this. But that is only you, I will be perfectly fine even after hours of mind speech.*
I just want to ask one question
*What is that?*
You've taken Human form before... just like Kaworu.
*Yes, i've taken human from just like Tabris.*
Thank you for answering.
*Maybe I'll tell you the story about that sometime*
I'm sure Yui would love to hear it.
I felt my mind jolt. Like I've been hit in the head with a sledge hammer. Marginally less painful then the time the Third angel hit my head with that energy rod of his. But still very VERY painful.
"Shinji? you alright?"
I couldn't help but smile. Yui, no matter what, shes always there to ask after me. Even if I promised to protect her, it's like she is protecting me from everything else other than other people. But then again, I do the same for her too.
"I'm fine."
Arael, she's differnt in that aspect too. She cares, but I have a feeling that she doesn't really know what being a human means. But she's been one of us before. She must know what it means to feel pain, what it means to be uncomfortable. Right?
"You should take a drink, it will help with your headache."
*Don't try to send me mind speech, it'll aggrevate your headache, drink the water, it'll help clear your mind.*
"Thank you." Maybe I am wrong. Maybe Arael knows what all those things are. But why doesn't she act upon them? Or maybe i'm just asking too much questions. I'm going to get a bigger headache than this if I keep thinking...
*******************************
I can't believe I'm so clumsy! Everything was going so well the pass few days we've been walking through the desert... We even found a small lake and took a dip in it! Everything was going just perfectly and now i bet Shinji thinks of me as a burden... I mean how can't he! I spilt my whole cup of water!
"Don't cry.. come on.."
How can he still want me to go along...
"Yui, snap out of it!"
He hates me...
"YUI!"
"wuh- what."
"Why are you crying!"
Crying? What does it mean to cry? Tears? Are these my tears? What are tears?
"I spilt a whole cup of water..."
"We can always get you another!"
I blinked, "But I-"
Shinji cut me off, he has his gleam in his eyes. I felt drawn to it...
"Yui, a person once told me that if you feel bad enough that you would cry about it. You are already forgiven. If you did something really bad and don't cry or feel bad about it, then you can never be forgiven."
"Who said that?"
"My tutor." Shinji had a dark expression on him. Just like the times I asked him of his pass.
Bits and pieces of his past, that's all I really know of Shinji. I know he is doing something right now to prove to someone that he can do it. I know he is a 'third' from Arael, whatever that means. I also know that he wants to protect me because of something that happened to him.
A cup of water appeared in front of me, "Here you can have my cup."
I looked up to see Arael holding her cup towards me. "I- I can't take your water!"
Arael laughed softly, "Like I said, I don't need to eat or drink as much as you two do. Take it."
What can I do? I took the cup and drank it up before I spill it all over the sand.
Arael. She's the one I'm not too curious to know about. All I know is that she is smart, she is friendly, and I trust her After all, she's saved Shinji's life and she tells me stories too. I might have not at the beginning, but I feel that she won't do something bad to us like that weird guy in Kure. I'm positive.
As good as things have gone, theres still something going on between Arael and Shinji. I know there is. It's like this weird feeling I get whenever they look at each other then seem to frown like their thinking really hard. Well at least Shinji is like that.
I hope we get to the new town before Arael runs out of stories. Maybe we'll meet more people and they can tell me stories too!
*******************************
Fire. People tend to give the color red to symbolize fire, but in it's intensity, blue would be more fitting since a when a fire goes to it's hottest, it is more of a blue color. And cold, wouldn't red be a more suit color? Red a harsh color, harsh like a snow storm. While heat is... hot.. it's not harsh. Like the Desert we're walking on. But if we were to walk in the winter snow, I bet Yui and me won't even last as long as Kure. Maybe eyes ARE the window to our souls. Asuka's blue eyes, life giving, soft, yet strong when she wants to be. Rei's red eyes, harsh, cold, but comforting in the middle of madness.
But what does orange mean? Arael's eyes, and hair. I still haven't figured it out. She is smart, but doesn't know a thing, doesn't show her thoughts to others unless you ask. She doesn't really show concern, but she did. She's like a walking contradiction. Yet it all makes sense.
"You like the fire don't you?"
Yui looked at me with a surprised expression, "umm.. err.. I- I guess so."
"Me too."
This time it was Arael that looked at me with a surprised expression while Yui just smiled and seem to understand what I mean.
"Why do you like watching something like a fire?"
"I guess it's... it's like us." Arael looked with utter confusion written all over her face.
"The fire, so free, but in fact, it can't move anywhere except for the wood pieces." Both me and Arael turned and looked at Yui, she is a surprise one after another!
"It flickers constantly trying to improve itself, trying to move away from it's mortality, yet in the end, all it takes is a step, and it's life would be snuffed out. I said that last part. Yui doesn't seem to agree with me as her expression turned from one of understanding to one of disappointment, like she didn't expect me to say something like that.
"So both of you like the fire because it reminds you of yourself?" Arael shook her head, "I can never understand what being a human means at this rate."
Yui giggled, I held back my laughter, but only succeded until Yui burst out laughing fully.
"Arael, not even we understand what it means to be human." I'm quite surprised that Yui doesn't seem at all surprised when I said that. "We're all still learning."
"Or maybe we are not supposed to learn it, just accept it." Arael said softly.
A new thought, maybe we ARE not supposed to learn what being a human is. But then, if there is one thing I learn during the whole third impact, it's that in order to know yourself, you must know others. If to know other means to know what a human is.. but I myself is human so I won't know what...
I'm going to start thinking in circles.
"I'm going to bed, wake me up tomorrow." Yui yawned and head to her tent.
"Arael, have you ever lost something knowing that you can get it back, but at the end, never did get it back?"
Arael sighed, "Of course, I'm an messenger, we don't die naturally."
They are the messengers, they don't die naturally...
Those words, for some reason, I know they are going to be in my head for a long time. I just hope that when I need it, I would remember it....
"Good nite Arael."
"Good night Shinji, may your dreams come and past never haunt."
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Did really turn out as I planned. This chapter didn't concentrate on Shinji and Arael, but more of the whole group. Ah what did I expect... psh, this was bound to happen.
I just realize that writing like this with three people is quite hard. Firstly, I'm only writing from the POV of Shinji and Yui alternating every time I change scene. That makes it hard for me to put Arael in the story too much for them to deal with each other. So in other words, they need to talk more -,- that comes to my second concern which is WHAT THE HELL ARE A GUY A GIRL AND AN ANGEL GOING TO TALK ABOUT!!! Hopefully I'm not going to as much trouble in the next chapter where they meet their next little challenge ^^
I'm not even going to leave a spoiler for the next chapter knowing that i'll probably leave this fic for a while -,- great... now even _I_ am thinking that i won't update enough.... ARGH. I need to write more....
Anyways, enough babbling all my notes on this chapter -,- i've spoken too much already... so i'll just get on with the fic, and hopefully it'll be half decent.
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Searching through the Ruins
Chapter 7
"Here we go." It's odd how only one event can make you change the view on someone. I mean, up until this morning, I figured that Arael is somewhat like Rei but with a hint of Asuka in her. After this morning...
"Coming Shinji!"
"..."
Well ok.. MAYBE Arael is just like I thought, with times where Asuka pops up in her. Still, I don't really trust her. It's just too comfortable around her like she is purposly TRYING to make me feel comfortable. It just doesn't make any sense...
"So where are we headed to?"
"We're headed to Okayama Arael, we might be able to stop at Fuchuo if we go off course a bit, so we don't need to worry about that. Plus, I'm SURE we'll have enough water from what I see."
Actually it's quite funny, here we have an messenger of god and how shes turned herself into our water girl.
"Is Okayama like Kure Shinji?"
Yui is still as curious as ever. It's like no matter what happens, it just can't faze her, for long anyways, and she'll always have this innocent attitude about her.
"I THINK it's a bit bigger, I haven't been to there."
"Oh? do you think we can stop at Fuchuo Shinji?"
"I don't think so, all the smaller cities are mostly in rubbles. All the big cities only survived because the taller buildings took all the damage." It's really ironic. The peak of human civilzation, the proud symbol of humanity, was the first to fall. Leaving me and Asuka, probably the most mentally damaged people on the face of the earth.
I sometimes would like to think that we're not like that, but to tell the truth, I don't honestly think that I can say that I'm not scarred from my expriances with Eva, and I can say that is the same with Asuka. Just like the time when we....
"The epic stories of heroic journeys are ALWAYS leave out the boring parts.. why is that."
Yui giggled, "You know stories?"
"Yes, in fact, I know lots of stories. I believe that stories are very important in a li- human's life."
Stories important to human's life? "Why do you say that?"
Arael seems to look at me with a amused expression, like she doesn't believe i would as a question like that.
"I'd would have thought that a warrior that fought for the lives of many would at least realize this."
"What is she talking about Shinji?"
"Nothing Yui." I tried to smile, but Arael seems to like to bring up memories of mine just for the sake of it, "and no, I didn't have anyone to tell me stories."
"It's a shame."
"Why don't YOU tell us some stories!"
"Of course."
*******************************
Stories... I think I like them. Shinji doesn't seem to mind them, but doesn't really care. It's like the story, all the meanings, all the other stuff in the story just doesn't reach him. It doesn't really matter, at least this time I won't be bored to death like the last time we walked from Hiroshima to Kure.
"Tell me another story!"
Arael, at first I thought she would be a nice person to talk to. She doesn't.. err... she says things excatly like they are. But I'm not sure I like the idea of her coming along. Maybe it's because I'm learning that Shinji is hiding things from me now and Arael seems to know alot of them. Or maybe it's because I KNOW shes hiding something from Shinji and she won't tell. I'm positive that Shinji knows this as well. Or at least I hope so...
"I do have a limited amount of stories Yui, I think we should leave the rest for tomorrow, or else I'll run out even before we reach Okayama."
"Awww."
Not that I don't like her company, like I said before, no matter HOW much I like Shinji, he's still too quiet, and kinda boring to be around...
I feel kinda bad just thinking it. I wonder what Shinji thinks of me...
"Shinji.."
"Yes?"
"... umm.. nevermind."
I don't get it, it's so easy to ask questions in my head, but it's so hard to ask them by saying it. It's like we have some weird thing blocking each other out. Then again, I like my privacy.
"Arael, where do all your stories come from?"
"From things I learn, things I read, things I am told."
"Wow, you must have met lots of people to know so much stories right?"
Shinji seems to slow down, like he is interested in the answer as well. I wonder...
"Yes, I've met a share of people"
*******************************
Met a share of people huh?
"Arael.."
Arael looked at me. I wonder if that mind reading trick is like telepathy, talking with the mind.
*Actually it is*
I manage to keep myself from triping from the relevation. After all this time, we could been talking with our minds and speak to save some water!
*Actually 'talking' this way is way more costly than you think Shinji.*
How is it more costly, or is this some theory about the AT fields of Humans.
*No, it's just that the mind will be exhasted if we talk for long like this. But that is only you, I will be perfectly fine even after hours of mind speech.*
I just want to ask one question
*What is that?*
You've taken Human form before... just like Kaworu.
*Yes, i've taken human from just like Tabris.*
Thank you for answering.
*Maybe I'll tell you the story about that sometime*
I'm sure Yui would love to hear it.
I felt my mind jolt. Like I've been hit in the head with a sledge hammer. Marginally less painful then the time the Third angel hit my head with that energy rod of his. But still very VERY painful.
"Shinji? you alright?"
I couldn't help but smile. Yui, no matter what, shes always there to ask after me. Even if I promised to protect her, it's like she is protecting me from everything else other than other people. But then again, I do the same for her too.
"I'm fine."
Arael, she's differnt in that aspect too. She cares, but I have a feeling that she doesn't really know what being a human means. But she's been one of us before. She must know what it means to feel pain, what it means to be uncomfortable. Right?
"You should take a drink, it will help with your headache."
*Don't try to send me mind speech, it'll aggrevate your headache, drink the water, it'll help clear your mind.*
"Thank you." Maybe I am wrong. Maybe Arael knows what all those things are. But why doesn't she act upon them? Or maybe i'm just asking too much questions. I'm going to get a bigger headache than this if I keep thinking...
*******************************
I can't believe I'm so clumsy! Everything was going so well the pass few days we've been walking through the desert... We even found a small lake and took a dip in it! Everything was going just perfectly and now i bet Shinji thinks of me as a burden... I mean how can't he! I spilt my whole cup of water!
"Don't cry.. come on.."
How can he still want me to go along...
"Yui, snap out of it!"
He hates me...
"YUI!"
"wuh- what."
"Why are you crying!"
Crying? What does it mean to cry? Tears? Are these my tears? What are tears?
"I spilt a whole cup of water..."
"We can always get you another!"
I blinked, "But I-"
Shinji cut me off, he has his gleam in his eyes. I felt drawn to it...
"Yui, a person once told me that if you feel bad enough that you would cry about it. You are already forgiven. If you did something really bad and don't cry or feel bad about it, then you can never be forgiven."
"Who said that?"
"My tutor." Shinji had a dark expression on him. Just like the times I asked him of his pass.
Bits and pieces of his past, that's all I really know of Shinji. I know he is doing something right now to prove to someone that he can do it. I know he is a 'third' from Arael, whatever that means. I also know that he wants to protect me because of something that happened to him.
A cup of water appeared in front of me, "Here you can have my cup."
I looked up to see Arael holding her cup towards me. "I- I can't take your water!"
Arael laughed softly, "Like I said, I don't need to eat or drink as much as you two do. Take it."
What can I do? I took the cup and drank it up before I spill it all over the sand.
Arael. She's the one I'm not too curious to know about. All I know is that she is smart, she is friendly, and I trust her After all, she's saved Shinji's life and she tells me stories too. I might have not at the beginning, but I feel that she won't do something bad to us like that weird guy in Kure. I'm positive.
As good as things have gone, theres still something going on between Arael and Shinji. I know there is. It's like this weird feeling I get whenever they look at each other then seem to frown like their thinking really hard. Well at least Shinji is like that.
I hope we get to the new town before Arael runs out of stories. Maybe we'll meet more people and they can tell me stories too!
*******************************
Fire. People tend to give the color red to symbolize fire, but in it's intensity, blue would be more fitting since a when a fire goes to it's hottest, it is more of a blue color. And cold, wouldn't red be a more suit color? Red a harsh color, harsh like a snow storm. While heat is... hot.. it's not harsh. Like the Desert we're walking on. But if we were to walk in the winter snow, I bet Yui and me won't even last as long as Kure. Maybe eyes ARE the window to our souls. Asuka's blue eyes, life giving, soft, yet strong when she wants to be. Rei's red eyes, harsh, cold, but comforting in the middle of madness.
But what does orange mean? Arael's eyes, and hair. I still haven't figured it out. She is smart, but doesn't know a thing, doesn't show her thoughts to others unless you ask. She doesn't really show concern, but she did. She's like a walking contradiction. Yet it all makes sense.
"You like the fire don't you?"
Yui looked at me with a surprised expression, "umm.. err.. I- I guess so."
"Me too."
This time it was Arael that looked at me with a surprised expression while Yui just smiled and seem to understand what I mean.
"Why do you like watching something like a fire?"
"I guess it's... it's like us." Arael looked with utter confusion written all over her face.
"The fire, so free, but in fact, it can't move anywhere except for the wood pieces." Both me and Arael turned and looked at Yui, she is a surprise one after another!
"It flickers constantly trying to improve itself, trying to move away from it's mortality, yet in the end, all it takes is a step, and it's life would be snuffed out. I said that last part. Yui doesn't seem to agree with me as her expression turned from one of understanding to one of disappointment, like she didn't expect me to say something like that.
"So both of you like the fire because it reminds you of yourself?" Arael shook her head, "I can never understand what being a human means at this rate."
Yui giggled, I held back my laughter, but only succeded until Yui burst out laughing fully.
"Arael, not even we understand what it means to be human." I'm quite surprised that Yui doesn't seem at all surprised when I said that. "We're all still learning."
"Or maybe we are not supposed to learn it, just accept it." Arael said softly.
A new thought, maybe we ARE not supposed to learn what being a human is. But then, if there is one thing I learn during the whole third impact, it's that in order to know yourself, you must know others. If to know other means to know what a human is.. but I myself is human so I won't know what...
I'm going to start thinking in circles.
"I'm going to bed, wake me up tomorrow." Yui yawned and head to her tent.
"Arael, have you ever lost something knowing that you can get it back, but at the end, never did get it back?"
Arael sighed, "Of course, I'm an messenger, we don't die naturally."
They are the messengers, they don't die naturally...
Those words, for some reason, I know they are going to be in my head for a long time. I just hope that when I need it, I would remember it....
"Good nite Arael."
"Good night Shinji, may your dreams come and past never haunt."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did really turn out as I planned. This chapter didn't concentrate on Shinji and Arael, but more of the whole group. Ah what did I expect... psh, this was bound to happen.
I just realize that writing like this with three people is quite hard. Firstly, I'm only writing from the POV of Shinji and Yui alternating every time I change scene. That makes it hard for me to put Arael in the story too much for them to deal with each other. So in other words, they need to talk more -,- that comes to my second concern which is WHAT THE HELL ARE A GUY A GIRL AND AN ANGEL GOING TO TALK ABOUT!!! Hopefully I'm not going to as much trouble in the next chapter where they meet their next little challenge ^^
I'm not even going to leave a spoiler for the next chapter knowing that i'll probably leave this fic for a while -,- great... now even _I_ am thinking that i won't update enough.... ARGH. I need to write more....