Buffy's POV

Where am I? What in the hell happened? I'm in a hospital bed, but it doesn't sound or feel like I'm in a hospital. Maybe I'm at the slayer compound. They must have an infirmary. I never did get the tour.

I lift my head to look around and instantly wish I hadn't. Every part of me hurts, and I also seem to be mostly naked. I'm wearing what I think is a backward hospital gown, open to expose the raw wound across my torso. I try to raise my right hand to poke at the damage, but it won't respond. I look to my left and find it strapped to the bed.

What the hell?

I search for Faith's energy. She's close by, maybe even in the room, but I can't turn my head enough to see. I smile at her presence and feel a very unpleasant tugging on my face as I do. I don't remember what happened to me. Only that I was fighting Connor, and he attacked me with the Scythe. He was impossibly fast and strong. Faith and I are still alive, so I guess that means we won.

Yay?

More of what happened is starting to come back to me. I remember Faith screaming at me to stop - but it was too late. I already thought it was over for me. I had to take my chance and take Connor out. I remember her holding me and crying. I never imagined I'd see Faith cry like that. I knew she cared about me, but I still didn't expect that. I need her to know how sorry I am for doing this to her.

"Faith," I call out weakly. My throat is raw and scratchy. She's on the move and by my side in a flash - holding my hand and smiling down at me.

"Sorry about the restraints. You kept scratching yourself." She frees my left hand, and I try to sit up, but she pushes me down. "Take it easy. You still have a lot of healing to do." I try to raise my right arm to touch her, but it still won't move. I frown and look at it in confusion. "Willow thinks nerves are severed. She's been working to fix them." She smiles at me and caresses my cheek. "Why did you go with Shannon? You could have called for help." Her voice is soft, and I can see the hurt in her eyes. I hate that I caused her pain. I promised I would never hurt her.

"Keep you safe," I reply softly, it burns my throat to talk, and pain fires through my face. The tugging at my face becoming more of a ripping feeling now. She grimaces as I struggle to speak. "Connor..." I want to tell her what happened, but she presses her finger to my lips. I feel so dumb for making this choice. Not because of what I did to myself, but for how much I hurt her.

"Shh... it's OK. We can talk about it when you're better. He's gone, and you're safe. That's all that matters." She brushes the hair away from my face.

"I'm so sorry." I try to say, I can't tell if the words actually came out.

Willow knocks and enters the room without waiting for a response. She looks like she's been through hell, her skin even paler than usual, dark circles under her eyes.

"I brought some tea," She smiles as she hands the steaming mug to Faith. Kennedy is following not too far behind her. Ready to catch Willow if she falls, which looks like it could be any second.

Faith pressed a button on the side of the bed, and my head raises slightly. I'm suddenly very aware of my mostly naked body and get nervous. Faith jumped to arrange the sheet over me, doing her best not to let it rest on my wound. "Sorry, it needs air to heal." I nod my understanding, grateful that she seems to know what I'm thinking. She helps me drink the tea, and my throat feels instantly better.

"Thank you." My voice sounds almost normal, but the side of my face still burns. I want to ask more about what happened, but it doesn't seem worth the pain. I hope they'll just tell me whatever I might need to know.

"We found Spike, he's not OK, but he's... well, he's here." Willow shrugs and frowns slightly at the mention of Spike. I can only imagine what happened to him.

I'm unsure how I feel about knowing he's still alive. I never thought I'd have to see him again. I can tell from the way Faith's posture stiffened that she's not too happy about him being here.

I hope we'll get a chance to talk about it soon. I need her to know that he is nothing to me now, and she is everything.

There is an awkward silence as I continue drinking the tea. At least it seems to be doing something for my throat, and it no longer feels like it's on fire. Now I wonder why it hurts so much and how long I've been lying in this bed. It must have only been a few hours since I'm still in so much pain, and my wound doesn't seem to have healed at all.

Everyone looks really upset and worried, though. Faith and Willow both look so exhausted. Maybe I've been here a few days. I really hope no one else was hurt because of me.

"We found some interesting material they left behind." Willow smiles at me nervously, and I raise my eyebrow in concern. I stopped caring about whatever their plot was once I killed Drusilla. Will better not be about to tell me that Faith is still in danger. "I think I have a way to take away Slayer powers from individual slayers."

"You think?" Faith looks worried, and I'm just confused. That was the last thing I thought she'd say.

"I'm pretty sure we can take Shannon's powers and use them to help heal you." Willow grins like she's offering some great solution to the mess I got myself into.

"No!" I try to sit up and grunt at the pain. I want to explain that I just need more time, but it hurts too much to talk. I can already feel myself slipping back into the void.

Willow looks completely drained all of a sudden. "I don't think your arm will ever fully recover, and you may never be able to move it if we don't do this. And your wound..." She trails off.

I know I must look awful. The bandage on my face pulls at my skin whenever I try to talk. I probably should be more worried about losing my right arm, but I'd really like to be able to talk without searing pain.

"We have to do something with her anyway, we can't just let her go, and we can't keep her imprisoned here. She told us all her family was dead, but she lied. She could return to her life, but it's too dangerous if she still has her powers." Kennedy explains gruffly, her posture is agitated, and I'm not sure why. I'm surprised she's even in here. After all this, maybe I should try and connect with her. If we're going to be staying in Cleveland, it's not going to work too well if we're constantly arguing.

"This is insane. Are you saying you can make anyone not a Slayer anymore?" Faith looks down at me with wide, panicked eyes - I understand why she's freaking out. She thinks I would jump at the chance to no longer be a Slayer. I try to give her a comforting look, but I'm not sure my damaged face is cooperating.

"It will only work on the new slayers. The ones created by the spell." I try not to let my disappointment show, as Willow explains. The idea of being a normal girl was exciting for a second. I wouldn't have actually been willing to give up my powers, though. It's who I am.

Even if I forgot for a while.

"No." I shake my head, doing my best to appear confident in my decision.

"You don't understand, B. You're not healing." My heart breaks at the look she gives me, but I can't let them do this. It's not right.

"I will." Why are they giving me such a hard time about this. It's only been a few hours. I'm sure things are bad now, but I know I'll be fine.

"It's been six weeks." Faith says in a small voice.

My eyes widen in shock. All I feel is pain as I try to open my mouth to protest. She can't be right. It can't really have been six weeks.

"This is the first time you've been awake and coherent in six weeks," Willow adds sadly and it's a dagger to my soul to have it confirmed. "There was poison on the blade, preventing your wound from healing. I have a spell to counteract the effects, but I don't have enough power on my own."

"More time." Forcing the words out slowly, I can't accept the idea of taking someone else's powers to heal me, even if they don't want them. Even if they may have made mistakes. I look at Faith and hope she understands why I can't do this.

"Please, please let them try." Faith is holding my hand, but I can't feel it. She looks so sad and tired. I'm devastated by the news that it's been so long. Seeing how hurt she is makes me realize this isn't just about me. I hate this idea, but there doesn't seem to be any choice.

I nod. It's all I have the energy for now. I feel like consenting to this breaks something inside of me. I didn't think I had any more to break. I look around the room at all the concerned faces (even Kennedy's) and try to accept that not everything is about me.

I'll have to find a way to be OK with it for everyone else's sake.

Willow breathes a sigh of relief. "We'll try it tomorrow. In the meantime, try to get some rest." Kennedy shoots me a strange look as she leaves. I want to say something to her, ask why she hates me, but it hurts too much to talk.

Faith's POV

This better work. I can't stand to see her like this. She's only woken up a few times before, screaming from the pain each time. I'm grateful she doesn't remember any of that, but I remember every second of it.

Willow has been working tirelessly to heal her. It seemed like she was making progress, only for the wound to open again once they stopped pouring magic into her.

All of the slayers have lent their power to attempt to help her heal. They saw what she did, how she sacrificed herself to stop Connor and Drusilla. They had everything they needed and were so close to accomplishing their goal. The last thing was to capture me. Shannon confessed their entire plan. Breaking down into sobs once she'd seen what happened to B.

At least that's what they told me. I didn't see it - but I'm not sure I buy any of her tears. What she did was a little too fucked up for her to have changed her attitude so quickly. If anyone knows how hard it is to come back from the dark side - it's me. Shannon hasn't nearly hit rock bottom enough to suddenly change her ways.

I don't know how I feel about taking her powers away. Part of me hates her and wants her punished. But I can't help but wonder what would have happened to me if someone could have taken my powers away when I went off the deep end. I'd still be in jail or, more likely, dead. I wouldn't have been here for B.

Is there a chance that Shannon could turn things around too?

B whimpers, and suddenly I don't care if she could or not. What she caused is unforgivable, and B doesn't deserve to live like this.

As fucked up as it is - everything I did was to get Buffy's attention. To get anyone's attention, really. I was so desperate to be something that I clung to the only person that made me think it was possible.

Shannon sided with a completely insane vampire in a plot to undo all the slayers. It's not the same, and I need to stop trying to compare us.

It's not really my call whether or not they take her powers anyway.

I don't know what I would have done if they had succeeded with their plan to turn B into a vampire. I can barely even think about it without crying.

All I've been able to do for these past six weeks is watch over her, and think of how I should have done things differently.

I could have stopped her from going with Shannon. We could have been more patient and not let them trick us into coming up here. Though I'm sure they would have continued to harass us until we came - still, it didn't have to happen like this.

"You should sleep." I brush a few strands of hair away from her face.

"Not sleepy." God, she's cute when she's stubborn, which is just about all the time.

"What do you want to do then?"

She looks at me, and her eyes are so sad. I just want to make her feel better. "Lay with me?"

I move to her right side, believing that is the safest way not to hurt her, and start to slide in. She frowns at me and makes a sad little whimper, "what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No… it's just..." She nods to her lifeless right arm, and I shake my head at how absurd she is. Even in the insane amount of pain she must be in, all she wants is to be able to touch me.

She grins, her eyes sparkling up at me. I move to her left and carefully lay beside her, mindful not to touch her wounds. She seems dissatisfied with the amount of contact. Making small groaning sounds and attempting to move closer to me, likely hurting herself in the process.

I raise the head of the bed some more so I can sit upright. I wiggle myself behind her, so now she's leaning against me. She reaches for my hand and entwines our fingers. Sighing contently against my chest, she falls asleep.

After a few minutes of listening to her breathe, I drift off to sleep.

I feel her shifting above me, and I slowly open my eyes to find her facing me. Her hands are sliding up under my shirt. Shocked to see her whole and uninjured, I grab her hands, holding them in place.

"B? Is this real?" A faint scar on her face and across her chest is a likely permanent reminder of her gruesome wound.

She smiles at me and leans in for a kiss. I greedily accept, for the moment, not caring if this is a dream or not. We only had one day together before she was hurt. Living these past six weeks without her touch has been harder than I imagined. Now that I have her back, I'm never letting her go. Though we are finally going to talk.

We have things to talk about.

For now, I'm more than happy to enjoy the feel of her body against mine. I stare into her eyes and rub my thumb over her cheek. She turns her face and pulls at my thumb with her lips.

God, that is sexy.

I groan and pull her closer, kissing her hard. I don't think she expected the move, but it doesn't take her long to give back as good as she's getting.

I never could have imagined I'd enjoy kissing someone this much. It always seemed like a pointless pre-game warmup. It was something I did to make the other person happy - or sometimes to shut them up.

With B, it's totally different. It almost feels like kissing is the point.

She's still wearing that awful hospital gown, and I can't find a way to get to her skin. I am really enjoying the kissing, but I need to touch her. The door creaks open just as I'm about to shred the fucking thing.

"Sorry! I'll come back later." Willow lets out a squeak and jumps back out of the room, "I guess it worked." She mumbles to herself from the other side of the door.

Willow's disruption brought me to my senses, and I hold her off before she can start kissing me again. "This is real? You're really OK?"

"I'm a lot more than OK," she grins, capturing my lips again. Sliding her now very functional right hand into my pants.

"Wait."