FOREGIVENESS

Chapter Three: The Turning

Author name: Marie

Rating: PG

Summary: A woman from Spike and Angel's past moves to Sunnydale to begin again. Occurs at the end of this season's Buffy and Angel.


Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, except Emma

Feedback: Love it.

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England, 1880's

I was walking in a field, in my wedding dress. William was there, starring at me. I could barely make out his figure due to the glaring sun. It was almost as if he was glowing. I felt so warm, so amazing. This was our day. The day that we are going to get married. I am going to be with this man for the rest of my life. God, he is so beautiful. I look around and my family is all standing around smiling at me. Music starts to play in the background. I see the minister approach me. Then we are in the church but instead of warmth, a chill runs up my backside. My mother is at my side, she's all in black, tears streaming down her eyes. William's mother is starring incoherently into space. The room is so cold, so empty. I look down at the floor and it is wet. In front of me is a casket. I look around desperately for William. He isn't anywhere. There are crowds of people here, crying. Maybe William is up front. I start to walk towards the casket. The minister reaches out his hand to me. That's when I see him, my William. Instead of being full of light, like he was moments earlier, he is now pale and lifeless. He lies in the casket as if there had never been life in that body. Like it had always been soulless. I reach out to him and start shaking him. "William." I scream, but nothing happens. He just lies there. I bring my lips to his and kiss him softly, like he always did. His yellow eyes open with a start. His face changes into something not human, a monster. I scream as his fangs reach for my neck.

I wake with a start, screaming at the top of my lungs, sweat drenching my entire body. "William" I repeat over and over again. Sarah comes in and tries to calm me. Then my mother. They both try to hush me, but I won't be silent. "I want my William." I start repeating. They aren't listening to me. I break out in coughing fit, my mother rubs my back and places a handkerchief over my mouth. The coughing continues. I see blood begin to build up on the piece of cloth. "William" I scream again at the site of blood. The doctor comes in with my father and William's father. The two restrain me as the doctor pumps something into my veins. The lights brighten and images blur.

This is where I am most peaceful now. In the morphine hallucinations of warmth and comfort. Light and heat always fill the room. No more dampness or cold of these damn moors. But the sun of my Texas. The heat on the back of your neck as you ride through the open land. No boundaries, no conditions, no death.

I hear them whisper in the background. My mother crying, William's mother trying to console her. The doctor comes over and pinches my arm. The warmth again. But this time they are taking it out of me. They are taking my warmth. The blood flows out of my body and as it does a coldness takes over. I am now awake, aware of what the doctor is saying. Aware of where my William is. Aware that he was taken from me on the night before our wedding. Aware of the midnight wonderings that I took at night looking for him. Aware of the bricks of my chest and dizziness in my head. Aware that the doctor looks like he has given up. Talking to my parents about letting me go in peace. Aware that I have no strength left. But I do have strength left, I have to find my William. I try to scream out but no sound comes from my voice.

At night, the doctor gives me more morphine to dull my pain. I wake in the middle of the night to a cold hand touching my face. The coolness feels good against my fevered skin. I open my eyes to see my William sitting next to me. He looks like he did he my dream, cold and pale. But it is him I am certain.

"William." I whisper.

"Shh." He places his finger against my lips. "Save your strength."

"I missed you." I say not heeding his advice.

"I missed you to love. I am sorry about leaving. Didn't have much of a choice. I so wanted to see you in your dress."

I smile, this is my William he is back with me. "Don't leave me again." I whisper.

"Have too, can't stay with you forever."

"But you promised that you would. You would never hurt me, remember."

"I remember." There is hurt in William's eyes, the guilt of what he has done.

"Don't leave me again." I plead.

"Shh, I will stay tonight, but then I have to go."

"Take me with you." He jumps back with that statement and sits up straight. His seriousness coming through.

"I can't, love."

"Yes, you can."

"Shh, sleep now." He kisses my forehead and then my lips. He is so cold. His rests his body beside mine. I am comfortable again in my morphine dream. Except now I am cold against his body.

I dream the same dream for every night for weeks. Until one morning, I did not wake up. When I finally did a strange man was standing over me.

"I don't know what happened Spike, but she isn't supposed to be like this." He touches my hair, "She looks like a doll, don't you think, so delicate and pristine. Maybe I should help you finish the job." He smiles wickedly as William stalks over growling.

"You will stay away from her, Angelus. She is mine."