FULL CIRCLE

Chapter Five

Author name: Marie

Rating: PG

Summary: A woman from Spike and Angel's past moves to Sunnydale to begin again. Occurs at the end of this season's Buffy and Angel.


Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, except Emma

Feedback: Love it.

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Present Day Sunnydale

I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy Sunnydale. I did. Business was surprisingly good. And my social life was more active than it had been for years. Rubert and I started spending time together. At first, it was deep conversations over tea. Than it was trips to the theatre or a concert. Than came the dinners out, then the dinners in. If I didn't know better I would say the man was falling for me and unfortunately, I was completely gone for him. There was a feeling of safety and comfort in his arms when he held me. I hadn't felt that way in such a long time, that feeling of being loved and needed. And he was perfect. The only odd quirk about him was his relationship with a young woman. She doesn't seem to like me so much, but I guess that kind of goes with the territory. It didn't take me long to figure out who Buffy was, she was the slayer. And my Rubert, well, that would probably make him her watcher. Wouldn't William love that! But this slayer was a bit odd, she had a gang that helps her. There's the witch, I like her, she's sweet but a little quiet. She's a wealth of information, when it comes to magic and stuff, although I know she hates to talk about it. Then there is Xander and Anya, the tension between them is thick. Both are a bit odd though. And then there is Dawn, I convinced her to come and work for me after school. So everyday she pops in and does some research for Marcus and me. Usually though she ends up doing her homework or talking out some of her frustrations with me. I forgot how much angst there was being a teenager. But then I don't believe I ever had to deal with everything that she's been through.

"Hey Emma!" Dawn yells from the table.

"Right here, Dawn, no need to yell." I answer back.

"Oh sorry. Do you have any more envelopes that I could put these invitations in?"

"I think so. Underneath the counter in the bottom drawer. I should be stocked." Dawn was helping send out invitations to my one month anniversary of the opening. A little shin ding to bring some PR to the place. Business was good, but it could always be better. And nothing brings business like free champagne and food. "So are you going to help me cook?"

"Um, I don't think you want that."

"Why not?"

"You want the food to taste good, right?"

"I take you are not a cook." I smile at her.

"Duh."

"You don't need to know how to cook, just help me do some prep work, like cut the vegetables and sorts. Nothing major. Besides I'll pay."

"Just cut vegetables." Dawn didn't sound too convinced.

"Yeah and stuff some things. Cooking isn't some art you know, it's very scientific and incredibly hard to screw up. So don't worry okay. So you'll help."

"Sure. Just remember that you were warned."

"Note taken."

"And you don't have to pay me. Nothing else better to do next Saturday."

"I will pay and what do you mean, nothing else better to do. We really need to get you some dates."

"Don't have good luck with the guys. It's in the Summers genes."

"I don't believe it. Two beautiful girls like you."

"Total bad luck. Dad left my mom. Buffy's past three boyfriends up and left during the middle of the night. Plus, they were equally broody and depressing. And me, the first guy I dated turned out to be a little off."

"So you have a bit of bad luck. Doesn't mean that it can't change. One day you will met a guy and that will be it. There are no questions or doubts in your head. He is it."

"You sound like you are talking from experience."

"I am. I was engaged once."

"What?" Dawn was now all ears and totally ready for my story. I hardly talk about my past, so every time I do she swallows it up. "What happened? Where is he? Is that why you wear that ring?"

Nervously, I fidget with that ring. "Yeah, he gave me this ring. And no we are not still engaged. He, um, died a long time ago." I can tell that Dawn feels guilty about asking me all of these questions. "Don't worry, it really was a long time ago. I just never could bare to take the ring off, I guess. We were both really young, probably too young for marriage. But I loved him and would have done anything for him. You just know, when you see someone that is right for you. It's this feeling that you have in your gut. All of this butterflies and yet this comfort thing, you get so nervous talking to him and yet you never want him to go. It will happen to you, I promise. You just have to get out there."

"Do you feel that way with Giles?" Dawn, always the matchmaker.

" Get straight to the point why don't we."

"Always."

"It's not the same with Rubert. I don't think that the feeling will ever be the same. I was so young when I met William. I had seen anything of the world and that excitement was everything to me. But I'm older now and a bit calmer. I love being held by Rubert and I used to get nervous when he would stare at me. Now it's just ... I don't know how to explain it. But yes, I think I do feel that way about him. I actually had never really thought about it."

"Do you love him?"

"Dawn." Suddenly the embarrassment of this topic is showing in my face.

"Okay, okay, I'll let you go, this time. But next time I won't let you off so easily."

"Good, so when you are going to be done."

"Why do you have a hot date or something?"

"Nosy much?"

"Last time I checked, yes. So hot date?"

"No, I mean yeah, later. But Willow is coming over soon and I just thought, that well you might want to get off early tonight. . ."

"So let me interrupt, you want to be alone with Willow, so you are willing to have me leave early, right?"

"Exactly."

"What's the secret?"

"What?" Is is that obvious?

"The secret, why do you and Willow need to be alone?"

"Oh, no real reason. She just wanted to talk a bit, that's all."

"About?"

"You really are impossible." And with that Willow comes through the door to save me from this incredibly tenacious girl, who once her curiosity is peaked, there is little help for. I really do love Dawn, but sometimes she is a bit too much in my business. Which wouldn't be too bad, if my business wasn't so vampiric. "And she saves the day, once again." I greet Willow.

"What did I do?" Willow asks not quite sure what she just walked into.

"Oh, nothing. Emma was just about to tell me all about her deep dark secrets and her passionate love for Giles."

"Oh that's all is it."

"Yep."

"So Dawn, you want to get off early." I smile, knowing that even her curiosity doesn't stand a chance against her lack of puritan work ethic.

"Fine get the hint. Dawn not wanted." She pouts while she is packing up her things.

"Oh Dawn it's not that at all." Willow tries to soothe her bruised ego.

'Actually it is that." I snap back.

"Fine." Dawn pouts some more.

"See you tomorrow. And thanks for everything."

"Welcome." Dawn shouts as she leaves.

"I swear sometimes you two amaze." Willow smiles back as she sits.

"So did you get them?" I ask trying to avoid her last comment. Lately, I have taken on a sort of mother role with Dawn. Helping her in areas where Buffy can't. But sometimes, we take on a caddy role, where both of us act incredibly immature. But I really did want Dawn to leave, the less gossip she hears the better.

"Yes. Though I have to admit this is a bit odd."

"You think it's odd. Are they in the bag?"

"Go for it."

I begin to dig through the bag. She must have bought every test. "This is so ridiculous. I mean this is absolutely ridiculous.'

"Yeah. But how else can you explain it?"

"Indigestion?"

"Funny."

"No seriously, pregnancy is not one of those risk factors that I have ever had to deal with it."

"Well, I mean it would make some kind of sick sense. I mean if Angel and Darla could do it..."

"But they were a prophecy, an abnormality. If there was any chance, don't you think that it would have already happened by now? I mean it's not like my first."

"But Spike wasn't human."

"Not just Spike." The scary thing about this whole conversation is how normal and sane it sounds. Conversations with Willow have been like this for a while, freaky.

"Wait, who else? Angel... what is it with you?"

"It was the sexual revolution." That was lame excuse.

"So you were experimenting?"

"Yeah, something like that. Actually there was a lot of experimenting involved." My sex life is one topic that Willow always tries to avoid. At first I thought it was just because it was Rupert, but then I realised it's just me and my hundred year old sexual exploits that turns her off.

"Didn't want to know that." After a few minutes of reading the boxes, Willow chimed in with another brilliant thought. "But they were both vampires, dead and all. Giles is not. So maybe that's why. I mean maybe you could the whole time. You are still technically alive right."

"Even if that is the case. Are hundred year old eggs a little . . . isn't that a little gross?"

"Hey they're your eggs."

"Granted. So should we stop theorising and actually see. I mean in all likelihood it is indigestion."

"Right. Just some bad Chinese. "

Thirty minutes later....

"This is so not possible." This can not be possible. How could this be possible? "Okay Willow could they just be wrong?"

"Yeah. Absolutely. All twenty of them are wrong. That is absolutely possible."

"This can not be happening. Really serious here. I can not have a baby. I can not be pregnant. I mean look how it turned out with Angel, not good. There is no good here."

"Calm down. There is got to be some explanation."

"What? Another demon seed?"

"It may not be a demon..." Willow was desperately trying to figure out something to say that would calm me. It isn't helping.

"Hello! Demon, here."

"Yeah, but your not all demon right. Just the immortality thing and the lack of reflection and the adverse reaction to sunlight..."

"And the holy water and cross. I know all that."

"But you are not cold, you have a pulse, etc. All those organs are still alive. You actually age, although slowly. But you have aged."

"That's only because I haven't fed in ten years."

"But still that is different."

"Willow, different is one thing. But this is insane. How can a 136-year-old woman be pregnant? That is not normal. It is something beyond freakish."

"Something like a miracle."

"Or your worst nightmare. Choose one."

"Why don't we just think miracle until we know any better. I'll do some research and find out if this has ever happened before. Who knows maybe it is some prophecy. And you should just be calm, everything will work out."

"Faith." This is the reason I like Willow so much, not only is she interesting but she is incredibly strong and intuitive. She has been the only one so far to figure out what I am and she has never told. For some reason she trusts me. The weird thing is I trust her. So when she tells me that everything is going to work out I want to believe her. "And by the way all prophecies are bad. I haven't read one, which states 'all will be right with the world,' usually it is 'apocalypse coming -- run.'"

"So what are you going to tell Giles?"

"Giles, I kind of forgot about him. What am I going to tell him?" The door opens to the store.

"Hello all." Guess who. Fate loves to play those little practical jokes on me. First Willow, which was fortunate, now Giles, not so fortunate.

"Hey hon."

"I was just leaving. Have a good time at the concert. And thanks for helping me with that economics."

"Bye Willow. Thanks for everything."

"Bye." Giles adds before kissing me on the cheek. He is always like that, sweet and chivalrous. "You were helping her with economics?"

"Yeah, one of those rare topics I actually understand."

"I wasn't meaning that."

"I know." I kissed him on the cheek. He always gets so worried that I feel left out somehow. Probably because I do. They all have their secret meetings, which I only hear about because of WIllow. But Rubert doesn't know that.

"I just never knew Willow to ask for help in her studies."

"It wasn't a big deal, just a theory she couldn't wrap her head around. So where are we going to dinner?"

"I thought that we would try that new Chinese restaurant that opened on Fairway."

"Sounds good."

Giles and me how do I explain us. He is the kindest man that I have ever met. There was something comforting about him. And yes, I know that he is a watcher and I should be more careful, as Angel would say. But I can't. I tried to at first, but he started to wear me down, with his cute stuttering and his glasses. He was always so nervous around me at first and then he was delicate. Now it is perfect. He has learned that I am not as delicate as I appear at first and that I don't bite. But mostly, he knows me better than anyone else has in a long while. I honestly do love him. I truly never thought about feeling this way again. Angel wanted my love, but I could never give it to him fully. I was always still in love with William. Something has changed in me. Something has allowed me to love again.

Rubert stares at me. I can tell he is wondering what I am thinking about. The best thing is that when am around him all of my troubles disappear. Like the fact that apparently I am pregnant! Shit!

"So did you have a good day?"

"No it was slow. But we did get a lot of those invitations done."

"Well that's good. Do you want me to take them to the post office in the morning?"

"That would be great." The normalcy of our relationship is something that I cherish, did I mention that.