FEELINGS-PART FIVE
Grace went to her room that night and cried... and cried. *Why* she questioned herself. She didn't know why she ranaway because having Eli was all she ever wanted. *What's wrong with me?*, she once again tried to understand her reaction while the tears of fear, excitement, regret… kept flowing.
After Grace left, Eli couldn't move, he wasn't even sure he would be able to breath again. All he managed to do was sit on the floor and that's how he spent the night, sat on the floor, speechless, stunned, confused and hurt.
*
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On the next say, after finding courage from God knows where, Eli went in the house looking for Grace. He needed to talk to her, he needed to know why she turned him down and most of all he was desperate to taste her again. The memory of her sweet scent, her soft skin touching his… her lips… her tongue… was eating him up from inside. He had to have her.
But for his surprise Lily informed him that Grace decided to spend some days with her grandmother and that she had caught the first bus in the morning.
"But what about school?" Eli disappointedly stammered.
"Her grades are great. Grace said it wouldn't be problem if she spent a couple of weeks with my mom." Lily explained. "And besides, Grace's presence will help my mother a lot."
Eli nodded and went back to his miserable life. *She's avoiding me.*, he figured. *Why she had to go to another town? Couldn't she avoid me here?* , Eli desperately tried to understand why Grace was so afraid.
*
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*
Lily was right, her mother did get a lot better, she even thought she was cured… Well at least, that's what she told Grace.
*Thirteen days had gone since we *the kiss* *, Grace reminded herself for the thousandth time in that day. Even though she was so far away from him, Eli was the only thing that filled her mind in those days. She wanted him, she knew that for sure. But there was something inside of Grace that wouldn't let her give in and drown in his love. But she couldn't runaway forever. She had to go back home and face him. Maybe she'd go on and pretend *the kiss* never happened or maybe she could lie to him saying that she never had any feelings for him at all. Neither of the tow possible solutions that Grace have thought of seemed to be the right thing to do, but she didn't want to deal with the truth. So thinking that way Grace decided it was time to go home. She picked up the phone and called her mother.
"Grace's coming home!" lily exclaimed after hanging up the phone. "Isn't it great?!! I miss her so much."
"Well, I don't." Zoe teased her mother while putting her bowl in the sink and Lily made a face.
"When she's coming?" Eli, who for the past two weeks only said the words *good morning, goodbye and good night*, hopefully asked.
"Tomorrow morning." Lily brightly replied. "I think I should cook something special for her."
"It's no need for that. Lil." Rick hummed.
"Why not?"
"I don't know. Hugh… you know what, you're right." Rick agreed with Lily, knowing that she only wanted to please her daughter a little.
Jessie didn't seem to be all that thrilled about Grace's return. In spite of the fact they were getting along much better lately, Jessie still couldn't see Grace as a *sister* or a *friend*. Actually, at that moment Jessie was more interested in Eli. Since he got to know that Grace was coming back, his face seemed to gloe or something. She could tell by the look on his face that his feelings for Grace had grown and he couldn't hide it for too much longer.
*
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*
"Anybody home!!", Grace called coming in from the front door.
Everybody was having breakfast except for Eli, he was still in his bedroom. They didn't expect her to come so early. Zoe popped up from hair chair when she heard Grace's voice then hurried out to meet her. Rick and Lily did the same but Jessie, she snuck out to Eli's room instead.
*She's here. Grace's home.*, Jessie called from outside his door then she went to greet Grace. When Eli heard Jessie say Grace was back, he abruptly got up, threw the first clothes he found on and rushed to finally see her.
"How's mom?" Lily beamed at Grace.
"She's so much better! you wouldn't believe it. It's like she's not even sick.!" Grace responded glancing around the house, searching for Eli.
"Haven't you bought anything?" Zoe grinned, running through Grace's bags.
"Hey!! Haven't your mother taught you good manners?" Grace joked and Lily made a funny face.
"Hey, Grace! Welcome home!", said Jessie coming from the kitchen then she hugged Grace. When they let go of each other Grace heard his deep voice fill the room.
"Grace! You're back!!", Eli slight stated, staring Grace.
Grace got all embarrassed when she saw him. She didn't greet him back. She wanted to be as far as possible from him. when he uttered her name, she could hear the longing in his voice.
"I better take these upstairs.", Grace barely got out, grabbing her bags.
"I'll help you with those.", Eli offered his help, hoping they could have a moment without their family's curious eyes on them.
"No, it's ok. I got it.", Grace coldly refused his help and started up to her room.
Eli watched her go up then awkwardly stuck his hands in his back pockets and went back to his room.
*
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*
Both, Eli and Grace, didn't leave their rooms until dinner. She didn't know how she would behave whenever she was near him. Part of her wanted to grab his shirt and kiss him with all the passion that was in her body and part of her wanted to stick her head in the sand. And Eli? Well, he wanted her, he had no doubts about that.
During the dinner Eli and Grace kept their heads down, staring at their food. They were sitting in front of each other so they didn't dare to look up and *accidentally* find their hungry eyes. Lily kind noticed there was something going on but she didn't want to bring it up.
The Manning/Sammler family finished their meals. Grace and Jessie were the ones in charged to do the dishes. Jessie grabbed some glasses and took them to the kitchen while Grace made a pile of plates. grace grabbed the plates pile and carefully headed to the kitchen too.
"Let me help you.", Eli stopped her.
"No, I can handle it.", she replied, looking at her feet.
"Grace-", Eli whispered, placing his hands over hers.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!", Grace freaked out, abruptly pulling away and when she was able to think clearly again, all she could see was the plates, all shattered on the floor and of course, everybody's stunned looks at her and Eli.
Grace lifted her eyes and saw on Eli's face that she had hurt him badly with that attitude. She was terribly ashamed so she turned away and ran up to her room.
"What was *that*?", Zoe asked and Eli gave her and all the others that *Don't ask.* look
Knowing that he couldn't face them, Eli left the scene too.
"Could somebody tell me what just happed here?", Zoe insisted in knowing what was *actually* going on.
"We don't know, Zoe but we'll find out.", Lily snorted as Zoe began to sweep the plate shatters. "Rick, we gotta talk to them…NOW."
"I agree.", Rick said and Jessie realized it was not a good idea.
"You can't talk to them!!!". Jessie suddenly got out.
"Why not?", Lily frowned and so did Rick.
"Because… because…", Jessie didn't know what to say as they glared her, waiting for an answer. "Because… you're parents. They won't talk to you or at least, they won't tell you the truth.", she wisely responded. "I'll talk to them.", Jessie said, turning away to go to Grace's room but when she got in the middle of the stairs, she stepped back, going to Eli's room instead. Lily and Rick suspiciously watched her without understand a thing.
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*
"Eli! It's me, Jessie! Can I come in?", Jessie called, getting no reply. She waited a while then opened her brother's door. As she entered she saw Eli sitting on the floor, his face tears-stained.
"You told her, didn't you?", Jessie quietly hummed as she took a sit on the floor next to him.
"No, I didn't.", he slightly spoke and Jessie frowned. "… I… I kissed her.", he confessed.
"WHAT?", Jessie got surprised with his revelation. "But… huhg, um… when *that* happened?"
"Fifteen days ago.", Eli exhaled.
"Oh my God!", Jessie realized why Grace suddenly took the decision to stay with her grandmother. "That's why she went staying with her grandmother, isn't that?", Jessie figured and Eli nodded. They remained in silence for a few seconds until Jessie got out. "She freaked out, didn't she?'
"Pretty much.", he said, embracing his legs.
"But why she would do that? I don't get it.", Jessie quizzed, knowing that Grace, definitively had feelings for Eli.
"Maybe she doesn't fell the same.", Eli sadly added
"Well, that's amusing, Eli.", Jessie rose her ton a little, trying to sound sarcastic. "… What are you gonna do now?"
Eli looked at her and he no longer could keep his tears from falling, looking down he said, "I'm backing off… again.", tears rolled down his cheeks.
"You can't do that. Not now.", Jessie tried to support him.
"Why are you doing this?", Eli questioned and Jessie frowned. "What is this all about? Why are you so interested in me and Grace?"
"Hugh… um.. I… I-", Jessie was about to explain her reasons but before she could do it she was cut by Eli.
"I mean, when you first noticed there was something going on between Grace and I, I remember that you were not very pleased with that.", Eli said, his ton was filled with a little annoyance. "Now, it's like you want us to be together more than anything and-"
"And I do.", Jessie spoke and Eli puzzled. "I do want you two to be together."
Eli couldn't understand why Jessie wanted to help him so much, so she explained. "Have you seen yo lately? I mean, have you noticed how you've been acting lately?"
"What do you mean?", he quizzed.
"You and mom stopped fighting and so did you and dad. You're doing fine at Bookelovers, you haven't hung out with those sluts in a while, even your band is doing good too. Even though you haven't noticed… you've changed… and it's all about her.", as Jessie broke down the situation, Eli couldn't help but notice how mature Jessie was and he realized that he could count on her, no matter what. The thought of having his little sister as his best friend made him smile through the fog of pain.
"And there's something else.", she went on. "Whenever you're with her, you … you… you just can't stop smiling. She makes you happy and I want you to be happy.", she finished her explanation with a slight smile on her face.
Eli nodded and understood his sister's concerns and willing to help. And matter of factly, he knew she was right. Jessie gave him a peck on his left cheek and left.
"Why is it taking so long? What are they talking about?", Lily impatiently asked.
"Just wait a little more, Lil. She'll be-", Rick tried to calm Lily as Jessie suddenly passed by them, rushing up to Grace's room.
"Jessie! Wait!", Lily called and Jessie stepped back. "So?"
"What?", Jessie played dumb.
"What did he say?", Rick added as lily eagerly stared her.
"Oh! Huhg, um... it's nothing to worry about.", Jessie attempted to escape from their questions and began to go up again.
"But what he said, Jessie?", lily once more made her stop and come back to explain.
Jessie froze for a sec. She didn't know what to say to them. Rick and lily were giving her those *urging* looks as she tried to come up with something to say… "He hates her.", she wisely lied. Rick and Lily looked at each other in confusion as Jessie rushed up to talk to Grace.
*
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*
Grace was lying on her bed, crying when she heard a knock on her door. Since she didn't want to talk to anyone she just laid there, ignoring whoever was knocking.
"Grace! Grace! It's Jessie. I need to talk to you. Can I come in?", Jessie called.
Grace exhaled, closing her eyes, wishing she could disappear just not answer any question.
"Grace?!! Grace?!! Are you there?", Jessie called again then the door opened revealing Grace, wiping away her tears. Jessie stepped in and closed the door as Grace sat on her bed.
"Eli told me he kissed you.", Jessie announced, sitting next to Grace, who shook her head, looking away. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?', Grace mumbled, still not facing Jessie.
"You know *what*… why did you runaway?", Jessie questioned and Grace snorted a laugh in disbelief.
"I thought you were brave, Grace. I thought if Eli was the one to break, you'd be there for him, you'd fight to be with him.", Grace listened to Jessie's words and started tapping her feet then Jessie went on. "You fought for Mr. Dimitri… I can't believe that you're afraid that you're afraid of what my dad and your mom might do when they find out. I can't believe you're afraid of them.", Jessie's words were making Grace even more desperate than she already was. "What are you afraid of, Grace?"
Grace nervously snorted, trying to suppress her tears. She took a deep breath to force her voice to come out then she turned to face Jessie. Grace's face was covered with all of kinds of emotions… fear… doubts… passion… despair… excitement… so many emotions that Jessie, at first, couldn´t describe what she saw in Grace´s eyes.
"I´m not afraid of anybody.", Grace finally found courage to speak. "I don´t care about my mom´s reaction or your dad´s."
"So what is it then?"
Grace, again breathed deeply, she swallowed her emotions for an instant and began to explain. "What I feel for Eli is something I can not put into words. My feelings for him are so confused and strong… it pains me just to think of it. I can´t describe what I feel for Eli. I never could. It´s beyond me… This feeling over takes me in a way I can not comprehend. It´s just too strong.", Grace confessed.
"If you like him so much, why are you running away?", Jessie once more tried to understand Grace´s reasons.
"I don´t know.", Grace said, standing.
"How come you don´t know, Grace? I mean-"
"I just don´t, okay?!", Grace burst out as her non-stopping tears rolled down her face. "When we almost kissed… on the wedding day, I thought everything between us would be different but Eli just pretended * nothing * happened. It hurt… and it still does."
"Eli is different now. Can´t you see that?", Jessie stated and Grace hook her head, not wanting to believe in Jessie´s words.
Jessie didn´t know what else to say so she just stood there, observing Grace. As the minutes went by Jessie realized something that even herself didn´t want to believe it was true. But it was, Jessie could tell it.
"You love Eli, Grace.", Jessie put into words what Grace was afraid to. When Grace heard Jessie say * that * she lifted her eyes then lowered them again, she mentally began to deny it to herself.
* Jessie, Katie´s here! *, Grace and Jessie heard Zoe calling from downstairs.
"I gotta go.", Jessie announced, standing up. But before she left she adviced Grace, saying, "What you and Eli have found is something too deep, too amazing and pure to be thrown away. Don´t be stupid by letting it go.", Jessie words hit Grace more than she could imagined. After she left, Grace once again started to struggle with herself.
"Katie and I are going to the movies. Where is she, buy the way?", said Jessie coming down then putting her coat on.
"She´s waiting in the car.", Zoe informed, going up to her room.
"Ok, by everyone!", Jessie uttered.
"Jessie!", Lily called, making her remember to step back and give her father and step mother a good explanation for what had happened between Eli and Grace early that night.
"Huh… huh…, she hates him! Like I said before, it´s nothing to worry about.", Jessie lied again. "Gotta go."
"Wait! Let me see if I got it straight.", Lily stopped her again.
"Eli hates Grace…", Lily began…
"… and Grace hates Eli…", Rick added…
"… and it´s nothing to worry about!", Rick and Lily got out together, their tons were slightly sarcastic.
"Exactly!!", Jessie replied, exiting the room.
"Great!! They hate each other.", Lily said.
"I know.", Rick hummed.
"It´s nothing to worry about!", both got out again then they laughed at it a little.
*
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*
Six hours and a half have passed since dinner. It was almost 1:30 in the morning and Grace was still awake. She sighed and decided to go down to get some milk, when she got in the kitchen she found Eli there. Their eyes met immediately. They froze for a second then Grace turned around and began to leave.
"You don´t have to.", Eli slightly stated, making hr stop. "It´s your house, I´ll leave."
"It´s not like-", Grace attempted to speak but Eli didn´t let her to.
"You want me to be away from you. I got that. Don´t worry. I´ve made my mind, I´m going to live with my mom.", Eli sadly reported then he left to his room, leaving Grace speechless.
Eli got into his room and before he could close the door, Grace´s hand stop it. Eli stepped backwards and Grace slid into his room.
"What do you want?", he angrily asked.
"Eli, you don´t have to move away just because of me.", Grace said. "We will work this * thing * out and-"
"And what?", he snapped and she looked down, not knowing what to say. An awkward silence filled the room after Eli spoke. The silence was too thick and too hard for them to stand.
"Let me ask you something.", Eli shrugged. "Am I not worth it?"
"What?", Grace frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"What makes me worthless than Mr. Dimitri?", Eli bitterly quizzed.
"Eli, please don´t do this to me.", Grace begged him not to go there.
"No. I need to know, Grace. You did everything you could to be with Dimitri and now you can´t even consider the possibility to be in the same room as me.", Eli rose his voice a little. "Don´t come and tell me that I´m crazy or something or that I have imagined this whole thing between us cause you know it´s not true."
Grace fell backwards against the wall and slowly slid down, sitting on the floor. Eli couldn´t stop moving around his room, he was too uptight.
"Why, Grace? Why can´t you fight for me?", Eli desperately begged her to say something. "Why is he better than me?… Can´t you see that I want you more than anything in my life? You can´t do this to me, Grace."
"No! You can´t do this to.", Grace found her voice and spoke. Eli´s brow furrowed at her words. "You can´t do this to me, Eli. Not now.", said Grace again, standing up.
"What?", Eli quizzed. "Don´t try to turn this other way around, Grace. You gotta let me know why you don´t wanna be with me and why you fought to be with a black guy than with one of you teachers and you can´t fight to be with your step brother."
"Do you really wanna know?", Grace yelled a little and Eli said * yes *. "I did all I could to be with Jared or with Mr. Dimitri because I was desperate. My heart belonged to someone who didn´t want it. You, Eli. My heart belonged to you.", Grace confessed as her tears fell down. "Being with Jared, Spencer or Dimitri was all I had to help me to try to forget you, to stop wanting you, needing you."
Eli couldn´t believe his ears. Grace confessed she wanted him but it was something she wanted in the past. His heart ached when he realized it was all his fault. He wanted to say something, apologize but he couldn´t.
"Well, I guess you should know that I haven´t succeeded.", Grace spoke again and Eli looked at her filled-tears eyes. "I could not get you out of my heart. I couldn´t do it. But I have learned how to live without you, Eli. I´ve learned to see and not to touch you. I´ve learned no to have you even though I wanted you. I can´t go back. I can´t do that."
Eli listened to her words. She still wanted him. But she has been bruised and she was afraid to suffer again. Eli understood Grace but his hear spoke louder. He couldn´t let her go. Not now that he knew she wanted him too.
"What can I do to make you see that I want you and I´ll never hurt, I´ll never leave you?",Eli began beggin her to take him back.
"Nothing.", Grace breathed under her cry,
"Grace, please listen to me. I´m sorry. I´m sorry I hurt you before. I´m sorry it took me so long to understand that I want you. I do, Grace. I need you. Grace, please…", Eli desperately tried to make her see that he was telling the truth. He cried, he felt part. Eli sat down on the floor and cried like a scared little boy. Grace watched him there, helpless, needing her. She knew he was being true but she was still afraid. Her mind told her not to give in but her heart have given her permission to love him ages ago. She didn´t know which one she should listen.
"Grace, You and I have been playing this * sick and hide * game for so long. I don´t know if I can keep on playing it. I´m not strong like you. I don´t know if I`ll be able to keep begging you take me, to be with me. Because that´s what I´m doing here. I´m begging you please. Grace, please lo-", before Eli could finish his desperate request, grace threw herself on the floor next to him and kissed him.. They broke the kiss instants after. Eli looked deeply into her eyes and he got his answer, his so wanted answer. Eli took Grace´s lips again but this time he kissed her with all the passion and desired that was in his body. Eli trailed Grace´s lower lip with his tongue. It was asking permission to invade in. Permission conceded . When felt Eli´s tongue slid alongside hers, she couldn´t help but let escape a groan from her throat. Eli´s arms embraced her tightly. She felt her body burn in desire. It felt so good to be in his arms.
They hesitantly broke the kiss only to catch up some breath and go back kissing . As Grace and Eli drank of one another their hearts noticed a song on the radio, they were so nervous before that they didn´t notice it was on. A love song began playing. They stopped kissing and stared each other´s eyes. They didn´t need words, their eyes spoke thousands of the, and the song helped a little. The song sang…
* Whooo
Your love is like a gentle breeze upon a brand-new day
Your touch and what it does to me, like a flower needs its rain
We are like one of a kind, true love is hard to find
I can't go on another day
Just hear me when I say
I ask of you, would you love me, if nothing else went right?
And I ask of you, would you hold me, forever in your life?
And don't let me fall, 'cause I can only give my all
Here I am
I ask of you
I found the place where I belong, it's right here next to you
And nothing else matters now, with all we've been through
I can't go on, tryin' to deny just what I feel inside
But now before I let go, you gotta let me know
I ask of you, would you love me, if nothing else went right?
I ask of you, would you hold me, forever in your life?
Don't let me fall, 'cause I can only give my all
Here I am
I ask of you
Yes I do
I ask of you
oooh oh
I never really thought
(I never really thought)
That you'd be all to me
(Tthat you'd be all that really matters to me)
I'd give everything and all I am to you
Oh baby, baby, I know you feel this way too
I ask of you, would you love me, if nothing else went right?
And I ask of you, would you hold me, forever in your life?
And don't let me fall, 'cause I can only give my all
I can't pretend
I ask of you
I ask of you
I ask of you*
As the song ended all they did was smile. Eli slowly leaned in and kissed Grace again. Nothing mattered anymore and besides, their biggest fear had come true, they have fallen in love with each other and they have given into it… it was right. They were together now… at last.
Grace went to her room that night and cried... and cried. *Why* she questioned herself. She didn't know why she ranaway because having Eli was all she ever wanted. *What's wrong with me?*, she once again tried to understand her reaction while the tears of fear, excitement, regret… kept flowing.
After Grace left, Eli couldn't move, he wasn't even sure he would be able to breath again. All he managed to do was sit on the floor and that's how he spent the night, sat on the floor, speechless, stunned, confused and hurt.
*
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*
On the next say, after finding courage from God knows where, Eli went in the house looking for Grace. He needed to talk to her, he needed to know why she turned him down and most of all he was desperate to taste her again. The memory of her sweet scent, her soft skin touching his… her lips… her tongue… was eating him up from inside. He had to have her.
But for his surprise Lily informed him that Grace decided to spend some days with her grandmother and that she had caught the first bus in the morning.
"But what about school?" Eli disappointedly stammered.
"Her grades are great. Grace said it wouldn't be problem if she spent a couple of weeks with my mom." Lily explained. "And besides, Grace's presence will help my mother a lot."
Eli nodded and went back to his miserable life. *She's avoiding me.*, he figured. *Why she had to go to another town? Couldn't she avoid me here?* , Eli desperately tried to understand why Grace was so afraid.
*
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*
Lily was right, her mother did get a lot better, she even thought she was cured… Well at least, that's what she told Grace.
*Thirteen days had gone since we *the kiss* *, Grace reminded herself for the thousandth time in that day. Even though she was so far away from him, Eli was the only thing that filled her mind in those days. She wanted him, she knew that for sure. But there was something inside of Grace that wouldn't let her give in and drown in his love. But she couldn't runaway forever. She had to go back home and face him. Maybe she'd go on and pretend *the kiss* never happened or maybe she could lie to him saying that she never had any feelings for him at all. Neither of the tow possible solutions that Grace have thought of seemed to be the right thing to do, but she didn't want to deal with the truth. So thinking that way Grace decided it was time to go home. She picked up the phone and called her mother.
"Grace's coming home!" lily exclaimed after hanging up the phone. "Isn't it great?!! I miss her so much."
"Well, I don't." Zoe teased her mother while putting her bowl in the sink and Lily made a face.
"When she's coming?" Eli, who for the past two weeks only said the words *good morning, goodbye and good night*, hopefully asked.
"Tomorrow morning." Lily brightly replied. "I think I should cook something special for her."
"It's no need for that. Lil." Rick hummed.
"Why not?"
"I don't know. Hugh… you know what, you're right." Rick agreed with Lily, knowing that she only wanted to please her daughter a little.
Jessie didn't seem to be all that thrilled about Grace's return. In spite of the fact they were getting along much better lately, Jessie still couldn't see Grace as a *sister* or a *friend*. Actually, at that moment Jessie was more interested in Eli. Since he got to know that Grace was coming back, his face seemed to gloe or something. She could tell by the look on his face that his feelings for Grace had grown and he couldn't hide it for too much longer.
*
*
*
"Anybody home!!", Grace called coming in from the front door.
Everybody was having breakfast except for Eli, he was still in his bedroom. They didn't expect her to come so early. Zoe popped up from hair chair when she heard Grace's voice then hurried out to meet her. Rick and Lily did the same but Jessie, she snuck out to Eli's room instead.
*She's here. Grace's home.*, Jessie called from outside his door then she went to greet Grace. When Eli heard Jessie say Grace was back, he abruptly got up, threw the first clothes he found on and rushed to finally see her.
"How's mom?" Lily beamed at Grace.
"She's so much better! you wouldn't believe it. It's like she's not even sick.!" Grace responded glancing around the house, searching for Eli.
"Haven't you bought anything?" Zoe grinned, running through Grace's bags.
"Hey!! Haven't your mother taught you good manners?" Grace joked and Lily made a funny face.
"Hey, Grace! Welcome home!", said Jessie coming from the kitchen then she hugged Grace. When they let go of each other Grace heard his deep voice fill the room.
"Grace! You're back!!", Eli slight stated, staring Grace.
Grace got all embarrassed when she saw him. She didn't greet him back. She wanted to be as far as possible from him. when he uttered her name, she could hear the longing in his voice.
"I better take these upstairs.", Grace barely got out, grabbing her bags.
"I'll help you with those.", Eli offered his help, hoping they could have a moment without their family's curious eyes on them.
"No, it's ok. I got it.", Grace coldly refused his help and started up to her room.
Eli watched her go up then awkwardly stuck his hands in his back pockets and went back to his room.
*
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*
Both, Eli and Grace, didn't leave their rooms until dinner. She didn't know how she would behave whenever she was near him. Part of her wanted to grab his shirt and kiss him with all the passion that was in her body and part of her wanted to stick her head in the sand. And Eli? Well, he wanted her, he had no doubts about that.
During the dinner Eli and Grace kept their heads down, staring at their food. They were sitting in front of each other so they didn't dare to look up and *accidentally* find their hungry eyes. Lily kind noticed there was something going on but she didn't want to bring it up.
The Manning/Sammler family finished their meals. Grace and Jessie were the ones in charged to do the dishes. Jessie grabbed some glasses and took them to the kitchen while Grace made a pile of plates. grace grabbed the plates pile and carefully headed to the kitchen too.
"Let me help you.", Eli stopped her.
"No, I can handle it.", she replied, looking at her feet.
"Grace-", Eli whispered, placing his hands over hers.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!", Grace freaked out, abruptly pulling away and when she was able to think clearly again, all she could see was the plates, all shattered on the floor and of course, everybody's stunned looks at her and Eli.
Grace lifted her eyes and saw on Eli's face that she had hurt him badly with that attitude. She was terribly ashamed so she turned away and ran up to her room.
"What was *that*?", Zoe asked and Eli gave her and all the others that *Don't ask.* look
Knowing that he couldn't face them, Eli left the scene too.
"Could somebody tell me what just happed here?", Zoe insisted in knowing what was *actually* going on.
"We don't know, Zoe but we'll find out.", Lily snorted as Zoe began to sweep the plate shatters. "Rick, we gotta talk to them…NOW."
"I agree.", Rick said and Jessie realized it was not a good idea.
"You can't talk to them!!!". Jessie suddenly got out.
"Why not?", Lily frowned and so did Rick.
"Because… because…", Jessie didn't know what to say as they glared her, waiting for an answer. "Because… you're parents. They won't talk to you or at least, they won't tell you the truth.", she wisely responded. "I'll talk to them.", Jessie said, turning away to go to Grace's room but when she got in the middle of the stairs, she stepped back, going to Eli's room instead. Lily and Rick suspiciously watched her without understand a thing.
*
*
*
"Eli! It's me, Jessie! Can I come in?", Jessie called, getting no reply. She waited a while then opened her brother's door. As she entered she saw Eli sitting on the floor, his face tears-stained.
"You told her, didn't you?", Jessie quietly hummed as she took a sit on the floor next to him.
"No, I didn't.", he slightly spoke and Jessie frowned. "… I… I kissed her.", he confessed.
"WHAT?", Jessie got surprised with his revelation. "But… huhg, um… when *that* happened?"
"Fifteen days ago.", Eli exhaled.
"Oh my God!", Jessie realized why Grace suddenly took the decision to stay with her grandmother. "That's why she went staying with her grandmother, isn't that?", Jessie figured and Eli nodded. They remained in silence for a few seconds until Jessie got out. "She freaked out, didn't she?'
"Pretty much.", he said, embracing his legs.
"But why she would do that? I don't get it.", Jessie quizzed, knowing that Grace, definitively had feelings for Eli.
"Maybe she doesn't fell the same.", Eli sadly added
"Well, that's amusing, Eli.", Jessie rose her ton a little, trying to sound sarcastic. "… What are you gonna do now?"
Eli looked at her and he no longer could keep his tears from falling, looking down he said, "I'm backing off… again.", tears rolled down his cheeks.
"You can't do that. Not now.", Jessie tried to support him.
"Why are you doing this?", Eli questioned and Jessie frowned. "What is this all about? Why are you so interested in me and Grace?"
"Hugh… um.. I… I-", Jessie was about to explain her reasons but before she could do it she was cut by Eli.
"I mean, when you first noticed there was something going on between Grace and I, I remember that you were not very pleased with that.", Eli said, his ton was filled with a little annoyance. "Now, it's like you want us to be together more than anything and-"
"And I do.", Jessie spoke and Eli puzzled. "I do want you two to be together."
Eli couldn't understand why Jessie wanted to help him so much, so she explained. "Have you seen yo lately? I mean, have you noticed how you've been acting lately?"
"What do you mean?", he quizzed.
"You and mom stopped fighting and so did you and dad. You're doing fine at Bookelovers, you haven't hung out with those sluts in a while, even your band is doing good too. Even though you haven't noticed… you've changed… and it's all about her.", as Jessie broke down the situation, Eli couldn't help but notice how mature Jessie was and he realized that he could count on her, no matter what. The thought of having his little sister as his best friend made him smile through the fog of pain.
"And there's something else.", she went on. "Whenever you're with her, you … you… you just can't stop smiling. She makes you happy and I want you to be happy.", she finished her explanation with a slight smile on her face.
Eli nodded and understood his sister's concerns and willing to help. And matter of factly, he knew she was right. Jessie gave him a peck on his left cheek and left.
"Why is it taking so long? What are they talking about?", Lily impatiently asked.
"Just wait a little more, Lil. She'll be-", Rick tried to calm Lily as Jessie suddenly passed by them, rushing up to Grace's room.
"Jessie! Wait!", Lily called and Jessie stepped back. "So?"
"What?", Jessie played dumb.
"What did he say?", Rick added as lily eagerly stared her.
"Oh! Huhg, um... it's nothing to worry about.", Jessie attempted to escape from their questions and began to go up again.
"But what he said, Jessie?", lily once more made her stop and come back to explain.
Jessie froze for a sec. She didn't know what to say to them. Rick and lily were giving her those *urging* looks as she tried to come up with something to say… "He hates her.", she wisely lied. Rick and Lily looked at each other in confusion as Jessie rushed up to talk to Grace.
*
*
*
Grace was lying on her bed, crying when she heard a knock on her door. Since she didn't want to talk to anyone she just laid there, ignoring whoever was knocking.
"Grace! Grace! It's Jessie. I need to talk to you. Can I come in?", Jessie called.
Grace exhaled, closing her eyes, wishing she could disappear just not answer any question.
"Grace?!! Grace?!! Are you there?", Jessie called again then the door opened revealing Grace, wiping away her tears. Jessie stepped in and closed the door as Grace sat on her bed.
"Eli told me he kissed you.", Jessie announced, sitting next to Grace, who shook her head, looking away. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?', Grace mumbled, still not facing Jessie.
"You know *what*… why did you runaway?", Jessie questioned and Grace snorted a laugh in disbelief.
"I thought you were brave, Grace. I thought if Eli was the one to break, you'd be there for him, you'd fight to be with him.", Grace listened to Jessie's words and started tapping her feet then Jessie went on. "You fought for Mr. Dimitri… I can't believe that you're afraid that you're afraid of what my dad and your mom might do when they find out. I can't believe you're afraid of them.", Jessie's words were making Grace even more desperate than she already was. "What are you afraid of, Grace?"
Grace nervously snorted, trying to suppress her tears. She took a deep breath to force her voice to come out then she turned to face Jessie. Grace's face was covered with all of kinds of emotions… fear… doubts… passion… despair… excitement… so many emotions that Jessie, at first, couldn´t describe what she saw in Grace´s eyes.
"I´m not afraid of anybody.", Grace finally found courage to speak. "I don´t care about my mom´s reaction or your dad´s."
"So what is it then?"
Grace, again breathed deeply, she swallowed her emotions for an instant and began to explain. "What I feel for Eli is something I can not put into words. My feelings for him are so confused and strong… it pains me just to think of it. I can´t describe what I feel for Eli. I never could. It´s beyond me… This feeling over takes me in a way I can not comprehend. It´s just too strong.", Grace confessed.
"If you like him so much, why are you running away?", Jessie once more tried to understand Grace´s reasons.
"I don´t know.", Grace said, standing.
"How come you don´t know, Grace? I mean-"
"I just don´t, okay?!", Grace burst out as her non-stopping tears rolled down her face. "When we almost kissed… on the wedding day, I thought everything between us would be different but Eli just pretended * nothing * happened. It hurt… and it still does."
"Eli is different now. Can´t you see that?", Jessie stated and Grace hook her head, not wanting to believe in Jessie´s words.
Jessie didn´t know what else to say so she just stood there, observing Grace. As the minutes went by Jessie realized something that even herself didn´t want to believe it was true. But it was, Jessie could tell it.
"You love Eli, Grace.", Jessie put into words what Grace was afraid to. When Grace heard Jessie say * that * she lifted her eyes then lowered them again, she mentally began to deny it to herself.
* Jessie, Katie´s here! *, Grace and Jessie heard Zoe calling from downstairs.
"I gotta go.", Jessie announced, standing up. But before she left she adviced Grace, saying, "What you and Eli have found is something too deep, too amazing and pure to be thrown away. Don´t be stupid by letting it go.", Jessie words hit Grace more than she could imagined. After she left, Grace once again started to struggle with herself.
"Katie and I are going to the movies. Where is she, buy the way?", said Jessie coming down then putting her coat on.
"She´s waiting in the car.", Zoe informed, going up to her room.
"Ok, by everyone!", Jessie uttered.
"Jessie!", Lily called, making her remember to step back and give her father and step mother a good explanation for what had happened between Eli and Grace early that night.
"Huh… huh…, she hates him! Like I said before, it´s nothing to worry about.", Jessie lied again. "Gotta go."
"Wait! Let me see if I got it straight.", Lily stopped her again.
"Eli hates Grace…", Lily began…
"… and Grace hates Eli…", Rick added…
"… and it´s nothing to worry about!", Rick and Lily got out together, their tons were slightly sarcastic.
"Exactly!!", Jessie replied, exiting the room.
"Great!! They hate each other.", Lily said.
"I know.", Rick hummed.
"It´s nothing to worry about!", both got out again then they laughed at it a little.
*
*
*
Six hours and a half have passed since dinner. It was almost 1:30 in the morning and Grace was still awake. She sighed and decided to go down to get some milk, when she got in the kitchen she found Eli there. Their eyes met immediately. They froze for a second then Grace turned around and began to leave.
"You don´t have to.", Eli slightly stated, making hr stop. "It´s your house, I´ll leave."
"It´s not like-", Grace attempted to speak but Eli didn´t let her to.
"You want me to be away from you. I got that. Don´t worry. I´ve made my mind, I´m going to live with my mom.", Eli sadly reported then he left to his room, leaving Grace speechless.
Eli got into his room and before he could close the door, Grace´s hand stop it. Eli stepped backwards and Grace slid into his room.
"What do you want?", he angrily asked.
"Eli, you don´t have to move away just because of me.", Grace said. "We will work this * thing * out and-"
"And what?", he snapped and she looked down, not knowing what to say. An awkward silence filled the room after Eli spoke. The silence was too thick and too hard for them to stand.
"Let me ask you something.", Eli shrugged. "Am I not worth it?"
"What?", Grace frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"What makes me worthless than Mr. Dimitri?", Eli bitterly quizzed.
"Eli, please don´t do this to me.", Grace begged him not to go there.
"No. I need to know, Grace. You did everything you could to be with Dimitri and now you can´t even consider the possibility to be in the same room as me.", Eli rose his voice a little. "Don´t come and tell me that I´m crazy or something or that I have imagined this whole thing between us cause you know it´s not true."
Grace fell backwards against the wall and slowly slid down, sitting on the floor. Eli couldn´t stop moving around his room, he was too uptight.
"Why, Grace? Why can´t you fight for me?", Eli desperately begged her to say something. "Why is he better than me?… Can´t you see that I want you more than anything in my life? You can´t do this to me, Grace."
"No! You can´t do this to.", Grace found her voice and spoke. Eli´s brow furrowed at her words. "You can´t do this to me, Eli. Not now.", said Grace again, standing up.
"What?", Eli quizzed. "Don´t try to turn this other way around, Grace. You gotta let me know why you don´t wanna be with me and why you fought to be with a black guy than with one of you teachers and you can´t fight to be with your step brother."
"Do you really wanna know?", Grace yelled a little and Eli said * yes *. "I did all I could to be with Jared or with Mr. Dimitri because I was desperate. My heart belonged to someone who didn´t want it. You, Eli. My heart belonged to you.", Grace confessed as her tears fell down. "Being with Jared, Spencer or Dimitri was all I had to help me to try to forget you, to stop wanting you, needing you."
Eli couldn´t believe his ears. Grace confessed she wanted him but it was something she wanted in the past. His heart ached when he realized it was all his fault. He wanted to say something, apologize but he couldn´t.
"Well, I guess you should know that I haven´t succeeded.", Grace spoke again and Eli looked at her filled-tears eyes. "I could not get you out of my heart. I couldn´t do it. But I have learned how to live without you, Eli. I´ve learned to see and not to touch you. I´ve learned no to have you even though I wanted you. I can´t go back. I can´t do that."
Eli listened to her words. She still wanted him. But she has been bruised and she was afraid to suffer again. Eli understood Grace but his hear spoke louder. He couldn´t let her go. Not now that he knew she wanted him too.
"What can I do to make you see that I want you and I´ll never hurt, I´ll never leave you?",Eli began beggin her to take him back.
"Nothing.", Grace breathed under her cry,
"Grace, please listen to me. I´m sorry. I´m sorry I hurt you before. I´m sorry it took me so long to understand that I want you. I do, Grace. I need you. Grace, please…", Eli desperately tried to make her see that he was telling the truth. He cried, he felt part. Eli sat down on the floor and cried like a scared little boy. Grace watched him there, helpless, needing her. She knew he was being true but she was still afraid. Her mind told her not to give in but her heart have given her permission to love him ages ago. She didn´t know which one she should listen.
"Grace, You and I have been playing this * sick and hide * game for so long. I don´t know if I can keep on playing it. I´m not strong like you. I don´t know if I`ll be able to keep begging you take me, to be with me. Because that´s what I´m doing here. I´m begging you please. Grace, please lo-", before Eli could finish his desperate request, grace threw herself on the floor next to him and kissed him.. They broke the kiss instants after. Eli looked deeply into her eyes and he got his answer, his so wanted answer. Eli took Grace´s lips again but this time he kissed her with all the passion and desired that was in his body. Eli trailed Grace´s lower lip with his tongue. It was asking permission to invade in. Permission conceded . When felt Eli´s tongue slid alongside hers, she couldn´t help but let escape a groan from her throat. Eli´s arms embraced her tightly. She felt her body burn in desire. It felt so good to be in his arms.
They hesitantly broke the kiss only to catch up some breath and go back kissing . As Grace and Eli drank of one another their hearts noticed a song on the radio, they were so nervous before that they didn´t notice it was on. A love song began playing. They stopped kissing and stared each other´s eyes. They didn´t need words, their eyes spoke thousands of the, and the song helped a little. The song sang…
* Whooo
Your love is like a gentle breeze upon a brand-new day
Your touch and what it does to me, like a flower needs its rain
We are like one of a kind, true love is hard to find
I can't go on another day
Just hear me when I say
I ask of you, would you love me, if nothing else went right?
And I ask of you, would you hold me, forever in your life?
And don't let me fall, 'cause I can only give my all
Here I am
I ask of you
I found the place where I belong, it's right here next to you
And nothing else matters now, with all we've been through
I can't go on, tryin' to deny just what I feel inside
But now before I let go, you gotta let me know
I ask of you, would you love me, if nothing else went right?
I ask of you, would you hold me, forever in your life?
Don't let me fall, 'cause I can only give my all
Here I am
I ask of you
Yes I do
I ask of you
oooh oh
I never really thought
(I never really thought)
That you'd be all to me
(Tthat you'd be all that really matters to me)
I'd give everything and all I am to you
Oh baby, baby, I know you feel this way too
I ask of you, would you love me, if nothing else went right?
And I ask of you, would you hold me, forever in your life?
And don't let me fall, 'cause I can only give my all
I can't pretend
I ask of you
I ask of you
I ask of you*
As the song ended all they did was smile. Eli slowly leaned in and kissed Grace again. Nothing mattered anymore and besides, their biggest fear had come true, they have fallen in love with each other and they have given into it… it was right. They were together now… at last.