CHAPTER 8:

The 1776 Bar and Grill was a small restaurant in the middle of campus that relied heavily on the student population to keep it afloat. It had been the prefect place for John to get a part time job as every summer business tanked and they needed to downsize to the most basic skeleton crew to get by. But each autumn, when the school year started and the students rolled in again, they looked for more people to hire. John had worked there for two school years thus far, and as he knocked on the glass doors and made a silly face at Angelica to came let him in he hoped they would want him for a third. "What's the password?" she teasingly asked him before she would let him cross.

"Viva La Revolution!" he cried, making her laugh and open the door for him. Quickly he stepped inside and she closed and locked the door behind him. Business didn't open till 11am, 45 minutes from now and just in time for lunch, and then it ran all the way until 2am, when it would have to shoo away a handful of drunken patrons at best. "Who's in charge today?" he asked, and Angelica gave him a sly look.

"You're in luck," she replied, leading him back into the restaurant. "It's Mrs. Lovette today. Mr. Todd had some business in London, he won't be back til next week." John sighed and forced a smile. Both of the owners of this place were odd. In the two years that he'd worked in the kitchen he'd only seen Mr. Todd a handful of times, skulking around, glowering at things as if they'd all somehow slighted him personally. He'd only seen him smile once, and the look had been, well, chilling. Then, there was Mrs. Lovette...

"JOHN!" the woman called as walked around to the back part of the kitchen. Her messy hair was all put up to be out of the way and her clothes were covered in a flour. She stopped her toils kneading bread and opened her arms wide, hugging him as he approached and covering him with the flour that coated nearly everything in the vicinity. "How's it been there, love?" she asked him, cooing in her heavy English accent and dusting the heavier patches of flour off his chest. The running rumor was that Mrs. Lovette liked to collect strapping young boys to keep around the shop, as evident by how much more friendly she was toward them then she was the girls. Mr. Todd just hired whoever the hell looked competent.

"I'm alright," John replied, smiling politely. "Just hoping you haven't hired anyone yet for the year?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I hired a kid just last week, but he went and got his arm broke, he did. He's been rubbish at the grill ever since, and I certainly could use a lad like you back in my kitchen. I suppose I can move dear Evan to be our extra bar maid for now, that might suit him nicely, till the poor thing's arm heals. You are asking for a job again, ain't ya lad?" John nodded enthusiastically. "Right, well, I've got my crew in already for today, but I'll put you on the schedule starting next week. You got your school schedule for the semester then there love?"

Again John nodded and pulled out his class schedule, holding it up for her to look over. "I tried to keep the same days open as last year."

"Right, I think I see that. Have Angelica get you an availability form and fill it out though, and come back on Saturday when next week's schedule goes up."

"Okay," John said as he backpedaled. "I'll see you on Saturday."

Giddy with how much the day had turned around from where it had been a few hours ago, John nearly skipped back to the front of the store. Angelica looked up from tucking silverware into napkins as he approached. "I take it you successfully sold your soul back into servitude here for one more year?"

"This year it got me a shiny pack of smokes," John said with a laugh.

"You don't smoke," Angelica retorted.

"Well, not yet," John replied. "I need an availability sheet. Ahh! Here we go." He plucked one such paper from the stack of them kept tucked away under the waiter station with other applications. Swiping a pen from the checkbooks the waiters delivered at the end of patron's meals, he began to fill it out.

"Did you see the new kid back there?" Angelica asked. "Jared got him the job and he's been training him, but I don't know how in the world they expect that kid to work a kitchen by himself with a broken arm."

"Mrs. Lovette said she'll move him to drinks til it heals. He should be okay."

"I don't know...he seems kind of timid."

"I was too when I started here. Y'all are a bunch of wild animals, yelling and hooting and hollering around here." John shrugged, thinking of his own first days in the kitchen, training under the co-workers that already knew each other so well and weren't sure of him yet. He made a note to talk to the boy when he came in if the kid still seemed unsure of himself, but really he had little to fear working in their restaurant. They were a motley crew, that's for sure. As an immigrant herself, Mrs. Lovette took in anyone who looked like they could get the job she gave them done, and so John had the distinct pleasure of working with people from more then a handful of places. Usnavi told them stories of his family back in the Dominica Republic, Nala countered with her own tales of Kenya, and they even had a French waiter John had harbored a secret crush on for the first few months. However, unlike Lafayette, Lumiere was juuuuuust European. He frowned, remembering his embarrassment when he'd worked up the courage to ask the guy out, only to be laughed at and told no outright. Usnavi had to fish John out of the walk in freezer with a hot coffee and the promise that no one was gunna snitch on him if he needed to dip out of closing duties that evening to go lick the wounds to his ego and pride.

"Hey, is Lumiere still around?" John asked, as he finished filling out the form.

"It's his day off," Angelica replied. "He's back in on Thursday. Why?"

"I was wondering if he's met Laf yet."

Angelica shook her head and rolled her eyes. "They have, and it did not end well."

"Really?" John replied, perplexed. "What happened?"

"I dunno, they seemed to get along at first. Then everything turned on a dime and they were screaming at each other in French. I have no idea what they said, but I can tell you none of it was stuff you'd say to your parents and not expect to be spanked for." John frowned. As if sensing that he was thinking about him, his phone pinged and John pulled it out to read the message he'd gotten from Lafayette.

John, where are you? I am worried. :(

John groaned, remembering he'd told him he would call him back after he talked with Alex. He'd simply felt so relieved to understand that Alex would listen to him he had forgot the call from his best friend had been to make him feel better. The day was turning around, he did feel better.

'Sorry Laf, I had to go to work. I'm just finishing up here, wanna meet me for lunch?'

Of course! Thomas and I will meet you at the Starbucks down at the corner, okay?

John frowned harder, but decided not to say anything about that. 'Why didn't you tell me you met Lumiere?' he asked. "Okay, I've gotta go meet your roommate so I can hear all about this fight he had with our dear co-worker. Will you make sure Mrs. Lovette gets this?"

"Sure," Angelica replied. "Enjoy your last days of freedom while they last, John!" she called after him and he flashed her a grin as he headed out. His phone pinged again and he looked down at it to see what Lafayette had said.

I did not think that much of him. He thinks he knows better then people when he clearly does not. He is very judgmental and overbearing.

He raised an eyebrow reading that. 'Oh hoooo, didn't like when the magic mirror told you you weren't the fairest in the land, did you Laf?'

I do not know what you are talking about.

'Will you tell me what the fight was about?'

How much did Angelica tell you?!

'She said you had a lot of heated French words to say to each other. So what was the fight about?'

Cette salope bavarde. Nothing in particular. I simply do not like the way he thinks he is right on everything and will not consider another person's feelings.

He sighed as he got to the Starbucks and sat down at one of their outside tables. 'I asked him out once, you know.'

Hmmm, I wonder why you would do that.

'Ass, you know it's because you spoiled me. He turned me down flat. I spent the night crying about it then, but I'm over it now.'

As I said, he does not consider another person's feelings. It was not right of him to laugh at you for that.

'So your fight was about me then.'

I never said that.

'I never told you he laughed at me for asking him out either.'

The animated dots appeared and disappeared several times as Lafayette tried to craft a response but he knew his friend wouldn't have one. Angelica and Peggy weren't on duty that night, it had only been himself, Lumiere and Usnavi; unless the Dominican had spilled the beans, Lafayette had to have found out about what happened from the only other person who had been involved. John saw Thomas's truck pull up before Lafayette could give him a response tho and he figured it didn't matter. It would be hard for Lafayette to avoid having a face to face conversation about this now. The truck turned into a parking space and Thomas turned it off before stepping out. "Hey," he called as John walked over. "Are you cutting again?"

John stopped abruptly at the sudden question. "No!" he cried defensively. "Why the hell would you ask me that?!" Inside the truck, Lafayette gave Thomas an exasperated look.

"Well, your fairy gay father is worried that you are, so go talk with him about it. Do you want anything from inside?"

"No," John said, giving Thomas a glare as he walked past. He took a deep breath and shook his head, moving around to the passenger side of the truck and opening the door. "I told you I'm not cutting again."

"And how many times have you said that to me with a straight face and I stupidly believed you?" Lafayette countered as he scooted over to give John room to climb into the cab of the truck. "I know all your games John Anthony Laurens, you cannot play them with me."

"So what? Do you want to stick your hands down my pants and feel me up yourself, then?" Lafayette didn't reply, just gave him a level stare. John tried to hold his gaze but eventually broke, looking down at his shoes. "Fine. I did cut this morning. Are you happy to hear that?"

"Non." Lafayette opened his arms and John finally, reluctantly, climbed in next to him. His best friend hugged him, asking "How bad is it?"

"I just needed a few band-aids, it's not even that bad."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"You were probably still asleep."

"So wake me up."

"I didn't want to."

"And hurting yourself was an acceptable alternative?"

John shrugged. "I haven't cut in a very long time, if it helps," he muttered. "Just the last few days have been...a lot..."

"You are better then this, mon amie."

"Clearly I'm not," John replied. "Otherwise I wouldn't be doing it. And was running off to tell Thomas about my problems really necessarily? You know how I feel about him knowing my personal shit like that."

"Would you rather I had jumped out of this car and pulled your pants off in public?"

"You wouldn't dare." But another level look from Lafayette and a memory of one fight in particular where he had stripped John against his will, thankfully behind closed doors, told John that yes, that had been a serious consideration of his best friend this morning. "Ass," John muttered.

"I expect you to show me when we get back to Thomas's, I want to be sure you are telling me the truth."

"Oh for fuck's sake," John sighed and lifted his hips while he unbuckled his pants. Pushing his pants down and pulling up the fabric of his boxers, he turned his legs out to expose the scarred flesh and that pads of gauze he'd taped over the fresh cuts. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, trying to ignore the way his best friend's hands ran dangerously close to areas he was no longer supposed to touch. Lafayette peeled back one pad and checked the wounds underneath, frowning unhappily as he counted off the marks on one leg, then did the same on the other.

"37," he said, pressing the tape back against John's skin. "You cut yourself 37 times."

"I don't really keep track anymore," John said, pulling his pants up. "I just—" a knocking on the window from the door he'd climbed in got his attention and as he looked over he nearly screamed.

"Hey," his little brother Henry said. "I went to your dorm but no body was there. If you're done getting sucked off by your boyfriend, can you show me where to get food?"

"Henry!" John yelled, and reached for the door handle, but Lafayette beat him to it and reminded him that his fly was still undone. Hastily, John zipped his pants back up and got out of the car, but his little brother was already moving to the other side of the vehicle sensing his older brother's upset. "What are you doing?" John hissed at him. "Come here."

"Nuh-uh," Henry replied. "You're gunna hit me."

"No I'm not, come here," John replied through gritted teeth. He bolted around the car to try and grab his brother but the game was one they played all too often over far lesser things and Henry bolted away, keeping the truck between him and John. "Damnit, don't make me chase you!"

"Well, what are you gunna do to me?" Henry asked, hoping in place. He eyed Lafayette as the French man also climbed out of the truck, but he did not give chase to the younger boy, who bolted once more as John made a dash for him while he was distracted.

"Stop and you'll find out!" John called.

"Tell me and maybe I'll stop!"

"Henry, this isn't funny, stop!"

"Stop chasing me then!"

"I can't chase you if you don't run!"

"You can't chase—" Henry started to taunt as he ran out behind the truck, meaning to turn a wide circle in the extra space of the parking lot, but a car blared it's horn and startled him into freezing. John heard the tires screech as he grabbed his brother and swung him back against the back of Thomas's truck, pinning him there with his own body and praying they wouldn't get hit.

"The fuck is the matter with you?!" John heard the driver scream at them.

"Désolé! Désolé! Sorry!" he heard Lafayette call back, running to make sure they were okay and waving the car past. John felt his brother hug him tight. He buried his face in the shorter mop of curly hair on the young man's head and thanked god nothing had happened.

"Are you okay?" John asked as the car drove away. Henry nodded and John sighed, hugging the little shit he called his brother again. "Good," he sighed, then swatted him upside the head.

"OW! JOHN!"

"This is why we DO NOT run in parking lots!" John angrily hissed at him. He grabbed his brother by the arm, squeezing tightly, and started walking him back toward the sidewalk. "When I say come, you come."

"John! You're hurting me! Let go!"

"John," Lafayette chided. "Calm down."

"Stay out of this, Laf!" he said, whirling on his best friend. "You want to give me lectures about how I should live my life, that's fine, but don't you dare—"

In the moment that John was distracted, his brother yanked his arm free. "YOU SOUND JUST LIKE DAD!" he screamed and John's attempt to snatch him again stopped cold.

"...what?"

"I said, you're not our father, John!"

"That's not what you said," he countered.

"It's what I meant!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID, HENRY!"

"Okay, Enough!" Lafayette said, working his way between John and Henry. "John, you need to get a grip. And do not tell me to stay out of this, I will not sit here and watch you blow up at your brother because you are upset about...other things."

"Like being gay?" Henry sneered. John almost lunged for him but Lafayette stopped him with a wave of his hand and a look that warned John he would receive no further warnings to calm himself from the French man. Lafayette waited to be sure John understood his unspoken message then, slowly, he turned his attention to Henry in such a way that the younger male took a step back on instinct.

"Your brother is gay, Henry," Lafayette said in a calm and even tone. "As you have said, that is a well known fact. So what? Why does our love for each other bother you so much? Hmm?" Henry looked between Lafayette and John, seeking some clue as to how he should answer the man standing before him. "Are you threatened by it in some way?" Lafayette asked him. "Does it scare you somehow? Or are you merely regurgitating the rhetoric your father and your mother has raised you to believe is true without ever once stopping to think about whether or not it is for yourself? Do you think about why you should or should not do certain things, or will you live your whole life out doing only what other people tell you to do?"

"Look, John, I don't give a single shit what you wanna do with your penis," Henry replied, surprising both his brother and the French man standing in front of him. "Just like, keep it behind closed doors, alright?"

"Why?" Lafayette injected. "There is nothing wrong with him, or me. We are human and we deserved to be loved as openly as you—"

"Hey, if you wanna hold his hand and kiss him in public, be my guest! But even if you had a nice rack and curves in all the right places I'd still be telling you not to not to put your mouth on my brother's dick where any passer by could just look over and see him!"

John stepped past Lafayette, it was his turn to hold him off with a wave of his hand and tilted his head to the side. "Are you saying you don't care that I'm gay?"

Henry shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal. "I know Martha and Mary say it more then me and Elias, but yeah."

"Then...why did you call me a faggot yesterday?"

Henry looked down at his shoes and shrugged. "You are one. So what?"

"So, I was hurt when you said it, that's what."

"But I didn't mean to hurt you. I said it cuz Dad does."

"That doesn't make it okay. You know that right?"

Henry shrugged and refused to look up at his brother. "Are you mad at me?"

"You're my little brother, being pissed at you I my default setting," John replied. He reached for Henry and pulled him into a hug. "I still love you, you stupid little shit."

"I love you too, you queer fruit cup."

"Not cool."

"Gay fairy?"

"Also not okay."

"Flaming homo?"

"Nope."

"Well how come you get to call me a stupid little shit and I can't insult you back?"

"Because I'm older then you squirt."

"That's not fair!"

"Yeah, well...neither is this!" John said as he wrestled his brother into a headlock and ground his fist aggressively into the top of his skull while Henry squirmed and yelled and reached up to pull John's hair in an effort to get him to let go. John laughed despite the pain and moved instead to blow a raspberry against his little brother's cheek before letting him go. Henry indignantly wiped at the saliva left on his skin, narrowed his eyes, and charged at John, shoving him with a shoulder. John caught him and pushed back, reaching a hand down to tickle his brother's stomach when the boy refused to yield. Henry's footing faulted and he had to retreat. He threw a few half-assed punches and swipes at John, who deflected most of them with reflexes honed from years of play fighting.

They swiped and wrestled for a minute more, eventually ending as John picked his brother up about the middle and spun him around, both of them laughing. He hugged his little brother and planted a kiss where he'd earlier given him a noogie, then reluctantly let him go as he squirmed free. "Hey," he said, catching Henry's attention. "Did you really need me to show you were the grocery mart is?"

Henry looked over to Lafayette, and John followed his gaze to see his best friend leaned up against Thomas's truck, facing away from them. His brother looked back up at him and said, "You guys really shouldn't be so careless, John."

"It wasn't what you thought it was, Henry."

"If you weren't about to get some, what were you doing?"

John felt almost sick with how relieved he felt that his brother hadn't seen his scars. No one in his family knew how much pain he inflicted on himself and it was his honest to god intention to take that with him to the grave. "Okay, you're right," he said lowly, unable to come up with a better excuse. "I was gunna get some."

"Uh-huh," his brother replied as if the answer didn't impress him. "Well save it for the bedroom, or at least up put the windshield blind. Anyone could have seen you."

"We aren't in South Carolina, ya know," John replied. "People around here don't care as much if I'm gay."

"I told you, it's not the gay that bothers me. It's that people could see you, more specifically your dick. You think Dad would be happy to bail you out of jail for indecent exposure?"

"Okay, point taken," John replied, and he smirked at the way his brother swelled with the pride of being right. Even tho John knew it was a long shot he would have gotten arrested for showing Lafayette his cuts, he couldn't deny the twinge of fear he felt at hearing the young man's words. If he did get picked up for something like that he'd have a far harder time convincing their father it wasn't because of lewd activities. "I'll be more careful. Thanks, squirt."

Henry shrugged. "You're my brother. You look out for me from the front and I watch your back, that's all." He put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his feet for a minute. "I could use some directions to the nearest food mart tho. I can't find the Piggly Wiggly."

John rolled his eyes. "Did you only search for Piggly Wiggly?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because they don't have that here."

"Yeah, I know that, John. So what's the name of the food mart?"

"You can search your phone for 'grocery store,' and it will give you ALL the stores that fall under that category, dumbass."

"Really?" Henry pulled out his phone and spent a minute trying out John's advice. "Oh hey, that helps."

"You're welcome," John replied. "And don't spend all your food money on junk food. Buy some fruit at least."

"You're not our mother, John," Henry retorted, but smiled at him. "I'll go get out of your hair now." He nodded towards Lafayette and then looked back at John. "An y'all—"

"We'll be careful," John replied. "Go, get yourself gone." As his brother hurried off, John turned back to his best friend. He walked toward Lafayette and reached form his arm, not surprised at all when the French man turned to him with eyes brimming with tears. "Hey," he said. "Wanna talk?"

Lafayette shook his head and wiped at his eyes with his hand. "It is of no concern," he said.

"Bullshit," John replied. "It's bullshit that your mother won't let you have a relationship with your half siblings, Laf. They're your family; they should know who you are."

"Thank you, mon amie," Lafayette sniffled. "You are right. They should." He shrugged then as if it was of no consequence. "But then, how could they believe that I am their sibling when I look so different?"

"Who cares about that? They'd be so blessed to know you."

"I know. But unfortunately, my mother and her new husband care. I have to respect that. At least for two more months."

"What happens in two months?"

"The oldest turns 18. I intend to send her a letter. And, if her response is warm, I intend to meet with her upon my return to France in May." He gave John a small but hopeful smile.

"She'll want to meet you," John told him. "She'd have to be crazy not to want to meet you." He hugged his best friend and silently prayed that his own words weren't bullshit. Of course he knew there was a possibility Lafayette's mother would still forbid the meeting or even sabotage it by swaying her daughter with her own version of events, but of course that didn't mean John didn't think Lafayette should try. Martha was barely a year younger then him, and Henry was just over two years behind her. John couldn't even recall a time when he didn't have siblings, and he couldn't imagine what his life would be like without them. Quieter, he supposed. Looking up at Laf, he new it was dreadfully lonely.

They stood together for a moment, John offering comfort to the French man in the same ways he often tried to comfort John, with back rubs, hard squeezes and occasional kisses to his cheek.

"So," Thomas called and both John and Lafayette turned to see him sipping on an iced coffee. Behind him trailed Alex and a man John had never seen before. "What'd I miss?"

END CHAPTER