Spike and Willow sat together in companionable silence. It was a nice
feeling to know that you weren't being judged, that instead, possibly, you
were somewhat understood.
Loathe as he was to do it, Spike had to break the moment. He stood up.
"You're leaving?" Willow asked quietly.
"It's not that I want to, pet. But sunrise being not so far off dictates that I find cover and since I haven't been here in some time-"
"The crypt is still free, Clem's been watching it for you." She caught his look of surprise, "You still have a few friends around."
He smirked. "Few might be an overstatement."
"Better than none," she said noncommittally. "Mind if I walk with you?"
Spike shrugged and began walking, with Willow beside him. Finally, he spoke, "The Scoobies wouldn't desert you, Red."
"Desert me, no. But they treat me like they're afraid . . ." she sighed. "I think I might know how Buffy felt after she came back, both from L.A. and . . ."
Spike couldn't hide the twinge of pain that crossed his face at the mention of the Slayer.
"And you know what they're most afraid of? That I don't regret what I did."
"And you don't." It wasn't a question.
"What would it serve if I was? Aside from helping maintain their illusions of purity and innocence." She caught his startled look. "I've had a lot of time to mull things over, being all non-conversational for over four months. You would think that living on the Hellmouth and all that we have seen and been through that they wouldn't be so blind."
"Blind?" he questioned. He wanted to see how far her insight went.
"Take the 'all-good/all-evil' thing. It exists, but is very rare. They fail to realize that most of us fall in-between somewhere."
Spike snorted. How many times had he tried to get the Slayer to understand that?
"Like Buffy," she echoed his thoughts. "The Chosen One-The Slayer. Girl given powers to serve the good by putting down the evil. But technically, how is she really different from her 'enemy?' The only difference is which side she's on. Faith, in spite of all she did, at least understood that. It's a grey world. Look at you and me: Evil, soulless-vamp and goody-two- shoes, brainy human. Cut and dry which side the other is on, right?"
"Where were you about six months ago, Red?" he smiled, seeing that they were near his crypt.
"Still in a delusion," she smiled back.
Spike looked at the sky. "Guess I should be heading in."
"And I should be getting back before they start looking for me."
They stood there, unsure.
Finally, "Do you mind if I come by sometime?"
"Not so much. But don't feel obligated or anything."
"I like talking with you, Spike. So any obligation is merely selfish."
"Alright then," he said as they went their separate ways.
Willow was nearly out of sight, when she caught a faint, "Thank you."
Loathe as he was to do it, Spike had to break the moment. He stood up.
"You're leaving?" Willow asked quietly.
"It's not that I want to, pet. But sunrise being not so far off dictates that I find cover and since I haven't been here in some time-"
"The crypt is still free, Clem's been watching it for you." She caught his look of surprise, "You still have a few friends around."
He smirked. "Few might be an overstatement."
"Better than none," she said noncommittally. "Mind if I walk with you?"
Spike shrugged and began walking, with Willow beside him. Finally, he spoke, "The Scoobies wouldn't desert you, Red."
"Desert me, no. But they treat me like they're afraid . . ." she sighed. "I think I might know how Buffy felt after she came back, both from L.A. and . . ."
Spike couldn't hide the twinge of pain that crossed his face at the mention of the Slayer.
"And you know what they're most afraid of? That I don't regret what I did."
"And you don't." It wasn't a question.
"What would it serve if I was? Aside from helping maintain their illusions of purity and innocence." She caught his startled look. "I've had a lot of time to mull things over, being all non-conversational for over four months. You would think that living on the Hellmouth and all that we have seen and been through that they wouldn't be so blind."
"Blind?" he questioned. He wanted to see how far her insight went.
"Take the 'all-good/all-evil' thing. It exists, but is very rare. They fail to realize that most of us fall in-between somewhere."
Spike snorted. How many times had he tried to get the Slayer to understand that?
"Like Buffy," she echoed his thoughts. "The Chosen One-The Slayer. Girl given powers to serve the good by putting down the evil. But technically, how is she really different from her 'enemy?' The only difference is which side she's on. Faith, in spite of all she did, at least understood that. It's a grey world. Look at you and me: Evil, soulless-vamp and goody-two- shoes, brainy human. Cut and dry which side the other is on, right?"
"Where were you about six months ago, Red?" he smiled, seeing that they were near his crypt.
"Still in a delusion," she smiled back.
Spike looked at the sky. "Guess I should be heading in."
"And I should be getting back before they start looking for me."
They stood there, unsure.
Finally, "Do you mind if I come by sometime?"
"Not so much. But don't feel obligated or anything."
"I like talking with you, Spike. So any obligation is merely selfish."
"Alright then," he said as they went their separate ways.
Willow was nearly out of sight, when she caught a faint, "Thank you."