Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even the lent in my pockets. Oh, wait, I do own that. Still working on Legolas.

AN: Sorry it took so long for me to update this. I'm just lazy, I have no other excuse. Maybe if I get more reviews (hint, hint) I'll update sooner. :-)

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Chapter 2: The Many Wonders of Electronics

The fellowship stared in awe at the strange gadgets that filled the store.

"Wow!" exclaimed Pippin, "I wonder if they have pints."

They stared for about ten more minutes, then something clicked in their brains at the same time. They all jumped and ran in different directions. The first thing Legolas found was a computer (hehe). Once he had finally figured out how to use the keyboard and mouse, the pimply teenage Best Buy employee showed him how to use the internet.

"Thank you," said Legolas, "You might want to use Oxy on your pimples! It really works!" he called after the teenager. He glared at Legolas. "What?! I use it all the time and look at my perfect skin!" The teenager walked away shaking his head. "Oh well, I wonder if I'm on this internep thing." He slowly typed his name in the search box.

"L-E-G-O-L-A-S, enter. Hey, I did it! Wow, there are a lot of pictures of me! What the heck?! Who's Orlando Bloom? He's not half as good looking as me! Oh, what's this? Fanfiction.net? Hmmmm" (AN: God help us.)

He clicked on the first story listed. "Summary: Legolas and Elrond find their true feelings for each other. Warning: lotz and lotz of slash! I wonder what slash is. That doesn't sound right, but maybe they didn't mean for it to sound that way."

Legolas skipped to the chapter titled, "The X-rated chapter." He was in shock when he finished. He let out a high-pitched scream and fainted on the spot.

Meanwhile, Aragorn had found the video cameras. "What new devilry is this?!" he said as he went around the store filming people. "Oh well, it's quite entertaining. La la la la la la la la la la la la la. Smile Legolas!" Legolas lifted up his head, flashed a huge grin at the camera, and went right back to being unconscious.

"That was strange. Hey Sam! Come and look at this thing!"

"Okay, Mr. Strider."

"For the last time, call me Aragorn."

"Okay, Mr. Aragorn."

"No, just Aragorn."

"Okay, Mr. Just Aragorn."

"Ack! I give up! Just look though this tube."

"Ooohhh, I can see you! This is fun!" said Sam. But Aragorn looked distracted.

"NOOOOO! Run Sam, run! It's an orc!" Aragorn yelled, unsheathing his sword. Sam dove out of the way just as the deranged ranger stabbed the big screen TV that the camera was plugged into. "Damn it! He got away! I'll get you next time my pretty! And your little dog too! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ummm, Aragorn?

"What?!"

"That was you on the screen," Sam explained.

Crickets chirped in response.

"There they are! Seize them!" The manager was coming. "You'll have to pay for that!"

"Never!" cried Aragorn. Just then, something terrible happened. Aragorn let out his battle cry, which sounded like a mixture of yodeling and Tarzan. Everyone in the store covered their ears.

While Aragorn was busy fighting the store manager (Sam had wisely run away), Merry and Pippin were playing video games.

"Hey, I'm doing pretty good on this mission, quest, thing," exclaimed Pippin. However, his luck changed. "Oh, no! I died! Help me Merry! Let me end my short life in peace"

"Pip! You didn't really die, it's just a game." Merry explained.

"Oh, okay. Let's go have a pint, then."

Meanwhile

Sam found Frodo listening to rap, or to be more specific, Eminem. Frodo and Sam were now quoting along with the "music."

"May I have your attention please. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up."

"Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside." They got some strange stares from the other shoppers. After they were done with the rap music, the effect of which made them cuss a lot, even though they didn't know what half the words meant, they started playing with the walkie talkies.

"Can you hear me now? Good. Can you hear me now? Good." etc. Until Frodo stumbled upon the unconscious figure of Legolas. Frodo kicked him. Legolas woke up in time to see a rabid fangirl run into the next isle.

"Oh no! Frodo get Aragorn, Sam get Merry and Pippin! I'll get Gimli! Where the heck is he anyway?" Just then another fangirl ran by.

"Hurry! We don't have much time! AAHHHHHHH!" The fangirls spotted Legolas and let out their © Squeals of Death. (AN: I forgot. I do own the Squeals of Death)

Legolas ran for his life with the fangirls right behind him. He ducked under a table just in time and saw Gimli doing something unthinkable. He was watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarves' with a bunch of little kids.

"Come on, Gimli, we have to go."

"Just a minute, it's almost over"

"We're leaving NOW Gimli."

"But I wanna stay! WAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Legolas slapped him across the face which made him shut up.

"Pull yourself together, dwarf!"

"Make me, elf!"

"Okay." Legolas pulled out a poison arrow.

"Okay, I'm coming! Jeez."

"That's more like it."

They ran for the front entrance. Aragorn and the hobbits were already there. "Okay, let's go!"

"LEGGY!"

"ACK! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"Don't worry Legolas! I'll save you!" cried Aragorn. "Back you evil fiends!"

"Ahhhhhh! His hair is so greasy! Let's get out of here!" The fangirls were all extremely grossed out at Aragorn's greasy head, so they left to look for someone else to stalk.

"Whew, that was close." said Pippin again.

"I wonder where Gandalf is." said Gimli. "He usually shows up by this time in the story."

"Maybe he's in there," said Merry, pointing to a building with a lot of lights and a sign reading Dance Club.'

AN: You like, you buy? Well, you can't buy it, but you can review it! What a concept! Okay, I'll go stare at my new Legolas poster now. Teeheehee.