Disclaimer:
I don't own anything about this game (apart from one copy of the game sitting by my PS2)
This is my own original creation- do not copy!
No offense or liable intended- don't sue.
It's Time For Tonights Feature Presentation:
It's a Busty McHooters adaptation of the hit PS2 game Last Imagination 10 (patent pending)
This story features scenes of violence, strong language and images of a sexual nature, also it's crap,
ergo (that's how you spell it) you shouldn't read it!!
The story starts in the highly advanced city of Kilkenny, where the milk flows freely and the sheep are cheap ;)
The fantastical city even has its own stadium for the traditional game of Zarkball.
Zarkball is a simple sport played inside a giant testical filled with water.
The rules are easy enough; If you score a Zark you get three Geopoints and those points can be converted into
Killoquats and for each Killoquat you get an extra Theora. If you get a Zark within the enemies designated area
you can convert directly to blah blah blah bllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh biddy blah
That's how simple it is to play Blitz...whoops I mean Zarkball.
Our main character can now be seen exiting the stadium with lots of fans screaming his name:
Fans: TITTY!!!! TITTY!!!! Can I've an autograph Titty.
Titty: It's Teedus you idiots! I mean of course you can.
Titty makes his way through the crowds and we join him later on after another game of Zarkball.
That IS all they do in Kilkenny, what else would he do?
However! ....dramatic pause..... during the game a strange creature attacks the city of Kilkenny.
Thousands of people are being killed but the music being played over the attack doesn't seem to fit...
OR DOES IT!
Britney: I'm not a girl! Not yet a woman! All I need is time, a moment that is mine.
While I'm in between.
As she's singing we see the blasts of the creature destroy the city and then they even hit poor little Britney.
She's blown up in the air and flies away into distance screaming.
Britney: THEY'RE REal i swear... (and she's gone)
We then go back to Titty and see that somehow he's managed not to be killed like EVERYONE else
(well, he is a main character.)
He then bumps into another person, whom he seems to recognise.
Titty: Mauron, what are you doing here.
Mauron: Titty, this is your story. We must leave at dawn.
Titty: It's Tee.. forget it. Anyway, shhhh, we're supposed to pretend it's real not a story. You're not doing it right!
Mauron: Take this stupid looking sword. (gives it to him) We must go battle your father.. whoops forget that...
I mean we have to fight the She-man.
Titty: Okaaaayyyyyy. You're a bit cryptic aren't you? And take your face out of ur coat- I can barely hear you.
Did anyone ever tell the She-man that it looks a bit like a big fanny. Teehee. Wait is that a......
BOSS BATTLE:
She-man's Penis, HP: 5,000
MP: 20
Items: Magical clear fluid (smells a bit funny and tastes like fish)
After the Boss battle things get really nuts (get it nuts, penis hhahahaha-sorry)
Mauron: You must enter the Vagina! This is where ur story begins.
Titty grins at the camera then looks back at Mauron.
Titty: This isn't a porn story so what are you talking abou..... (Mauron throws Titty into the big 'opening' in She-man.)
Titty wakes up in a big scary place and lots of boring shite happens but then we meet up with the hated race of the Germans.
Their language is the EXACT same as Titty's but he can't understand them because they've cleverly mixed up all the letters
in their alphabet. Dumbasses.
German 1: Komm Jetzt!!! Wir gehen. Komm! Wir wollen dich helfen! (talking to Titty)
Titty: What? I don't understand you so you must be evil... or something.
(German 2 smacks him over the head and knocks him out with his weapon)
German 2: (looking at his friends) Was? Er hatte eine Fliege auf seinem Kopf.
The Germans take Titty to their ship. Lots more boring shit happens and Titty meets the hot German- Fuckuu
Titty: So Fuckuu, you speaka the english.
Fuckuu: Don't be an idiot. Oh wait, you're so stupid you must have been infected by She-man.
Titty: Yeah. That MUST be it. Anyhoo, where am I?
Fuckuu: You are in Queera. 10,000 years from ur past.
Titty: How did you know I was from the past?
Fuckuu: Yeah that doesn't make sense does it? Well, let's call it female intuition. Now, get on ur knees for an old
fashioned German spanking my new sex slave!!!
Fuckuu takes out a whip and a bottle of lube.
Fuckuu: Fuckuu is going to fuck u up good! Ve vill hav ze gud time ja?
Then suddenly....another dramatic pause....She-man attacks out of the ocean and yet again Titty wakes up in a
different place and meets some more people and never once tells them his name.
Wakker: hey man, you wanna be my friend ya? I have nobody else cos me brother Chappu died and ya look a
bit like him, ya.
Titty: Eh, okkkaaaaayyyy. I was infected by She-man so I'm a bit wierd okay?
Wakker: Ya man, ya look a bit wierd!
Titty: Whaddya mean wierd!? Never mind. Anyway, do you know how to get to Kilkenny from here?
Wakker: Wow man. Kilkenny was destroyed 10,000 years ago and ....blah blah boring snore.
So, don't tell anyone that kay?
Gatta: Hey Wakker, off?
Wakker: Ya. We're headin' back to da village. Come on man lets go the swimming way so we can fight some sharks ya?
Titty: Whatever. I have this stupid looking sword anyway.
Titty and Wakker go back to the city and after Titty looks around and some more stuff happens Titty goes into the temple.
Temple Dude 1: Welcome to the temple of Be-gayed. We vow to fight eternally against the transvestite powers of She-man.
Titty: Yeah fine whatever. Why the heck does Wakker sound like he's from Jamaika and the rest of you sound normal?
Wow! Who's that with the big...
Wakker: Titty!
Titty: Exactly.
Wakker: Oh her- that's Tutu. We've been friends for years and I've never once tried it on because I like..... Zarkball. Yeah
That's right.
As Tutu walks past we hear the Hymn of the Fayth in the back ground. The Hymn sounds strangely like Kylie Miongue
singing 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head'.
"Hi, I'm Luna the apprentice Summoner. I'm trying to gain the power to summon the Final Gayon to defeat She-man."
Titty: Good for you. I'm going to follow the woman with the big melons. (all the time staring at Tutu as she buys melons
from a merchant)
Wakker: Luna, we must accompany you into the Chamber of Piles where you can get your first Gay-on and become a
summoner like your father before you.
Luna: Way to summarize Wakker!
Luna, Wakker, Tutu and Titty go into the temple and Luna approaches the priest, as Kylie plays in the background.
Then all of them except Titty clutch their groins and moan orgasmically.
Titty: What in the name of Zarkball are you doing? (whispers to Wakker)
Wakker: It's the holy salute to Kevin. He was the straightest person in the world and he fought against gayness wherever
he went and founded our religion fighting She-man. Now we use the fayth to get the gay-ons and fight anything
gay or transvestite in an effort to overcome She-man.
Titty: So, basically you're all a bunch of close-minded homophobes!
Tutu: Yep.
Titty: Grand. Let's get this gay-on.
After numerous puzzles and boring interludes Titty finally realises that there's a big blue ape standing behind him.
Titty: What the fuck!
Tutu: Oh that's Larry. He doesn't talk much and he'll eat the face off you if you mention his skin condition.
Luna emerges and everyone makes their way outside the temple again, where all the town folks await and she tells them that
she is now a summoner. She then bends over exposing her arse and farts out her new gay-on. An insane flying monkey jumps
out and she pets it and the town folk all cheer.
Titty: Okay. That was possibly the stupidest thing that I've ever seen!
Tutu: Luna was 'probed' inside the temple to see if she was 'worthy'. Once Luna reaches the peak of her praying (remember
how they pray) a gay-on is given to her. The gay-on lives inside your rectum and Luna can call it forth at any time.
Titty: Why the fuck does it live in your rectum.
Tutu: Not MY rectum, HER rectum- keep up! Anyway, where else would you put it? If you put it in your brain you'll just
lose your memory and that would be stupid wouldn't it?
Titty: Good point.
Suddenly Mauron appears behind a bush and walks over to the others.
Mauron: Hello, I've gotten my arm stuck in my jumper can anyone help me?
After Luna sucks up to him and Titty tries to beat him up for getting him stuck here they decide that they must proceed on
Luna's pilgimage to defeat She-man and get Titty home.
Mauron: We leave at dawn. Get some rest and be prepared!
Wakker: Sir Mauron it is morning and we're already on the boat.
Mauron: Very good. Your instincts are stong and you need that to be a guardian.
Titty: So, why are you here anyway?
Mauron: I am
Titty: Did you say UNSENT?
Mauron: No of course not- that would make no sense! I said I'm bent.
She-man made me gay but I must not be straightened by Luna 'til I've defeated She-man.
Titty: Right. Whatever. Are we there yet!!??
NO. THEY ARE NOT YET THERE. WILL THEY EVER GET THERE? WILL THEY DEFEAT SHE-MAN?
WILL THEY EXCEPT HOMOSEXUALS AS HUMANS TOO? WILL I FIND THE CAPS-LOCK BUTTON?
TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT!
OH- there it is!
Disclaimer:
I know it was terrible and I'm sorry but you forced me to do it. So, it's your fault!
Bin Brian Enterprises concludes this feature presentation.
All Rights Reserved.
Written by Busty McHooters.
I don't own anything about this game (apart from one copy of the game sitting by my PS2)
This is my own original creation- do not copy!
No offense or liable intended- don't sue.
It's Time For Tonights Feature Presentation:
It's a Busty McHooters adaptation of the hit PS2 game Last Imagination 10 (patent pending)
This story features scenes of violence, strong language and images of a sexual nature, also it's crap,
ergo (that's how you spell it) you shouldn't read it!!
The story starts in the highly advanced city of Kilkenny, where the milk flows freely and the sheep are cheap ;)
The fantastical city even has its own stadium for the traditional game of Zarkball.
Zarkball is a simple sport played inside a giant testical filled with water.
The rules are easy enough; If you score a Zark you get three Geopoints and those points can be converted into
Killoquats and for each Killoquat you get an extra Theora. If you get a Zark within the enemies designated area
you can convert directly to blah blah blah bllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh biddy blah
That's how simple it is to play Blitz...whoops I mean Zarkball.
Our main character can now be seen exiting the stadium with lots of fans screaming his name:
Fans: TITTY!!!! TITTY!!!! Can I've an autograph Titty.
Titty: It's Teedus you idiots! I mean of course you can.
Titty makes his way through the crowds and we join him later on after another game of Zarkball.
That IS all they do in Kilkenny, what else would he do?
However! ....dramatic pause..... during the game a strange creature attacks the city of Kilkenny.
Thousands of people are being killed but the music being played over the attack doesn't seem to fit...
OR DOES IT!
Britney: I'm not a girl! Not yet a woman! All I need is time, a moment that is mine.
While I'm in between.
As she's singing we see the blasts of the creature destroy the city and then they even hit poor little Britney.
She's blown up in the air and flies away into distance screaming.
Britney: THEY'RE REal i swear... (and she's gone)
We then go back to Titty and see that somehow he's managed not to be killed like EVERYONE else
(well, he is a main character.)
He then bumps into another person, whom he seems to recognise.
Titty: Mauron, what are you doing here.
Mauron: Titty, this is your story. We must leave at dawn.
Titty: It's Tee.. forget it. Anyway, shhhh, we're supposed to pretend it's real not a story. You're not doing it right!
Mauron: Take this stupid looking sword. (gives it to him) We must go battle your father.. whoops forget that...
I mean we have to fight the She-man.
Titty: Okaaaayyyyyy. You're a bit cryptic aren't you? And take your face out of ur coat- I can barely hear you.
Did anyone ever tell the She-man that it looks a bit like a big fanny. Teehee. Wait is that a......
BOSS BATTLE:
She-man's Penis, HP: 5,000
MP: 20
Items: Magical clear fluid (smells a bit funny and tastes like fish)
After the Boss battle things get really nuts (get it nuts, penis hhahahaha-sorry)
Mauron: You must enter the Vagina! This is where ur story begins.
Titty grins at the camera then looks back at Mauron.
Titty: This isn't a porn story so what are you talking abou..... (Mauron throws Titty into the big 'opening' in She-man.)
Titty wakes up in a big scary place and lots of boring shite happens but then we meet up with the hated race of the Germans.
Their language is the EXACT same as Titty's but he can't understand them because they've cleverly mixed up all the letters
in their alphabet. Dumbasses.
German 1: Komm Jetzt!!! Wir gehen. Komm! Wir wollen dich helfen! (talking to Titty)
Titty: What? I don't understand you so you must be evil... or something.
(German 2 smacks him over the head and knocks him out with his weapon)
German 2: (looking at his friends) Was? Er hatte eine Fliege auf seinem Kopf.
The Germans take Titty to their ship. Lots more boring shit happens and Titty meets the hot German- Fuckuu
Titty: So Fuckuu, you speaka the english.
Fuckuu: Don't be an idiot. Oh wait, you're so stupid you must have been infected by She-man.
Titty: Yeah. That MUST be it. Anyhoo, where am I?
Fuckuu: You are in Queera. 10,000 years from ur past.
Titty: How did you know I was from the past?
Fuckuu: Yeah that doesn't make sense does it? Well, let's call it female intuition. Now, get on ur knees for an old
fashioned German spanking my new sex slave!!!
Fuckuu takes out a whip and a bottle of lube.
Fuckuu: Fuckuu is going to fuck u up good! Ve vill hav ze gud time ja?
Then suddenly....another dramatic pause....She-man attacks out of the ocean and yet again Titty wakes up in a
different place and meets some more people and never once tells them his name.
Wakker: hey man, you wanna be my friend ya? I have nobody else cos me brother Chappu died and ya look a
bit like him, ya.
Titty: Eh, okkkaaaaayyyy. I was infected by She-man so I'm a bit wierd okay?
Wakker: Ya man, ya look a bit wierd!
Titty: Whaddya mean wierd!? Never mind. Anyway, do you know how to get to Kilkenny from here?
Wakker: Wow man. Kilkenny was destroyed 10,000 years ago and ....blah blah boring snore.
So, don't tell anyone that kay?
Gatta: Hey Wakker, off?
Wakker: Ya. We're headin' back to da village. Come on man lets go the swimming way so we can fight some sharks ya?
Titty: Whatever. I have this stupid looking sword anyway.
Titty and Wakker go back to the city and after Titty looks around and some more stuff happens Titty goes into the temple.
Temple Dude 1: Welcome to the temple of Be-gayed. We vow to fight eternally against the transvestite powers of She-man.
Titty: Yeah fine whatever. Why the heck does Wakker sound like he's from Jamaika and the rest of you sound normal?
Wow! Who's that with the big...
Wakker: Titty!
Titty: Exactly.
Wakker: Oh her- that's Tutu. We've been friends for years and I've never once tried it on because I like..... Zarkball. Yeah
That's right.
As Tutu walks past we hear the Hymn of the Fayth in the back ground. The Hymn sounds strangely like Kylie Miongue
singing 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head'.
"Hi, I'm Luna the apprentice Summoner. I'm trying to gain the power to summon the Final Gayon to defeat She-man."
Titty: Good for you. I'm going to follow the woman with the big melons. (all the time staring at Tutu as she buys melons
from a merchant)
Wakker: Luna, we must accompany you into the Chamber of Piles where you can get your first Gay-on and become a
summoner like your father before you.
Luna: Way to summarize Wakker!
Luna, Wakker, Tutu and Titty go into the temple and Luna approaches the priest, as Kylie plays in the background.
Then all of them except Titty clutch their groins and moan orgasmically.
Titty: What in the name of Zarkball are you doing? (whispers to Wakker)
Wakker: It's the holy salute to Kevin. He was the straightest person in the world and he fought against gayness wherever
he went and founded our religion fighting She-man. Now we use the fayth to get the gay-ons and fight anything
gay or transvestite in an effort to overcome She-man.
Titty: So, basically you're all a bunch of close-minded homophobes!
Tutu: Yep.
Titty: Grand. Let's get this gay-on.
After numerous puzzles and boring interludes Titty finally realises that there's a big blue ape standing behind him.
Titty: What the fuck!
Tutu: Oh that's Larry. He doesn't talk much and he'll eat the face off you if you mention his skin condition.
Luna emerges and everyone makes their way outside the temple again, where all the town folks await and she tells them that
she is now a summoner. She then bends over exposing her arse and farts out her new gay-on. An insane flying monkey jumps
out and she pets it and the town folk all cheer.
Titty: Okay. That was possibly the stupidest thing that I've ever seen!
Tutu: Luna was 'probed' inside the temple to see if she was 'worthy'. Once Luna reaches the peak of her praying (remember
how they pray) a gay-on is given to her. The gay-on lives inside your rectum and Luna can call it forth at any time.
Titty: Why the fuck does it live in your rectum.
Tutu: Not MY rectum, HER rectum- keep up! Anyway, where else would you put it? If you put it in your brain you'll just
lose your memory and that would be stupid wouldn't it?
Titty: Good point.
Suddenly Mauron appears behind a bush and walks over to the others.
Mauron: Hello, I've gotten my arm stuck in my jumper can anyone help me?
After Luna sucks up to him and Titty tries to beat him up for getting him stuck here they decide that they must proceed on
Luna's pilgimage to defeat She-man and get Titty home.
Mauron: We leave at dawn. Get some rest and be prepared!
Wakker: Sir Mauron it is morning and we're already on the boat.
Mauron: Very good. Your instincts are stong and you need that to be a guardian.
Titty: So, why are you here anyway?
Mauron: I am
Titty: Did you say UNSENT?
Mauron: No of course not- that would make no sense! I said I'm bent.
She-man made me gay but I must not be straightened by Luna 'til I've defeated She-man.
Titty: Right. Whatever. Are we there yet!!??
NO. THEY ARE NOT YET THERE. WILL THEY EVER GET THERE? WILL THEY DEFEAT SHE-MAN?
WILL THEY EXCEPT HOMOSEXUALS AS HUMANS TOO? WILL I FIND THE CAPS-LOCK BUTTON?
TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT!
OH- there it is!
Disclaimer:
I know it was terrible and I'm sorry but you forced me to do it. So, it's your fault!
Bin Brian Enterprises concludes this feature presentation.
All Rights Reserved.
Written by Busty McHooters.