The Search for Lady Star's Hair Clip
It was a bright day, with a full moon shining through the ceiling on the Head Council Chambers in the Hidden Halls of the Elven Jedi Warriors. Running hither and thither and all around inside were the poor disgruntled Head Council Members, searching frantically for their great leader, Lady Star's favorite baby-blue hair clip.
"Don't worry about it you guys really!" She said, sitting on her large Pink Beanbag chair/throne. "Really my friends, I have hundreds." And to think, all this time you thought Jedi were only suppose to own the clothes on their backs.
"Eh, we're immortal Lady." Said Lóst, the Guardian of the Council, "We need something to do!"
And so, frantically they searched. Running hither and thither through the forest of the Head Council Chambers. Periodically one would hear the thud of an elf banging into a tree. It was almost as if they had money on it, as if the first one to find it got two grand. Nah! *the narrator said, his pockets bulging with the pot* I hope I find it! ::he takes off running.::
And now I the real narrator take charge. That was Lord Secret, 2nd in Charge of the Council, Apprentice to Lady Star, and overall nut. Well, Lady obviously wasn't worried, and the others were obviously bored, and I am obviously feeling wordy, so I will describe the events that lead up to the misplacement of the Hair-Clip of Lady Star.
Well, she walked out that morning from behind the waterfall, cranky at having stubbed her toe on bed which she didn't sleep in normally, except for on certain types of occasions. When she took the boat down-stream to the ring of Head Council Beanbags and sat in her big pink squishy throne she noticed that something was wrong with her hair. It was missing the clip she normally wore on crankier occasions to cheer herself up. She had thought she put her hair-clip on before leaving her room. She was sure of it. But now, it was missing, and she was starting to feel slightly cranky. What was she to do?!?!
When asked about her unusual crankiness by Lord Secret the nut she blurted about the missing clip, and then the race was on to find it. Of course, betting was involved with the whole ordeal and the Head Council was then nuts to find it. Meanwhile, Lady Star remained seated, disgruntled by the council's strange gambling problem and frantic behavior. All that being on top of her stubbed toe because of her naffing bed!
Occasionally a council member such as Angie the Terror would cry out, "I got the clip!"
But alas, every time she cried out those words it was only one of the following objects: A twig, a rock, a snail, a gopher, a pollywog, a small hobbit she held up by his furry foot which she mistook for a gopher, and a Sindarin-Elven-Prince named Legolas who she kept for herself, and fought off numerous other She-Elves to keep in her possession. In the end it was a draw between her and her friend Melissa the Spy and they decided to share the poor elf, much to the pleasure of Legolas. Sadly, this too was much to the disgruntlement of Lady Star, whose toe had developed a small red mark, and red was a color much to her displeasure!
In the meantime, while all the craziness was taking place Lady Star settled into her large squashy Pink Beanbag Throne and took out "Seventeen-Hundred Magazine", listened to her CD player, and gingerly did her toes taking special care not to hurt the stubbed one more than it already was. Oh the pain of being in the limelight constantly, 1.) The light emitted by the limestone was rather paling to the skin, and 2.) One had to look good all the time. Eventually Arwen, (Yes, the even-star of her people and yada yada yada…) came over with some popcorn, and together they chatted about cute Elven boys they had seen in the past century.
Well, Katra, the head of investigations was soon hot on the trail of the lost hair-clip. He had narrowed down the search by determining that the clip was not in his pocket, nor his hands, and was quickly moving on to see where else it wasn't.
Lóst, guardian of the council had done the smart thing like Arwen and joined her and Lady Star in their gossip. Melissa and Angie eventually dragged Legolas over and together the five girls grilled him about life in the Mirk-Wood and just what exactly the girls there were wearing these days. The thought never occurred to them to wonder why he got there, but under Lady Star's scrupulous gaze he finally admitted he was borrowing some Nair, he having run out many moons ago.
Well, Diva, the Elven Jedi Queen had left two days ago to return to her people for a time and had just reached the front entrance, having taken her time moving along the ten mile long Main Hall, as was her queenly fashion.
Well, eventually Callie, the Head of Negotiations; the one they called Elbereth due to her wearing of the maybellene make-up which made her glow; came over after Lady Star recited the poem they used to summon her.
A Elbereth, Get-Over-Here,
You dumb clown, I need you near,
Who's that Elf-Boy over there,
With the hair so long and fair?
"Two things Lady Star!" Callie hissed, "One, I AM NOT A CLOWN! Just because I wear a bit of make-up does not make me one!"
Just then a UPS guy arrived with a large drum of eyeshadow and asked her to sign for it. The most embarrassing part for poor Callie was when he asked her if she wanted the free putty knife one got when they ordered such large weekly deliveries.
After the delivery man left she turned back to the group and continued. "Two! He is Prince Legolas, also known as Shaved-Leg-O'-Lass." She added, eyeing his bare legs. He wore no stockings beneath his tunic. "MINE!" She exclaimed diving at him. Sadly, there was much confusion and in the end Lady Star stubbed her toe a second time, and her wrath made them all, even Legolas, decide to continue on with the search.
Elémental, head of the guard kept a perimeter around the beanbag chairs and watched out for other toe-stubbing beasts. Shat wandered around the hall threatening various trees as was the way of the Head of Protection.
Well, Heír the head of Lore tried a searching spell to find Lady's lost Hair-Clip, but there was a magic resistant force blocking the spell. This was most boggling to the Council members. Tina tried to say that such a spell blocking force was against canon, but was abruptly quieted when Elija tried to Ni the clip out into the open. She was soon quieted by the moron of an arms master, and Rowana remembered something she once read in a history book.
"I've got it!" She exclaimed, remembering one of her many boring and rambling books, which this story is now in. "Lord Secret had the beanbag chairs protected with a force and spell blocking spray when I informed him that constant sensing lead to spontaneous combustion. So, the clip must be underneath Lady Star!" And, when they checked, lo and behold the clip was there. Lady Star wore her baby-blue clip, her calm was returned, and Rowana got the two-grand.
And all were glad, even Lord Secret the nut, who was the one who hid the clip in the first place for an excuse to gamble on its whereabouts. He would have one the bet, had he not forgotten where he put the clip. And so, this ends The Search for Lady Star's Hair Clip. Soon to come: A real Elven Jedi fan-fiction and not something completely 100% ridiculous and pointless.
It was a bright day, with a full moon shining through the ceiling on the Head Council Chambers in the Hidden Halls of the Elven Jedi Warriors. Running hither and thither and all around inside were the poor disgruntled Head Council Members, searching frantically for their great leader, Lady Star's favorite baby-blue hair clip.
"Don't worry about it you guys really!" She said, sitting on her large Pink Beanbag chair/throne. "Really my friends, I have hundreds." And to think, all this time you thought Jedi were only suppose to own the clothes on their backs.
"Eh, we're immortal Lady." Said Lóst, the Guardian of the Council, "We need something to do!"
And so, frantically they searched. Running hither and thither through the forest of the Head Council Chambers. Periodically one would hear the thud of an elf banging into a tree. It was almost as if they had money on it, as if the first one to find it got two grand. Nah! *the narrator said, his pockets bulging with the pot* I hope I find it! ::he takes off running.::
And now I the real narrator take charge. That was Lord Secret, 2nd in Charge of the Council, Apprentice to Lady Star, and overall nut. Well, Lady obviously wasn't worried, and the others were obviously bored, and I am obviously feeling wordy, so I will describe the events that lead up to the misplacement of the Hair-Clip of Lady Star.
Well, she walked out that morning from behind the waterfall, cranky at having stubbed her toe on bed which she didn't sleep in normally, except for on certain types of occasions. When she took the boat down-stream to the ring of Head Council Beanbags and sat in her big pink squishy throne she noticed that something was wrong with her hair. It was missing the clip she normally wore on crankier occasions to cheer herself up. She had thought she put her hair-clip on before leaving her room. She was sure of it. But now, it was missing, and she was starting to feel slightly cranky. What was she to do?!?!
When asked about her unusual crankiness by Lord Secret the nut she blurted about the missing clip, and then the race was on to find it. Of course, betting was involved with the whole ordeal and the Head Council was then nuts to find it. Meanwhile, Lady Star remained seated, disgruntled by the council's strange gambling problem and frantic behavior. All that being on top of her stubbed toe because of her naffing bed!
Occasionally a council member such as Angie the Terror would cry out, "I got the clip!"
But alas, every time she cried out those words it was only one of the following objects: A twig, a rock, a snail, a gopher, a pollywog, a small hobbit she held up by his furry foot which she mistook for a gopher, and a Sindarin-Elven-Prince named Legolas who she kept for herself, and fought off numerous other She-Elves to keep in her possession. In the end it was a draw between her and her friend Melissa the Spy and they decided to share the poor elf, much to the pleasure of Legolas. Sadly, this too was much to the disgruntlement of Lady Star, whose toe had developed a small red mark, and red was a color much to her displeasure!
In the meantime, while all the craziness was taking place Lady Star settled into her large squashy Pink Beanbag Throne and took out "Seventeen-Hundred Magazine", listened to her CD player, and gingerly did her toes taking special care not to hurt the stubbed one more than it already was. Oh the pain of being in the limelight constantly, 1.) The light emitted by the limestone was rather paling to the skin, and 2.) One had to look good all the time. Eventually Arwen, (Yes, the even-star of her people and yada yada yada…) came over with some popcorn, and together they chatted about cute Elven boys they had seen in the past century.
Well, Katra, the head of investigations was soon hot on the trail of the lost hair-clip. He had narrowed down the search by determining that the clip was not in his pocket, nor his hands, and was quickly moving on to see where else it wasn't.
Lóst, guardian of the council had done the smart thing like Arwen and joined her and Lady Star in their gossip. Melissa and Angie eventually dragged Legolas over and together the five girls grilled him about life in the Mirk-Wood and just what exactly the girls there were wearing these days. The thought never occurred to them to wonder why he got there, but under Lady Star's scrupulous gaze he finally admitted he was borrowing some Nair, he having run out many moons ago.
Well, Diva, the Elven Jedi Queen had left two days ago to return to her people for a time and had just reached the front entrance, having taken her time moving along the ten mile long Main Hall, as was her queenly fashion.
Well, eventually Callie, the Head of Negotiations; the one they called Elbereth due to her wearing of the maybellene make-up which made her glow; came over after Lady Star recited the poem they used to summon her.
A Elbereth, Get-Over-Here,
You dumb clown, I need you near,
Who's that Elf-Boy over there,
With the hair so long and fair?
"Two things Lady Star!" Callie hissed, "One, I AM NOT A CLOWN! Just because I wear a bit of make-up does not make me one!"
Just then a UPS guy arrived with a large drum of eyeshadow and asked her to sign for it. The most embarrassing part for poor Callie was when he asked her if she wanted the free putty knife one got when they ordered such large weekly deliveries.
After the delivery man left she turned back to the group and continued. "Two! He is Prince Legolas, also known as Shaved-Leg-O'-Lass." She added, eyeing his bare legs. He wore no stockings beneath his tunic. "MINE!" She exclaimed diving at him. Sadly, there was much confusion and in the end Lady Star stubbed her toe a second time, and her wrath made them all, even Legolas, decide to continue on with the search.
Elémental, head of the guard kept a perimeter around the beanbag chairs and watched out for other toe-stubbing beasts. Shat wandered around the hall threatening various trees as was the way of the Head of Protection.
Well, Heír the head of Lore tried a searching spell to find Lady's lost Hair-Clip, but there was a magic resistant force blocking the spell. This was most boggling to the Council members. Tina tried to say that such a spell blocking force was against canon, but was abruptly quieted when Elija tried to Ni the clip out into the open. She was soon quieted by the moron of an arms master, and Rowana remembered something she once read in a history book.
"I've got it!" She exclaimed, remembering one of her many boring and rambling books, which this story is now in. "Lord Secret had the beanbag chairs protected with a force and spell blocking spray when I informed him that constant sensing lead to spontaneous combustion. So, the clip must be underneath Lady Star!" And, when they checked, lo and behold the clip was there. Lady Star wore her baby-blue clip, her calm was returned, and Rowana got the two-grand.
And all were glad, even Lord Secret the nut, who was the one who hid the clip in the first place for an excuse to gamble on its whereabouts. He would have one the bet, had he not forgotten where he put the clip. And so, this ends The Search for Lady Star's Hair Clip. Soon to come: A real Elven Jedi fan-fiction and not something completely 100% ridiculous and pointless.