Lady Star wasn't quite sure why she was leaving, she just knew she
had to. After all, it wasn't really proper for a Lady of the Jedi, such as
herself to confess her love to someone and then just take off, possibly
never to return.
The portal was safe, that she was sure of. It was composed of the strongest magics and charms she and Lord Secret could come up with, and as well as the best known to Lord Secret's tree. Yes, tree. Those further along in the master of force manipulation can use it to communicate with other creatures and living things.
A tree really was the perfect candidate for a Jedi Master, Elven or not. It was always at peace and harmony with the world around it. At least, it had better be. When one can not easily move from place to place it is best not to anger one's neighbors. This was the reason why Lady Star decided to go see him before she left.
After bringing her bag out to the Head Council Circle, she just casually happened to notice that they were fighting like maniacs. Debating over who should go, and why Lady Star shouldn't go, and where to send the portal. Lord Secret simply slumped into his plaid beanbag chair/throne and began to meditate. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately, she didn't know why.
She decided to slip back past the waterfall without any one noticing, especially Lord Secret, since it was his room and his friend whom she wanted to meet with privately. She sneaked back down to the boat, climbed in, and tried getting it to move through the water. It didn't budge.
She was the most power and skilled Elven Jedi in all of Arda, and she couldn't move a dinky little boat up a stream?! Lord Secret did it all the time, seemingly effortlessly. She then remembered that it was always him who moved the boat. She had never attempted to go to her chambers without him escorting her. Due to this she now had no clue how to move the boat.
"Do not try to move the boat, you cannot." Came the thought in the back of her mind, "Move the water around the boat instead." She tried doing this and low and behold it moved effortlessly. There must have been an enchantment on the boat to keep it from moving from the water where it was first placed. With that in mind how stagnant was that water? That was the last time she splashed her hand in the water along the side of the boat!
"This isn't the East River Lady Star," came on of those weird thoughts again, "You won't spontaneously combust just from touching the water." Now she was sure she didn't think that! It must be some outside consciousness linked with her mind. "On the nose." Came the annoying voice/thought. "Or knothole, whichever you prefer."
"Tree!" She muttered out loud.
"You were expecting Mr. Rodgers? Let me tell you it may be a beautiful day in my neighborhood but I am not some old two-bit actor who specializes in tying shoes, buttoning and unbuttoning sweaters, and brainwashing young Human children!"
"Wow" Thought Lady, "He rambles just as much if not more than Lord Secret!"
"I heard that!"
It was then that Lady Star decided to guard her thoughts more carefully, especially with this tree around. "Can anyone say 'Chainsaw?'" She thought just to annoy him. It seemed like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
"Yeah that's what you think!" Came Tree's noxious voice/thought. "I've been around for 2000 plus years and you haven't bothered to just stop by and see me! As Ricky would say, "Lucy, you gotta lot of 'splainen to do!" And if you're lucky I won't add the backhand across the face!"
Lady Star simply smiled again and thought, "Chainsaw."
It was the first time she had ever dared enter the private chambers of Lord Secret, which was somewhat odd seeming as how they had been neighbors for well over a millennia, going on two. She approached to door, turned the knob, swung it open, and the sight amazed her.
The first thing she saw was a large, nearly 2000 year old tree trunk right in front of her face. On it she saw stairs going up to a talan, with several others further up. She went over to the stairs and read the sign:
"GALADRIEL, EAT YOUR HEART OUT!"
Lady Star sighed a deep sigh. "He would have to put something like that there wouldn't he."
Climbing her way up and around the huge tree, Lady Star noticed that there was no roof on the room, merely a tall wall around the edges of the floor. "We try so hard to maintain secrecy and he goes and pulls a stunt like this!" She snarled, angry about the loss of privacy.
"Oh please!" Came Tree's annoying voice in her head. "Do you think anyone could get past me? I am an Elven Jedi master and all. I can handle George Lucas or Tolkein themselves!"
Hearing these names mentioned within her halls annoyed Lady Star to the point of taking a leaf out of a beaver's book and chewing wood. Thankfully she restrained herself, and merely climbed higher.
Everything was finely carved and decorated. It seemed Lord Secret was a talented handyman. She noticed a large throne-like chair on one talan and lost it. "HE CARVES NICE FURNITURE FOR HIMSELF AND HE STICKS US WITH BEAN- BAG CHAIRS FROM E-BAY!" She screamed totally pissed.
"Sit on it!" Came Tree's voice in her mind. At first from the tone she thought it an insult from the show Happy Day's. But, upon sitting on the chair she realized why he provided them with squashy beanbags instead of thrones. Upon sitting, she realized she would soon be in desperate need of a chiropractor if she sat there too long. "That's right! Now for that remark I'll only speak to you while your sitting in that chair." Tree said smugly.
It was then that Lady Star had another realization; this was a truly evil tree! "Actually a Maple/Pine Hybrid, but you were close." Came his annoying voice, de-railing her train of thought. Another evil deed upon the part of this tree! "Now what troubles you milady?" Tree asked, and she would have thought him concerned had he not forced her to sit in this gosh-awful chair! She'd never get this horrible crick in her back out!
"I am -ugh!- try to figure out why -oof!- I am trying to leave, AH THE PAIN!, the Hidden Halls after I just confessed something seemingly hidden to-naffingly evil chair!- seek out another world." She finished her sentence through all the pain the chair was inflicting upon her spine. She envisioned a truck full of Round-Up Weed Killer pouring itself on tree.
"Alright, you don't have to sit in the chair." Tree said, obviously worried about the vision. "Lord Secret only keeps it there as a booby trap for pudding-sneaking gremlins. They like to bath in it you see."
Of course Lady Star didn't hear a word about the gremlins. She was too busy leaping out of the chair and nursing her poor back. First a stubbed toe and now this!
"Well you see." Tree began, "You are finally noticing how long you've sat here in these hidden halls playing tic-tac-toe and the like. You are fearing Lord Secret has no feelings for you, and you are also beginning to fear old age, (which is quite ridiculous seeing as how you are immortal) and on that note you are also having trouble coming to terms with your lack of mortality."
Lady Star's jaw dropped in shock. "That's it exactly! How did you know?!"
"I read your mind, processed the info, and came to a reasonable conclusion." Tree said offhandedly making it sound simple. Then as an after- note he added, "Also I am in cohorts with the Narrator."
"Well, that answers my question, thanks for the help." Lady Star said, making as if to leave.
"WAIT!" Tree cried out, "Don't you want some advice or something? Please I'm so bored! All Lord Secret does with me is play tic-tac-toe! DO YOU KNOW HOW BORING TIC-TAC-TOE GETS AFTER 2000 YEARS!?!?" Knowing exactly how boring tic-tac-toe was, Lady Star shuddered and stayed put, feeling rather sorry for the tree. It wasn't a bad tree, it just had no real social skills. Perhaps she could have Callie send some diplomats out to some of the nearby ents to see if they wanted to have get together.but in the meantime she had to do something!
"Well." Lady Star said, "I could use some advice on how to deal with the Queen of Naboo.I mean, it's been ages since I've talked to any royalty besides Díva, and she's a Jedi and like minded so it's easier with her. Going beyond that it's been 10 years since we last talked."
Tree chuckled knowing Lady Star was lying about needing advice, but was willing to play along for something to do.
"When you go through the portal," He began, "You'll find yourself on a strange, new world. It will have different beasts and birds and plants than you have ever known. Nearly immediately you will most likely be met by Naboo's armed forcing who will be puzzled by your sudden appearance, and they will attempt trouble." Tree paused, sucking some water up from a nearby tree with his roots, and then continued on.
"If they meet you I suggest you re-direct the portal to that nearby Forest Moon, where we planned out Embassy to be located. Awaiting you there will be all the "technology" I can magically conjure there for you to use. You should begin the Embassy and claim the moon as Council territory before you go anywhere else. Then invite the Queen of Naboo to come for a social call, and using your superior diplomatic tactics (a.k.a. hand waving and mind tricks)," He added snickering, "strong-arm her into helping you procure a fleet to escort you to Coruscant." He paused again, lapping at some nearby sunlight for a small snack. All this advising got to be a bit tiring when one hadn't done any for 1000 years!
(Ok, I'm leaving off there for now. More will come soon I promise! Until then you'll just have to read my other story, Groupies of the Ring, a set of LOTR parodies! Vanya Sulie Mellon!)
The portal was safe, that she was sure of. It was composed of the strongest magics and charms she and Lord Secret could come up with, and as well as the best known to Lord Secret's tree. Yes, tree. Those further along in the master of force manipulation can use it to communicate with other creatures and living things.
A tree really was the perfect candidate for a Jedi Master, Elven or not. It was always at peace and harmony with the world around it. At least, it had better be. When one can not easily move from place to place it is best not to anger one's neighbors. This was the reason why Lady Star decided to go see him before she left.
After bringing her bag out to the Head Council Circle, she just casually happened to notice that they were fighting like maniacs. Debating over who should go, and why Lady Star shouldn't go, and where to send the portal. Lord Secret simply slumped into his plaid beanbag chair/throne and began to meditate. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately, she didn't know why.
She decided to slip back past the waterfall without any one noticing, especially Lord Secret, since it was his room and his friend whom she wanted to meet with privately. She sneaked back down to the boat, climbed in, and tried getting it to move through the water. It didn't budge.
She was the most power and skilled Elven Jedi in all of Arda, and she couldn't move a dinky little boat up a stream?! Lord Secret did it all the time, seemingly effortlessly. She then remembered that it was always him who moved the boat. She had never attempted to go to her chambers without him escorting her. Due to this she now had no clue how to move the boat.
"Do not try to move the boat, you cannot." Came the thought in the back of her mind, "Move the water around the boat instead." She tried doing this and low and behold it moved effortlessly. There must have been an enchantment on the boat to keep it from moving from the water where it was first placed. With that in mind how stagnant was that water? That was the last time she splashed her hand in the water along the side of the boat!
"This isn't the East River Lady Star," came on of those weird thoughts again, "You won't spontaneously combust just from touching the water." Now she was sure she didn't think that! It must be some outside consciousness linked with her mind. "On the nose." Came the annoying voice/thought. "Or knothole, whichever you prefer."
"Tree!" She muttered out loud.
"You were expecting Mr. Rodgers? Let me tell you it may be a beautiful day in my neighborhood but I am not some old two-bit actor who specializes in tying shoes, buttoning and unbuttoning sweaters, and brainwashing young Human children!"
"Wow" Thought Lady, "He rambles just as much if not more than Lord Secret!"
"I heard that!"
It was then that Lady Star decided to guard her thoughts more carefully, especially with this tree around. "Can anyone say 'Chainsaw?'" She thought just to annoy him. It seemed like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
"Yeah that's what you think!" Came Tree's noxious voice/thought. "I've been around for 2000 plus years and you haven't bothered to just stop by and see me! As Ricky would say, "Lucy, you gotta lot of 'splainen to do!" And if you're lucky I won't add the backhand across the face!"
Lady Star simply smiled again and thought, "Chainsaw."
It was the first time she had ever dared enter the private chambers of Lord Secret, which was somewhat odd seeming as how they had been neighbors for well over a millennia, going on two. She approached to door, turned the knob, swung it open, and the sight amazed her.
The first thing she saw was a large, nearly 2000 year old tree trunk right in front of her face. On it she saw stairs going up to a talan, with several others further up. She went over to the stairs and read the sign:
"GALADRIEL, EAT YOUR HEART OUT!"
Lady Star sighed a deep sigh. "He would have to put something like that there wouldn't he."
Climbing her way up and around the huge tree, Lady Star noticed that there was no roof on the room, merely a tall wall around the edges of the floor. "We try so hard to maintain secrecy and he goes and pulls a stunt like this!" She snarled, angry about the loss of privacy.
"Oh please!" Came Tree's annoying voice in her head. "Do you think anyone could get past me? I am an Elven Jedi master and all. I can handle George Lucas or Tolkein themselves!"
Hearing these names mentioned within her halls annoyed Lady Star to the point of taking a leaf out of a beaver's book and chewing wood. Thankfully she restrained herself, and merely climbed higher.
Everything was finely carved and decorated. It seemed Lord Secret was a talented handyman. She noticed a large throne-like chair on one talan and lost it. "HE CARVES NICE FURNITURE FOR HIMSELF AND HE STICKS US WITH BEAN- BAG CHAIRS FROM E-BAY!" She screamed totally pissed.
"Sit on it!" Came Tree's voice in her mind. At first from the tone she thought it an insult from the show Happy Day's. But, upon sitting on the chair she realized why he provided them with squashy beanbags instead of thrones. Upon sitting, she realized she would soon be in desperate need of a chiropractor if she sat there too long. "That's right! Now for that remark I'll only speak to you while your sitting in that chair." Tree said smugly.
It was then that Lady Star had another realization; this was a truly evil tree! "Actually a Maple/Pine Hybrid, but you were close." Came his annoying voice, de-railing her train of thought. Another evil deed upon the part of this tree! "Now what troubles you milady?" Tree asked, and she would have thought him concerned had he not forced her to sit in this gosh-awful chair! She'd never get this horrible crick in her back out!
"I am -ugh!- try to figure out why -oof!- I am trying to leave, AH THE PAIN!, the Hidden Halls after I just confessed something seemingly hidden to-naffingly evil chair!- seek out another world." She finished her sentence through all the pain the chair was inflicting upon her spine. She envisioned a truck full of Round-Up Weed Killer pouring itself on tree.
"Alright, you don't have to sit in the chair." Tree said, obviously worried about the vision. "Lord Secret only keeps it there as a booby trap for pudding-sneaking gremlins. They like to bath in it you see."
Of course Lady Star didn't hear a word about the gremlins. She was too busy leaping out of the chair and nursing her poor back. First a stubbed toe and now this!
"Well you see." Tree began, "You are finally noticing how long you've sat here in these hidden halls playing tic-tac-toe and the like. You are fearing Lord Secret has no feelings for you, and you are also beginning to fear old age, (which is quite ridiculous seeing as how you are immortal) and on that note you are also having trouble coming to terms with your lack of mortality."
Lady Star's jaw dropped in shock. "That's it exactly! How did you know?!"
"I read your mind, processed the info, and came to a reasonable conclusion." Tree said offhandedly making it sound simple. Then as an after- note he added, "Also I am in cohorts with the Narrator."
"Well, that answers my question, thanks for the help." Lady Star said, making as if to leave.
"WAIT!" Tree cried out, "Don't you want some advice or something? Please I'm so bored! All Lord Secret does with me is play tic-tac-toe! DO YOU KNOW HOW BORING TIC-TAC-TOE GETS AFTER 2000 YEARS!?!?" Knowing exactly how boring tic-tac-toe was, Lady Star shuddered and stayed put, feeling rather sorry for the tree. It wasn't a bad tree, it just had no real social skills. Perhaps she could have Callie send some diplomats out to some of the nearby ents to see if they wanted to have get together.but in the meantime she had to do something!
"Well." Lady Star said, "I could use some advice on how to deal with the Queen of Naboo.I mean, it's been ages since I've talked to any royalty besides Díva, and she's a Jedi and like minded so it's easier with her. Going beyond that it's been 10 years since we last talked."
Tree chuckled knowing Lady Star was lying about needing advice, but was willing to play along for something to do.
"When you go through the portal," He began, "You'll find yourself on a strange, new world. It will have different beasts and birds and plants than you have ever known. Nearly immediately you will most likely be met by Naboo's armed forcing who will be puzzled by your sudden appearance, and they will attempt trouble." Tree paused, sucking some water up from a nearby tree with his roots, and then continued on.
"If they meet you I suggest you re-direct the portal to that nearby Forest Moon, where we planned out Embassy to be located. Awaiting you there will be all the "technology" I can magically conjure there for you to use. You should begin the Embassy and claim the moon as Council territory before you go anywhere else. Then invite the Queen of Naboo to come for a social call, and using your superior diplomatic tactics (a.k.a. hand waving and mind tricks)," He added snickering, "strong-arm her into helping you procure a fleet to escort you to Coruscant." He paused again, lapping at some nearby sunlight for a small snack. All this advising got to be a bit tiring when one hadn't done any for 1000 years!
(Ok, I'm leaving off there for now. More will come soon I promise! Until then you'll just have to read my other story, Groupies of the Ring, a set of LOTR parodies! Vanya Sulie Mellon!)