"If I had enough courage, I would leave everything in the hands of fate and confess what I feel to you. Even if I had to abandon everything and I put up with your contempt for me. Because I can't keep this that I feel anymore. I hope you can forgive me for having fallen in love like a fool with you. We are so different that sometimes I think that a simple kiss, a kiss between our lips, could cause an electric shock."

Professor Snape was still there, standing next to me. The figure of him attracted me too much. His bearing stood elegant and with distinction among the other layers that walked through the place. If it wasn't for the place where we were, or for the circumstances... Suddenly a strange whirlwind began in my navel, a familiar spiral completely absorbed me, moving me to another place. The two of us disappeared from Knockturn Alley in a second of his will, he always did what he wanted with me. His wish made us appear in another place, where I had never been before. It was a small room, so small that you could cross it in three steps. The walls were large wooden shelves filled with books, their covers worn from use. In the center of the room there was an old table, with a newspaper of "The Prophet". There was also a very old green chair on one side and an armchair of the same color on the other side, it was threadbare. In the background, almost next to the armchair, you could see a fireplace. The room was illuminated only by a lamp hanging from the ceiling, which carried two candles that barely lit anything. A wooden door revealed what appeared to be a neglected kitchen. It seemed to be someone's old home, since it was abandoned by hand.

―Where are we? ―I said looking at his pale face.

―In my house, Rosenberg.

He was saying, as he slid his cloak down onto the old chair. I had been surprised, without words to express or say. Bewilderment reigned in my mind. Was that his house? I had always imagined something very different. How cobwebs, chandeliers with well-worn candles, coffins and black stone walls... That place seemed like it had once been a charming corner, more now covered with dust and the wear of time it looked like an old house in ruins.

―Would you like to sit down? ―he said politely.

I looked at him surprised again, his friendly and cordial tone had confused me greatly. It could only mean that he pretended to know something about me, but he couldn't fool me that easily anymore. I was more than inoculated against his tricks.

―Of course ―I said in as normal a tone as I could.

We both circle the table very slowly. He waved me to the free spot on the couch and he sat down in the old chair, crossing his arms over his chest. Until today I had never seen him as handsome as he is now. He was wearing a white blouse with tight buttons at the wrists. Over it he wore a black cloth vest that matched his pants and shoes. I have to say, as strange as it may seem, that today he was dressed much happier than me. My clothes had been carefully chosen, dark tones and large sizes. My eye makeup was also black, it completely surrounded my eye. I took off my hood, leaving my brown hair free, it already reached much below my shoulders. I looked to my right at the fireplace, although it was not cold, his fire burned unalterably.

―Would you like some tea?

―No, thanks.

He was right there, looking at me calm and sure. So handsome and seductive. Despite never having found him attractive, having feared him like the rest of my classmates, having hated him deeply and repeatedly. Something had welled up in me from the moment our lips met. It seemed unbelievable that now the two of us were there alone, after having treated each other with such contempt. I liked the curved shape of his nose now, his cold eyes irremediably attracted me. He had made me sick, addicted to his body, his voice and even his abuse. I was fucking confused and unsure of what my own body could do. I wanted to confess everything I felt and end this. That he felt so disgusted that he destroyed my feelings on the spot, and then I would live in peace.

―What were you doing in Knockturn Alley? ―He asked casually, raising his chin.

―I had the wrong alley ―what a poor excuse...

―Really? ―He said, pretending to believe it.

―Yes... ―I replied fearing what he had discovered.

―Please Elinor, you won't think I really believed that stupid excuse ―he said, slapping the arm of the chair in irritation.

―Well, you should, sir, it's the truth.

He was too suspicious, I don't think even I would have bought that excuse. He got up indignantly from his seat, taking a few steps towards one of the bookshelves. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, trying to calm his temper but he had too much temper and glared back at me. I don't know when the wand appeared in his hand, he made a turn of the wrist pointing to the shelf that he had in front of him and it moved inwards, revealing a ladder inside. I looked at him surprised but without saying a word. Any word I said would be used against me, it was useless for me to reason with him. He raised his wand in the direction of the secret wooden stairs, I didn't have to be Merlin to know what he wanted. I put the bag and my black cloak on the ugly old couch in the living room, I walked past the annoying figure of him. He was looking at me so fiercely that I even felt fear and started to climb the steps. It wasn't a grand staircase, but I could have sworn it was old and I was afraid of getting stuck on one of its steps. It ended in a small hallway, very small, with two brown wooden doors on either side. One of them burst open, by some incantation of Snape's as it was right behind me. I kept walking in silence until I passed the threshold of the wooden door, the door was closed by the hand of Snape who was in a very bad mood, but there was no way I was going to give in.

The room was in the same style as his dorm at school, dark tones ruling here, except for the light the window let in. His body whirled past me, pausing at the window that revealed an industrial smokestack and a suburban slum. In that room there was only a bed and a couple of chairs in one corner. As neglected as the rest of the house.

―I don't know what I'm going to do with you anymore.

Snape was leaning against the window with one of his hands, level with his forehead. He seemed to be bitter and jaded, but no matter how bad I felt, I wasn't going to say anything to him. And with these words I finished convincing myself, in moments of weakness. When I saw his black eyes trying to guess what I was thinking. His behavior was making me more and more nervous.

―You know I've tried but… If you don't want to speak for the good, you'll speak for the bad, Rosenberg.

Professor Snape turned around determined to make me talk. I saw it in his eyes, uncontrolled black rage. He approached me menacingly, taking my arm and dragging my body to the black bed. He yanked me onto the mattress hard. Scared I tried to get out of that situation in which we had ended so many times, but he almost never let me go like today.

―Perhaps if I squeeze your modest soul a little, it will let me know what it hides. After all, it is what you like. Feeling humiliated by everyone, even your sister!

I couldn't believe he had said that. His indolence had stabbed at my feelings, my pure feelings. I controlled the terrible urge to cry by biting my bottom lip and looking away. Snape began to take off my shoes and pants very roughly, this time he wanted to go further even to the end if necessary. He hurt me every time he took something off, but not a single complaint came out of my mouth. I wasn't going to give him that pleasure. He took my two hands with one of his until I was motionless on the bed, but I no longer resisted. On my body he still looked at me unpleasant and angry.

Although his actions were to provoke me, each time his movements were slower. His gaze was piercing, wanton, and full of desire as he glanced down at my hip. He knew that if he wanted he could take me right there. And I think that was exactly what my potions teacher was thinking of. He hiked up the black T-shirt I was wearing to reveal the black lace bra that matched the panties that he now exposed. I began to tremble, revealing my weakness. But I wasn't afraid, I just felt a burning desire, I wanted him above all else. It would finally happen, but I never would have imagined that the person I loved would rape me the first time.

―It's the last chance Elinor, otherwise I'll take what's mine by force ―he said as he placed his hand on my black bra.

―I have nothing to say to you, sir! ―I yelled, assuming what would happen.

Snape didn't flinch at the answer given, he took off my bra and exposed my chest. I closed my eyes, embarrassed that he was seeing me naked for the first time. I could feel him placing his fingers on my goose bumps. I felt the hot wetness of his mouth on my small nipple, my body instantly reacting. The pleasure that enveloped me made me float, as if there was only that intense heat in my mind. My body arched off his mattress as he licked me harder and harder. Opening my eyes I saw how Severus wrapped his arms around my body. Our eyes met and I think they formed a single flame. He approached my face looking at me as if it were the first time he saw me and we melted into a passionate kiss, mixing our tongues in games of desire. He passed a hand over my breasts caressing me tenderly, while the other released me and lowered to my pelvis. Those erotic caresses were driving me completely crazy. I wrapped my hands around his hair and his face. It was the first time he let me touch his skin, and I felt so happy, so full and blissful.

It was just how I had been feeling it these days ago. I loved him. So much so that I had grown that feeling that I would do anything to make him love me. I would give anything to hear a single "I love you" from his lips. Even though I knew I was kidding myself, I knew he would now be comparing me to my sister and giving me her blonde hair, but I didn't care. If he was with me I didn't care about anything anymore...

Suddenly Snape gently pulls his face away from mine, looking at me seriously. Until now I had not realized it, but I was crying. As if this were the greatest punishment in the world, I cried for my sorrows and my meaningless love. Severus was there on my body, he was going to sleep with me, but his heart would never ever be mine and that's why my soul cried silently. His surprised expression quickly changed to a cruel smile.

―It's no use crying, Rosenberg! Do you think I...

―Severus, ―I said, cutting in, ―When this is all over and I'm no longer a virgin, you won't touch me again, will you?

His macabre smile disappeared in a second to a fine trembling line. Trying to process everything I had told him, Snape looked at me with shock and bewilderment in his dark eyes. He slowly removed his hands from my body, watching from above he couldn't understand why I had told him that.

―But what are you saying? ―He said getting off me until he returned to the wooden floor.

―I can't shut up any longer. Sometimes I feel so hurt that I can't breathe.

Snape couldn't get over his astonishment. He opened his mouth slightly from the five meters that now separated us. I lowered my bra trying not to be embarrassed, or feel cowardly. It was my opportunity, perhaps the only one I would have to confess to him and that he could make it clear to me that he didn't feel anything for me.

―I've never seen more than a teacher in you, but everything changed from the moment our lips met. ―I said as he opened his eyes wider and my tears fell.

―Enough, stop...

―I can't stop thinking about you, no matter how much I want to deny it or hide it." I need you to know that I can't help it, no matter how much it hurts or upsets you. I love you, I love you with all my heart.

That's it, I had said it loud and clear. I was about to pass out but I needed to know what he was thinking. His nostrils flared urgently for a quick breath. Snape didn't say a word but from the tension on his face it looked like I had traumatized him for life. He turned around, putting his hand to his face to reflect or reassure himself not to laugh at my own face. I got out of bed grabbing my pants to get dressed. I gently touched the white blouse on his sleeve, but Snape seemed startled and immediately had a reflex action. He looked at me still surprised, though soon those wide eyes like saucers disappeared to give way to cold and cruel black orbs.

―You are stupid and unconscious, miss! From now on the pact is annulled by your impudence. Get dressed, I'll wait for you downstairs.

Snape walked down the stairs letting his shoes convey his fury and anger. It was all over between us, if there had ever been a "we." The last stone to my heart had hit right in the center, at the fatal point. It was over. I would never look at him hopeful or sweet again. I couldn't anymore… I wasn't even sure if I could live knowing that he despised me to the point of being disgusted by me, I didn't deserve it.

At least when my love died, the revenge could continue until it culminated in Isobel's corpse. Now more than ever I felt that I could bring out the monster that lived inside me. Goodbye sweetheart, don't come back for me. Go back to your perfect world and never come back from there.