All the way home, my mother was scrutinizing my face. Searching for the answers she silently formulated as she drove. A mother could feel what was happening to her children. It was natural for her to be worried about me, for I must have looked dejected and defeated. I couldn't explain to myself how I didn't feel the cold of the glass, nor the breeze caressing my face, nor the landscape that my eyes saw. Everything was indifferent to me, for me the world had died since his eyes looked at me with contempt. I tilted my head to look at that woman who was so worriedly watching me. I tried to smile like before, but my lips barely moved.
―Mom, I'm just tired.
―I don't believe you one bit, Elinor Rosenberg, ―she blurted out nervously. ―Aren't you going to tell me what happened to you, daughter?
―There wasn't the cauldron I was looking for in the store, ―I said as she arched a brown eyebrow.
―If I believed everything they told me, Eli, I wouldn't be so good at cards, darling, ―she said, taking the dirt road. ―Did you see someone in the alley? Is that it?
―Something like that, but I don't want to talk about it, Mom. I just need to rest for a while and you'll see me again like always —I answered, careful with my smile.
―As you wish, ―she said, giving up. —But remember that I will always be at your disposal, don't forget that.
We got home after a while of awkward silence in the car. My mother hadn't taken her eyes off of me and that bothered me. Because without her knowing it, I was going to kill my sister and the look on her face made me feel remorse, guilt, and uneasiness. What would my mother do when she found out what I was going to do? She simply hated me like the worst of daughters, like a vile and treacherous cold-blooded monster. I wish there was another way to do it mother, but I can't see anything, not a single way out.
I went to my room running upstairs, avoiding Isobel's gaze that was looking for anything to annoy me. Dropping the bag and black cloak on the floor, I unzipped it and pulled out the paper wrapper containing the green Dracumian. I immediately took the plant in one hand to observe it for the first time. It was small, no bigger than my wand. Its leaves and stem were scarlet, which seemed strange to me, since its name was "green" Dracumiana. I perfectly remembered what I had read in that library book, the plant needed little light to survive and three drops of blood for three nights in a row. I opened the closet and left the plant there, next to a brown box where I had some photos. I sat up in bed tired and sleepy.
There were only a few days left to go back to Hogwarts. Yes, two weeks had already passed, how a sigh had vanished from the throat. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to go back and finish the course. Perhaps it would be a good idea to stop seeing Snape. I still remembered the anger in his eyes as he moved me to the corner where mom had left me. He didn't say anything to me again after his insults, I only had looks of contempt from him. I should never have confessed how I felt. He would no longer touch me, caress me, or kiss me. We wouldn't make love anymore...
My brain rejoiced at the last few moments we had. Going over all the details very slowly, tracing his kisses perfectly. Modifying his voice so that his lips pronounced "I love you" in my mind. All I had left were the insipid ashes, the leftovers of an invented love, the sexual fantasies I would never have under his arms. I bitterly cried his rejection, cried and cried his absence. As if it were worth something, I shed salty tears without remedy. What a feeling of emptiness! What deep pain in my being, as if a stake had been driven into my chest. I rested my head on the pillow for a moment, watching the happy little girls in the photo frame. I grabbed it, looked at their faces one last time, and turned the photo upside down, hoping I wouldn't regret my future actions.
Pastel colors blurred my dreams, expressive and abstract. They caressed my vision with different passages, people and in the end a single dark silhouette that looked at me with contempt. Soft colors became aggressive, reds and blacks dominating the sky of my mind. Ravens descended from the shadows, their gaze falling on me. Professor Snape crossed his arms, preventing me from passing over the land of my dreams. He unfurled his black clad arms, revealing what he concealed in his hands, a dagger and a heart. His evil smile made an impression on me. His intentions were clear, as clear as they had been today. He raised the arm that held the knife, threatening the helpless heart. He looked at me once more, lowered his arm forcefully and... I woke up. At first I didn't know where I was, or what I saw, but I heard my lips pronounce his name in a low voice: "Severus". I had called him without realizing it in the shadows of my room. The clock on the bedside table read four in the afternoon. Mom wouldn't have wanted to wake me up to eat, but maybe I would have been grateful, since she would have woken me up from a terrible nightmare. I changed my clothes, discharging his male scent from my body. No matter how much time passed I would never forget the contact of his mouth with mine. The moonstone pendant was still on my chest. I took a pair of denim shorts, my sneakers, and a yellow t-shirt from the closet. I didn't even look at my hair, I hardly cared what I looked like with smudged makeup. I liked it, it gave me a sinister and pathetic touch, which I deserved for being such an idiot.
I went downstairs closing my room on the way out, I looked in the kitchen and the dining room but there was no one in the house. Mama would be with her mandrakes, and Isobel would be at the Robinson farm with silly Alexander. It was the right moment to escape from there, from all of them. The people who hated me and the people who loved me, I didn't want to see either of them. Miserable and treacherous, that's what I was. A bad snake willing to kill her own sister just for selfishness. I left the cottage through the kitchen door, the one that led to the rose garden. Isobel and I, in the old days, used to run away from the house very often when Mom's guests came. We'd take the gap in the white rose bushes, whatever little gap there was, and head into the woods behind the house. I hadn't taken that shortcut in years, and the undergrowth had ravaged it. I removed the branches and climbed out through the hole; I ran free at last along the path that our feet had built for years. My steps became faster and faster between the earth and the grass, like drums resounding in the silent deciduous forest. The trees were so green that they seemed to be painted in oil, even the amber light seemed to be expressly for me.
I needed this, to go for a run to clear my mind of problems. Forget everything while adrenaline runs through my veins. Feel how the field of vision increases as the pupils dilate. The wind in my hair as it flew over the rotting logs on the trail, feeling my lungs fill with fresh air. The feeling of freedom is such that I hardly have time to reflect while my mind organizes all these emotions. The path, as I very well knew, ended in a small clearing where there was a waterfall. Only Izzie and I knew that place in the woods, it was our favorite place. I arrived exhausted, sucking in more than breathing air. It was not as I remembered it because of some plants that had grown more than necessary and had covered some trunks. The waterfall was the only thing that was the same, just a little smaller than I remembered. The waterfall had been born in the rock wall that bordered the place. I knelt down to contemplate the crystal clear lagoon, my black eyes looked like those of a girl who had been crying her eyes out. I made a bowl with my hands and filled them with pure water to wash the black eyes I saw. My face looked better after a few minutes.
On the shores of the lagoon I rested my body, observing how the trees swayed in the wind. The green tops of the trees looked like flags of ancient forgotten civilizations. I took a deep breath, in my chest there was still something that weighed me down and I had to get rid of it at once. It wasn't even mine.
The small heart-shaped pendant gleamed in the sunlight, flashing green and blue. I took it off my chest without thinking too much, looked at it one last time and threw it on the shore of the lagoon. But just as my hand dropped it, my mind was already regretting it. I quickly got up from the grass to peek into the crystal clear water, this one hadn't gotten very far. It stood on some gray rocks underwater, its white color standing out. I put my hand in, the water was freezing, and I took out the pendant, happy to have it in my hands again. I didn't want to get rid of him, I wasn't ready yet. I sighed sadly, I had to go home now, and I hadn't been able to forget Severus at any time. Doomed to love you for the rest of my days, darling.
Fifteen minutes later
I walked home, reflecting on my life and recent events. The table was set, and a whiff of freshly cooked chicken wafted out of my kitchen window. The conversation was very animated when I entered with muddy shoes. Mr and Mrs Bloomfield smiled brightly as they watched my mother pour more wine for them. Isobel hardly spoke a word but she remained integrated, her expression changed when she saw me arrive.
―Elinor, sister! Why don't you join the celebration? ―she said casually.
When pronouncing that the others present looked in my direction, smiling at me candidly. My mom waved for me to sit next to her and across from Izzie. The last thing I wanted was an evening like that and having to pretend for a while that I still loved my sister. It was so unpleasant like to eat hot soup on a hot summer day. Unpleasant yes, but not insufferable.
―Where have you been, Elinor? ―my mother asked, cutting up the chicken to give me a portion.
―Over there… ―I said so low that it didn't sound like my voice.
I took the beige napkin and put it on my lap. My sister smiled at me mockingly, her arrogance drove me crazy. Something was up in that crazy little mind, something not very good. Anything she could use against me she would without hesitation.
―It's very rude to be late for dinner, Elinor. Especially having guests for dinner. Don't you think so, Mr Bloomfield?
Mr Bloomfield was surprised by Isobel's words, for it was a fortuitous attack on me. However she seemed to raise her head boasting of her victorious quip. John swallowed hard, flustered as he didn't know what to say. He stammered a few words to try to excuse me, watching my reaction sideways, but my mother was faster than him and immediately defended me diplomatically.
―Isobel, your sister didn't know we had guests over for dinner, dear.
―Mother, don't try to excuse her. Look at her, she looks like a mangy dog with that uncombed mane and those teary eyes —she said passing her brown eyes over my face, while I clenched my fists under the table —She didn't even say hello when she arrived, do you think that's plausible behavior? I never thought I'd have to say it, but Elinor needs to learn some manners and maybe be a little nicer, because surely that sour face she's making won't get her very far.
I was on fire. That unsavory sister of mine, she was having remarkably fun at my expense. Putting myself out there in front of the neighbors and even Mom. She thought she was perfect, damn narcissist, liar and murderer, I wish the plant would bear fruit soon and I could kill you as soon as possible. Without thinking or maybe I had wanted it for a long time, my lips pronounced a single word out loud.
―Bitch. ―Isobel's teasing expression instantly cooled, turning serious and shocked. ―You're a fucking son of a bitch. You only enjoy causing harm to others, you are scum.
Both my mother and the Bloomfields were horrified at my words. They had never heard a bad word for my sister in my entire life, but perhaps it was time for them to wake up and listen to my screams of rebellion because I couldn't stand her anymore.
—You're rubbish as a person, damn crazy girl. I'm ashamed to be your sister and I hope, I hope... I hope you die, Isobel!
―ELINOR ROSENBERG TO YOUR ROOM! ―my mother screamed hysterically.
Her face did not come out of astonishment, like that of my neighbors who were like family. My sister, however, had a bitter, stale and even helpless expression for not being able to defend herself with the snake tongue she had. I angrily abandoned my seat, stomping up the steps to my room as I listened to Claire's low-voiced comments. "I never would have imagined it from her" she said breathlessly.
I slammed the bedroom door shut, it was fuming and I needed to distract myself or I'd break furniture and things. I then remembered the plant, it needed a drop of blood. I went urgently to my wooden desk to rummage through the drawers for a pair of scissors or something sharp to cut a piece of my skin. Luckily I found a pair of scissors that hadn't been used for many years. I went back to the closet in a few steps, opened it quickly and let the sharp blade of the scissors pass through my index finger. For a moment it hurt, but immediately the first drops of blood sprouted, "Just a drop" I reminded myself. It fell lightly on the red stem blending with its color. The countdown had already begun for my sister, she would soon be underground raising mallows.
In the mirror I had inside the closet door I could see my face. I looked like my sister Isobel when she was in a zombie state, my eyes hardly had vitality or joy. The only thing I saw was the liquid pupil shimmering in the dark. Isobel... that bitch was going to pay me, and I knew exactly where to start fucking her. I silently opened my bedroom door, the conversation could be heard from above and they were still talking about me. I walked down the hall, careful not to hear my footsteps, until I reached Izzie's bedroom door. I cautiously entered her room, turned on the light and looked around. I hurried to rummage through all her drawers, the box of birth control pills must not be far away. That bitch wouldn't fornicate with anyone else on the days she stayed home and at Hogwarts she wouldn't either. That same night I slept very well. I had gotten rid of my demons, the ones I had been carrying for years, but how good I felt. A high-pitched scream broke into my sweet morning dreams, making them even sweeter since I already knew who had screamed and why.
―Mom! Oh my god, my hair is blue! ―my sister yelled down the stairs, almost crying.
The night before I had been very, very bad at playing with her fake "barbie" dye. And this was nothing to what awaited that poor fool at Hogwarts, it was nothing compared to it. I felt triumphant, finally she would take her own medicine and pay for all the years she had me in the shadow. I was never going to forgive her, I would enjoy her remaining days humiliating her until the "red death" was ready, then, only then would everything end.
Next monday
The time had finally come to return to the castle and of course to finish my sixth form studies. I was dying to prepare for the appearance exam, it would give me so much freedom in daily life. Well, coming down from the clouds, it could be said that after a few days of using a special shampoo, Isobel's hair lost its blue tint. I was afraid of her revenge because I knew what she could do, but this time she wouldn't catch me off guard, far from it. There would be big changes this year for her and her cronies. I would start by fucking all the guys she flirted with, then separate her from her friends, make up rumors... Sarah Harris ran a hand over my face, it seemed that I had gotten too excited about the idea of fucking Izzie that, barely. I paid attention to what she told me.
―Elinor you are always in the clouds! ―she exclaimed, smiling.
Sarah had taken a special affection for me, I noticed it in the way she spoke. I also appreciated and liked her very much, however I couldn't let them see her with me because of what was going to happen to Izzie. The fruit was ready, secretly waiting in a box in my old trunk, and the time would soon come. I didn't know if I could wait that long to give it to her, I wanted to do it tonight at the banquet... And why not do it now?
―Sarah, I have to go out for a moment, but I'll be back soon.
―Brenda and I are waiting for you here.
Sarah seemed to have a special affection for me, I didn't really know how it happened, but we were friends now. But my conscience asked for revenge. In the next compartment was the group of Slytherin girls gossiping about their "holidays", and a fantastic idea popped into my mind. Those gossips wouldn't resist putting the exclusive I brought for them by word of mouth. I opened the compartment door with force, their eyes fell on me with surprise, I smiled at them with a satisfactory air. Grace was there with Heather, the two girls I was most interested in from the group gathered there.
―Good morning ladies. You have no idea what they just told me in another compartment. The gossip king of this year. ―I said, showing my eyebrows mischievously.
As I expected, they opened their eyes curiously waiting for me to release such appetizing information. A while later I left the compartment very happy with my work because Grace hurried off to other compartments to spread the rumor. The game had started. What was coming now? Oh yeah! Guys... I wasn't sure about that, or if I could make out with any of them so I opted for a better tactic. I walked down the long corridor of the carriage until I ended up in the last compartments, where the boys in my class were talking about how the Gryffindor team was going to fall this year. I looked out the window and saw one that I immediately recognized by the name of Bob, I had seen him before with my sister so the plan was not going to fail. With a wave of my hand, I signaled the fool to go out to talk in the corridor.
―Izzie Rosenberg? What the hell have you done to your hair? ―he asked when he saw my brown hair, I had forgotten my sister's blonde hair.
—A change of look... Hey Bob, I need you to do something for me —I said while I got mellowed and threw myself at his neck to whisper the plan —Do you understand? If you do this for me…I'll reward you. ―I casually licked his left earlobe in the middle of the hallway.
The Elinor everyone knew would never have done such a thing, but I wasn't Elinor, I was another Izzie. Ruthless, cruel and murderous. The dark-haired Slytherin boy blushed briefly as he agreed with the Machiavellian plan against Isobel and then without further ado returned to her place. I walked back but past my compartment, I still hadn't finished my work. I went through the compartments one by one until I found the one containing my sister's two harpies, Darla Johnson and Susan Wells. Fortunately they were alone there, perhaps Isobel was changing because there was little left to get to Hogwarts and these two already had their robes on. I opened the door nonchalantly, neither of them looking at me until I cleared my throat.
―So here you were, Mudblood. ―they both looked at me as if I'd stabbed them.
―What did you say, traitor? ―Susan said angrily.
―That's what Isobel told me, that you are two mudbloods. ―I could hardly contain my laughter.
―Isobel? It's not true, you're lying traitorous ―Susan said suspiciously.
―I'm not lying, Wells, and to prove that what I'm telling you is true, in a few seconds you'll be able to see Isobel go through the wagon half-naked. ―They both put on strange faces when I told them this, but as I had said, they would soon discover that I wasn't lying.
―Boooooob!
The scream of a girl was heard throughout the car, then the sound of four feet running at full speed and finally we saw Bob, the goofy boy, with a gray skirt in his hand. My sister ran after him down the hall with the face of a murderous demon, laughter burning inside me when I saw how the two passed before the incredulous gaze of the harpies. My sister wore her panties in the air, she covered herself as best she could with the black Slytherin robes.
―See how I'm not lying, Susan? By the way, if I were you I would also stay away from her for a while.
―Why? ―Darla ventured to ask, a little worried.
At that moment some Gryffindor girls peeked through the compartment door, they seemed to have been laughing for a long time. I looked at them delighted, they had arrived just at the perfect time.
―Did you hear about Isobel Rosenberg? She has syphilis! We have to tell everyone, haha —bad rumors spread faster than wildfire.
The Gryffindor girls ran to the other carriages with the seed of discord. I smiled satisfied with my work. I looked at the two fools expectantly and then walked out of there without further ado going back to my compartment. I entered calmly, seeing how everything was going perfectly without me having to lift a finger. Sarah and Brenda were talking out loud about the latest gossip of the year. One of them seemed more astonished than the other.
―Where have you been Eli? You've missed a lot of things that happened just a few seconds ago. ―she said with wide eyes.
―Ha ha. Don't worry Sarah, sooner or later I'll end up finding out about whatever it is... —I answered as I let myself fall on the back of the chair.
The closer we got to Hogwarts, the darker the sky became and the bigger its stars. We changed just before arriving at the station, my sister was very angry and to widen my smile her friends had left her aside. Now she was in the group of boys hitting Bob on the head. Honestly, I couldn't imagine greater happiness than her own misery. On the way to the castle, without any of the girls seeing me, I took the red fruit out of my trunk to keep it in my pocket. Prepared to throw it to my sister at lunch, at just the right time. It was a small red ball, similar to a cherry. I loved its size and shape.
Professor Dumbledore had a few words for us before we started eating dinner. My sister was sitting alone in a corner without her friends, staring in frustration at her empty plate. While Sarah and I were together at the table, chatting about the good course that awaited us. She had been telling me that she attended Alice's funeral a few days ago, her parents had greatly appreciated her presence that day and I couldn't stop torturing myself for not having been there too. Grace toasted and laughed looking at Isobel, she was surely talking about the spectacle that had formed in the corridor of the train. She would never forget her flushed face, her fury, her embarrassment. It had been a good day but sooner or later it had to end and more so now that my heart had woken up from lethargy. Snape was sitting at the staff table, his taciturn demeanor unalterable. I watched him several times at dinner, very surreptitiously because Sarah was a very smart person and she could understand him. He didn't look at me, no matter how much I called him in my mind he never looked at the Slytherin table, not once. It's time for the truth. I got up from the table, winking at Sarah to let her know I'd be back soon, and went straight to sit across from Isobel.
She was irritated and very nervous, her fingers would not stop still with the fork. She poked at the chicken thigh, more than that, she seemed to be assaulting him. She looked at me with disgust as I took a seat in front of her, I wasn't her favorite person in her world, but I was the one she had left. The last one she would see in her entire life. A bowl of fruit rested on the table top, with some gorgeous red cherries, it seemed like fate was on my side tonight. Isobel didn't take a bite of her plate, she circled her thigh with no more distraction than that. For my part, I saw the perfect opportunity to cheat on her. I took my wand from inside my robes under the table and from my pocket the little "red death". Levitating objects was one of my favorite enchantments, and I was also really good at it. I moved my right wrist slightly with the wand in my hand, whispering the "wingardium leviosa" incantation and the small red ball rose gently from my hand. It rose to the edge of the table, being so small no one would notice it. This one traveled a few centimeters until it was on top of the cherries in the bowl, strategically placed so that it would be one of the first to be picked.
I looked at her smiling slightly, she was still alienated, unconcerned about everything. Her luck would go with her to the grave, but the moment my hand went up to push the bowl of cherries into her sight. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a black shadow approaching from afar down the hall. Oh no, it was Snape! That man was coming to stop me at all costs, but I wasn't going to let him, not now that the end was so close. Forgive me Severus. The tension could take my breath away. I desperately brought the bowl of cherries closer to Isobel's sight, I knew it was her favorite fruit and she wouldn't resist trying any. I would offer her the apple and her temptation would do the rest for her. And indeed it was, she took three cherries, one of them was my little poisoned fruit. She popped them squarely into her mouth and chewed them vigorously. My eyes lit up seeing how she swallowed that damn thing. Professor Snape was late, my sister had already eaten the "red death", there was nothing he could do. He looked at me in anguish knowing what I could be up to and that's when he noticed my sister's pale face. Our fates were sealed. Isobel rolled her eyes, frowning at her and touching her throat. The end had begun. Victory.