Ella had spent time thinking while she was in the hospital. She had recovered quicker than Steve had, Thor sitting by her side the entire time and making sure that she was safe and sound. He had flirted with some of the nurses and Ella had rolled her eyes at his theatrics. He had asked her if she wanted to return to Asgard, knowing that their healers would be much better than the ones being offered on Earth. She had declined, insisting that she should remain, but the more she thought about, the more she wondered if she should be helping her brother more.
Should she be with her brother and helping him restore order in the Nine Realms? She didn't know, but she knew that she had to speak with Steve. He had told her that he loved her and they hadn't even discussed that. Of course, she had visited Steve in the room next to hers, wandering in and sitting by his bedside as he slept. Thor stood by the other side of his bed, watching as his sister watched Steve. She had a strange expression on her face. It was almost one of disappointment.
"What is it?" Thor asked from his sister when she was back in her own room, sitting in bed and eating a vanilla yoghurt. She dropped her spoon into the pot, placing it off to the side and then looking to her brother as he chuckled. "Ella, there has clearly been something on your mind for a while. I am not blind."
"I know," she said. "It is about Steve."
"What about him?" Thor asked her.
"I…he is a good man, Thor. He is more than a good man," she conceded, "and I feel something for him. I know I do. He makes me happy and I enjoy being with him, but it just feels like something is missing. It feels like there is just something that is amiss and I can't put my finger on it. He told me that he loves me and I can't even contemplate saying it back to him because I don't think I do, Thor. I think I care for him, but I don't love him."
Thor remained silent then, doing his best to gather his own thoughts. He had been convinced that his sister was in love. Truth be told, Thor knew that she could do worse than Steve Rogers. He was a good man and Thor liked him.
"I was not expecting that," Thor admitted to his sister.
"I have been thinking about it for a while," she admitted, lacing her hands together on her lap. "I know that I need to talk to him. I need to be honest with him because there are other people out there…someone who loves him like I can't."
"Well, you're going to have to wait to tell him because he is still sleeping," Thor said. "And I doubt the first thing he wants to hear when he wakes up is you breaking his heart."
"Don't," Ella urged from her brother, groaning loudly and resting her head back against her pillows. "I feel bad enough, but I think I would feel worse if I led him on. I can't do that to him."
"You have to do whatever you feel is right," Thor assured his sister. "Sometimes things don't work out, Ella, regardless of how much you care for someone."
"You sound like you're talking from experience," Ella said and he chuckled, tucking his hair behind his ears and folding one leg over the other. He was dressed in Midgardian clothes, jeans fitting his form and a shirt with blazer thrown over it.
"I do not see how I can be with Jane," he admitted to his sister. "I care for Jane very much, but she has a life here. She has a life that I cannot keep walking into and walking out of. There is too trouble in the Nine Realms."
"And that is why I am wondering if I should leave here for a while," she said to him. "I should come and help you."
"Ella, is that wise? It is dangerous-"
"-And I have been training and I have coped with danger," she interrupted him. "Besides, I can always come back if S.H.I.E.L.D. needs me, just like you can. I wanted to get away from Asgard after everything that had happened and going to the Nine Realms will still let me do that."
Thor smiled sadly and reached forwards, brushing his sister's hair behind her ear and keeping his hand against her cheek.
"I still think of you as my little sister, Ella. I should be protecting you…keeping you safe…not dragging you into danger. If I had my way then I would keep you locked upon Asgard where I know you are safe," Thor said to his sister and smiled gently at hearing him, shrugging her shoulders.
"You can't really do that anymore, Thor," she responded. "I know you want to, but I am old enough and able to make my own decisions so I am coming with you."
"You are to stay out of trouble."
"As best as I can," Ella promised and leaned forwards, kissing him on the cheek.
…
Loki knew that he should stay away. He knew that it would be wise to keep his distance, but he had watched on as his sister informed the Captain that she was leaving. She apologised to him profusely, telling him that she cared greatly for him, but she couldn't lead him on. She didn't love him. Steve had awkwardly scratched the back of his neck and nodded his head. He had told her that he loved her and he thought that he did, but when she spoke, he wondered if what he felt was really love. He had been confident that he had loved Peggy. She was the only woman who he had loved until he met Ella. He had told her there were no hard feelings and that he still cared deeply for her. She was still his friend.
She had hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek, urging for him to get some rest before leaving the hospital with her brother to return to her apartment. It was as she slept that night when Loki returned. He was being selfish and he knew that, but after that time by the river, he realised how much he had missed her. He missed his sister.
That was why he had decided that he could control her dreams. She would dream and be with him, but when she woke she would barely remember anything. He controlled the scenery for the dream, taking them back to the library in Asgard. Sitting on the chaise longue, he waited for Ella to walk in. She did so after a few moments, dressed in her long flowing pink gown, her hair in curls and piled on top of her head.
"Loki," she said, "what are you doing here? Am I dreaming?"
"If I am here then it is because you have summoned me," Loki lied to his sister. It was best for her to think that she was in control. "Your magic can cause you to control dreams. I imagine that might be what is happening if I am here."
"Weird," Ella mumbled and walked into the library, looking around at all the books before smirking to her brother. "Seems weird that I would dream the library up, I always hated coming here to learn about boring things that never entertained me."
"You always were adverse to studying," Loki said and stood up, hands clasped behind his back as he wandered around the opposite side of the library to Ella, mirroring her movements. She came outside to the balcony, looking over Asgard as Loki stood in the archway. Turning her head over her shoulder, she glanced back to him.
"This does feel real," she commented.
"The imagination can be a strong thing," he assured her. "It usually shows us what we want to see most."
"You were always the one who I wanted to see the most," she said, voice sad and Loki felt his throat clench at her solemn expression. Stepping towards him, she reached out and took hold of his cheek, brushing his hair behind his ear. "It's been a shit day, Loki."
"Such unbecoming language for a Princess of Asgard," he teased her and she moved her hand to shove him in the shoulder before she felt him reach for her hand. Leading her to the seat, he sat down and she copied him as he dropped her hand and rested his arm over the back of the chair. "What is amiss, Ella?"
"I…well you would not know, but ever since you died I went to Midgard to get away from here," Ella said, looking around the library. "I kind of developed feelings for Steve Rogers when I was working with him…he told me that he loved me, but I couldn't say it back. I told him that I cared for him. I mean, I do care for him deeply, but I don't love him."
"Well this is a turn of events," Loki said, brow furrowing, "Steve Rogers…really?"
"He is sweet," Ella said. "He is kind, considerate and very much a gentleman. I enjoyed spending time with him and I did feel something more than friendship, but it shouldn't feel forced, should it? Telling someone that you love them should not cause you to freeze up."
"I confess you have not come to the expert on love, Ella," Loki said and she did laugh then, shaking her head.
"I guess I didn't," she agreed with him. "Anyway, I am leaving Midgard with Thor. There is chaos in the Nine Realms and I have agreed to go and help him restore order. I have no idea what father is doing to stop it."
"Odin is old," Loki responded. "He probably does not know how to stop what is happening anymore."
"He is still Odin," Ella retorted. "It does not matter, I am going with him. I can always return to Midgard should I need to."
"And you are certain that going with Thor is the best option?"
"I want to be with him," Ella nodded. "I missed him while I have been gone. Besides, I know that he is a better fighter than I am, but I feel that I can look out for him. That is what I should be doing."
"I would much prefer for you to return to Asgard where it is safe."
Ella laughed and leaned against his side, her hair falling against his neck as he looked down at her. "Of course you would," Ella responded. "But I need to do this, Loki. I…I'm not the same as when you were here with me."
"I know," Loki said. "You're stronger. You're a fighter. Mother would be proud."
"Do you think so?" Ella wondered and looked up to him. "She was a great fighter, Loki, and her magic is so much better than mine. A part of me wonders what she would think if she was still here. I still wonder if she would have preferred me to have married and settled down."
"No," Loki said with a shake of his head, "she realised that life was not what you wanted. Anything you do would make her proud. Believe me on that."
Ella reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly. "She would be proud of you too," she said to him. "You risked everything for us, Loki. You died protecting me…and I…I feel so lost without you still. I miss you so much."
"Just as I miss you," Loki promised his sister. "I miss you terribly."
Wrapping her arms around him, she held tightly onto him as he startled at her sudden movement. His own arms went around her after a few seconds, his chin resting on the top of her head as he knew that he would have to leave again soon, regardless of how much he would prefer not to.
…
A/N: Do let me know what you think!