Rage 2: to those about to write
Disclaimer: nope, don't own Ranma ½ or any of it's characters, you want someone else
Hi, it's me, you know, Ranma Saotome of the Saotome school of Anything Goes Martial Arts, I'm sure you know about me.. HEY!! I'm speaking to you, writers of fanfiction, I want to ask you a question.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ME? Are you a bunch of sadists or something? You bring me up just to put me down? You think giving me godlike abilities will make up for screwing my live up more then Rumiko Takahashi ever did? My life is screwed up enough already and what do you do? You make my curse permenant, you make me were a goddamn fuku, or you change me into a c-c-c-c-ca-ca.. one of those things, or you make me a heartless warrior-you make me go through training that is worse then whatever pops would do. then again, he probably would if he had the brain power to think of it. I've died a thousand deaths, been through two thousand rebirths, I've loved and hated the same people and prosecuted by certain "gods," or at least people who'd like to think they were!
Question: what did I ever do to deserve this? Huh? I try to be good. sure, I get the proverbial foot wedged up my mouth every now and again, I got more fiancées then anyone has a right to have, and a curse that changes me into a girl, half my friends want to kill me and the other half just wants me for my body. (they don't love me, they just love my doggy style!) Akane, well, she's an uncute violent tomboy who'd probably end up getting arrested for spousal abuse sooner or later. Shampoo, not as violent, but what's up with all that magic and drugs? Huh? Ukyo, gross, that's like marrying my brother or something. Kodashi? Well, she's just a psycho-hose beast that should be locked away in a padded cell. You think my father loves me? How does he love me, let me count the ways. 1) neko-ken 2) sells me for food as if I'm some kind of whore 3) uses my own honor against me. my own fucking honor he traps me into doing things that would break a lesser man, If you call that love, I want nothing to do with it. My mother?
Hmph. my mother, she's worse, she abandoned me to be with that worthless pile of rhinoceros dung! Where was she when I needed her? Huh? Where was she when I cried myself to sleep when pops first took me and left home? Where was she when pops would beat me to close to death in the name of the "Art," huh? Where was she when pops threw me into a pit of starving cats with nothing but fish sausage as clothes? Where was she when I needed a mother's love? No, what I got was a seppuku contract that could clearly mean my death if ever we meet!
And you, writers of fanfiction, you're even worse!! Being raped by Mr. Tendo or even Ryoga.eww. Ryoga? Don't even want to think about those! Or perhaps you think it's funny that I decide to become a girl permanently while saving the world in a short skirt while having lesbian affairs with the girl scouts in a bus full of nuns! Yes, having affairs with deamons is also on top of my list, it's right next to suddenly being transported to a different dimension to get the shit beat out of my by giant robots while singing "I want Candy" in a 15 years old body. Yes, that's always fun.
Another question-if I was in a potentionally hazardous environment, do you think I'd announce to all that I was a martial artist?? I might as well where a red leather jacket with 3 white circles inside each other! Or a hat that says "over here!! I'm just waiting to die." I might as well announce a new national Japanese holiday-"pile on Ranma day" where every major as well as minor entity or martial artist just try to kick the shit out of me!
Next time you decide to push me in a pit full of tigers. just think about it, what if someone pushed you in a pit full of tigers, see how much you would like it!
Disclaimer: nope, don't own Ranma ½ or any of it's characters, you want someone else
Hi, it's me, you know, Ranma Saotome of the Saotome school of Anything Goes Martial Arts, I'm sure you know about me.. HEY!! I'm speaking to you, writers of fanfiction, I want to ask you a question.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ME? Are you a bunch of sadists or something? You bring me up just to put me down? You think giving me godlike abilities will make up for screwing my live up more then Rumiko Takahashi ever did? My life is screwed up enough already and what do you do? You make my curse permenant, you make me were a goddamn fuku, or you change me into a c-c-c-c-ca-ca.. one of those things, or you make me a heartless warrior-you make me go through training that is worse then whatever pops would do. then again, he probably would if he had the brain power to think of it. I've died a thousand deaths, been through two thousand rebirths, I've loved and hated the same people and prosecuted by certain "gods," or at least people who'd like to think they were!
Question: what did I ever do to deserve this? Huh? I try to be good. sure, I get the proverbial foot wedged up my mouth every now and again, I got more fiancées then anyone has a right to have, and a curse that changes me into a girl, half my friends want to kill me and the other half just wants me for my body. (they don't love me, they just love my doggy style!) Akane, well, she's an uncute violent tomboy who'd probably end up getting arrested for spousal abuse sooner or later. Shampoo, not as violent, but what's up with all that magic and drugs? Huh? Ukyo, gross, that's like marrying my brother or something. Kodashi? Well, she's just a psycho-hose beast that should be locked away in a padded cell. You think my father loves me? How does he love me, let me count the ways. 1) neko-ken 2) sells me for food as if I'm some kind of whore 3) uses my own honor against me. my own fucking honor he traps me into doing things that would break a lesser man, If you call that love, I want nothing to do with it. My mother?
Hmph. my mother, she's worse, she abandoned me to be with that worthless pile of rhinoceros dung! Where was she when I needed her? Huh? Where was she when I cried myself to sleep when pops first took me and left home? Where was she when pops would beat me to close to death in the name of the "Art," huh? Where was she when pops threw me into a pit of starving cats with nothing but fish sausage as clothes? Where was she when I needed a mother's love? No, what I got was a seppuku contract that could clearly mean my death if ever we meet!
And you, writers of fanfiction, you're even worse!! Being raped by Mr. Tendo or even Ryoga.eww. Ryoga? Don't even want to think about those! Or perhaps you think it's funny that I decide to become a girl permanently while saving the world in a short skirt while having lesbian affairs with the girl scouts in a bus full of nuns! Yes, having affairs with deamons is also on top of my list, it's right next to suddenly being transported to a different dimension to get the shit beat out of my by giant robots while singing "I want Candy" in a 15 years old body. Yes, that's always fun.
Another question-if I was in a potentionally hazardous environment, do you think I'd announce to all that I was a martial artist?? I might as well where a red leather jacket with 3 white circles inside each other! Or a hat that says "over here!! I'm just waiting to die." I might as well announce a new national Japanese holiday-"pile on Ranma day" where every major as well as minor entity or martial artist just try to kick the shit out of me!
Next time you decide to push me in a pit full of tigers. just think about it, what if someone pushed you in a pit full of tigers, see how much you would like it!