Jena, Tucker, Simmons, Grif, and Caboose stood up on top of their stage with each of their respective chosen lieutenants below them. Simmons cleared his throat when he began.

"Hello. Welcome, everyone. Thank you for joining us here. Why don't we go down the line and introduce ourselves?"

"Hi." Caboose said. "Yes. My name is Michael J. Caboose."

"Hi, Michael." Replied all the recruits.

"No, Caboose." Simmons said. "I meant the recruits. Why would we need to introduce ourselves? They already know us."

"Yes," Caboose said, "But do they know the real us?"

"What does that even mean?"

"Well, that is a very interesting question, Jena. Why don't you elaborate on those feelings?"

Tucker groaned. "Look, just tell us your name."

"Along with a fun fact about yourself." Simmons added.

"Excuse me." Said Caboose's lieutenant. "Permission to speak, sir?"

"Uh, go for it?" Tucker asked.

"Thank you, sir. Lieutenant John…"

"Hey, G.I. Joe, will you drop the act?" Grif asked. "We don't have all day."

"Oh. Very good, sir. My friends call me Smith. I've served the New Republic faithfully for several years, and I believe Captain Caboose is one of the wisest individuals I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, sir."

"Great. Another kiss-ass." Grif groaned.

"You mean our Caboose?" Jena asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

"This guy. Right here." Jena pointed at Caboose's direction.

"Correct."

"…The blue one."

"Okay. Who's next?"

"That'd be me. The name's Rachel Brooke, and I'm looking for a hot guy to have fool around with."

"I'm looking to fill that role if you can fill my role. Bow-chika-bow-wow!"

"Tucker, no!" Jena said. "I won't have you violating my soldiers. All right, Simmons. Let's get to your lieutenant."

"Hello, everyone. I'm Katie Jensen. I enjoy vehicle maintenance, biology…" Suddenly, Katie began to choke out. She struggled to breathe as she fell to the ground.

"Uh, should we do something?" Jena asked.

Katie was finally able to breathe again and stand back up. "Sorry. Choked on my own spit."

"Simmons, what the eff is this?" Tucker asked.

"It was either her or the really hot one that plays volleyball."

"Then what the eff is this?"

"She makes me less nervous, okay? Just leave me alone!"

"I'm Bitters," said Grif's lieutenant, "And my fun fact is that I don't have a fun fact."

"Classic maverick." Grif said proudly.

"And last but not least…" Tucker groaned knowing who was about to speak next. "Private Palomo. Slayer of women. Wooer of evil. Wait…"

"Is that your fun fact?" Simmons asked.

"Oh. My fun fact. Uh… OH! I'm the only surviving member of Green Team. Suck on that."

"I effing hate you, Palomo." Tucker commented.

"All right then." Jena said. "As you've all been informed, this team has come together for the sole purpose of rescuing the remaining survivors of a UNSC shipwreck from several months back. We all know them as Strike, Donut, Agent Washington, and Sarge."

"And maybe a a Spanish-speaking robot named Lopez." Grif added.

"And maybe an adorable robot named Freckls." Caboose added.

"We get it." Tucker said. "The point is, we've got only five days to train you guys, so we're getting started right now. Any questions?"

"Who is leading this team?" Smith asked.

"I am." Said all the captains at the same time. "What?"

"Obviously, I'm the one who should be leading this." Simmons said. "I'm the most logical of the group."

"Bullshit." Tucker said.

"I'm the one who set up this entire meeting."

"And this meeting blows dicks." Grif said.

"Why do you even want to be leader, Grif?" Jena asked. "That's a lot of responsibility and you hate that."

"Well, I'm really starting to get used to all this praise and pampering, and I don't wanna risk losing it all to one of you jerks."

"Well, I think there's an easy way to settle this." Caboose said. "Raise your hand if you were the leader of a team any time before joining this army."

"Whatever. That was a fluke." Simmons said.

"And I forgot to raise my hand."

"Hey, you're looking for experience," Tucker said, "So far, I'm the only one who's been on an actual mission."

Grif gave a fake cough to cover what he said next. "Two people died."

"Did everyone just forget?" Jena said. "Back in the Clone Wars, which covered hundreds of planets, the Jedi were natural leaders."

"Yeah, and how did that work out for them again?" Grif asked.

"…That's hurtful."

"Excuse me." Smith said. "We could always vote."

Everyone turned to each other realizing the obvious solution.

SIMMONS

"My fellow soldiers. If you elect me as your leader, you're not just voting for a kind, well-manner's leader, you're voting for victory. I've overseen countless skirmishes and calculated my opponent's every move. And although some people may not count Dungeons and Dragons as an acceptable example of military expertise, I beg to differ. A vote for Dick Simmons is a vote for America!"

"…But we're not in America." Brooke pointed out. "We're not even on Earth."

"…Eff!"

CABOOSE

"And I will put Kool-Aids in all the water fountains! And we won't have to wear uniforms anymore! And Principal Kimball will allow us… DOUBLE RECESS! Recess, recess, recess…"

"Caboose, you're not running for class president." Tucker reminded.

"No, don't you see?" Smith asked. "We won't need uniforms because the war will finally be over.

Kimball will send us out into the world and we'll never have to raise another gun ever again. By God, he has such a way with words."

"Is this guy for real?" Grif asked.

"Wait, what about the Kool-Aid in the water fountains?" Jena asked.

"Oh, yeah. That sounds awesome."

GRIF

"…Dibs."

"What?" Jena asked.

"I call dibs on the team. Dibs."

"You can't call dibs on the team!" Tucker said.

"…You sure?"

"Grif!" Simmons cried out.

"All right! Whatever! I don't wanna be leader anyway."

TUCKER

"S'up guys. Tucker here. Uh, speech, speech… Oh. I've always said I'm a lover and not a fighter. Looking at you, Brooke."

"Aww. You flatter me."

"Tucker," Jena said, "If you keep trying to flirt with my soldiers, I'm going to make you regret it."

"Sheesh. Sounds like somebody's jealous."

JENA

"Okay. So… I don't have much experience as a leader, but…"

"Oh, my God!" Felix said as he walked up to the meeting. "Tell me you guys haven't been standing around talking all morning."

Jena sighed. "Look, guys. I don't really care who's leading this. My friends are in danger and we're seriously low on time. Now, I don't know much about being a military leader, but I know that whatever happens, I'm going to be responsible for everything. That is, if I'm chosen."

"…I vote for Jena." Katie said.

"Yeah, I vote for Jena." Bitters said.

"Me too." Smith said.

"Yeah." Palomo said.

"I'd prefer if we would follow one of the men, but I guess I'll have to live with this." Brooke said.

"Well, Jena, it looks like you got the job." Grif said. "And don't worry, we won't go Order 66 on you."

"Great." Jena said without any enthusiasm.

"Yay. Happy for you." Felix said. "So, did you guys wanna start training at some point? Or, sorry, would you prefer to keep dicking around? Because by all means, I could watch this train wreck all day. Really, it's like the Hindenburg Footage. You ever see that. Just absolutely breathtaking… until you realize everyone's screwed."

After outfitting everyone with cameras in their helmets, Jena stepped up to the recruits. She was there with Simmons and Tucker.

"What's the point of this again?" Bitters asked.

"This is part of a method of making you better soldiers." Jena asked. "Simmons, care to explain?"

"Jensen and I have installed capture software into all of our helmets, allowing us to transmit what we saw on the battlefield to a local server."

"But Captain Isa isn't wearing a helmet." Smith said.

"Last time I wore a helmet, that was when my last transport ship crashed." Jena said. "This is just for the sake of the rest of you."

"Wait. Do these cameras only record on the battlefield or all the time?" Palomo asked

"All the time. Duh." Simmons answered.

"Uh, I don't know about this. What if it records us doing something embarrassing? Like looking at Jensen's butt or something?"

"Excuse me?!" Jensen asked.

"Just don't look at Jensen's butt, Palomo." Jena said.

"Well, now, I'm way more aware of her butt than usual and it's throwing me off!"

"Palomo!"

"You know what? I think I'll just look at the ceiling."

"I still don't see how this is supposed to make us better." Bitters said.

"Back during Jedi training, I would have my droid record footage of my lightsaber skills." Jena said. "While looking back at them, I would see what forms were perfect and which needed work. I figured we could do the same with our battle tactics."

"So it's like football coaches reviewing clips of past games." Smith said.

"I've never played football, but whatever makes sense to you."

"Personally, I would see it as like a sex camera and…"

"Tucker!"

"All right." Grif said as he came in with Caboose. "We're good to go."

"You set up the training weapons?" Simmons asked.

"I told someone else to set up the training weapons."

"You make a great manager."

"I've said it for years."

"Sorry. I meant terrible. You'd make a terrible manager."

"Whatever. You say toh-may-toh…"

"And so does everyone else." Jena interrupted. "All right, everyone. Our mission today will be to disarm and apprehend an enemy soldier."

"Take out one guy?" Brooke asked. "That's easy."

"That soldier is Felix."

Felix, who was sharpening his knifes, overheard their briefing and was shocked at what was said. "What?"

"Here's what I'm thinking." Jena said. "Felix is the best fighter in the New Republic. He can take out like ten federal soldiers. If we can apprehend him, we may have a good start in preparing for the real thing."

"Hold on." Felix protested. "I don't agree to this."

"You don't have to." Tucker said. "Just do what you normally do. But know that you'll have a giant bullseye on your back."

"Alright. Fine. Bring it on, tough guy."

"I will. And when we capture you, you're gonna tell Kimball that we're approved for the mission."

"Uh, Tucker." Jena said. "I said it's a good start. No one said anything about this being the last

thing we do."

"Jena, we've only got a few days. This has to be all."

"It's not enough. We're talking about facing off fifty well-trained federal soldiers and possibly Locus. Beating one man isn't enough."

"It's gonna have to. Come on. Our friends are in trouble."

"Yeah, I can see you've really to the leadership skills, Jena." Felix said. "If you need me, I've got a schedule to keep." He continued walking away.

Jena sighed. "Look, Tucker. Clearly, we can't agree on what to do after this exercise. So let's just do this and we'll cross that bridge when we get there."

"We got this." Tucker said confidently.

After their training exercise, the squad joined up at the theater room to address the digital crew, McCallister and Ghanoush.

"Thanks for joining us, everyone." McCallister said. "Private Ghanoush and I were given the task of editing down all the footage from your training session."

"We took what we believe to be some of the more… eye-opening moments from today's events in hopes that they might help you strategize in the future." Ghanoush continued.

"Like a highlight reel." Simmons said.

"Well, like a reel." Ghanoush corrected.

They turned on the screen to look at the helmet cam footage. The first minute was basically just Palomo talking to no one. Tucker had the two fast forward to the actual exercise where the team stalked Felix from behind a rock.

"Okay. Felix is over there." Jena said in the footage as she knelt down to her team. "We just need to catch him off-guard. If we blind him, we'll surround him."

"Understood." Grif said. "Bitters, hand me a flashbang."

"Oh, right. Um… About that… I don't have any."

"I told you to grab them."

"Yeah, I wasn't really listening."

"What?"

"World's… worst… manager."

"Let's not argue semantics, Simmons." Grif said.

"That's not what that word means." Bitters said.

"Does anybody have a grenade?!" Jena asked impatiently.

"I gave mine to Caboose." Smith said.

Jena widened her eyes realizing what would happen next. "Oh, no!"

"Fire in the hole." Caboose said before throwing his grenade right at the side of the rock. It bounced back and landed right in between everyone.

What happened next was a bright flash that shorted out all the camera footage. The cameras also caught the sound of everyone panicking.

Back in the present day, McCallister and Ghanoush laughed at what they just saw. Everyone else wasn't amused.

"I could watch this for hours!" Ghanoush said.

"Jesus Christ, how long is this video?" Grif asked.

"Hours. I just effing said it. Pay attention."

"Does it get any better?" Jena asked.

"Define better."

Jena sighed. "All right. Let's try again."

For the rest of the day, all the recruits and their captains have been training, albeit poorly. It all began with a jogging session. Caboose was undoubtedly the fastest among them, but Grif passed out o the ground.

Felix was standing around bragging to one of the rebels. Tucker figured that if he was busy being egotistical, he could tackle him from behind. Sadly, Felix saw him coming and activated his light shield at the very last second knocking the Green Team leader back. Meanwhile, some of the other soldiers were watching from above. However, Felix caught too easily and shot at them. Thankfully, he was only using a training gun.

After a push-up session (where Bitters and Grif were slacking) Tucker tried to leap at Felix. However, he overshot his jump and landed in a ditch. Felix just brushed it off and continued. That's when Brooke crossed his path. She flirted with him, but Felix knew what was going on. He quickly turned around and aimed his gun at Jena's face point-blank. She froze in place at this embarrassing defeat.

Jensen thought she had Felix in her sniper shot, but before she could shoot, she sneezed. Her snot covered her scope, so she couldn't see. No one else had a shot at him, especially Palomo who was staring at Jensen's butt.

Later on, Tucker ran right up the hill above Felix with a grenade in his hand. He pulled the pin and threw the grenade which Felix caught easily. After a brief counting, he made it clear he was about to throw it back. Tucker tried to run, but he couldn't escape.

Felix was in a room where Simmons and Grif were stationed just outside of. Simmons turned to his partner and gave several hand gestures that Grif clearly did not understand. That's when Felix walked out to catch them and punch them.

That was all the footage shown of their entire day of humiliation. The theater room was packed with laughing rebels. Jena and the others, however, were not amused at all.

The Padawan looked and saw Tucker walking up to where Felix was. She was curious, so she followed.

"Hey!" Tucker said to the bounty hunter.

"You know, I have to admit, I've never seen these guys laugh so much before."

"Why are you being so hard on us?"

"Come again?"

"All we need is a green light from you, and Kimball lets us save our friends. So why the hell can't you just lighten up for once?"

"Because you will die!"

"He's right, Tucker." Jena agreed. "Look, it's noble that you want to save our friends. I want to save them too. But we can't go over and blindly run into danger before we are ready. We need to follow the plan."

"Screw the plan!" Tucker yelled. "We've got to save Wash and the others! Jena, are you seriously suggesting we leave them there to die? We just need the approval to go and save them!"

"So what? You think an approval is enough to break into a heavily-armed facility and take down military soldiers? That a big thumbs-up will win the war?" Jena asked. "Look, I don't like it either, but this is the way I was trained. Master Geenpa always had a plan for me, and if things were different, he would have made me a proud knight for the Republic. So now, I have to live by his example and train the same way."

"Except we're not Jedi!" Tucker yelled out. "We're not a bunch of psychic swordsmen from outer space! We're a bunch of misfits like Kimball said! We don't have any other choice!"

Felix sighed. "Look. The choice isn't really up to me. Whether you go or not is ultimately up to Kimball. But risking the lives of more people? That's on you."

"I thought you didn't care about losing people." Tucker said.

"I don't. But you do." With those last words, Felix walked away.

Jena looked over to her friend. "I'm sorry, Tucker. I'm doing the best I can. I just… don't know what to do. Why don't you rest up with the others?"

"…Yeah. Whatever." Tucker said as he sulked away.

Jena placed her hand on her face and rubbed it down. She groaned in exhaustion before a familiar voice caught her.

"Couldn't have said it better myself."

"Oh. General Kimball." Jena greeted. "Our team is… progressing."

"I saw." Kimball said. "Look, can you come with me? We need to talk."

"Can it not be as depressing as the talk we're having right now?"

"Well, I can't make any promises."

Author's Note: Happy late Star Wars Day. I wish I could've uploaded this a few days ago. But I'm glad to make it here now.

As you can tell, I gave Jena the leadership role other than Tucker. That was because I'd like her to have a big role in this and not just be another captain. So yeah, I made Jena the leader.

Any and all comments are welcome.