Chapter 2: Fruit Loops
A mysterious man wielding a katana walked through the entrance of Level one of Complex 5. EinMk.II silently crept down the hallway leading to the weapons production facility of the Air Force base. Two sleeping guards blocked the doorway so Ein decided to quickly dispose of them. "What the? The Air Force?! Damn Otacon, he said this place was abandoned besides the possibility of some small terrorist group...weak fool. I wonder could the Air Force be involved????" The hacker lowered his katana from their throats and stepped away. Unlike Snake and Otacon, Ein's blood was not filled with nanomachines so he was unable to contact them by codec. Ein had been briefed by Snake upon arrival but now he was unaware of the new info leaked by Arsenal's disk. He then hit crucial pressure points on the two guards and carefully slumped their bodies onto the cold floor. Once inside Ein noticed a soldier entering the weapons factory from the kitchen and dormitory area of Complex 5. The sentry was preoccupied with the bowl of cereal he carried in one hand and the silver cage in his left. "Awwww...its soooo soggy!" said the hungry soldier. "Squawk! Toucan is da man, Toucan is da man!" Inside the silver cage perched a large Toucan that could um talk.... "Quiet birdie, we shouldn't awake the other guys, there still sleeping! I wouldn't want them to rough me up again...." The toucan replied by flapping its wings crazily like it had a bad case of turrets syndrome. "Hey Squawk! Intruder on the left! Intruder on the left!" "Oh shit!" said Ein as he dove behind a corner to hide himself. "Shut up silly bird thingy! No one is here!" said the guard as he took a seat and began to eat his fruit loops. "Why *munch munch* am I forced *munch munch* to baby-sit *munch munch* the colonel's bird *munch munch*?!" "Idiotic fool...." chuckled Ein. He quickly looked through the scope of his silenced Sniper Rifle and aimed at the enemy's forehead. As he pulled the trigger the hacker thought of recent past events. After his apartment had been blown up 6 months ago by the legendary Solid Snake, he joined Philanthropy. Soon Snake and Ein had become great allies and had arrived at this island off the keys, in order to rid the world of another Metal Gear model. The bullet fired began to glow as it rushed toward the soldier's skull.
"Ooops....I dropped my spoon." As the distracted sentry bent over to pick up his spoon the bullet missed and bounced off the birdcage and into a glass window. "Huh? What was that?! Ill check later, too hungry...." "Pure luck, I never miss!" said Ein shocked that the soldier somehow dodged the bullet due to his own stupidity. "Try again! Hurry up and kill this stupid bastard! Squawk!" The master hacker shot once again but this time the guard raised his cereal bowl.... "Cool! Such fine China! Look birdie-" the soldier was interrupted as the bowl cracked apart as the bullet flew through it. "Awwwww man, now the guys are gonna think I wet myself again! Something's not right... Ill check later, I need dry pants!" Ein looked shocked as he watched the dim-witted guard. "I'm wasting too much time, screw stealth...." Ein pulled out his M16, shot up the entire place and killed the soldier in the process.
"Must.... keep.... it.... mellow" said Ein out of breath. Next Ein dragged the man's body and put it in an empty room to prevent his comrades from discovering it. As he walked over to armory room, the toucan somehow opened up its cage and flew out. "Squawk, man down! Red alert squawk!" "Now to take care of another nuisance..." Ein then thought to himself that it wasn't right to kill the defenseless bird even if it could become a major priority... "Brink it on! Squawk!" shrieked the toucan as its eyes began to twitch. The toucan's wings looked like a rainbow as it hovered in the air. It was very fat and about 2 times the size of the normal species.... Its beak had been sharpened due to incessant eating of the Planters nuts that lay spilled in its cage. "AHHHHH DIE! Squawk!" The bird began pecking Ein's forehead repeatedly "Stop it you damn whatever the hell you are!" Ein unsheathed his katana and prepared to strike but couldn't since the toucan had dug its claws deep into Ein's scalp.... "YOU BASTARD!!!" Ein ripped the bird off of his scalp and began to choke it angrily. "I wasn't going to kill you but now I regret that choice. I still won't kill you but you will pay!" Ein slit its wings to prevent it from flying. Next he threw it on the cold concrete floor with extreme force and began to stomp on it continuously. "Cruelty to animals...squawk..." "I'm losing my temper...I gotta keep it mellow...this just isn't my day..."
(No toucans were hurt before or during the writing of this chapter.) (excuse the strangeness of the chapter.)
A mysterious man wielding a katana walked through the entrance of Level one of Complex 5. EinMk.II silently crept down the hallway leading to the weapons production facility of the Air Force base. Two sleeping guards blocked the doorway so Ein decided to quickly dispose of them. "What the? The Air Force?! Damn Otacon, he said this place was abandoned besides the possibility of some small terrorist group...weak fool. I wonder could the Air Force be involved????" The hacker lowered his katana from their throats and stepped away. Unlike Snake and Otacon, Ein's blood was not filled with nanomachines so he was unable to contact them by codec. Ein had been briefed by Snake upon arrival but now he was unaware of the new info leaked by Arsenal's disk. He then hit crucial pressure points on the two guards and carefully slumped their bodies onto the cold floor. Once inside Ein noticed a soldier entering the weapons factory from the kitchen and dormitory area of Complex 5. The sentry was preoccupied with the bowl of cereal he carried in one hand and the silver cage in his left. "Awwww...its soooo soggy!" said the hungry soldier. "Squawk! Toucan is da man, Toucan is da man!" Inside the silver cage perched a large Toucan that could um talk.... "Quiet birdie, we shouldn't awake the other guys, there still sleeping! I wouldn't want them to rough me up again...." The toucan replied by flapping its wings crazily like it had a bad case of turrets syndrome. "Hey Squawk! Intruder on the left! Intruder on the left!" "Oh shit!" said Ein as he dove behind a corner to hide himself. "Shut up silly bird thingy! No one is here!" said the guard as he took a seat and began to eat his fruit loops. "Why *munch munch* am I forced *munch munch* to baby-sit *munch munch* the colonel's bird *munch munch*?!" "Idiotic fool...." chuckled Ein. He quickly looked through the scope of his silenced Sniper Rifle and aimed at the enemy's forehead. As he pulled the trigger the hacker thought of recent past events. After his apartment had been blown up 6 months ago by the legendary Solid Snake, he joined Philanthropy. Soon Snake and Ein had become great allies and had arrived at this island off the keys, in order to rid the world of another Metal Gear model. The bullet fired began to glow as it rushed toward the soldier's skull.
"Ooops....I dropped my spoon." As the distracted sentry bent over to pick up his spoon the bullet missed and bounced off the birdcage and into a glass window. "Huh? What was that?! Ill check later, too hungry...." "Pure luck, I never miss!" said Ein shocked that the soldier somehow dodged the bullet due to his own stupidity. "Try again! Hurry up and kill this stupid bastard! Squawk!" The master hacker shot once again but this time the guard raised his cereal bowl.... "Cool! Such fine China! Look birdie-" the soldier was interrupted as the bowl cracked apart as the bullet flew through it. "Awwwww man, now the guys are gonna think I wet myself again! Something's not right... Ill check later, I need dry pants!" Ein looked shocked as he watched the dim-witted guard. "I'm wasting too much time, screw stealth...." Ein pulled out his M16, shot up the entire place and killed the soldier in the process.
"Must.... keep.... it.... mellow" said Ein out of breath. Next Ein dragged the man's body and put it in an empty room to prevent his comrades from discovering it. As he walked over to armory room, the toucan somehow opened up its cage and flew out. "Squawk, man down! Red alert squawk!" "Now to take care of another nuisance..." Ein then thought to himself that it wasn't right to kill the defenseless bird even if it could become a major priority... "Brink it on! Squawk!" shrieked the toucan as its eyes began to twitch. The toucan's wings looked like a rainbow as it hovered in the air. It was very fat and about 2 times the size of the normal species.... Its beak had been sharpened due to incessant eating of the Planters nuts that lay spilled in its cage. "AHHHHH DIE! Squawk!" The bird began pecking Ein's forehead repeatedly "Stop it you damn whatever the hell you are!" Ein unsheathed his katana and prepared to strike but couldn't since the toucan had dug its claws deep into Ein's scalp.... "YOU BASTARD!!!" Ein ripped the bird off of his scalp and began to choke it angrily. "I wasn't going to kill you but now I regret that choice. I still won't kill you but you will pay!" Ein slit its wings to prevent it from flying. Next he threw it on the cold concrete floor with extreme force and began to stomp on it continuously. "Cruelty to animals...squawk..." "I'm losing my temper...I gotta keep it mellow...this just isn't my day..."
(No toucans were hurt before or during the writing of this chapter.) (excuse the strangeness of the chapter.)