Chapter 16: Rally Around

"Rachel."

Someone gently shakes her shoulder. She raises her head, blinking slowly. Her friends are eyeing her worriedly. Crap. She must have dozed off. Not good.

Quinn frowns softly. "Do you want to reschedule? We can leave if you need to sleep."

Rachel rubs her eyes and sits up more. Looking around, she notes that they're still waiting on Brittany and Santana. Everyone else is here. And watching her doze off mid-conversation.

"Or we could hold a group nap time." Sam suggests, grinning.

Since he's sitting on the floor nearest to her, Mercedes uses her foot to bump his head. Her fellow diva turns back to her. "We're just hanging out. We don't mind meeting up another time, Diva."

"No, I'm alright. Sorry. I just…." Perhaps a version of the truth will appease them for now. "I sort of had a double attack last night." Not a lie, just not the complete truth.

They sit up in alarm. "What? Another double?"

"Not like before." She assures them, though she feels it should be fairly obvious. "Moderate followed by mild."

The relax somewhat. Conversations resume until the last two finally arrive. After plenty of teasing and mild complaining about having to wait, everyone finds somewhere to sit. Kurt nervously clears his throat, getting their attention.

"So, I need to start by apologizing. I brought you all here under slightly false pretenses." They frown at him, waiting for an explanation. "We are going to hang out and watch holiday movies like I suggested. But, um….we have two things to discuss first." Kurt bounces slightly, eyes shining and smiling. "The first thing is that Blaine asked me out!"

Blaine smiles happily. The friends spend a few minutes congratulating the happy couple. Most tease them "it's about time" or "took you long enough" which doesn't bother the two in the slightest. The boys are practically giddy as they retell the story, hands tightly clasped.

"I can finally call this boy my boyfriend." Blaine announces proudly.

Rachel giggles. "Aaawww, your boyfriend." She had been the first person Kurt told, so she already knew, and already congratulated the boys.

Kurt gives her a playful glare. "Excuse me, little miss. When you and Finn first started dating, you didn't use his name for a week. It was all 'my boyfriend' this and 'my boyfriend' that."

Rachel blushes and shrugs while everyone else either "aaawww"s or laughs. Finn smirks proudly, coming over to kiss her. The friends chat happily about relationships and romance for a little longer. Rachel begins to feel guilty, not wanting to ruin their good time. Then again, the rest of the boys don't seem particularly thrilled with this talk of romance. Mike and Puck start thumb wrestling. Seeing their antics, Artie rolls to Sam and initiates his own battle. Finn looks bored, but his eyes keep straying to her. She smiles slightly at him.

Santana gets them back on track. "Alright, Lady Lips," she addresses Kurt, who glares at her half-heartedly, "you said there were two things to discuss. What's the other?"

Everyone looks at him expectantly. He flounders, not sure how to begin. Rachel decides to just dive right in. Rip the bandaid off.

"Me."

Now her friends turn to her, their expressions wary. Despite not knowing for sure what'll be said, Quinn takes her hand. Rachel squeezes it. Rip the bandaid off. Rip the bandaid off. Rip the b—

"I'm in stage 4."

Silence. She watches them carefully. Their faces are in various states of horror. Some seem to be in shock. Some seem to have gotten a confirmation they didn't want. But all of them are clearly upset.

"No."

She looks at Brittany. Her friend has wide, scared eyes.

"Britt—"

"I said no! No!" Brittany's voice is shaking and her eyes fill with tears. "You're not."

Rachel's chin trembles. "I'm sorry, Brittany."

"You said you'd be okay." Her voice is so innocent and hurt. Santana pulls her into an embrace as she starts to cry.

Rachel swallows and tries to get control of her own emotions. Quinn lets go of her other hand and wraps both arms around her. She takes a couple deep breaths, listening to Santana quietly calm Brittany down. The Latina manages to convince the blonde girl to sit back down and curl up against her. Rachel wipes her face with shaking hands. Quinn rests her chin on Rachel's shoulder, their cheeks pressed together. She's surprised how quiet it still is.

"There's still time, right?" Mike asks softly. Desperately.

"Of course there's still time." Santana snaps at him. "They just need to change her medications until the treatments work better."

"Is she right?" Artie asks anxiously.

"I'm right. There's still time." Santana reiterates, though her tone is at odds with her confident words.

"She's…..mostly right." Rachel concedes. "They have started increasing the dosage of my medications. Hopefully that will work better."

"You said mostly right." Quinn accuses. "Explain."

Although it came across as rude, Rachel knows Quinn well enough to understand that fear and worry are driving her bitchy tone. So instead of getting insulted or angry, Rachel simply takes her friend's hand in hers.

"I've been sick for over a year. This all started because my red blood cell count and iron levels were low. My numbers were too low. This whole time, I've been taking daily medication and getting regular treatments. I started with one treatment every other week. Then one every week. Then two treatments every week. I've received over 60 treatments."

Their eyes widen at that number. They're startled. They hadn't realized just how many treatments she'd had.

"Over 60 treatments in just over a year. Every single time, they'd draw my blood and run tests. Every time I met with Dr. Reed he'd share my most recent numbers. Every single time they'd be the same or lower. The point of the treatments is to raise my numbers back up to normal, healthy levels. But every single time, I was told they were holding steady or going down. They never went up. Not once this whole time."

"Wait, how come you never told us this?" Mercedes demands.

"You didn't say anything sooner? You didn't think we'd want to know?" Tina jumps in.

Rachel's jaw drops open slightly. Her white knight comes to the rescue.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Finn bites out. "This is not on her!"

Mercedes glares at him. "But if she—"

"No!" He yells, his face turning red in anger. "She always told us what stage she was in and where her numbers were. Always. She'd stand before us and say 'my numbers are the same' or 'my numbers dropped but I'm still the same stage' or something like that. Just because she didn't phrase it as 'my numbers still haven't gone up' doesn't mean she wasn't still telling us exactly that. It's on us for not realizing what it meant. Her numbers going down meant they weren't going up."

Mercedes' face drops as she realizes he's right. Tina looks down guiltily. She's not the only one. Several others look like they're just realizing it. She looks at Finn gratefully, giving him a small, appreciative smile. He nods back, his face softening.

"I may have downplayed my symptoms for a while, but I was always upfront about my numbers. If they were the same, I told you. If my numbers dropped, I told you. When I transitioned between stages, I always told you right away. If my numbers had gone up at any point, I would have told you."

"I'm sorry, Rach." Mercedes has tears dripping down her cheeks. She nods. She understands.

"The point I was trying to get to is that after 13 months and more than 60 treatments, I haven't been getting better. I've been getting worse. My body hasn't been responding to the treatments as well as they'd hoped and I've been getting weaker. All they've managed to do is slow down the progression of the illness. Not stop or reverse it."

"But that's why they're increasing the dose, right?" Sam verifies. "To get your numbers up."

Rachel nods slowly. "Yes. They are. And I really, really hope it works. Mike, you asked if there's still time. There is. Just…..not much."

"What does that mean?" Noah asks tensely.

She swallows hard. "It means if my body continues to respond to the treatments to the same degree that it has been for the past 13 months, then…I only have about two months left to live."

She imagines the looks on their faces are similar to how she'd looked when she'd been told. They're horrified. Scared. Angry. Devastated. All these emotions and more swim across their faces. Brittany starts sobbing. She clings to Santana, who is breathing harshly and staring at Rachel unblinking. Quinn hugs her tight. Rachel winces at her throbbing bruises, but she wouldn't dream of asking Quinn to loosen her hug. Not right now, at least.

"Two months?" Mike asks weakly.

"Three at the most." She responds quietly.

The tall Asian dancer pulls her off the loveseat and into a fierce embrace. He cries softly onto her shoulder. She rubs his back, trying to ignore the ache his embrace is causing her bruises. Quinn joins in, making it a group hug. Blaine manages to squeeze in as well. At this point, she's not sure if they're holding her or if she's holding them. Perhaps they're simply holding each other. Rachel likes that thought best. She jumps when a loud thud resounds around the room. The group quickly pulls apart to look for the source of the sound.

Uncle Burt's recliner is flipped over. Noah stands next to it, his chest heaving and his muscles taut. He reaches for the coffee table. Finn and Sam grab him before he can touch it. Noah tries to shove them off. A memory comes to mind. Noah's words to her last year.

"I suck at emotions, but I can help with the anger part, at least. I know anger."

No matter what he's actually feeling, he will handle it like it's anger. That's what he knows best. And how does Noah handle anger? With physical aggression. Thankfully, Finn knows this. He and Sam wrestle Noah to the ground. It's not a fight and it's not a game. The boys wrestle with Noah in a way that allows him to release his pent up rage without hurting anyone or anything. He uses all of his strength to try to pull away, grunting, twisting, pulling, pushing. Finn and Sam adjust their positions as necessary to give him enough resistance for him to have to use a lot of force, but not so much that he can't move at all. Rachel is impressed. But also tired, so she retakes her seat and checks on the rest of her friends.

Mercedes and Tina are holding each other and crying quietly. Artie has rolled over to them and rests his hand on Tina's back. After leaving the group hug, Blaine went back to sitting with Kurt, who is now hugging the crying Warbler. Her brother's face is blotchy and wet, but he's calm. Unlike the others, he and Finn have had several days to deal with this. Mike moves closer to the wrestlers, keeping watch in case he needs to help out. Quinn looks torn between wanting to comfort her fellow cheerleaders and wanting to sit with Rachel again. Rachel smiles gently and tilts her head towards Brittany and Santana. She still appears hesitant, but goes to them. Santana has other ideas, apparently. The feisty Latina shakes her head and points back at Rachel. Quinn returns to her looking relieved. She once again wraps her arms around her.

Unfortunately, there's only so much her bruised torso can take. Quinn hugging her tight earlier hurt, but she could manage it. Then Mike's hug. Then two more people joined in; squeezing and pressing. And now, when the cheer captain squeezes too hard, Rachel can't restrain a soft cry of pain. It is a soft sound, but to her friends it may as well have been a scream. Their attention immediately snaps over to her. Her hands instinctively fly to Quinn's arms, trying to ease them off her bruises. Horrified with herself, Quinn quickly lets go and scoots away. Finn drops his hold on Noah and stares at Rachel intently. Noah stops fighting them and gets to his knees, his eyes also on Rachel.

"I'm sorry! Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Rachel! I didn't mean to hurt you! I'm so sorry!" The popular blonde is rambling, sounding almost hysterical.

Everyone's eyes are on Rachel's pained expression and tensed up body. They're frozen. Everyone except her hero. Finn hurries over and kneels before her.

"Rach?" He asks softly. He rubs his hands lightly over her arms.

She tries to shift to ease the pain, but it aggravates the bruises more and she gasps.

"Bruises hurting?" He guesses.

She nods, eyes closed. "Just….give me a minute."

Her boyfriend carefully helps her reposition herself so that she isn't putting any pressure on her torso. He keeps his grip light on her arms and presses his forehead against hers. After less than a minute, the worst of the pain has faded to a dull throb and her breathing is normal. Kurt and Blaine appear next to her holding ice packs and ace bandages. Her boys get her to slide to the edge of the couch.

"Let's ice them."

Rachel sighs. "Or, we could not, and you could just go get my pain meds."

"Why not both?" Kurt suggests.

Blaine's lips are pressed tightly together. He sits beside her and helps hold her shirt up. Hearing gasps, Rachel looks at her friends. Their eyes are wide. They haven't seen her torso in a while. It's almost entirely covered in bruises in various states of healing. Quinn has both hands over her mouth, tears still coming hard.

"It's alright, Quinn."

"No, it's not. It's really not." She responds fiercely.

"It is. I bruise easily. I'd rather be hugged and deal with a little ache than not be hugged."

"That's more than 'a little ache', Rachel." Mike argues.

"Compared to my attacks, this is indeed just 'a little ache'." She declares.

Instead of making them feel better, this statement has had the opposite effect. Finn smirks at her. "You seriously thought admitting that would help?" She sighs.

He is holding the ice packs in place while Kurt wraps the ace bandage around them to keep them in place. However, they keep slipping. Sam gets up.

"No, dude. That's not how to do it. Here." He moves Kurt out of the way and unwraps it. He starts over, using a different method that keeps them on.

"Not too tight, man." Finn reminds him, watching protectively.

Sam nods. He frowns as he continues to work, his eyes slanting down in concern. Pausing briefly, he whispers to her. "I can count every rib."

She shrugs lightly and whispers back. "No appetite."

Once he's finished, Blaine lowers her shirt. She settles back onto the loveseat. Seeing that she still looks guilty, Rachel quirks a finger at Quinn.

"Get back over here, Fabray." When she hesitates, Rachel steps it up a notch. Or ten. "Dying girl's wish?"

Finn snorts at her morbid humor, but Quinn starts crying harder as she carefully resumes her seat. This time, Rachel carefully snuggles into Quinn's side, and uses her own hand to pull the blonde's arms around her. Quinn finally holds her, but gently.

"You really can hold more firmly than that, Quinn. I'm not going to break that easily."

Kurt returns with a small pill bottle. "Your drugs, my lady."

"These are the mild ones, right? I don't need the strong ones."

Kurt sighs impatiently. "Yes, Rachel. They're the mild ones."

He takes one out and hands it to her. She washes it down with a gulp of water. Once the boys resume their seats, she looks over her friends. They don't seem to know what to do or say. Noah is sitting on the ground with his face pressed into his knees. She hadn't expected him to have the biggest reaction.

"Noah." His head snaps up to her. "You okay?"

He stares at her intensely with bloodshot eyes. "No. The world isn't fucking fair."

"It's really not. But, are you ready for me to explain in a bit more detail? I promise I started with the worst."

He swallows hard. His jaw is clenched tight, but he nods.

"Okay, so….yes, I'm in stage four. No, I'm not terminal. Yes, because of how weak my body has gotten on top of my numbers continuing to drop, if I continues to not respond well to the treatments, I may only have two to three months left to live. But like I said, they're increasing the dosage of my meds. If my body starts responding better, I could still go into remission. Or if my body starts getting stronger, I'll no longer be so close to 'dying'."

"If." Santana's voice is flat.

"Yeah. If. There's a lot of uncertainty."

"Was my dad right? Was what happened on your birthday a result of the increased treatments?" San asks.

"Yes. He was right."

"And now they're increasing the meds of your treatment?"

"Yes."

Santana stares at her. "So….what happened on your birthday could happen again."

Grimly "Yes."

"Son of a bitch."

Quinn figures something else out. "Wait a minute. They're giving you a higher dosage? Doesn't that mean the meds are stronger now?"

Rachel sighs despondently. "Yeah, it does. And I know what your next question is. Yes, that also means the side effects from my treatments are stronger as well. Worse."

"A lot worse." Kurt jumps in, morose. "You've all been with her for treatments. But now…..it's really bad. She has had two treatments with the new dosage. Both time she started shaking halfway through. The first time she vomited profusely. The second time she was so dizzy she couldn't even sit up."

"Fuck!"

A couple chuckles break out. Rachel grins. "My thoughts exactly. Fuck."

Since very few people have heard her curse, and even they only heard it a couple times, her utterance now comes as a shock to all.

"Cursing now, Berry?" Artie teases.

She shrugs lightly. "I think I'm entitled."

Their smiles are as bitter as she feels. She lets them sit silently for a few minutes.

"So….another thing."

"Oh, God. I don't think I can take any more." Tina moans.

"It's pretty minor. And fairly obvious at this point. But….no more school until I'm better. Partially because the higher dosage means my immune system is about to become non-existent. I will catch every little thing that comes around. So while I hope to get many visits from you all while I'm out of school, if you have even the hint of a sniffle, please stay the away from me."

"She's not exaggerating." Finn insists. "Stay the hell away. Dr. Reed said that if she catches so much as a cold, it could kill her."

They nod darkly.

"You said that was only part of it." Tina reminds her.

"Right. Um, the other part is simply because…..I'm too weak. I'm not on bed rest, but I'm supposed to limit my movement." She rolls her eyes. "And my other symptoms are getting worse."

"Worse how?" Brittany questions.

Rachel shifts to get more comfortable, leaning on the arm of the loveseat and holding Quinn's hand. "I get dizzy a lot. Headaches are more frequent and worse. I've been fainting more, that's always fun. Nauseous more. And anything my body decides is exertion leaves me breathless. Stairs. Laughing too hard. Walking too much."

They stare at her slack jawed.

"Don't forget that your appetite is practically gone." Finn chimes in.

She grins. "Compared to you and Noah, no one has much of an appetite."

"Just watching those two eat diminishes my appetite." Artie jokes, shuddering.

"Do you have any good news?" Sam asks her.

She thinks about it. "Depends on your point of view."

He frowns. "Meaning?"

She hesitates. She hesitates too long.

"It's alright, Rachel. You can tell us anything." She's glad Blaine has found his voice.

"The 'good' news is that the doctors are designating a portion of their efforts towards improving my current standard of living." At their blank looks, she goes on. "Most of their focus is on making me better. They still firmly believe that I will get better. But, they're also starting to put some of their focus on making me comfortable. So they sent me home with a box of….drugs, as Kurt put it. All of them are designed to help me feel better in the moment. Keep me comfortable."

"Like the pain meds you just took?"

"Yes. They gave me a couple different types of pain meds for various symptoms and attacks. A couple different meds are for the nausea and vomiting. A sedative to help me sleep if I need it." She hesitates, but names the last one. "And anxiety meds for if I start panicking or freaking out about everything."

They're watching her sadly. They're overwhelmed. She feels bad. She also feels incredibly tired. This has been a good, and very necessary, talk. But exhausting.

"You said it was only good news depending on how you look at it. A box of drugs to make you feel better seems like good news no matter how you look at it." Noah says with a slightly confused frown.

Rachel runs a hand through her hair. "Um, yeah. About that. The box of drugs and their new focus on making me comfortable, is considered 'end of life' care. It's for when doctors want to make you comfortable….in the end. Because they can't heal you, they'll at least make it easier to deal with." Seeing their stricken looks, she hurries to go on. "They specifically said I'm not definitely at the end of my life. I'm not…..they're not talking about hospice or anything. But because they can now give a possible timeframe for if things don't improve, there's a…..potential end in the near future. Just that 'maybe' is enough for it to be considered 'end of life'."

"How are you so calm about this?" Blaine asks, looking anything but calm himself.

She smirks darkly. "On Monday I had a session with my therapist. I talked a lot about how I'm feeling emotionally. I wailed and bawled and sobbed. I screamed myself hoarse in her soundproof closet. I poured everything out. I let it all out. So, yeah. I've dealt with it."

This time, she gets varied reactions. Some are smiling slightly, seeming glad she dealt with her emotions. Some appear devastated that it happened at all. Some still seem shellshocked.

"What can we do?" Mike asks hoarsely. "Is there anything you need from us?"

She smiles slightly at their eager looks. "Yes, actually. There a—" She's cut off by needles stabbing into her chest. She squeezes Quinn's hand. Her face tightens with pain and her body tenses. As she sucks in a couple ragged gasps, someone grabs her other hand and she squeezes it. The mild attack passes quickly, but leaves her drained. Her body slowly becomes less tense and her lungs even more slowly return to taking normal breaths. Lord, she's tired. She leans more heavily against the arm of the chair. Gently, she pulls her hand out of Sam's grasp and presses it over her eyes. No one speaks or otherwise disturbs her. Quinn rubs her other arm. Once she has settled down, she uses her hand to prop up her head "There are things you can do for me." She goes on, her voice tired.

"Okay, wait." Mercedes leans forward, frowning. "I really want to hear what we can do for you, but first I need to ask. Didn't you take a pain pill not long ago?"

"Mercedes…" Kurt warns softly. She waves him off, wanting an answer.

"Yes."

"And it didn't help with the pain at all?"

Rachel presses her lips together firmly before she can speak, responding lowly. "It did."

Mercedes flinches back, understanding Rachel's meaning.

"Are the milds getting worse?" Brittany asks softly, eyes heavy.

"No," Rachel sighs "I'm just getting too tired to hide how much they hurt. The attacks are the same strength they've always been. I'm not."

'Horrified' seems to be the word of the day. She gives them time to let it sink in. Brittany whimpers.

"Q, swap with her." Santana looks to her captain. "Please."

Quinn nods and stands. Brittany takes her place. Rachel knows Brittany wants to hold her but she can't let it happen yet. Instead, she takes Brittany's hand and smiles. Brittany intertwines their fingers. Kurt hugs Mercedes.

"I tried to warn you not to ask." He tells her quietly.

Mercedes sniffles. "You knew?"

He nods. "Finn and I have both known for a while."

"You were about to tell us what we can do for you." Noah reminds her.

She nods. "There are a couple things, actually. First, I need each of you to find a safe and healthy way to deal with this." Most give her wet smiles. A few scoff. "I'm serious. I need you to promise me you're going to find a safe and healthy way to handle this. So no going out and getting drunk or doing something illegal or dangerous. Promise me."

She looks at each of them in turn as they mumble their promises, but holds Noah's gaze the longest. The ornery boy tries to hold firm, but eventually quavers under her pleading gaze. "I promise, Jew-babe."

"What else?" Brittany nudges her.

"Second, I need you to have hope. But to be prepared. I could still get better and go into remission. For me to really believe that, I need you to as well." They nod, determined. "However, we also need to be realistic. They wouldn't have said two months without reason. So hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst."

"That's what my mom keeps saying." Brittany nods.

"I got it from her." Rachel admits. Then goes on. "Third, I…..I need you to…..not be alarmed."

"What do you mean?"

Finn takes over. "She means like, when she fell asleep in the middle of the conversation earlier. Don't be alarmed or surprised. It'll probably start happening more. When she faints, or vomits, or bleeds, or slurs her words, or is crying because her head is hurting. Don't be alarmed. Try to keep calm and know that it's expected."

Again, they grumble their agreement. She's aware it'll probably take them time. They're pros and handling her attacks. Now she'll see if they can become pros at handling her worsening symptoms on a daily basis.

"Rachel, the things you've asked of us seem to be more for our benefit. We'll do them, but is there anything we can actually do….like for you? What you need or want?" Blaine asks.

Rachel recalls a conversation with her grandfather, where he explained that her loved ones would feel better being able to actively do something helpful. She worries, though, that what she wants to ask them to do for her may make them uncomfortable. She plays with Brittany's fingers while she debates how to phrase it. They give her time. They can tell she has something on her mind.

"Don't forget me."

That…..wasn't how she'd meant to phrase it. And she phrased it poorly. Her friends react like she just told them she doubts their love. They look heartbroken and angry. They talk over each other in their haste to reassure her that they would never, could never forget her.

"Rachel, seriously?" Finn struggles to not sound angry. "You think anyone here would forget you? Could forget you?"

She brushes away a tear that slipped out. "I didn't mean it like that. I know you wouldn't forget me. And I'm not even talking about if I die. I mean now. Today. Tomorrow." They frown and share befuddled looks. "I'm not going to be around. You will be going back to school soon. Going on trips, out on dates, to the mall, to parties…living. I'll be sitting at home feeing horrible. I'm…..jealous…..and bitter. I want to do those things and I hate that I can't. But I'm also really, really happy you guys still can. I'm not asking you to stop living your lives because I can't live mine." Her wording strikes something deep in all of them. In herself as well. She'd rather not dwell on it, so she quickly goes on. "I want you to still go out to parties and do fun things without me. I guess what I'm really asking you to do is to just keep doing what you've been doing all along. When I'm not at school you send me messages. You visit after school or on weekends. You join me for my treatments. You've already been….with me. I know that…..it's going to get harder. Not just for me, but for anyone who cares about me. I'm….my symptoms are worse and more frequent. They're constant." She stops to wipe more tears. Tina hands her a tissue. "It's not fun for me to experience and it's not fun for the people with me to watch or have to help me through. But…..I don't want to be alone, even when I don't feel well. Especially when I don't feel well. So, I know I'm asking a lot. But….I…..if you think you can handle it…I want you to keep visiting and keep coming to treatments. Keep living your lives, but don't forget to come visit me sometimes. Even if I'm falling asleep on you or vomiting or too dizzy to move or don't feel well enough to talk. It helps to know I'm not alone. Not forgotten. To feel loved because…someone is willing to still be there, holding me through it. Even just holding my hand or talking to me to distract me." She gives up trying to stop the tears and just lets them fall. "That's what I meant. Not forgotten. Not alone."

"Berry," Quinn's tone is sharp "you can't keep us away."

Rachel blinks, a little startled. Her brow furrows slightly. Her friends expressions soften as they smile at her, seeming almost amused.

"I'm pretty sure the only reason we wouldn't be around is if you asked us to leave." Santana informs her.

"I was going to ask if I could start coming over more." Brittany says softly to her.

Rachel swallows hard and sniffles. "Really?"

They nod and chuckle. Noah smirks. "What's a little vomit between friends?"

"Speak for yourself." Kurt says with a shudder.

Rachel listens to her friends tease and boo Kurt for not being able to handle vomit. Not even for his "sister". She's still a little stunned. They had already wanted to be around more? Brittany very gently slides her arm behind Rachel's back. No longer able to deny her friend the comfort she's seeking, Rachel allows Brittany to pull her against her side. As her head comes to rest against Brittany's, she knows she won't be able to stay awake much longer. The way her friends are looking at her makes her think they know this as well.

"Anything else, Rachel?" Sam asks.

"Um….yeah. One more thing." They listen eagerly. "I need you to kick ass at Regionals."

Raucous laughter fills the room. Rachel grins. She hadn't been joking, but whatever. She's just glad they're laughing. She decides not to add on that she wants to be able to perform at Nationals after she gets better. While it may cheer them up, it could also put a lot of pressure on them. Or, if she doesn't survive, it could make them more upset. She listens quietly as the discussion switches to possible movies to watch.

Tina turns to her. "Would you rather watch a holiday movie or an action movie?"

"You're seriously asking me?" Rachel asks with an eyebrow raised.

"Um, yes?"

Rachel grins. "It was nice of you to ask, but I'm going to be asleep in about 5 minutes. You should probably ask someone who'll actually be awake to watch it."

Tina smiles sheepishly. The weight of their conversation lifts from the room as they get further away from it. However, the emotional toll it took on Rachel presents itself physically. It pushes her deeper into exhaustion and drags her eyelids down. She's awake to hear them decide on Die Hard but asleep before John McClane makes it off the plane.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The creamer spills down the side of the mug. Shelby sets it down with a shaking hand and takes a deep breath. Before she can try again, it is removed from her hand. Diane pours it for her, then adds some to her own fresh cup of coffee without a word. Shelby tries to smile, but assumes she hadn't quite managed it when her friend's response is to squeeze her shoulder. She needs to get a hold of herself before she returns to her living room. She had expected it to be a difficult conversation. She hadn't expected it to be this hard, though. After telling her family, she didn't think telling friends and acquaintances would be too much of a challenge. She was wrong.

For starters, just having to say the words again was painful. She doesn't think they'll ever get easier to say. What made it more painful than anticipated was their reactions. She knew they'd be upset to be told their child's close friend is potentially dying. And they all like Rachel, so it'd upset them, too. However, she hadn't thought about the fact that these people have known her daughter longer than she has. Most of them have known her for two years. While they're not closer to Rachel than Shelby is, they have more memories of her daughter than she had realized. The parents immediately started sharing stories of when they'd first met Rachel, or when they'd first heard her sing, or some sweet or funny story about a time when Rachel was over their house. Even though Rachel had primarily lived with the Hummel's her freshman year and the beginning of sophomore year, it turns out she spent a lot of time in the homes of the other Glee kids. Especially over the summer between freshman and sophomore year.

Many of these people consider Rachel to be an honorary member of their family. Even her school teachers; Will, Sue, Emma, and Holly. They may not consider Rachel family, per say, but they definitely have a soft spot for the girl. It is both heartwarming and saddening. Shelby particularly loves that this closeness began before Rachel got sick. Most of them met Rachel when she was healthy and quickly grew to care for her. It's a bit of a relief to have it confirmed that their warmth didn't begin with pity or sympathy due to her medical condition. Every single one of them used the same adjective to describe her: bright. Bright smile, bright eyes, bright personality, bright talent, bright mind. It brings Shelby joy to hear.

However, all of this makes Shelby realize that she herself has never seen Rachel healthy. If the doctor's worst predictions come to pass, she never will. She prays that she gets years and years to experience a healthy Rachel living her life. She tries to ignore the surge of jealousy. Not just that these people knew her daughter before her and for longer than her, but they knew her before she got sick. An experience the mother may never get. It is these thoughts that are roaring through her with an intensity that makes her hands shake. Shelby takes another moment to just breathe and compose herself.

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After the deep discussions are over, the adults begin asking what they can do to help. Shelby smiles slightly and thanks them, but says that for now, she's really not sure. She promises to reach out when she thinks of something. The parents warn her that their kids will probably be over frequently from now on. Shelby smiles warmly and makes it clear that she's perfectly fine with that.

"It'll be good for Rachel to have friends around. As much as she doesn't like not getting any privacy and she gets frustrated about not being able to be left alone, she still prefers having loved ones around. She's been worried that they won't want to be around much because her symptoms are so bad."

"Really? Why would she think that?"

"Her symptoms really are worse. It's difficult to watch. She's worried they'll be uncomfortable if she's in pain, not talking much, vomiting, slurring her words, dizzy….she worries it'll be too much for them to handle."

"I can understand Rachel worrying about that," Sue chimes in "but I think that after a couple days of the kids sticking around through stuff like that will alleviate that worry."

"I'm sure the kids will want to be around her regardless of her symptoms. I just worry that them coming over may be at a bad time or…I'm not quite sure how to explain it, I guess." Mercedes' mother struggles to find the right words. "If Rachel has a headache and a friend or two ring the doorbell, it could make her feel worse and make the kids feel guilty. If she finally fell asleep on the couch and the doorbell wakes her, it could be frustrating for her and you. If they come over and Rachel is getting a bath or something…that would be embarrassing for all involved."

"I see your point." Shelby admits.

"Well," Tina's mother begins, "what if there was a sign that Shelby could hang on the door? One that tells visitors to please knock instead of using the doorbell. Or maybe one that states that 'now is not a good time'. Something along those lines."

"Oh, that's a good idea." Judy Fabray nods along. Shelby agrees.

"They could also text Rachel or I to check if it's a good time to visit." Shelby suggests. "All of them have my number."

Diane leans forward. "Maybe a combination. It'd be a good idea for them to check in with one or both of you before coming over. Then, if something changes before they get here, the sign on the door can announce the change."

"And Shelby, please don't hesitate to send them….or us…..away if you decide you don't want guests around. For any reason." Carole smiles.

The teachers depart, each taking a moment to hug Shelby. Holly stays a bit longer and they briefly discuss having her come by a few days a week to tutor Rachel. That way, when she's feeling up to it, she can work on school work and not fall too far behind. Once its just the parents, they all decide they want to check on their kids. The large group gets in their cars and heads to the Hummel-Hudson house. They walk in to find almost all of the kids asleep. Artie is at the table with Mike and Blaine. The three boys are playing a card game. Everyone else is asleep.

Diane and Shelby stand before the loveseat where Brittany and Rachel are curled up asleep together. Shelby notices the slight bulge under her daughter's shirt and frowns. Lifting the hem of her shirt carefully, she sees the edge of an ace bandage and sighs.

"So either her bruises were hurting her or something new happened." Shelby sighs quietly.

Blaine steps next to them. "She was hugged. Some of them were….very tight hugs. Unfortunately, it not only meant that she was in pain and had to take some medicine and be iced, but not everyone got a chance to hug her yet."

"So they're going to want to hug her before leaving." Shelby states.

The boy nods. "Most likely, yes. They'll be careful, though. It's just…the tight hugs she got were at a very tense and emotional moment in the conversation. We'll be calmer now."

"How did it go?" Burt asks.

Mike and Artie have returned to the living room and they share a look with Blaine. "Um….it went….well."

"As well as a conversation like that can go." Artie clarifies, looking at his mother.

The parents all nod. Unanimously, they all decide to gently wake their children. Diane takes hold of Brittany's hands so the girl doesn't unintentionally grab Rachel tighter upon waking. When Brittany wakes, she jumps slightly, eyes immediately going down to Rachel. She calms as she takes in the scene around her. Diane kisses her cheek and Britt gives her mom a watery smile. Now that Brittany is awake, Shelby tries to wake Rachel. Her daughter shifts positions slightly and holds tighter to Brittany, but doesn't wake. A quick glance around confirms what she'd been hearing. Everyone else is awake. A sudden idea occurs to her and she decides to follow it.

"Finn," Shelby calls quietly, "can you do me a favor?"

The boy nods and comes over. "Sure."

"I'd like to take advantage of having everyone together while Rachel is still asleep. Can you take her upstairs for a few minutes?"

The tall quarterback doesn't respond verbally. He lifts his sleeping girlfriend and carries her upstairs. Shelby sits in her daughter's now vacant seat and wraps an arm around Brittany. The sweet girl instantly snuggles into her side, making her smile. Shelby looks around at the kids watching her.

"I want to start by thanking all of you. You've known my daughter longer than me. You've been in her life as her friends. As her family. Within hours of meeting her, she was already telling me about how her friends, her Glee club, was her family. And the most important thing to her."

Tears jump to many eyes, lips giving tremulous smiles.

"Before she was sick, but while dealing with her father, you were all there for her. And when she got sick, you immediately closed ranks around her. For the past year I've watched all of you support her and support each other. You are a wonderful group of kids. I've been trying to think of a way to express my gratitude to you all, but nothing seems to fit."

"We don't need you to thank us." Santana tells her. "We….despite everything…love each other. We love Rachel. We all see this group as family. This is just what you do for family."

Many of the parents are looking proud, listening to their kids jump in with their own agreements.

"I appreciate that, but I do need a way to thank you. I figured I could start by saying the words. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart." Once they've accepted her thanks, she goes on. "You all now know that…..things are going to be hard for a while. They're going to get worse before they get better. I know that you want to be around for her. And I know how much Rachel appreciates having you around. So please know that you are always welcome in our home. Or to join us at the clinic. However…..I need you to take care of yourselves and support each other as well. Don't visit if you're not comfortable or not feeling up to it. And make sure to find a safe way to deal with the stress this will bring."

A few odd sounds distract her. Snorts. Sniggers. She, and the other parents, frown. "What?"

"Aunt Shelby?" Kurt leans forward, a small grin on his face. "Rachel already gave us that talk."

The kids break out into giggles.

"What do you mean?" Burt asks his son.

"She made each of us promise to find a safe and healthy way to deal with all this." Quinn explains, a small smile forming on her face.

Shelby's smile grows as well. Her daughter continues to amaze her. The other parents are smiling or chuckling as well.

"Good."

"Of course, she also made us promise to kick ass at Regionals." Mercedes says, grinning.

An unexpected laugh is pulled from Shelby. Of course she did. But the laughter fades. Regionals will be held some time in late February. Just over two months away. By then, Rachel will either…..be gone…..or not be well enough to perform. Not even sitting and singing. No matter what, Rachel will not be performing at Regionals.

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Upstairs, Finn sits on the bed next his sleeping girlfriend with a deep frown. He's been trying so hard to be positive and relaxed around her, but at home its another story. He is terrified and furious with the world. He totally gets Puck's reaction. When they'd been told, he'd wanted to smash shit too. But he was in a hospital and his girl needed him to stay calm for her. So he pushed it all down and waited to release it at a more appropriate time. Finn doesn't know what he'll do if she dies. Break. That's what he'd do. He'd break apart. He doesn't care that he's only sixteen, he knows he has found his other half. He would do absolutely anything to see her healthy once more so that in a couple years he can watch her walk down the aisle to him. Its the vision of her in white, walking towards him, that he holds on to when he needs to be calm for her. He's glad that his friends know now. His mom, Burt, and Kurt have been helping him vent his anger and other emotions over the past few days. He's helped them, too. Now that they know, Puck and the other guys can help him deal with this, too.

Finn lays a hand on the ice packs and feels they've warmed to room temperature. They should take them off. He hesitates only a moment, then pulls her shirt up just enough to find the end of the ace bandage. Slowly, he starts to unwrap the bandage. He's sliding his arm under her to grasp the loose end when her eyes open. He keeps working, but monitors her slow progress with waking up. Her eyes connect with his and she smiles.

"Undressing me in bed?" Her voice is quiet and a little rough from sleep.

Finn's face flushes, heat searing his cheeks. "I'm just…"

She chuckles. "Taking off the ice packs. I know. I'm just teasing."

He leans over her so they're nose to nose. She brings her hands up, sliding them up his arms and along his shoulders until they rest on his cheeks. He kisses her. Then again. And again. Her hands slide behind his head, keeping him there for a deeper kiss. Their brief make out session ends when Rachel lets go of his head. While she tries to catch her breath, he pulls her into a sitting position. With her up, he's able to remove the bandage and ice packs faster. He sets them on the nightstand. Rachel tilts her head, listening to the voices in the distance.

"My mom's here?"

"All the parents are."

"Why are we up here?"

"Your mom wanted to talk to our friends."

Rachel nods. "Probably without me around. In case they don't feel comfortable speaking openly in front of me."

Finn shrugs. They hear laughter from below. "I guess they're done the emotional talk."

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Finn and Rachel went back down, taking the stairs slowly. She did her best to ignore the looks the adults gave her. Entering the living room, she plopped down on her mom's lap. The woman chuckled and wrapped her arms around her, pressing her cheek against Rachel's head. The group talked casually for a few minutes before deciding to call it a night. The friends who had not had a chance to hug Rachel yet took care to gently hug her before leaving.

It was exhausting, but good. Everyone knows and while everyone is heartbroken, they're also ready to help her fight. They are rallying around her.

So she will fight.

For them.

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