Cast
Brad: Father.. And Evil Mirror oO
Aya: The Evil Stepmother
Omi: Snow White
Nagi: The Prince
Youji: The Hunter
Schuldig: Naughty Dwarf
Farfie: Psychotic Dwarf
Ken: Queen Aya's Short Midgety Sidekick, and Morgue Attendant
Chen-Too: Narrator
Hisphere-chan: Incredibly Strange, High Co-author That Makes Annoying and Random Outbursts. Occasional Comic Relief.
Yuki: Not related directly to Hisphere-chan, though she is her sister. Head of Security.
Warnings: Language, (I think) yaoi, implications of one of the authors using weed, (what else is new?) poking at Ken for being stupid. We don't own anything. We don't have any money worth getting, so don't sue. oO; ~*~
Hisphere-chan: Alright everyone, welcome back to the stage production of Snow Omi and the Two Dwarfs.
Chen-Too: Now that everyone has finished... *coughs as the last two bishies get up off the stage floor, grinning*
Hisphere-chan: We can start the show again. Before we do, though, we'd like to thank our reviewers! We would have had five, but the story acted up, and I had to completely take it off and put it back on again, and I want to do THIS *makes a grotesque, violent gesture in midair with her hands* TO THE MORONS THAT MADE IT SCREW UP!.. *cough*.. But, more fanservice, eh? Strap on your seatbelts, and keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times! Thank you! ^_^
Chen-Too: o-; You've gotten into Youji's weed supply again, haven't you?
Hisphere-chan: ^_^ *nods fervently*
Chen-Too: *sighs* THIS is what they give me to put up with.. Anyway, when we last left off, the eeevil Queen Aya had poisoned some peanut butter and spread it on celery to give to her two henchmen, the Dwarfs! However, when Omi resisted the celery for fear it would kill him, Psychotic Dwarf had to force-feed it to our cute lil' bishounen. Omi then fell into a deeep sleeep..
**Curtain opens. OMI is passed out centerstage, while the STRIPPER HAREM, NAUGHTY DWARF, and PSYCHOTIC DWARF crowd around him.**
Stripper #1: You think if I gave him a lap dance he'd wake up?
Stripper #2: Or if I pole-danced for him?
Schu: Or, maybe this. *kneels down and gives Omi a long, hot, passionate kiss*
Omi: *blushing madly, but still, amazingly, stays unconscious*
Stripper #3: *whispers* Is that guy gay?
Stripper #1: I think it's *hot.*
Chen-Too: *coughs loudly* OMI THEN FELL INTO A DEEP SLEEP, AND THE QUEEN AYA CAME TO MAKE SURE HE WAS DEAD. He was about to be put into his coffin by the mourning dwarfs who weren't really mourning at all but were just doing it so they didn't have a rotting, smelly corpse on their hands. *deep breath* And NOW, Ken has switched roles. He is now Aya's short midgety side- kick.
Ken: *grumbling, from offstage* I wanted a better part..
Hisphere-chan: You'll get some ass later, Kenken. ^^
Naughty: Um.. If we're supposed to be putting him in a coffin, where is it?
*A stagehand skips onstage, hands Schu a small vase, and prances off again*
Hisphere-chan: --;;; WE WANTED A COFFIN, NOT AN URN, YOU NUMBSKULL!
*The same frightened stagehand runs onstage again, sets down a big glass coffin, and skips back off*
Chen-Too: o-; Better.
Hisphere-chan: Ooou.. O_O It has pillows on the inside!
Psychotic: ^__^ Stripper harems hurt God! *takes one offstage to get laid*
Naughty: --; Lucky bastard. *picks Omi up and dumps him unceremoniously into the coffin*
Omi: *thump* --;
Naughty: *does a surprisingly convincing imitation of someone mourning* ;__; OH, WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SWEET LITTLE SNOW OMI? WHY NOT TAKE ME INSTEAD, DEATH, WHY? OH, CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD!
Psychotic: *from offstage* But, *moans loudly* didn't you help kill him?
Naughty: Oh, yeah.. *thinks*.. *stares down at Omi* Tough luck, kid, it's curtains for you. *gives a two-fingered wave and saunters offstage, followed by three strippers*
Chen-Too: So finally, the horribly disfigured Queen Aya walked onstage to make sure Snow Omi was dead, and to call the city morgue.
Aya: *with a paper bag over his head* Hello? Yes, it's Queen Aya. Get your sorry ass over here, I have a dead girl you need to pick up. Get over here, and I mean NOW!
Ken: *dressed in all black leather, making fangirls swoon* I'm here.
Aya: Wow.. oO That _was_ fast. Alright, slave, pick this coffin up and take it to the middle of the forest.
Chen-Too: So Ken took Omi to the middle of the forest and set the coffin down on a lovely slab of marble that was conveniently waiting there for him, surrounded by flowers and animals there to make sure he was dead so he couldn't sing shrilly again.
Ken: *drops some white pebbles along the way so he'll be able to find his way back*
Hisphere-chan: *groans* For the LAST time, Ken, that is the WRONG STORY!
Ken: ;_; But the stones are so pretty..
Chen-Too: And Queen Aya followed him there to make sure he did his job right.
Hisphere-chan: *snorts* Yeah, right. That's just what he wants you to think, Ken.
Ken: *looks up from dropping the stones* Huh?
Hisphere-chan: *shakes her head sadly* Nevermind, change of plot.
Ken: *shrugs and stares down at the pretty pebbles*
Chen-Too: And so, Snow Omi lay dead in his glass coffin.. and.. just lay there.. Dead..
Hisphere: *rolls her eyes* That's your CUE, Prince Nagi.
Nagi: *proudly rides in on his miniature pony, who is toddling along at around two miles an hour, maybe three* What, pray, is this happy gathering? *spots Omi* O_O Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? *gets bopped over the head with random things* --; FINE! No respect for poetry these days, none at all.. *leans over and gives Omi a huge smack on the lips, then jumps inside the coffin, arranging the pillows so no one can see inside.
All: ;__; Damnit!
Fangirls: *shriek, and must be held back by the Head of Security, screaming as they are whapped with her Smite, Scorch, and Sizzle Stick*
Yuki: None shall get by! I want my Ken-groping pass, damnit, and nothing's going to get in my way! Especially not a bunch of prissy, boy-chasing fangirls that DON'T CARE THAT THEY HAVE NO CHANCE WHATSOEVER BECAUSE THE OBJECTS OF THEIR DESIRES ARE FRIGGIN' GAY!
Security Henchmen: *restrain fangirls with random bondage supplies the authors would rather not go into, and thwap them with burning cattle prods*
Hisphere-chan: O__O Is that legal?
Chen-Too: Do we care?
Both: *think*... *think some more* ... Nope.
Yuki: -wards off more fangirls and kicks some of them, popping some of their water balloon patented boobs and getting rid of the strategically placed toilet paper- BACK, BACK I SAY! o.o;
Authors: O__o;; How efficient!
Bishounen: *all in unison* XD I like this girl.
Chen-Too: Yes.. *cough* Back to the fic.
Youji: *offstage* CAN I FINISH MY DARE, NOW?
Authors and Yuki: *nod, big hearty eyes* YES!
Youji: *walks on, shamelessly nude, a very nude Aya, Brad, and Ken at his heels*
Chen-Too: O_O The censor bars are covering the wrong spots! We WANT to see their faces!
Hisphere-chan: *grinning* Heh, heh, heh.. Bribes. Can't live without 'em. *stares at her favorite bishies' vital areas*
Chen-Too: xx; HENTAI!
Hisphere-chan: ;_; You call me that like it's a bad thing..
Chen-Too: CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY?.. Jebus.. So, Nagi woke the sleeping Snow Omi, and they were both married. And they lived happily ever after.. Well, almost. Two years later, they had ten test-tube children named Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, and Pinocchio. The once happy couple divorced, and Snow Omi left Nagi, who gained custody of the children, who somehow was forced to pay Omi child support. **Curtain closes**
Omi and Nagi: *from offstage* You lying, cheating, son of a- *both run through their entire lists of profanities, obscenities, and rude gestures*
All bishounen: *runs offstage to their trailers, where they are hotly pursued by screaming, flat-chested fangirls.
Yuki: *from offstage* *holds a fire hose to the pushing and ravenous fangirls, who are now dying to get on stage, with the water pressure so high, the hose is literally vibrating, and the henchmen behind her holding large, frightening signs with the dreadful words "Tot lives ON!'' printed on it* They're becoming persistent, men. If they cause problems, TAKE NO PRISONERS! \_/
All: *sweatdrop*
Brad: Father.. And Evil Mirror oO
Aya: The Evil Stepmother
Omi: Snow White
Nagi: The Prince
Youji: The Hunter
Schuldig: Naughty Dwarf
Farfie: Psychotic Dwarf
Ken: Queen Aya's Short Midgety Sidekick, and Morgue Attendant
Chen-Too: Narrator
Hisphere-chan: Incredibly Strange, High Co-author That Makes Annoying and Random Outbursts. Occasional Comic Relief.
Yuki: Not related directly to Hisphere-chan, though she is her sister. Head of Security.
Warnings: Language, (I think) yaoi, implications of one of the authors using weed, (what else is new?) poking at Ken for being stupid. We don't own anything. We don't have any money worth getting, so don't sue. oO; ~*~
Hisphere-chan: Alright everyone, welcome back to the stage production of Snow Omi and the Two Dwarfs.
Chen-Too: Now that everyone has finished... *coughs as the last two bishies get up off the stage floor, grinning*
Hisphere-chan: We can start the show again. Before we do, though, we'd like to thank our reviewers! We would have had five, but the story acted up, and I had to completely take it off and put it back on again, and I want to do THIS *makes a grotesque, violent gesture in midair with her hands* TO THE MORONS THAT MADE IT SCREW UP!.. *cough*.. But, more fanservice, eh? Strap on your seatbelts, and keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times! Thank you! ^_^
Chen-Too: o-; You've gotten into Youji's weed supply again, haven't you?
Hisphere-chan: ^_^ *nods fervently*
Chen-Too: *sighs* THIS is what they give me to put up with.. Anyway, when we last left off, the eeevil Queen Aya had poisoned some peanut butter and spread it on celery to give to her two henchmen, the Dwarfs! However, when Omi resisted the celery for fear it would kill him, Psychotic Dwarf had to force-feed it to our cute lil' bishounen. Omi then fell into a deeep sleeep..
**Curtain opens. OMI is passed out centerstage, while the STRIPPER HAREM, NAUGHTY DWARF, and PSYCHOTIC DWARF crowd around him.**
Stripper #1: You think if I gave him a lap dance he'd wake up?
Stripper #2: Or if I pole-danced for him?
Schu: Or, maybe this. *kneels down and gives Omi a long, hot, passionate kiss*
Omi: *blushing madly, but still, amazingly, stays unconscious*
Stripper #3: *whispers* Is that guy gay?
Stripper #1: I think it's *hot.*
Chen-Too: *coughs loudly* OMI THEN FELL INTO A DEEP SLEEP, AND THE QUEEN AYA CAME TO MAKE SURE HE WAS DEAD. He was about to be put into his coffin by the mourning dwarfs who weren't really mourning at all but were just doing it so they didn't have a rotting, smelly corpse on their hands. *deep breath* And NOW, Ken has switched roles. He is now Aya's short midgety side- kick.
Ken: *grumbling, from offstage* I wanted a better part..
Hisphere-chan: You'll get some ass later, Kenken. ^^
Naughty: Um.. If we're supposed to be putting him in a coffin, where is it?
*A stagehand skips onstage, hands Schu a small vase, and prances off again*
Hisphere-chan: --;;; WE WANTED A COFFIN, NOT AN URN, YOU NUMBSKULL!
*The same frightened stagehand runs onstage again, sets down a big glass coffin, and skips back off*
Chen-Too: o-; Better.
Hisphere-chan: Ooou.. O_O It has pillows on the inside!
Psychotic: ^__^ Stripper harems hurt God! *takes one offstage to get laid*
Naughty: --; Lucky bastard. *picks Omi up and dumps him unceremoniously into the coffin*
Omi: *thump* --;
Naughty: *does a surprisingly convincing imitation of someone mourning* ;__; OH, WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SWEET LITTLE SNOW OMI? WHY NOT TAKE ME INSTEAD, DEATH, WHY? OH, CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD!
Psychotic: *from offstage* But, *moans loudly* didn't you help kill him?
Naughty: Oh, yeah.. *thinks*.. *stares down at Omi* Tough luck, kid, it's curtains for you. *gives a two-fingered wave and saunters offstage, followed by three strippers*
Chen-Too: So finally, the horribly disfigured Queen Aya walked onstage to make sure Snow Omi was dead, and to call the city morgue.
Aya: *with a paper bag over his head* Hello? Yes, it's Queen Aya. Get your sorry ass over here, I have a dead girl you need to pick up. Get over here, and I mean NOW!
Ken: *dressed in all black leather, making fangirls swoon* I'm here.
Aya: Wow.. oO That _was_ fast. Alright, slave, pick this coffin up and take it to the middle of the forest.
Chen-Too: So Ken took Omi to the middle of the forest and set the coffin down on a lovely slab of marble that was conveniently waiting there for him, surrounded by flowers and animals there to make sure he was dead so he couldn't sing shrilly again.
Ken: *drops some white pebbles along the way so he'll be able to find his way back*
Hisphere-chan: *groans* For the LAST time, Ken, that is the WRONG STORY!
Ken: ;_; But the stones are so pretty..
Chen-Too: And Queen Aya followed him there to make sure he did his job right.
Hisphere-chan: *snorts* Yeah, right. That's just what he wants you to think, Ken.
Ken: *looks up from dropping the stones* Huh?
Hisphere-chan: *shakes her head sadly* Nevermind, change of plot.
Ken: *shrugs and stares down at the pretty pebbles*
Chen-Too: And so, Snow Omi lay dead in his glass coffin.. and.. just lay there.. Dead..
Hisphere: *rolls her eyes* That's your CUE, Prince Nagi.
Nagi: *proudly rides in on his miniature pony, who is toddling along at around two miles an hour, maybe three* What, pray, is this happy gathering? *spots Omi* O_O Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? *gets bopped over the head with random things* --; FINE! No respect for poetry these days, none at all.. *leans over and gives Omi a huge smack on the lips, then jumps inside the coffin, arranging the pillows so no one can see inside.
All: ;__; Damnit!
Fangirls: *shriek, and must be held back by the Head of Security, screaming as they are whapped with her Smite, Scorch, and Sizzle Stick*
Yuki: None shall get by! I want my Ken-groping pass, damnit, and nothing's going to get in my way! Especially not a bunch of prissy, boy-chasing fangirls that DON'T CARE THAT THEY HAVE NO CHANCE WHATSOEVER BECAUSE THE OBJECTS OF THEIR DESIRES ARE FRIGGIN' GAY!
Security Henchmen: *restrain fangirls with random bondage supplies the authors would rather not go into, and thwap them with burning cattle prods*
Hisphere-chan: O__O Is that legal?
Chen-Too: Do we care?
Both: *think*... *think some more* ... Nope.
Yuki: -wards off more fangirls and kicks some of them, popping some of their water balloon patented boobs and getting rid of the strategically placed toilet paper- BACK, BACK I SAY! o.o;
Authors: O__o;; How efficient!
Bishounen: *all in unison* XD I like this girl.
Chen-Too: Yes.. *cough* Back to the fic.
Youji: *offstage* CAN I FINISH MY DARE, NOW?
Authors and Yuki: *nod, big hearty eyes* YES!
Youji: *walks on, shamelessly nude, a very nude Aya, Brad, and Ken at his heels*
Chen-Too: O_O The censor bars are covering the wrong spots! We WANT to see their faces!
Hisphere-chan: *grinning* Heh, heh, heh.. Bribes. Can't live without 'em. *stares at her favorite bishies' vital areas*
Chen-Too: xx; HENTAI!
Hisphere-chan: ;_; You call me that like it's a bad thing..
Chen-Too: CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY?.. Jebus.. So, Nagi woke the sleeping Snow Omi, and they were both married. And they lived happily ever after.. Well, almost. Two years later, they had ten test-tube children named Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, and Pinocchio. The once happy couple divorced, and Snow Omi left Nagi, who gained custody of the children, who somehow was forced to pay Omi child support. **Curtain closes**
Omi and Nagi: *from offstage* You lying, cheating, son of a- *both run through their entire lists of profanities, obscenities, and rude gestures*
All bishounen: *runs offstage to their trailers, where they are hotly pursued by screaming, flat-chested fangirls.
Yuki: *from offstage* *holds a fire hose to the pushing and ravenous fangirls, who are now dying to get on stage, with the water pressure so high, the hose is literally vibrating, and the henchmen behind her holding large, frightening signs with the dreadful words "Tot lives ON!'' printed on it* They're becoming persistent, men. If they cause problems, TAKE NO PRISONERS! \_/
All: *sweatdrop*